My Husband Left Me For Another Woman, Will It Last?

When your husband leaves you for another woman and makes you feel replaced by her, you can only think about how happy they must be together. You don’t know anything about their relationship, yet you assume that they’re doing well and that they’ll get married and live happily ever after.

Although they’re doing well, this is because their relationship is new. They’re still getting to know each other and haven’t encountered any major differences or problems. Problems will occur months into the relationship when they get comfortable with each other and reveal how they cope with stressors.

If you don’t have insight into their relationship, it’s impossible to predict if your husband will regret leaving you and come back. It’s unproductive to spend a lot of time thinking about it because it depends on how good your relationship was, how your ex copes with difficult emotions, and how the two of them get along after the infatuation period.

If they encounter a lot of problems (especially early on), your husband could become doubtful about his new partner and feel nostalgic about you. This could lead to feelings of regret that make your husband come running back for happiness and safety.

Regret could kick in. But for that to happen, something must go majorly wrong in their relationship. They must be so different or incapable of compromising that they bring out the worst in each other and want to be with people they previously admired/dated.

This means your ex must respect you and find you attractive at the time of the breakup. He must think of you as an equal and want you back to feel how he felt before he met the person he left you for. 

If your ex resents you, blames you for the breakup, and treats you terribly, your ex likely won’t come back even if his new relationship ends on a bad note. The guy will probably move forward and find someone new to date.

If you’re lucky, perhaps the breakup after the next breakup will make him reflect and change his opinion of you.

There’s no guarantee that it will, but usually, guys need to compare their new life to the life they had with their ex to realize they made a mistake. They need to get hurt and want their ex to fix their problems for them. 

That’s one of the best and only ways their ex can be useful to them and make them recommit to the relationship. 

I know you want your husband back, but you should remember that your husband left you for another woman. He disregarded your feelings and commitment and abandoned you to pursue his dreams with someone else. You shouldn’t instantly forgive the person who betrayed you.

If he comes back, he needs to work hard for your forgiveness and love. By working hard, he can see that you respect yourself and that you won’t let the new relationship be a continuation of the previous one.

If the relationship continues rather than starts from scratch, it will encounter the same problems and break the moment he feels tempted to cheat, leave, or both.

The guy cheated on you and left you for someone else. Before you contemplate getting back with him, ask yourself if he’s even worth waiting and fighting for. He may be your husband whom you’ve committed to for life, but he doesn’t deserve you right now.

He doesn’t value his commitment because his focus is on the new partner. His focus will remain on her unless his relationship ends and his plans burn. When things go south, his romantic failure could cause shock, pain, and regret, and create a strong need to run back to his backup plan (you) for reassurance and safety.

So if your husband left you for another woman and you’re wondering if he will come back, bear in mind that he might if he’s unprepared for the new relationship.

If he expects the new relationship to work on its own without any effort, if his new partner leaves him, or if they’re fundamentally different (incompatible), he could realize he left a great person and try to get back with you.

But to do that, he’ll need to think of you as someone who can ease his pain and make him feel secure. You’ll need to preserve your value as a dumpee and show him you’re confident, self-sufficient, and capable of uplifting others.

In this post, we discuss what to do if your husband left you for another woman and if it will last.

My husband left me for another woman

If your husband left you for another woman, it was no accident. Your husband knew exactly what he was doing when he was connecting with another woman behind your back. He knew it was wrong, but because it felt good, he kept doing it and getting to know her anyway.

Eventually, he developed romantic and sexual expectations of her and crossed the friendship boundary. That was when he realized that his new connection was stronger than the connection he had with you and that he was going to be happier with the new woman.

He didn’t understand that the reason he found her so attractive was because he didn’t know much about her, hadn’t experienced any problems with her, and craved her validation. Their connection was new and flawless at the time, so he didn’t hesitate to dump you for her.

He just wanted to keep feeling important.

A person who does that is no catch. He’s a cheater and an opportunistic monkey-brancher who abandons commitments as soon as someone different comes along and gives him butterflies. He’s self-serving and shouldn’t be in a relationship until he’s developed gratitude.

In life, an average husband meets many women and gets numerous opportunities to cheat. His ability to identify and resist temptations determines his faithfulness and long-term success and happiness.

Someone who craves validation from others and lacks the morals to say no to the opposite (or preferred) gender will act on urges and emotions and do what he needs to do to feel good.

He won’t consider his loyal partner’s feelings because his happiness is more important to him than the pain his partner will suffer when she learns about his betrayal.

So if your husband left you for another woman, know that he didn’t do that because you were a terrible partner. You made mistakes like all people, but you didn’t put a gun to his head and make him cheat and leave.

The guy betrayed you of his own accord because he liked feeling prioritized and validated. Love hormones convinced him that his new relationship was worth the risk and that he had to abandon his marriage for it.

Due to a lack of self-awareness, morality, and care for you, he did the most impulsive thing that came to mind and committed to someone he didn’t even know. He had no idea how that person would react in difficult situations that involve stress and anger.

He wasn’t thinking about that because he made an emotional decision to leave.

If you want him back, the guy will need to make another emotional decision. He’ll need to feel dissatisfied with his new partner and feel a desire or sense of urgency to reconnect.

The only way he’ll feel that way is if you avoid breakup mistakes and give their relationship space and time to progress. He won’t respect and value you if you always talk to him and try to interfere with their relationship.

If you try to break them up, they’ll team up against you and push you away by force. That will make it harder for your ex to value you and want to be with you even if things don’t work out between them.

Also, bear in mind that he might not come back. Whether they break up or not, their relationship may not end or end anytime soon. They may stay together even if he’s not as happy as he was with you.

For example, if they argue a lot but he respects his partner because she stands up for herself, he could find her attractive and stay with her despite their problems. Their relationship may not be the healthiest, but it would work because he values strength and self-determination.

For him to come back, their relationship will have to be much worse than the relationship he abandoned. It will have to be so bad, he’ll want to forget it with you or someone else.

Don’t wait for his relationship to fail. If they just started seeing each other, it will probably take them 3 or 4 months just to get a sense of how they function together. It will take them a few more months after that for them to stop hiding their bad traits and disagree about things.

That means for half a year or so, their relationship will be too new to encounter any major problems. Of course, there are always exceptions. Some new couples are so different and incompatible that they fail within weeks.

But such couples usually don’t leave their partners for each other. They tend to realize they’re not a good match and come clean or hide the cheating from their partners.

What they do depends on their morals, but in general, couples who’ve been together for a few weeks or longer probably won’t rebound and break up as soon as you want them to.

They’ll probably stay together for many months and do their best to make their relationship work. If they can’t make it work, they’ll think about other ways to be happy. Other ways include backup plans and other romantic prospects.

If you wait for your husband to fail and have an epiphany, you could wait for a very long time. You could wait for years and still not get what you want. Hence, you should let them be together if they want to. Let them live with betrayal on their conscience and fear of getting cheated on.

They deserve each other whereas you deserve someone better.

Yes, you want your husband to come back, but that’s because your self-esteem took a hit. You don’t want him back because you love him but because you don’t love yourself. You’re struggling to rationally understand the situation and think of his betrayal as a dealbreaker.

I don’t blame you. I forgave my ex when she cheated on me too. I certainly wasn’t thinking clearly. I suppose I just wanted to stop hurting and feel secure.

Today, I wouldn’t be so forgiving. I’d think long and hard before taking back a cheater and a monkey-brancher. But that’s only because I’ve learned to respect myself and developed a belief that relationships are commitments and that anyone who breaks a commitment does so because he or she doesn’t care, nor have the same values as me.

You’ll see what I mean when you heal and change how you think of your ex and relationships. So give it some time and wait for your anxious brain to detox. It will get easier and make perfect sense when you stop blaming yourself and craving your ex’s validation.

That said, here’s why your husband left you for another woman.

If you want your husband back after he left you for another person, bear in mind that his emotional state has to change. It has to change from feeling secure to feeling uncertain and insecure.

This can happen if his new relationship:

• ends
• experiences a lot of problems and uncertainties
• hurts him and his self-esteem
• makes him nostalgic and forces him to compare his unhappiness in the relationship to his happiness when he was with you
• goes through the infatuation phase, makes him see what his new relationship is like, and triggers regrets

Don’t expect your husband to come back just because you were together for years. He’ll need to get hurt badly before he can reflect on his decisions and realize his life was much better when he was with you.

That’s why you shouldn’t put your life on hold for him. He’s not doing that for you and you shouldn’t do it for cheaters like him either.

So what to do when your husband leaves you for another woman and you want him back?

First, let’s talk about what not to do.

Don’t beg and plead, take revenge, warn the new woman about your ex, threaten her, or try to make them break up. If you try to worsen your ex’s life, improve your ex’s perception of you, or force your ex or the new woman to leave the relationship, you’ll most likely fail and become known as the crazy ex who won’t go away.

You’ll become someone who doesn’t want others to be happy when you’re not happy. That will decrease your attractiveness in your husband’s eyes and make him glad he broke up with you.

Any attempt to reconcile and feel in control of the breakup will make you look and feel worse.

So whatever you do, don’t do anything drastic that makes your husband think thoughts and feel emotions that he doesn’t want. Don’t show him you’re still around, waiting to reconcile. Desperation won’t attract him now that he’s fallen out of love with you and in love with someone else.

All desperation will do is kill his doubts, guilt, and sense of urgency.

Instead of throwing yourself at his feet, go no contact with your husband. Show him you won’t be his friend and that you have the strength to move forward with your life. Self-confidence won’t attract him in the short term, but it will prevent him from thinking and feeling worse about you.

In other words, it will preserve your worth as a dumpee and give him a chance to experience the life he wants. He may not be with you, but he wants to decide what he wants on his own. You shouldn’t try to influence him.

He doesn’t want and can’t be influenced because he wants to see his new relationship thrive. If he fails in the pursuit of happiness, he’ll fail and do something about it. But right now, he’s not thinking about falling. He’s focusing on things that work because those things make him feel good and allow him to focus on the present moment.

When your husband leaves you for another woman and you want him back, you must let him go so he can date the woman he left you for. While he’s dating and getting to know her, you must do your best to reduce your dependence on him and see him for the person he is.

This won’t only help you move on with your life but also help you decide if you want him back when or if life gives him lemons. If you work on yourself, detach, or find someone else, you probably won’t want him back.

You’ll know that a cheater could cheat again and that it’s safer for you to start a new relationship with someone else.

While you’re figuring things out and recovering from rejection, make sure to work on yourself. If you don’t make any positive changes, your ex or someone else will leave when the relationship loses momentum and experiences problems.

You can avoid or reduce the chance of heartbreak in the future by putting the necessary work in now that you’re hurting and want things to change. After all, rejection is the best motivation.

So all in all, if you want your husband back after he left you for another woman, give him space and let him do what he wants. Your time to act and learn if he’s learned his lessons is when he contacts you and asks for forgiveness and another chance.

That’s when you can show him your improvements and take back your lost power.

Are you still wondering why your husband left you for another woman and if it will last? How long are you prepared to wait for him to come back? Comment below and let us know.

And if you’re looking for help with your breakup, visit our coaching page and get in touch.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.