Why Do Guys Go To The Gym After A Breakup?

Most guys go to the gym after a breakup due to their drive to grow, improve, and be noticed. They want to make use of the breakup and change their lives for the better. That’s why they start an intense/frequent gym routine and often share their progress with others.

Those who get dumped wish to impress their ex and get another chance with their ex (at least initially). And those who dump their ex tend to have a crush on someone else and want that person to find them attractive. This isn’t always the case, but dumpers pay a lot of attention to their looks and how they present themselves.

They’re back on the market, so they make sure they leave a good impression on their ex.

Therefore, dumpees go to the gym to boost their self-esteem and overcome pain whereas dumpers do it to boost their ego. They both want to get in shape (bulk up or lose weight) and feel good about the changes they’ve made to their bodies.

Working out also tires their bodies and releases happy hormones. It addicts them to working out and the physical improvements they accomplish.

Working out is a great self-empowerment and distraction activity that allows people to take their minds off their ex and focus on themselves. Self-focus allows dumpees to detach and prevents dumpers from thinking about their actions and feeling guilty or ashamed.

Every guy should work out regularly. Especially guys who got dumped because such guys are in need of healing and detachment. They need to learn to love themselves and rebuild their self-esteem.

Gyming is one of the best ways for them to do that as they look better and also feel better. They invest in themselves and enjoy tracking their progress.

The breakup gives guys a powerful incentive to improve the quality of their life. It just so happens that for most guys, the physical aspect of their life is the easiest to improve. It tends to create the quickest and most noticeable results.

That means they’re able to feel confident and shift their focus to the person they like. If that person is an ex, they post their fitness progress on social media and hope that their ex will notice.

And if he or she is someone they talk to and want to date, they tend to wear clothes that reveal their progress Of course, not every guy shows off after the breakup, but as far as I know, guys either wish to allure someone they like or they’re so hungry for their ex’s validation that they’re willing to do anything to be with their ex.

They’re willing to beg and plead and prove that they’re capable of taking care of themselves and making their ex happy.

Guys especially have a strong desire to do something about the breakup. They don’t like the idea of staying idle and watching their ex move on. They want to show that they’re not the same people as they were before the breakup.

That’s why they sign up for the gym, hang out with their friends, and focus on work.

So if you’re wondering, “Why do guys go to the gym after a breakup,” it usually depends on whether they left their ex or got left by their ex. Those who leave their ex start new hobbies and routines to disassociate themselves from their ex and attract new people. They want to look attractive and feel good to move on with their lives.

As for those who get left, they feel abandoned, invalidated, and hurt and want to look good for their ex. They hope that by looking good, they’ll prove their ex wrong and make their ex respect them and want them.

Initially, male dumpees go to the gym to increase their chances of being with their ex. But when they accept the breakup and deal with the hardest breakup emotions, they realize that going to the gym helps them, not their ex.

It gives them energy, strength, purpose, and a good physique. They don’t need to impress their ex anymore because they enjoy their life and the hobbies they’ve picked up thanks to their ex.

Hobbies, physical improvements, and the lessons they’ve learned become more important to them than showing their ex their improvements and putting their heart on the line.

In today’s post, we answer the question of why guys go to the gym after a breakup. We talk about the benefits of gyming and when guys typically stop going to the gym.

Why do guys go to the gym after a breakup?

Guys go to the gym after a breakup to tone their bodies and get in shape. They consider the breakup a great opportunity for them to get busy and strive toward a healthy goal. A goal that distracts them, makes them healthy/happy, and gives them purpose.

Guys feel a strong need to take action after the breakup. Failure and pain force them to be better romantic partners and people.

That’s why guys grow more than women, often more than women.

They may have more maturing to do than women, but because they’re doers rather than thinkers, negative experiences such as breakups make them get off their butts and force them to do something about the situation they’re in. This tends to happen a week or so post-breakup after they’ve dealt with denial and regained their focus.

Guys could just buy some dumbells and exercise at home, but they often choose to go to the gym. They prefer to surround themselves with friends and random people because others stop them from breaking down and feeling depressed.

Mixing socially with others is extremely important for men and women who are struggling emotionally after a breakup. Socializing is one of the 3 most important things they can do to stay in control of their emotions.

If they commit to gyming long-term, it even becomes a hobby. The longer they do it, the more used they get to it and the more they fall in love with the results.

Some of the results they get by going to the gym are:

• improved focus, memory, and overall brain function
• more energy and higher testosterone levels
• happy hormones and reduced feelings of anxiety and depression
• weight management
• strengthening of bones and muscles
• increased flexibility
• improved sleep
• reduced health risk
• socialization

Before guys join a gym, they decide they’re not happy with their physical state or that they want to be in better shape. If they don’t hit the gym, they think they would remain unattractive and/or unhealthy and have a much smaller chance of impressing their ex and making their ex want to be with them.

That’s what they think. The truth is that unless their ex left because they had neglected themselves, physical fitness is one of the least important factors in getting back with an ex. Dumpers may notice dumpees’ changes, but if they don’t like and respect their ex, they don’t come back.

A bigger biceps or less body weight isn’t enough for them to stop their negative thinking patterns. It’s not enough for them to forget the past and want their ex back. To want their ex back, they must forget the negative image of their ex they created throughout the relationship and find valid reasons to fall back in love.

They must see that they traded a good life for a bad one and that if they don’t get back with their ex that they’ll continue to suffer immensely.

So if you’re still wondering why guys go to the gym after a breakup, they go there to relieve anxiety and boost their ego and self-esteem. They think of the breakup as the perfect opportunity to make some healthy changes and improvements.

If they don’t make any physical changes when they have the incentive to make them, they know they won’t make them later either. They will likely stay as they are.

With that said, here’s why guys go to the gym after a breakup.

In essence, guys sign up for the gym after a breakup to get the most out of their breakup. They feel it’s time to upgrade their life and appear more attractive to their peers and those they wish to impress.

If they wish to make a good impression on their ex, their motivation is reconciliation. And if they wish to move on and have a fresh new relationship with someone else, they feel motivated by their dating prospect’s interest and infatuation with their body.

Of course, some guys go to the gym mainly to feel better, but I haven’t yet met a single person who goes to the gym not to look good to others as well. If you have, let me know in the comments below and we’ll interview him or her.

The point I’m trying to make is that people also go to the gym to make a positive impression on others. They enjoy the progress they make but they also wouldn’t mind a compliment or two from others. Compliments validate people and fuel them with the motivation to keep going.

Ask any dumpee who goes to the gym after the breakup and he or she will tell you his or her reasons for working out so ardently.

My ex started going to the gym

If your ex started going to the gym, don’t think it’s got anything to do with you. Your ex probably wants to do things differently. That doesn’t mean you were a bad partner but that your ex wants to do new things. Things that feel good and don’t remind your ex of everything you did as a couple.

If your ex left you, your ex feels relieved and empowered. Your ex wants to stop associating himself or herself with you and live independently. Going to the gym allows your ex to take the first step toward a new life as your ex doesn’t have any experiences with the gym that remind him or her of you and make your ex feel guilty.

The gym is your ex’s safe haven. It allows your ex to expend excess energy and convert that energy into looking and feeling good. Now that you broke up, your ex has a lot of extra time and energy on his or her hand. Your ex is free of the responsibilities that came with the relationship, so your ex doesn’t need to worry about you and your problems.

Your ex can just focus entirely on his or her new life and friends. Doing so makes your ex happy. That is if your ex is the dumper. If your ex is the dumpee (the person who left you), your ex is probably having a hard time focusing on himself/herself.

Your ex must be obsessed with the breakup and getting you back. Most dumpees are. They need months (or after long-term/intense relationships) years to fully process the separation. They need that long because heartbreak requires dumpees to go through stages of grief at their own pace.

Some process breakups faster than others, but ultimately, it’s not about the speed. Everyone learns different things and copes differently. Some dumpees drown their misery in alcohol, some sign up for dating apps, and some sign up for the gym.

If your ex is only going to the gym to impress you, your ex will probably quit gyming when he or she detaches from you and loses the incentive to impress you. That’s when your ex will stop working on himself or herself and move on to something or someone else.

On the other hand, if your ex left you, your ex probably signed up for the gym to do something productive and improve his or her physical fitness, looks, self-esteem, and the way others perceive him or her. Whether your ex will commit to the gym long-term depends on your ex’s goals and desire to keep working out.

All in all, you should forget about your ex and also sign up for the gym. Working out regularly is not only healthy but also good for your independence, value, and people’s attraction to you.

Why do you think guys go to the gym after a breakup? What’s your view on this topic? Share your thoughts below.

However, if you want to discuss guys’ gyming behavior with us, click here to get in touch.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.