When A Guy Says He’s Tired Of You

When a guy says he’s tired of you, it means he feels emotionally drained by your attitude, expectations, personality, and presence and thinks the only way to be happy is to keep his distance from you. By staying away from you, he can focus on things that make him comfortable and boost his energy levels.

The statement “I’m tired of you” indicates that he’s in a lot of pain and that he doesn’t see an effective way to communicate his thoughts and feelings. He tried to talk about them before, but because it didn’t work, he convinced himself it would never work and that the best way to deal with it is to tell you what he thinks of you and get some space.

In a relationship, a guy who says he’s tired of you wants you to stop talking or arguing about the same things over and over again. Certain topics exhaust him mentally and emotionally and make him angry and bitter.

He wants to avoid experiencing the same problems and emotions, so he criticizes your attitude and behavior.

In a breakup though, a man who is tired of you has no more love for you and desire for you to change. He’s using his tiredness as an excuse to express his frustration and disappointment and isn’t afraid to share his opinion of you.

Because he has nothing left to lose, he blames you for making him feel hurt and angry and expects you to take full responsibility. That would justify his pain, lack of feelings, and the way he dumped you and treated you.

You probably already know that “I’m tired of you” is an offensive statement. It’s a line people use to punish their partner or ex for making them feel a certain way. The only difference between a partner and an ex saying it is that a partner still has (some) hope for his or her partner to make internal changes and stop doing whatever he or she is doing.

When a guy says he’s tired of you, you need to understand that he’s very unhappy about something. It could be your way of expressing stress or problems, your behavior toward him or others, or the things you expect from him.

He doesn’t like something about you because it’s hurting him and telling him to do something about the issue that has been around for a while. He wouldn’t tell you he’s tired of you if something bothered him just once.

The guy clearly associates pain with certain behaviors of yours. Whether it’s nagging, oversharing, overdemanding, expressing strong emotions, or something else, he thinks the relationship is not as easy as it should be and that he’s not getting enough out of it.

He’s tired because the effort he puts into the relationship and the suffering he has to go through outweigh the positives. In his mind, he’s tired of giving so much and receiving so little.

You may be cooking and cleaning, paying his bills, being a good partner, and doing everything for him, but he doesn’t appreciate those things or care about them as much as you do.

He puts a bigger priority on your personality and behavior and the things he doesn’t get from you.

You should take him seriously because it’s evident that he feels frustrated and angry and that he’s nearing the end of his rope. When he completely runs out of patience, he could explode, leave, and hurt you.

If he’s already left, there’s no changing his mind. The guy is set on leaving and will keep his distance for as long as he can. He’ll come back only if he fails to find happiness without you and realizes he overfocused on your negative points and ignored the good ones.

If he said he was tired of you, he meant that he was tired of you saying or doing something. It’d be nice if he told you what specifically he was tired of so you could address those issues and have better relationships in the future. 

Self-improvement probably won’t make your ex regret losing you and want you back, but it will help you make some positive changes that benefit you in the long run.

In this post, we discuss what it means when a guy says he’s tired of you. We focus on guys getting tired of their partner in a relationship and after the breakup.

When a guy says he’s tired or tired of you

When a guy you’re with says he’s tired or too tired to do something with you, he’s usually stressed or tired and doesn’t feel like doing anything that requires energy. He needs to rest up and recharge his batteries before he can give you time and attention. 

While he’s resting, he expects you to understand his reasons for needing some downtime. He expects you to let him watch TV, play games, or even hang out with his friends. That’s how he can distract himself from stressors and unwind.

He doesn’t necessarily need to sleep. Not everyone sleeps when they’re tired. Many people engage in fun, relaxing hobbies and activities.

Sadly, this can be confusing as some guys say they’re tired just to hide the real reasons for not spending time with their partner. Some guys lose feelings and say they’re tired so they can gain sympathy from their partner.

They don’t want to admit they cheated, that they’re seeing someone else, or that they want to break up. That’s why they make an excuse for their mistakes or behavior and try to get their partner off their back.

In a relationship, “I’m tired” can be taken literally or seen as an excuse whereas in a breakup, it means that the dumper has detached due to stress, overwhelm, or depression. However, if you add “of you” at the end of the line, it makes the statement much more personal.

It shows that a person associates negative beliefs with you and that things aren’t looking good. Something needs to change so that your partner or ex-partner can stop thinking negatively of you.

If you’re still together, you need to talk about your problems and find a way to perceive each other positively.

And if you broke up, something or someone unrelated to you needs to influence your ex and change his opinion of you. This can be a new romantic failure or some other negative event that causes reflection and growth. Most of the time, something painful and shocking needs to occur.

Something that forces the dumper to remember you and want you back.

Anyway, when a guy says he’s tired, figure out why he’s tired. Is he stressed at work, does he have a lot of bills to pay, is his ex-wife preventing him from seeing his children? Every person has different stressors and ways of dealing with those stressors.

You need to be understanding of his problems so he can deal with his problems in ways he chooses to. Guys don’t expect women to solve their problems for them.

They expect their support, patience, and love in a non-demanding way. I say non-demanding because they often get overwhelmed with problems and can’t think about anything other than their problems.

They’re problem-solvers and feel that they can’t focus on other things until their problems are gone. If their partner argues with them and expects too much attention and time, they may say that they’re tired or tired of their partner.

This is how they express that they’re stressed about their problems and the additional stressors their partner has created. Avoidant guys more often than not feel emotionally burnt out. So much so that they push their partners away and say they need more time to themselves.

They expect commitment but treat their relationship like they’re single. Eventually (as their partner’s expectations and unhappiness increase), they feel that they lost their independence and that they must do something about it.

At first, they get some distance or ask for space. But if that doesn’t help (which it usually doesn’t), they tell their partner they’re not happy, that they’re tired, that they want to be alone more, or that they can’t handle him or her.

That’s when the relationship enters the last phase and fails if nothing changes.

Anyway, if you’re in a relationship and a guy tells you he’s tired, he’s probably just tired. He had a bad or a long day and needs your support more than ever. Hug him, cook for him, ask him what he wants, encourage him to see a doctor, and let him rest in any preferred way (even if it’s not with you). 

You shouldn’t be selfish when he needs to focus on himself and do something to help himself not be tired. If you support him in ways he wants to be supported, he’ll recover and have more energy and time to spare with you.

On the other hand, if you’re no longer in a relationship with your ex after he told you he was tired of you, then he probably meant to say he was tired of your behavior. He lost his patience and wanted you to know he blames you for the end of the relationship.

If he blames you for the end, you shouldn’t fight him and tell him he’s equally responsible for the breakup. If you try to make him see things your way, he’ll get defensive and blame you even more. He’ll find you less attractive and have fewer doubts about leaving you.

When a guy suddenly says he’s tired of you, it’s best to walk away with your head held high. Don’t accuse him of cheating and using you. Simply acknowledge that he lost the will to invest in the relationship and that you no longer share the same goals.

You don’t have to lose all hope at once and be over him on day one. But you must understand that he’s tired of you because he associates negative beliefs and feelings with your persona.

He failed to deal with negative thoughts and feelings successfully, so he changed you into a person who couldn’t or wouldn’t be the person he wanted you to be.

It’s easier for him to blame you for not reaching his expectations than it is to admit he has things to work on and a relationship to save. When anger and resentment build up, most people project their frustration onto their partner or ex-partner and refuse to make any changes.

Dumpers are notorious for not growing. Instead of improving themselves, they ruin their ex’s self-esteem and make their ex feel entirely responsible for the breakup. This makes dumpees work on their flaws and strive to be more attractive individuals.

So if you’re wondering what to do when a guy says he’s tired of you, this depends on whether you’re still together or not.

If you’re a couple, ask him why he feels tired of you and if you can do anything to make him not feel that way. When you’ve done your best to help and he feels better, tell him you’d appreciate it if next time he could avoid saying he’s tired of you and instead find better ways to express discontent.

Say that it makes you feel sad and that you’d like him to be mindful of your feelings.

However, if he told you he was tired of you when he left you, then the guy is probably done with you and doesn’t want to hear any apologies. He thinks of himself as a victim and won’t listen to you even if you try to make it up to him with gifts and letters.

When a guy loses feelings and says he’s tired of you, all you can do is accept the breakup and start no contact. You can’t change his mind because he believes the relationship is unfixable and that he doesn’t want to put any more time and effort into it.

The sooner you stop talking to a guy who’s tired of you and the relationship, the quicker you’ll heal and the stronger and more attractive you’ll appear.

What do you think it means when a guy says he’s tired of you? Post your thoughts and experiences below the post.

And if you’re looking for relationship or breakup help, check out our coaching services here. 

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.