Text Messages To Win Your Ex Back Don’t Exist

If you’re searching for the perfect text messages to win your ex back, you need to understand that such messages don’t exist. There is no text message that could magically solve your ex’s problems, resentment, fear of commitment, depression, or loss of feelings. Real breakups can’t be undone that easily. You can’t prevent your ex from walking away with text messages because you’re not in a position to reason with your ex’s determined mind and change your ex’s premeditated decision.

Nice words, apologies, begging, and compliments can’t encourage your ex to not move on and feel something he or she doesn’t feel and want to feel. I wish I could be more optimistic and say that a bunch of texts, calls, or voicemails could convince your ex that he or she has made a huge mistake, but I can’t. I know that when an ex has disconnected emotionally, changed his or her opinion of you, and put up a wall, nothing you say or do will dissuade the dumper from wanting to stay broken up.

Winning an ex back is something we see in the movies. Usually, the guy runs after the girl with a bouquet in his hands and an apology—and wins the girl back with accountability. She takes him back, thinking he’s a gentleman who must really love her and regret what he did.

In the real world, though, dumpers aren’t that naive, open-minded, and forgiving. They find post-breakup chasing disrespectful and repulsive and treat their ex like he or she doesn’t exist. Real-life dumpers are convinced that the relationship wasn’t working and what they expected and that they could be much happier without their ex.

Due to such beliefs, they become resistant to reasoning and ex-back strategies devised by their brokenhearted ex. They can’t even imagine getting back with someone who failed them, hurt them, and/or wasn’t compatible with them. They’d rather be all alone than get back together and be forced to invest in someone they don’t vibe/get along with.

Dumpers have power and feel in control of the breakup. If dumpees try to take their power, control, and peace from them by suggesting to reconcile, they usually get smothered and irritated and do something their ex didn’t expect.

Something that wounds them badly.

Keep in mind that text messages to win an ex back don’t exist. There is no such thing as winning back someone who dumped you. Not unless the dumper specifically told you to improve certain things, such as your behavior, communication, addictions, or goals, and told you he or she would wait for you. If your ex said you need to grow and become worthy of his or her trust and love, you might be able to get back together if you improve the parts of your life that need improving.

But if your ex never mentioned anything about giving you a chance to prove your worth, then your ex is not waiting for you. Your ex is done with the relationship (at least for now) and needs you to accept his or her decision and lack of feelings. By accepting the end of the relationship, you will respect the dumper’s emotional disconnection and look confident and attractive because of it.

It’s important to present yourself as a positive, strong, and self-loving individual. Your ex will think way better of you if you let him or her go when the breakup happens. This is because you won’t pester your ex with your feelings, pain, and problems and expect your ex to do what you want.

Always remember that your ex doesn’t want to be won back. Your ex wants to keep his or her distance and live life on his or her terms. The more space your ex has, the quicker your ex will process the breakup and experience life (hopefully difficulties) without you. If things don’t go according to plan and your ex can’t deal with problems properly, your ex could think about his or her happiness and decision to leave and come back of his or her own accord.

Your ex could return your stolen power and invest in you because he or she thinks it’s best for him/her.

Don’t waste your time texting your ex and winning your ex’s love back. Your ex won’t come back as long as you’re taking the initiative, chasing validation, projecting low self-esteem onto your ex, and neglecting yourself. Low confidence traits will tell your ex that you’re unhappy on your own and that you require more time and energy than your ex is willing to give.

So give up on sending your ex texts that are supposed to win your ex back. Instead of communicating with your ex and showing your ex how important he or she is to you, do the opposite. Stay in no contact and let the power of silence do the work. Silence will show that you value yourself more than your relationship with your ex and that you deserve more than your ex can offer.

Self-confidence and emotional strength are crucial and will have a much stronger effect on your ex than text messages aimed directly at your ex. They’ll prove you don’t need your ex to move on and feel fulfilled in life.

This post is dedicated to dumpees who consider sending text messages to win their ex back.

Why you shouldn’t send text messages to an ex?

There are many text-your-ex-back scams on the internet. Many internet gurus claim that their pre-made texts will soften your ex up and eventually bring him or her back. This is, of course, a lie – an attempt to give you hope and get you to purchase their services.

You must remember that your ex broke up with you because he or she didn’t love you and want to be around you. If you refuse to give your ex space and send text messages that compel your ex to provide you with attention and love, you’ll smother your ex and push your ex away. Your eagerness or desperation to reconcile will make your ex feel so uncomfortable that your ex will get angry and/or lose remaining respect for you.

That will significantly lower your chance of reconciliation, destroy your reconciliation hope, and affect your self-esteem.

I know it’s hard, but you have to understand that you lack the power to change your ex’s perception of you. You’re a dumpee, and you can’t just send your ex a few texts and watch your ex running back to you. Reconciliations don’t work that way because your ex is certain you are who he or she thinks you are. If you try to tell your ex that he or she is wrong, your ex will feel disrespected and might punish you for throwing your dignity away and ignoring his or her feelings.

If text messages to win your ex back existed, most dumpees would use them. They’d send a bunch of texts created by breakup experts and get their ex back no matter why they broke up. They wouldn’t have to accept the breakup, stop interacting with their ex, let go of hope, improve their self-esteem, and get over their ex.

Unfortunately, that’s exactly what dumpees have to do. They have to be strong and do the opposite of what their heart tells them to do. Their heart (meaning their emotions) tell them to take action and prevent their ex from moving on, but that’s not very good advice. Good advice consists of accepting their powerlessness, working on themselves, and letting their ex come to them.

If their ex contacts them and asks to get back together, they can start a new relationship on their terms, raise relationship standards, and ensure mutual investment.

Sending your ex text messages won’t regain lost feelings and respect because it will show you’re the one who needs something from your ex. It will put you in the position of a beggar and demand reassurance, commitment, love, and support from your ex. The moment your ex sees you crave him or her romantically and need him or her to be happy, it’s over.

Your ex’s respect, curiosity, and nostalgia will plummet and force your ex to be on his or her guard.

So don’t send text messages to win your ex back. Don’t show up unannounced at your ex’s house and do stupid things that annoy your ex and hurt you. Instead, put yourself in your ex’s shoes and ask yourself what would make you respect an ex you lost feelings (and possibly respect) for. It shouldn’t take long to realize that it’d take a big failure and a powerful lesson to change how you think and feel about your ex.

It would probably require you to experience a drop in self-esteem and get hurt to the point where you need your ex’s help. Your ex would have to help you with low self-esteem and personal problems you lack the skills and will to resolve (on your own).

Don’t think that dumpers need to see you grow and improve in order to come back. Dumpers stop caring about their ex’s growth after the breakup and need to experience something painful and difficult. When they do, they compare their ex to their current life and become nostalgic and regretful.

Text messages from an ex only irritate and empower them and make them see that leaving their ex was the right thing to do.

With that said, here’s why text messages to win your ex back don’t exist and why you shouldn’t text your ex anything.

The best plan to get your ex back

Before you act on pain and try to win your ex back with nice gestures, take a moment to learn what a breakup is and what your ex expects from you. Figure out if your ex wants to be persuaded and talked to as if he or she didn’t give up on you and dump you.

Is it fair to your ex to talk about the past and good for you to give your ex the power to reject and hurt you?

Upon reflection, you should realize that your ex isn’t asking for communication and another chance. You’re the one trying to talk and fix things on your own. That means you’re unhappy and trying to change your ex’s mind on your terms.

You’re making a huge mistake. Not only are you thinking of giving your ex all your power, but you’re also trying to convince your ex that he or she has made the wrong decision. When you tell your ex that he or she is wrong and you’re right, your ex will feel unlistened to and tempted to push you away by force.

Maybe you don’t intend to directly ask your ex for love and another chance, but your body and tone will demonstrate that you do. They’ll show that you have unmet needs and expectations and that you’re reaching out to undo the breakup and feel secure.

Most dumpers don’t want to talk after the breakup, let alone feel pressured to give their ex another chance. If they feel emotions they’re trying to avoid, they get overwhelmed and lose their cool. Oftentimes, they impatiently tell their ex they don’t want to get back together and to leave them alone.

I can’t predict what your ex will do if you send him or her texts that intend to change your ex’s mind, but I can tell you that it won’t help you get back with your ex. It will make reconciliation much more difficult and make you more sad, anxious, and/or depressed.

Instead of pestering your ex with texts and calls, start no contact (or stay in it). Show your ex you respect yourself and his or her decisions and feelings. Your ex won’t immediately come back because of it, but your ex might come back in the future if things don’t go the way your ex expects them to and needs help dealing with some unwanted situation or feeling.

You need to remain emotionally independent and strong until your ex gets in trouble and needs you. If you’re weak and codependent, your ex won’t consider you someone who can guide, support, enable, and validate him or her. Your ex will think of you as an ex who won’t accept the breakup and go away.

So change your ex-back strategy from texting your ex and pretending to be someone you’re not to leaving your ex alone and focusing on healing, growing, and enjoying your life. You’ll have the highest chances of success (reconciliation) when you’re happy and don’t need your ex or any other person to give your life meaning.

Always remember that your ex needs to text you (not vice versa). Your ex needs to put the work in so that he or she can invest in you as much as you invested in him or her. Your ex doesn’t want, nor need you to do anything right now. You’ve done enough when you were together. Now it’s time to live your lives separately and learn from your mistakes.

If your ex fails to find happiness without you, your ex could return to you, provided you were a decent partner and a strong and confident ex-partner.

Are you still contemplating sending text messages to win your ex back? What kind of texts are you planning on sending? Share them with us in the comments section below and we’ll get back to you.

And if you need help analyzing your breakup and devising a proper ex-back strategy, get in touch with us via our coaching programs. We’ll answer your questions, create a custom-tailored ex-back plan, and help you feel better.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.