Things To Do After A Breakup

Whether you want your ex back or just move on and be happy, there are certain things you should and shouldn’t do after a breakup. You should keep your dignity, stay busy, invest in yourself, and project strength while avoiding making things worse for yourself and your ex. You could make things worse by begging, guilt-tripping, stalking your ex online or in person, or asking for friendship and showing you want or need your ex in your life.

The breakup indicates that something went wrong in the relationship and that you can’t continue to treat it as a relationship and act the same way. Instead of pretending everything’s fine, you must get some space from your ex and collect yourself. Space and time will help you stop feeling victimized, vengeful, or desperate and allow you to see the situation from a clearer perspective.

In other words, you’ll see that the breakup was inevitable and that it needed to happen so you could reflect, work on your shortcomings, and unlock new paths in life.

You could have worked on yourself during the relationship with your ex, but it’s extremely hard to do that when you’re emotionally close to your partner and consider him or her partially or fully responsible for some of your triggers and problems. Emotional closeness makes it hard to analyze the relationship situation and commit to growing as an individual.

Fortunately, the breakup changes things. It gives you an ideal opportunity to figure out where you went wrong and what you must work on to avoid the same mistakes in the future. If you don’t put any work in and focus only on fun things, it’s only a matter of time before you meet someone else and treat him or her the same way as your ex.

Remember that people don’t change unless they want to. They change only when they admit to making mistakes and open their mind up to criticism and change.

Some of the things you can work on are:

• emotional intelligence
• self-esteem
• shortcomings
• healthy communication

Therefore, there’s a lot to do after a breakup, starting with a thorough self-reflection. Ask yourself where you fell short and why it’s important to take the breakup seriously and put the work in. If you don’t work on yourself now that you failed romantically, you won’t work on yourself and make healthy changes later either.

Your best opportunity for permanent growth is now that you’re hurt and alone. You have time to think about things you did well and things you didn’t. Once you’ve committed to self-growth and made a list of things to work on, it’s time to get busy with your life. A busy schedule will help you take your mind off your ex and encourage emotional independence.

Every person enjoys different hobbies and activities. This is your chance to pick up some old and new personal interests and live independently of your ex. I don’t know what gives your life purpose, but make sure it has nothing to do with your ex. You want your life to be about you rather than your ex-partner. It doesn’t matter what you get busy with as long as you like it and distract yourself with it.

Get plenty of exercise as well. Exercising will release happy hormones, boost your cardiovascular system, and improve the quality of your sleep. If you’ve been eating unhealthily and neglecting your physique, there’s no better time to change your diet and get back in shape. Not only do you have more time on your hands as a single person, but you also feel motivated to make some personal changes.

If you’re a dumpee, you feel a strong need to be validated by your ex. And if you’re a dumper, you feel a desire to move on and be recognized by others. Regardless of which side of the breakup you’re on, it’s no secret that health and looks contribute both to self-satisfaction and attraction. If you’re happy with yourself, you’ll have an easier time finding a quality partner than if you’re unhappy, full of insecurities and unresolved issues.

Whether you’re insecure or secure, you’ll gravitate toward people like you and ultimately attract a like-minded individual.

So if you don’t know how to keep yourself busy after a breakup, one of the best things to do after a breakup is to establish an exercise routine. Set your fitness goals and work out/stay physically active. That way, you’ll feel more confident, feel better, and eventually, have an extra positive trait to attract a person you like.

You should also increase your overall knowledge and skills. Pursue new learning opportunities such as taking online courses, reading self-help books, and hiring a life coach. Aim to develop skills that aid your personal and professional life. You can’t go wrong by improving your communication skills, problem-solving techniques, and things that give you an advantage in life.

Any skill, even if it’s drawing, cooking, self-defense, or a new language is a good form of distraction and a worthy post-breakup investment. It’s certainly better than staying obsessed with your ex and investing your energy and time in a relationship that no longer exists.

Many dumpees focus hard on their education or career. They do so with the intention to excel in their chosen path, feel some sense of control, and gain their ex’s approval. Initially, they try to better themselves and work on their goals solely to impress their ex.

It usually takes them a few months to detach a bit and see that they’re investing in their lives for themselves rather than their ex. That’s when they lose some of the drive to self-invest and need a new motivator to learn and grow.

In this post, we continue to discuss the best things to do after a breakup whether you’re a dumpee or a dumper.

Things to do after a breakup

One of the best things to do after a breakup is to invest in personal development. Self-work won’t only improve your chances in life but also make it easier for you to cope with the breakup. It will decrease the time spent obsessing over your ex and beating yourself up over your mistakes.

You probably feel lost and confused, which is understandable. The breakup disoriented you and showed you that you depend on your ex for happiness, self-esteem, and perhaps even purpose in life. Whatever you need your ex for, consider the breakup your chance to become your own person again. You can do this by investing in your hobbies and interests and parts that need the most work.

If you’re in a tight financial situation and used to depend on your ex for finances, it’s time to do something about it. Pursue a better education or look for work that meets your needs and provides security. You’ll recover quicker if you don’t need your ex for basic things such as money, self-love, and a sense of direction. Your romantic partner must never be your top priority.

He or she must be the spice in your life rather than the main dish.

This should be one of your top priorities as a dumpee, so figure out how to stop hurting and being obsessed with your ex. If you can do that, you’ll feel better, think clearer, and operate independently and more efficiently.

The breakup demands changes and punishes laziness and stagnation. If you stay still and make no changes whatsoever, it will take you ages to get back on your feet. Additionally, it will show your ex that you’re still the same old you and that getting back with you would be a big mistake.

So don’t just wait to get over the breakup and instead take charge of it. Do this by identifying your flaws and weaknesses and actively working on them. Also, make sure to surround yourself with people who support you and encourage growth and detachment. They will give you realistic breakup advice and avoid giving you false hope and ideas to reach out.

You may really miss your ex, but you can’t give in to nostalgia and anxiety and contact your ex just to ask for time, validation, and love. You must consider the relationship over and your ex someone who can’t help you. That way, you’ll slowly get your ex out of your system and find better people and things to obsess about.

It’s important to set some short-term as well as long-term goals. Goals will keep you preoccupied with things that decrease your ex’s importance in your eyes and improve your overall happiness.

With that said, here are the best things to do after a breakup.

What not to do after a breakup?

Most dumpees know that begging and pleading is a big breakup mistake. It’s one of the worst things they can do to pressure the dumper and ruin his or her perception of them. Besides begging, communication is also high up on the not-to-do list. Communication with the dumper displays emotional dependence and tends to put the dumper in an uncomfortable situation.

It forces the dumper to choose between replying, ignoring, and asking for space.

How the dumper responds to breakup mistakes depends on the dumper’s personality, maturity, and the severity of the mistake, but usually, the dumper has limited patience. If you keep bothering the dumper, you’re bound to receive a response you’re not ready to receive.

Hence, it’s better not to do things on impulse.

Don’t send your ex love letters, gifts, apologies, recordings, and things that remind your ex you’re still hurt and waiting to get back together. Such actions will test your ex’s patience and bring a negative reaction out of your ex. A reaction that destroys your reconciliation hope and remaining self-love.

When you bombard your ex with unsolicited texts, calls, letters, and gifts, your ex will see that you don’t respect your ex’s need for space and that you just want what you want. Needless to say, your ex won’t pity you if you don’t even respect your ex and yourself. It’s much more likely that your ex will lose his or her cool and push you away by force.

So don’t pester your ex from a distance or in person. Showing up unannounced or asking for attention and favors will make your ex lose all respect, curiosity, and desire to converse quicker than you can say “whoops.”

If you’re not getting what you want from your ex, it’s because your ex doesn’t want to give it. You shouldn’t keep trying to get it through communication and nice gestures. You especially shouldn’t get angry and threaten your ex because threats and confrontations will make your ex want to defend himself or herself.

Your ex will probably block you or get a restraining order against you.

If you’re not prepared to find out what happens, don’t do anything you wouldn’t want an ex from the past to do to you. Your chances of success with your ex will be higher if you give your ex the space he or she asked for by breaking up with you.

What are some of the things you did or still do after a breakup? Share your experiences below the post.

And if you want to discuss the dos and don’ts of a breakup further, reach out to us directly. We’ll work together to devise a custom-tailored plan.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.