Why Do Guys Always Leave Me For Someone Else?

Pinpointing the exact reason why guys always leave you for someone else would be nearly impossible. I don’t know you on a personal level, so I can’t say if it was because you did this or because you said that.

But before we talk about the typical relationship killers, know that guys cheating on you and monkey-branching into another person’s arms has very little to do with what you were like as a person.

You may have caused arguments at times or did something the guys didn’t like, but that doesn’t justify their cheating behavior. It can’t because no matter how bad you were to them, cheating says bad things about a person.

It says that a person lacked commitment and morals—and that he or she thought the grass was greener on the other side.

Whether it was greener or not, doesn’t matter at all. What matters is that cheating is inexcusable and that people should work on developing their virtues, willpower, and relationship skills before they get into an intimate relationship with a person they like.

In this post, we’ll talk about some possible reasons why guys tend to leave you for someone else. Feel free to pick a reason or two that you can relate to.

1)You were clingy

One of the most common reasons guys break up with their girlfriends is clinginess.

They perceive their girlfriends as needy, demanding, controlling, or possessive and feel that they can’t focus on themselves enough.

They would like to be with their girlfriends and focus on other things as well, but because their girlfriends want more attention than they’re used to/willing to give, they begin to feel overwhelmed.

They feel smothered, impatient, and angry and lose respect for their partners.

If you were clingy around the guys who left you for someone else, you need to understand that guys see clinginess as a sign of weakness. They interpret it as dead weight on the relationship and almost always, lose (some) respect for their girlfriend when their girlfriend needs them more than they need her.

This is because the clingiest person has the least power in the relationship. She has certain expectations of her partner and is somewhat dependent on him for love and recognition.

Look at the picture below to discern if you were a clingy girlfriend.

For a relationship to function as well as possible, the power in a relationship has to be balanced. It doesn’t have to be exactly the same (it never is), but a couple has to want to be with each other about the same.

2)You were stressed, depressed, or anxious

If you don’t have much luck with guys, it’s possible that the guys always left you for someone else because you were too “high maintenance” for them.

High maintenance means that you weren’t easy to please and that you (as guys tend to say), always found something to complain about.

If you were pessimistic, tired, stressed, anxious, and caused arguments for no apparent reason, your exes probably thought you were incredibly hard to work with.

They considered you to be the abuser and themselves victims—so they left you for someone else when they got the opportunity to do so.

Maybe they didn’t actively look for someone to fill your role, but when they came across someone they liked, they fell for that person and left you for her because they thought she wouldn’t be so difficult to deal with.

If you were anxious and needed a lot of pampering because of it, learn more about mental health and improve the way you perceive and react to stressors.

Getting your emotions under control and becoming more accepting of people’s differences will significantly lower your chances of getting dumped for another woman.

3)You were nagging

Another personal quality guys absolutely despise in women is nagging behavior. They hate it so much because they consider themselves to be the leaders – the alphas in the relationships and feel that any sort of nagging behavior is pushing them to act against their will.

That’s why they take nagging very personally (especially the guys with low emotional intelligence and poor relationship skills). Such guys think of persuasive behavior as criticism—and tend to react to it.

If you were nagging (trying to communicate your wants and needs in an unhealthy manner), the men you were with perceived you as a forceful person. They felt you were inconsiderate of their ways of living, so they attached negativity to your persona and left you to protect their egos (masculinity).

4)You expressed yourself in a very emotional manner

Although most guys think they understand women with their logical thinking, the truth is that they don’t. They don’t understand women (at least not emotionally) because they don’t experience emotions the way women do.

They see things the rational/logical way and as a result act that way too.

As a woman who asks herself, “Why do guys always leave me for someone else,” you need to understand that most guys lack gender difference knowledge. They don’t know that women are biologically different from men and that they sometimes express themselves in a highly emotional manner.

Of course, a woman’s biological wiring; the hormones, and the things going on inside a woman’s mind and body can’t justify any emotional outbursts (a lack of self-control).

But it should be taken into consideration that women perceive the world differently and express themselves in a much stronger manner.

Men need to learn this so they don’t expect their girlfriends to be like them.

5)You neglected yourself

If you can’t stop thinking about why guys always leave you for someone else, it’s possible that you’ve put too much time and energy into your ex-boyfriends when you should have invested in yourself and the things that give meaning to your life.

I’m a guy, so trust me that guys want to be with a woman who takes care of herself emotionally, physically, and financially. They don’t want a person who lets herself go and does nothing productive with her life.

I’m sorry to say this, but such a woman drags a guy down. She has no direction in life, which is why she sometimes starts to look for things that bother her about boyfriend and picks fights.

To learn if you neglected yourself in the past, think about the things you did throughout the relationships with your exes. Did you eat healthily, exercise frequently, have a good social life, avoid drugs and alcohol, take care of your looks, hold down a job, have ambitions, and live with purpose?

Give it some thought. Lots of women neglect themselves and lose their boyfriend’s respect because they neglect themselves and live solely for the relationship.

6)You stopped working on the relationship

Space isn’t the only thing a relationship needs to survive and thrive. A relationship also needs two equally committed people to happily invest in it.

If a couple doesn’t water the relationship by going on dates and making plans for the future, a couple can quickly take each other’s good traits for granted and focus on the bad ones. They can fall out of love with each other—and in love with someone new and different.

So figure out if you, your exes, or all of you stopped putting your best foot forward and fell into a routine. You can do this by remembering if the quality of your relationships never came close to how good it was when your relationships first started.

You see, most new couples have a really good start. They have lots of chemistry, love, and passion and feel that they’ve found the one. But after a while, couples naturally stop feeling infatuated with each other, so they stop investing in the relationship—and go with the flow.

That’s when their relationship decreases in quality and happiness and becomes dependent on the skills and traits they’ve shaped prior to getting into a relationship.

For a relationship to be successful, a couple has to continuously work on the relationship. A couple has to be open-minded and fix any issues that arise.

7)You or your exes weren’t ready for a relationship

Let’s face it. Relationships fail because the dumper, the dumpee, or both aren’t ready for a serious relationship. Someone isn’t developed as a person (emotionally prepared, experienced, or knowledgeable about relationships), so the relationship collapses when it faces a challenge too big for its capacity.

Most people blame incompatibilities for the end of their relationship, but the truth is that incompatibilities have nothing to do with a relationship that is established (years old).

Incompatibilities prevent couples from getting together—and not causing them to break up.

And although couples sometimes grow apart after years of being together, this isn’t due to incompatibilities. It’s due to a lack of common goals and communication.

This takes us to the next point.

8)Communication was lacking

You can’t have a fulfilling romantic relationship if the communication in a relationship is average or below average. You can have a short-term relationship (be happy for about half a year while the person is on his best behavior), but when you get to know him and discern he’s an awful communicator, you’ll finally start to comprehend what you got yourself into.

You’ll realize that the person you fell for isn’t a man, but a man-child – an immature person who hadn’t grown up yet.

Such a person is difficult to grow with because no matter what you say or do, he won’t listen to your suggestions. He’ll always find a way to put the blame on you and say things like, “You need to accept me for who I am” and “You need to change, not me.”

Such statements show a lack of responsibility and quite frankly, arrogance.

The only way a person with poor communication skills can grow is with a lot of time (many years) and if he goes through a painful, life-changing predicament.

Most of the time, couples who communicate poorly misinterpret each other. They both want the best for the relationship, but because they lack relationship knowledge and patience, they get upset with each other and put a strain on the relationship.

Here are a few bad communication habits you or your ex-boyfriends may have been guilty of.

• disregarding or invalidating feelings
• defensiveness
• sharp criticism
• stonewalling
• passive-aggressiveness
• sarcasm and mean remarks
• unapproachable body language
• shutting down
• swearing
• expecting mind reading
• expressing thoughts and feelings unclearly

If the communication was unhealthy or lacking in any form, now is probably a good time to read some good personal development books. Learn more about yourself and expand your relationship knowledge so that you can communicate efficiently with the next person you’re with.

9)You were unlucky

Obviously, you can’t control other people’s thoughts, feelings, and actions as every person has a mind of his or her own.

Every person decides whether to stay loyal (in love) or to cheat (break up).

Love isn’t some kind of magic force, controlled by the universe that is either there or not there. People are the ones responsible for maintaining it.

And if they stop doing that (possibly because they meet someone else), there’s nothing you can do about it.

You need to remember that a person who allows himself to fall for someone else does so because that’s what he really wants.

He may not intend to fall for another person before he actually does, but because he isn’t equipped with the right skills to say no to new romantic opportunities, he falls for a new person anyway.

This kind of person does what’s best for him and, of course, doesn’t deserve you.

So don’t think that the guys who left you for someone else did so because you weren’t attractive or deserving of love. It’s the other way around. They are the ones who committed one of the worst sins known to man and branded themselves cheaters for life.

My advice to you is to accept the guys’ cheating and learn if there’s something you can do to be a better romantic partner. Nobody’s perfect, so surely, there must be something you can work on and improve before you give romance another try.

Are you still wondering, “Why do guys always leave me for someone else?” Have you realized your mistakes and your ex-boyfriends’ flaws yet? If you did, post your discoveries, thoughts, and ideas below.

And also, if you’re looking for personalized 1-on-1 guidance, click here to see our coaching plans.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.