My Ex’s New Girlfriend Is Texting Me 🤳

If your ex’s new girlfriend is texting you and you don’t know what to do, you need to understand that the girl is jealous of you. She’s operating out of fear and anxiety and most likely wants you to stop talking to your ex.

If you aren’t talking to your ex, then she probably just wants to warn you to stay away from him in case you ever feel like reaching out. This likely has something to do with her past relationship/s as she’s probably been betrayed in the past.

One of her boyfriends probably cheated on her (possibly with an ex) and caused her to have trust issues.

Of course, her cheating ex isn’t solely to blame for the way she turned out as she’s responsible for her own mental and emotional health. But despite all that, the guy still changed how comfortable she feels in relationships today. Because of some traumatic experience, she now wants to protect herself by staying one step ahead of her new boyfriend.

A woman like this is hyperconscious of cheating and has a very difficult time trusting people. She had to adapt to the cruel reality and now needs a lot of love and reassurance from her boyfriend before she’s able to lower her guard and trust again. She may even need therapy.

So don’t expect your ex’s new girlfriend to trust you completely just yet. Due to her difficult past and her coping mechanism, she isn’t capable of taking that risk right now. She won’t be able to trust you or anyone else until she heals her emotional wounds and becomes vulnerable around others again.

In this post, we’ll talk about what to do if your ex’s new girlfriend is texting you.

My ex’s new girlfriend is texting me

If you’re wondering why your ex’s new girlfriend is texting you, it’s probably because your ex talks about you every now and then. He mentions some of your good traits, talks about good memories, and possibly even compares you to her when they argue.

Because she has trust issues, your ex’s reminiscence of his past opens up her old wounds and triggers her insecurities. It makes her feel inferior to you. So much so that she does the most impulsive thing she can think of.

She gets your phone number or social media and texts you to stay away from her boyfriend.

She does this for three reasons.

1. To lower her anxiety.
2. To get more attention from her boyfriend.
3. And to push you away and secure her position in the relationship.

To her, relationships are battles she must fight for. She previously “lost” to other girls, so she wants to make sure that history doesn’t repeat itself.

What this woman doesn’t know though is that her controlling, insecure behavior is manifesting exactly what she doesn’t want. By telling her boyfriend that he can’t do this and that, she’s telling him that she lacks faith in her own abilities and that for her to be happy, she must control his boyfriend.

In order for her not to manifest unwanted results, however, she must strive hard to improve her self-esteem, get rid of anxiety, and meet a guy who’s patient and understanding of why she behaves so impetuously.

Any guy who’s been with a controlling girlfriend before will tell you that if there’s one thing guys hate, it’s controlling, jealous behavior. They hate it so much, they furiously fight for their rights, lose respect for their girlfriend, and oftentimes gravitate toward a person who gives them less attention and more trust.

That’s why extremely insecure women often get cheated on or dumped. Guys just don’t tolerate behavior that tells them what they can or can’t do. They prefer to be in charge of their own lives so they can make their own choices.

So if your ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend is texting you, bear in mind that she’s trying to regain control over her unwanted emotions by pushing you away. She wants to make her boyfriend forget about you and have him focus more on her.

What to do if my ex’s new girlfriend is texting me?

It’s your ex’s job to ask you to stop talking to him. But if his girlfriend is doing that instead, then it’s probably safe to assume that she asked your ex before but he refused to do anything about it. Now she thinks she must tell you to stop texting your ex herself because she can’t convince the guy to respect her.

The best way to respond to this person is to sympathize with her and give their relationship room to grow. Simply apologize for staying in touch with your ex and tell her you’re going to do what’s needed of you.

Tell her you’ll:

1. Send your ex one last message with which you’ll ask him not to reach out anymore.
2. Respect her relationship and not reach out unless it’s something very urgent. Something like kids or signing divorce papers.

Once you’ve laid out the plan, his girlfriend will most likely feel at ease and become more optimistic that her relationship can work out. Her boyfriend, on the other hand, probably won’t be that optimistic. He’ll probably think that his girlfriend went behind his back and get in an argument about it.

Whatever happens because of this predicament is out of your control and not your concern anymore. If they argue because he didn’t listen to her before, then so be it. At least now he won’t have a choice but to stop talking to you.

Perhaps this isn’t the ideal way to resolve differences in a relationship, but honestly, this isn’t just any difference. It’s a big disagreement that makes a woman feel insignificant and disrespected.

I know it can seem a bit strange to receive a text from your ex’s girlfriend, but don’t think of the text as a threat. Think of it as a plea for help and put yourself in her shoes. Ask yourself, “What would I do if my boyfriend kept talking to his ex-girlfriend?”

Maybe you wouldn’t reach out to the girl yourself and accuse her of stealing your boyfriend, but you’d probably want him to take you seriously and show you that he’s focused on the present, not on the past. Your ex’s girlfriend wants her boyfriend to take him seriously too. But because he doesn’t give her the security she deserves, she had no choice but to get involved and soothe her crushing anxiety by asking you to stop talking to her boyfriend.

To recap, here are a few things to do when your ex’s girlfriend texts you.

My ex’s new girlfriend is harassing me

From what I see, women tend to message their partner’s ex a lot more than men. I think it’s because women have a harder time trusting their partners. They must feel that their boyfriends don’t care about them when they’re hurt and anxious, so they contact their partner’s ex on their own and try to make themselves feel better.

Most of the time, women wouldn’t have to do that if guys just listened to them and took them seriously.

But sometimes, anxious women don’t just message their boyfriend’s ex and compassionately ask for understanding. Sometimes they feel so disrespected and hurt that they lose control over their emotions and message their boyfriend’s ex in a very angry manner.

They shout, command, demand, threaten, and do the most self-destructive things you can think of. Such women aren’t concerned about making a good impression. They don’t care if they appear more mature or less mature than their boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend either. All they want is for their partner to cut off the people from the past and focus entirely on them.

Doing so would assure them that they’re the only person their boyfriend talks to, thinks about, and values.

In reality, though, their boyfriend doesn’t think very highly of such impulsive behavior. He actually finds it very selfish, inconsiderate, and extremely disrespectful because he isn’t getting the trust he expects. What men with self-respect require is to be with a woman who can trust them completely. They don’t want their girlfriend to accuse them of cheating and tell them they can’t talk to an ex.

Most guys’ favorite (although overused) line is “You need to trust me.” They want their girlfriend to “stop complaining,” so they demand that their girlfriend trusts them and lets them live their life the way they want to live it.

Such guys want to look and feel masculine. And they can’t do that if their girlfriend is in charge of them, telling them what to do.

Angry women who go so far as to massage their boyfriend’s ex may be controlling and angry, but there’s a good explanation for their behavior. That explanation is that they lack self-awareness and self-control and haven’t learned to trust men.

They don understand that they shouldn’t be merely reacting to jealousy by taking it out on their partner’s ex. They should be solving their trust issues with their partner and leaving third parties who have nothing to do with the relationship out of it.

So what do you do when your ex’s new girlfriend harasses you?

For starters, you don’t behave as poorly as her. A negative reaction would cause her to get even angrier and force her to sstart a war. That’s why you should just thank her for informing you about her feelings and wish her well.

Try to sound sincere about it because if she detects sarcasm, she’ll probably get infuriated.

If being nice doesn’t work, though, then consider blocking her and your ex. Cut all forms of communication with them and make it impossible for them to make their problem your problem.

Is your ex’s new girlfriend texting you or calling you? Is she demanding that you stop talking to your ex? Post your story in the comments section below.

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Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.