When an ex says ” I will always love you,” the dumper doesn’t mean that he or she still loves you romantically and that romantic feeling will never go away. The dumper means that he or she cares about your health and happiness and that he or she regrets causing you pain and making your life difficult.
Your ex wishes there was a better way of breaking things off and walking away from the relationship. Since there wasn’t, your ex now feels bad and wants to comfort you. He or she says things like, “I will always love you, I will always be there for you, I will miss you.”
Words like these indicate that your ex regrets hurting you rather than leaving you. He or she doesn’t like the feeling of being the dumper because it affects his or her conscience and happiness. Your ex would rather not know that the breakup affected you so deeply and that he or she may be selfish and uncaring.
Hence, your ex appears apologetic and says that you’ll always have a special place in his or her heart.
Even when the breakup is months old, your ex wants you to think that he or she still likes you as a person and cares about you. That may be true, but your ex probably won’t love you. If your ex loved you, your ex wouldn’t have broken up with you in the first place.
Your ex would have kept investing time and feelings in you and ensured you felt the same way about him or her and the relationship.
So keep in mind that an ex typically says I will always love you when the dumpee feels hurt and triggers the dumper’s guilt. The dumper doesn’t like feeling like the bad guy, so he or she says nice things that make the dumpee feel loved. Nice words make the dumpee think it may be possible to get back together if he or she handles the breakup properly and waits for the dumper to resolve his or her issues.
Although this could happen, it wouldn’t happen because the dumper is still in love. If the dumper comes back, it would be because he or she recognized the dumper’s worth and redeveloped feelings from scratch.
An ex who says “I will always love you” doesn’t use the right words to express pain and guilt. The dumper uses words that confuse you and make you think he or she still has feelings for you but can’t be with you because of some problem unrelated to you.
Most of the time, this is not the case. The dumper breaks up with the dumpee due to a loss of feelings caused by neglect, a weak relationship mentality, a lack of gratitude, unresolved temptations, cheating, poor relationship skills, and unhealthy perceptions of the dumpee.
Because the dumper loses feelings but feels bad, the dumper throws in hopeful words that make him or her look and feel better.
So if your ex told you that he or she will always love you, take your ex’s words with a pinch of salt. Remember that your ex feels bad for turning your life upside down and that your ex has no way of predicting how he or she will feel months or years into the breakup. All your ex knows is that he or she currently feels emotional and that expressing emotions to you may help you help your ex feel like a decent person.
Your ex’s reasons for consoling you have more to do with your ex than they do with you. Sure, your ex wants you to feel cared for, but your ex also wants you to forgive him or her. Your ex knows that love has run out and that the next best thing to do is minimize your and his or her pain.
Your ex does this by trying to make you feel good (give you false hope) and avoid negative reactions from you. The best way for your ex to stay in control of his or her emotions and prevent you from blaming him or her is to tell you what you want to hear rather than need to hear.
You need to hear that the relationship has ended for good but want to hear that it had nothing to do with you and that you’re an amazing person. This would make you think your ex might come back in the future and give you hope.
It’s important not to take your ex’s sweet comments too literally. Remember that your ex has his or her own reasons for being kind to you and that you mustn’t assume your ex is waiting for circumstances to change and leaving the door open. If you convince yourself your ex is open to reconciliation and that the breakup happened due to factors outside of your ex’s control, you’ll dedicate your post-breakup life to trying to impress your ex and getting back together.
You’ll refuse to let go of hope and move on and think your ex is the only person who can help you love yourself and feel better.
Although your ex is very important to you, he or she is even more important now that your ex rejected you, destroyed your self-esteem, and hurt you immensely. Your ex can instantly patch your wounds just by taking you back. The only problem is that your ex doesn’t want that. Your ex is going through the empowering breakup stages and needs time to focus on himself or herself.
You’ll have to let your ex get some space from you and find a way to feel better without your ex’s empowering comments. You’ll have to do that by setting some healthy boundaries and ceasing communication. You can talk about kids and things that tie you to each other, but other than that, you need a break from each other.
That’s how you can recover and figure out your next steps.
In this post, we discuss what it means when an ex says I will always love you.
What does it mean when an ex says “I will always love you?”
When an ex says “I will always love you,” it’s clear that the dumper doesn’t want to hurt you. He or she wants to avoid hurting you as much as possible and assuage his or her guilty conscience. The two main reasons behind your ex’s profession of love are guilt and pain avoidance.
Your ex’s goal is to give you something positive to hold on to. Something that makes you feel important and prevents you from acting on pain and making your ex’s life difficult.
So try not to get your hopes up too much about your ex. Instead of thinking that your ex truly loves you, consider your ex’s use of the word ‘love’ as a poor choice of words. Think of it more as a synonym for ‘like.’
Dumpers often tell their exes they love them when in reality, they merely care about their health and well-being. Sometimes they also struggle with depression and low self-esteem, so they project their unhappiness and pain onto their ex. They say things meant for couples just to express how hard the breakup has been on them. Expressing pain makes their ex go easy on them and allows them to focus on things they want to focus on.
Don’t assume that “I will always love you” has anything to do with actual love. Since your ex has fallen out of love, it’s safer for you to think of it as your ex’s way of caring about you and him/her not wanting to suffer. If your ex had feelings, your ex wouldn’t have left or would have apologized and asked for another chance shortly after leaving you.
He or she wouldn’t stay away from you and live with regrets.
So if you want to know what it means when an ex says “I will always love you,” know that it doesn’t mean anything important. All it means is that your ex doesn’t resent you and that your ex still cares enough to let you know that. This may be due to guilt or a desire for friendship.
If your ex wants to be your friend, your ex will offer support and expect nothing in return. But if your ex wants to relieve guilt or get something from you, your ex will soon disappear from your life. Your ex won’t stick around for long if you don’t have what your ex wants.
Always remember that an ex will say or do nice things when your ex has something to gain. Whether it’s forgiveness, friendship, support, validation, or commitment, your ex will directly or indirectly want to obtain it from you. Your ex will say things that maximize his or her chances of getting what he or she needs.
Whether your ex understands what he or she is doing to you emotionally is anyone’s guess. But it’s clear that your ex considers it appropriate breakup behavior.
With that said, here’s why your ex says he or she will always love you.
Don’t let your ex keep giving you hope
When an ex says he/she will always love you, you shouldn’t stay close to your ex and invite your ex to keep telling you how important you are to him or her. If you were as important as your ex made it seem, your ex wouldn’t have craved space and dumped you. Your ex would have done everything in his or her power to secure a spot in a relationship with you and regain your trust.
You should think of your ex’s words as a parting gift; one you didn’t ask for. Consider it your ex’s way of saying that he or she will always remember you and care about you as a friend.
Since your ex only sees you as a friend and wants what’s best for him or her, you shouldn’t let your ex keep giving you hope and messing with your healing. You’re not a couple anymore, so the only reasonable thing to do is get some space.
Go no contact and show you won’t tolerate breadcrumbs and feel unwanted emotions. As a dumpee, you must understand that your ex has his or her own reasons for saying and doing things. Those reasons don’t concern you. Not until your ex has realized your importance and redeveloped feelings.
When your ex regrets leaving, your ex will do much more than tell you he or she will always love you. Instead of talking about how he or she will feel about you in the future, your ex will tell you how he or she feels in the present moment. Your ex’s feelings and actions will prove that your ex regrets leaving and wants you back immediately.
So ignore your ex’s ‘Always’ promises and look at the situation objectively. You’ll see that your ex has no intention of reconnecting with you romantically and that your ex probably just wants to come across as a caring individual. This may be to get rid of guilt and/or avoid hurting you and getting hurt in return.
What your ex wants now that the relationship has ended doesn’t matter. All that matters is what you want and need to heal and get your happy self back. And what you need is to keep your ex at a safe distance and avoid hearing things that imply your ex still loves you and always will. That way, you’ll be your own priority and guarantee the quickest and healthiest recovery.
Did your ex tell you he or she still loved you? Why do you think your ex did that? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
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My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
