Why Won’t He Leave Me Alone When He Has A Girlfriend?

If a guy won’t leave you alone when he has a girlfriend, there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for his behavior. The guy (like most guys) loves your attention and most likely wants to be your friend.

At the moment (if you just met him), he’s probably interested in you only as a friend. But if he continues talking to you and gets to know you on a personal level, he may slowly develop feelings for you and cross the friendship line.

If that happens, he’ll have an even harder time leaving you alone because he’ll become attached to you. He’ll become dependent on you for an exchange of emotions and as a result, risk falling out of love with his girlfriend.

Some guys, unfortunately, don’t see anything wrong with having close female friends because they strongly believe it’s their right to have friends. While this is true, it’s also true that many guys aren’t mature enough to be good friends with another girl when they have a girlfriend.

Many guys, unfortunately, fantasize about what it’d be like to be with someone else and because of their fantasies, oftentimes become confused about their feelings for their girlfriend.

That’s when they start to compare their girlfriend to their friend and wait for something to push them toward either person.

I’m not saying all guys have trouble controlling their thoughts and staying loyal, but a great deal of them have a difficult time identifying their feelings. They can’t tell if they feel drawn to another girl because they like her as a friend or because they like her more than that.

Today, we’ll talk about how to tell if a guy with a girlfriend likes you and answer the question of the article, “Why won’t he leave me alone he has a girlfriend.”

Does a guy with a girlfriend like me?

You can tell that a guy with a girlfriend likes you is if he spends more time, effort, and feelings on you than he does on his girlfriend. This is an indication that you captivate him more than his girlfriend and that he’d like to continue to get to know you and bond with you.

A guy who likes you won’t always tell you that he likes you. Sometimes he’ll show you that he’s into you by offering to help, asking for favors, or inviting you out. Guys tend to take the initiative and prefer to earn their worth and show their commitment through actions.

So don’t expect the guy in question to voice his feelings the way girls do.

Instead, look at his actions. Look at the things he does, his body language, and flirtatious remarks. It will tell you what he thinks and how he feels.

With that said, here are 5 ways to tell a guy with a girlfriend likes you.

Why won’t a guy with a girlfriend leave me alone?

The biggest reason why he won’t leave you alone when he has a girlfriend is that he doesn’t want to leave you alone. He doesn’t need to because he doesn’t understand that talking to you is disrespectful to his girlfriend, unfair to you, and morally degrading to himself.

He doesn’t care about it because talking to you gives him more pleasure than respecting his girlfriend and doing the right thing.

This means that the guy talks to you and seeks your attention because he doesn’t realize the danger of talking to another girl. He lacks relationship insight and basic knowledge of how a person in a relationship should behave.

It’s highly likely that his girlfriend doesn’t even know that he’s talking to you and gravitating toward you. He’s probably keeping it a secret from her so that she doesn’t react badly and cause “drama.”

I know a handful of girls who were suspicious of their boyfriends’ behavior. Some had a reason to be suspicious and others didn’t. But all of those girls said that their boyfriends used the same tactic on them.

Their boyfriends all tried to justify their behavior by saying things like:

• she’s just a friend
• you worry too much
• nothing’s going on
• I’m allowed to have friends
• you’re too controlling/needy/insecure

Instead of easing their girlfriends’ worries, the guys interpreted their girlfriends’ cries for help as a complaint and retaliated in self-defense.

I’m pointing this out because guys who say the above-mentioned things don’t understand that they’re allowed to have female friends. They can talk to them and have a good time, but they need to tell their girlfriends about it and make sure that their girlfriends feel safe and secure.

Some guys will argue that it’s their girlfriend’s job to feel secure, happy, and independent in a relationship—and they’re right. Every person must live for himself or herself and have blind faith.

Relationships can’t work without trust.

But girls can’t trust unless guys stop triggering their fears and anxiety.

He lacks self-control

A guy with a girlfriend won’t leave you alone because he can’t control his impulses.

He loves feeling validated by someone other than his girlfriend, so he continues to extort attention from you (and perhaps even from others) to make himself feel good.

Deep inside, he probably knows that he shouldn’t act on his emotions, but because he hasn’t developed the ability (the willpower) to say no to temptations, he does it anyway.

He talks to you even though he should be focusing on the person he’s with.

Such a guy falls under the impulsive/oblivious category and is at great risk of emotionally cheating on his girlfriend. He may not intend to cheat and cause harm, but because he hasn’t learned about relationships and developed himself as a person, he can’t help but listen to his emotions and do what seems right to him.

Guys who aren’t emotionally mature as people tend to react to negative emotions much more than people with decent self-control. That’s why you can often measure their self-control by observing their negative, self-destructive tendencies.

He lacks relationship knowledge and possibly even morals

If he keeps pursuing you and won’t leave you alone despite being in a relationship, it’s obvious that the guy knows very little about relationships. He doesn’t know that his interest/investment in you could affect his commitment to his girlfriend and cause issues for his relationship.

A guy’s relationship mentality and moral values, unfortunately, often determine how a guy behaves in a relationship.

If he knows that talking to exes and other women in a relationship is wrong, he won’t talk to other women. He especially won’t talk to random women who are single and show lots of interest in them.

But if he doesn’t care too much about what’s right or wrong and always does what’s best for him, then he may talk to other women because doing so validates his importance and makes him feel the emotions he felt at the beginning of his relationship.

It’s important to note that not all guys in a relationship who talk to other women are bad people. Most of them just don’t know that it makes their partners feel uncomfortable and insecure.

What to do when he has a girlfriend but won’t leave you alone?

If a guy won’t leave you alone when he has a girlfriend, you shouldn’t just keep talking to the guy. You should instead convey to him that you’re not interested in friendship (or whatever he’s after) and that you don’t have time to talk/chat.

The easiest way you can do this is to ignore his compliments, personal questions, and flirting attempts and say that you don’t want to talk about them.

If he’s mature, he’ll realize he overstepped your boundaries and back off. But if he’s not very mature, he could respond with anger and express his discontent in a very straightforward manner.

There’s also the possibility that he won’t get the hint and keep pursuing despite you telling him not to. In that case, you should be more direct with him make sure he understands that you don’t want to get involved with him in any way.

Whatever the guy does, you need to be firm with your decision and remind him that you’re not interested in talking to him. You don’t need to threaten him that you’ll tell his girlfriend, but do show him that you’re a busy person who doesn’t entertain taken guys.

Did you learn why a guy won’t leave you alone when he has a girlfriend? What do you intend to do about him? Comment below.

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Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.