Why Did My Ex Unblock Me On Instagram?

Are you wondering why your ex unblocked you on social media?

If you are and you’re having a hard time deciphering your ex’s social media behavior, you’re not alone. Many dumpees struggle to understand why their ex unblocked them after the breakup.

They have high expectations of their ex, so they especially struggle to understand and decode their ex’s behavior when their ex says things like, “I always block my exes” and “I’ll never speak to you again.”

What you need to understand is that dumpers make emotional decisions when emotions run high. They say a bunch of mean things and often regret them after they’ve calmed down. When regret kicks in, they unblock their exes, post confusing things online, talk to their exes, and make it seem as if they never said or did mean things.

They either justify their actions or disassociate themselves from the people they were. If they can’t disassociate themselves, they tend to convince themselves they were forced to protect themselves.

They say things like:

• my ex made me feel pressured
• my ex wouldn’t leave me alone
• my ex didn’t respect me and my feelings
• my ex annoyed me

It’s always “My ex does this, my ex that” and never “I feel this way because…” That’s why they don’t grow much or at all and try to excuse their behavior by blaming their ex for their negative thoughts and feelings. 

I’m telling you this so you understand that dumpers block when they feel emotional and victimized and unblock when they think it’s safe to unblock their ex. This doesn’t mean they want their ex back but that something has changed or subsided.

Something like their anger and understanding of the breakup.

Most dumpees assume that unblocking means their ex wants them back. They don’t understand that unblocking without contact (an initiative) shows no regret and romantic feelings and that their ex won’t come back anytime soon.

Due to a lack of breakup knowledge, dumpees often get their hopes up and reach out to talk to their ex.

More often than not, they suffocate their ex with their high expectation and scare their ex off. They fail to reattract their ex because they chase after their ex before their ex is even ready to converse, let alone get back together.

You must remember that unblocking isn’t an invitation to talk and slowly reconcile. It’s just proof that the dumper has realized that he or she overreacted and that it’s not how he or she wants to leave things.

Unblocking means the dumper regrets blocking rather than breaking up. This is obvious because someone who wants to be with you will contact you and steer the conversation in the desired direction (toward reconciliation).

He or she won’t wait for you to reach out and do all the work. Waiting isn’t something the dumper is fond of. Not when pain and regret constantly remind him that he better get his act together before it’s too late. 

I know that social media can give or destroy reconciliation hope, but try not to overanalyze the things your ex does and doesn’t do. You won’t find anything on social media that will help you in getting back with the person you love.

It will only hinder the get-back-together process and flood you with unnecessary information that makes you anxious.

You’ll do much better if you stop checking up on your ex, let your ex come to you, and wait for him or her to put the necessary work in. Your ex will do that when he or she learns your worth and finds a reason to invest in you.

Don’t think your ex will do it the second he or she unblocks you. I’ve seen hundreds of dumpees unblock their exes after weeks or months of breaking up, and I don’t remember a single one reaching out right after unblocking.

Some reached out days or weeks after whereas others didn’t. 

Why is that?

It’s because the ones who reached out weeks later needed weeks of time to process their negative post-breakup feelings. They focused on themselves and the things that made them happy.

On the other hand, those who didn’t reach out even after weeks or months of unblocking kept thinking negatively of their ex and saw no reason to communicate with their ex.

They unblocked their ex just to avoid thinking of themselves as mean, blocking, and vengeful individuals.

In other words, they unblocked their ex for themselves to ease their conscience. They didn’t care if their ex saw that they unblocked him or her on social media. They probably hoped their ex wouldn’t notice. 

So if you can’t get the question “Why did my ex unblock me on Instagram” out of your head, know that the exact reason why is impossible to know. But what you can deduce from your ex’s behavior is that emotions and morality had something to do with it.

Whether someone convinced your ex to treat you fairly or your ex got treated badly by someone else, your ex decided to reopen communication channels. Once again, it doesn’t mean your ex wanted to communicate, but that your ex wanted to make things right morally.

He or she wanted things to be fair and give you a way to reach out if you needed to (not wanted to). Your ex didn’t want to think of himself or herself as someone who shuts exes out of his or her life completely.

For that reason, many dumpers block their ex only partially (leave their ex unblocked on certain platforms), unfollow their ex, or unblock their ex after a while. How they behave and treat their ex after the breakup depends on their moral values and perception of their ex.

If they despise their ex and aren’t capable of breaking out of this unhealthy cycle, they tend not to unblock their ex. On the contrary, they keep viewing themselves as victims and their ex as the reason for their pain and unhappiness.

In this article, we explain why your ex may have unblocked you on Instagram and what you can do about it.

Why did my ex unblock me on Instagram?

It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what your ex thought and why your ex unblocked you on Instagram. As a dumpee, you don’t have enough insight into your ex’s thought process to know who or what influences your ex’s decisions and actions.

It’s impossible to know from afar (especially when you don’t communicate). But typically, dumpers unblock their ex after some time because they reflect on their post-breakup behavior (not behavior in general) and determine that their ex didn’t deserve the kind of treatment he or she received.

Their ex deserved a kinder response. One that ended things on a good note.

Usually, a kind response is any response that empathizes with the dumpee’s suffering, takes accountability for inconsiderate actions, and encourages the dumpee to detach and boost self-love.

Such a response still hurts (it’s impossible not to hurt a person who loves you), but at least it doesn’t make the dumpee feel unworthy of love and entirely responsible for breaking up and getting blocked.

An empathetic response soothes the dumpee’s anxiety and decreases the dumpee’s self-blame whereas an unempathetic one makes the dumpee feel blamed, unsupported, and alone.

So if you want to know why your ex unblocked you on Instagram, it’s probably because your ex cooled off a bit and realized that leaving you blocked was mean and unnecessary.

You weren’t doing anything rude and desperate that would have prevented your ex from moving on and living happily, so your ex started feeling bad about it, became curious about what you were doing and how you felt, and unblocked you.

Your ex didn’t do this to send you some kind of a hidden message but to make it possible for you to reach out in case of an emergency. If you needed to communicate about shared assets or if someone your ex cared about got ill, your ex would probably be okay with hearing from you and receiving an update.

Your ex wouldn’t be okay though with talking about non-urgent matters such as sports, politics, and you moving out of town. Such things don’t concern an ex who broke up with you to distance himself or herself from you.

Unblocking is a sign that your ex has realized he or she went too far. It’s not a sign your ex is starting to warm up to the idea of being with you.

Yes, some dumpers unblock their ex when they want their ex back. But those dumpers also contact their ex seconds after unblocking their ex. They don’t waste any time because their ex’s absence hurts them and keeps them hungry for validation.

Pride isn’t an issue for dumpers. Even the most stubborn dumpers come back when their levels of regret and anxiety overwhelm them. They may choose indirect ways to show regret as indirect ways could help them avoid feelings of shame, but dumpers nonetheless return when they need to.

They know that their happiness depends on their ability to convince their ex and whether their ex takes them back.

With that said, here’s why your ex unblocked you on Instagram.

Many dumpees get unblocked on Instagram and social platforms at some point after the breakup. Some get unblocked after a week or two whereas others have to wait 2 or 3 months (or longer).

Whether an ex unblocks you often depends on what his or her life is like after the breakup.

If the dumper starts dating again and meets someone extremely insecure, the dumper likely won’t unblock his or her dumpee any time soon. He or she especially won’t do that if the new person knows that the dumpee just left a long-term relationship.

The dumper tends to unblock when he or she:

• needs the dumpee to discuss or do/finish something (the dumper reaches out too)
• has a bad day and misses the good aspects of the relationship
• learns that he or she could have handled the breakup better

What should I do when my ex unblocks me on Instagram?

When your ex unblocks you on Instagram, you shouldn’t do anything yet. You should remember that it’s not your job to reach out and beg for love. Your ex is the one who should do all the work and convince you that breaking up with you was the biggest mistake of his or her life.

By putting in the effort and admitting he or she was wrong to leave you and treat you badly, your ex can give you back your personal power. This needs to happen so that your ex can make some necessary internal changes and allow you to increase the standards in the relationship.

You can’t just continue the old relationship and expect different results. After all, the old relationship failed. You will have to put some healthy rules in place that make your ex respect you and invest in you and the relationship.

That’s required for your ex to respect you and be with you long-term.

If you do all the work and let your ex walk back in as if nothing happened, the relationship likely won’t last very long. It will break when your ex realizes you’ll tolerate anything and do anything just to hold on to the relationship.

You don’t want your ex to think you’re in a relationship strictly for security purposes. You want your ex to think you’re in it to maximize your potential and enhance all areas of your life.

So what should you do when your ex unblocks you on Instagram and other socials? You should do nothing. Nothing sends the message that you’re not checking up on your ex all the time or that you’re not going to reach out if you are.

Your ex mustn’t think that you’re stuck in the past, salivating over reconciliation.

The moment your ex sees you’re spending most of your time thinking about getting back together, your chances of reconciliation will diminish. This is because your ex will lose respect for you as well as his or her sense of urgency to come back before you move on.

I strongly urge you not to give your ex unnecessary attention and power. Don’t do it if you’re hoping for reconciliation.

Instead of empowering your ex and not getting anything valuable in return, show your ex that his or her social media blocking and unblocking doesn’t bother you. The less bothered you appear, the more your ex will want to know what or who is keeping you busy.

So try not to worry about your ex’s unblocking and just keep doing what you always do. You may not feel it, but it’s slowly making you stronger.

Also, if your ex doesn’t like what he or she sees online, bear in mind that your ex could soon block you again. That would show that your ex was curious about you and just wanted to see what you were up to.

No matter what your ex does online, act as if you don’t see it and continue to detach. Don’t give your ex any feedback whatsoever. A big portion of your ex’s interest in you comes from not knowing what you think, feel, and do.

Do you now know why your ex unblocked you on Instagram but hasn’t made a move yet? Post your thoughts in the comments section below.

And if you’d like to discuss your ex’s unblocking privately and in detail, visit our coaching page to sign up for private coaching.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.