If your ex disappeared from social media and you’re looking for reasons behind your ex’s actions, you need to understand that your ex stopped using social networks because your ex got tired of constant reminders of the past.
Your ex couldn’t take them anymore, so your ex decided to get off social media and started anew.
Had your ex not pulled a Houdini on you, your ex would most likely have continued to feel uncomfortable and would probably grow his or her uncomfortable, breakup feelings to the point of resentment.
That would put your ex at risk of reaching a breaking point and doing something impulsive. Something like blocking, unfollowing, or deleting you.
So in a way, it’s good that your ex got silent on social media. At least your ex didn’t take out his or her frustrations on you and hurt you.
We could say that your ex was aware of his/her emotions and that your ex stopped using social media to avoid dealing with the negative feelings caused by the breakup.
Your ex basically wanted a new beginning – a restart. And the only way your ex could get it was by getting off social media for a while.
In this post, we’ll answer the question, “What does it mean if my ex disappeared from social media?”
My ex disappeared from social media
While dumpees get off social media to stop themselves from obsessing about their ex’s social media behavior, dumpers tend to stop logging on for slightly different reasons.
Dumpers lack the patience to focus on anything other than their newfound freedom, so typically, they disconnect to stop being reminded of the life they had prior to the breakup.
How they behave after the breakup generally depends on their personality.
If they think that deleting or blocking their ex-partner and their ex-partner’s friends and family is rude, they normally don’t resort to such methods. Instead, they try to remain on good terms with people and look for an alternative, drama-free route.
That route usually involves pulling the plug on social media—which essentially achieves the same results as blocking, unfollowing, and deleting. The only difference is that disappearing from social media after the breakup doesn’t hurt anyone in the process.
So if your ex disappeared from social media and you’re wondering why your ex did that, make sure not to jump to conclusions and immediately think that you forced your ex to run away.
Even if you posted a few pictures too many and irritatingly reminded your ex that you’re still around, it was still your ex who felt smothered by your presence.
It was your ex who couldn’t handle the pressure and thought that the only way to be happy was to vanish into thin air.
So don’t think that you should have done something differently because of the way your ex reacted. Instead, keep in mind that your ex felt smothered by your aura and that your ex didn’t know any other ways to deal with unpleasant reminders of the past.
I say “unpleasant” because the breakup made your ex forget the good times and forced your ex to focus on the bad.
With that said, the image below explains why your ex disappeared from social media.
What do I do if my ex disappeared from social media?
If you’re wondering, “What to do if my ex disappeared from social media,” the truth is that there isn’t much to do. Your ex had made a decision to leave the past behind, which is why any attempt to bring the past into the present is only going to make things worse.
It’s going to remind your ex of you, smother your ex, and ultimately, make it extremely difficult for your ex to be on good terms with you.
So don’t try to get closer to your ex by force or you’ll interfere with your ex’s search for happiness.
Let your ex’s social media disappearance serve you as a reminder that your ex wants to be left alone and that you must respect your ex’s decision as hard as it may be.
I know this doesn’t make you feel good (especially if you want your ex back), but as Michael Lewis, an American author said, “There’s something bad in everything good and something good in everything bad.”
At least you won’t see your ex publish happy pictures on social media and constantly compare yourself to the people your ex dates and hangs out with.
You won’t analyze your ex’s social media behavior like a crazy person either—and because of it get over the breakup much faster than those who endlessly scroll through their ex’s pictures and track their ex’s every move.
Don’t get me wrong. Healing will still take time even if you don’t keep tabs on your ex. But that time frame will be significantly shorter and much easier to deal with than if you were to stalk your ex incessantly and suffer strong emotional setbacks every time your ex posted something you weren’t hoping to find.
So consider yourself lucky. Many dumpees would bend over backwards just to break their obsession and stop checking up on their ex.
Your ex will probably get back on social media
Even though your ex disappeared from social media and appears to be gone forever, rest assured that your ex will probably start using social media again.
It may not happen in the next month or so, but eventually, your ex will deal with the overwhelming need for space and freedom and forget why he or she deactivated Facebook, Instagram, or any other social media account.
Your ex will return to his or her usual self, get back online, and pretty much continue to use social media the way he or she used to in the past.
How can I be so sure?
It’s because people are creatures of habit, routine, and temptation. When they’re used to logging into Facebook several times a day, they do so routinely. They don’t even give it much thought because using social media supplies their brains with happy hormones and makes them feel good.
The same goes for your ex. Your ex routinely used social media in the past but only stopped using it recently when he or she got distracted with new post-breakup distractions.
Those distractions may take some time before they stop being entertaining, but eventually, they’ll get old, cause your ex to return to his/her old self, and tempt your ex to check social media.
At first, your ex will log on once a day. A week after, twice. And before your ex knows it, he or she will be back to using social media on a regular basis.
For your ex to break this pattern, your ex would need to acknowledge that he or she is addicted, make a conscious effort to stop using social media, and lastly, refuse to give in to temptations that occur along the way.
Social media developers are well aware of this. They know that many users change their minds about deleting their accounts—and come back weeks or months later. This is why they only temporarily delete (disable) their accounts and give them a few months to log back online before they permanently delete their information from their servers.
One thing you need to ask yourself right now is why does this information matter to you.
Does it reassure you that your ex will continue to provide you with updates on his/her life? Does it satisfy your obsession and by doing so, ease your anxiety?
Whatever the reason for learning more about your ex’s social media behavior is, know that it’s okay. You’re still dependent on your ex for happiness and self-esteem—and see your ex as a person who can help you heal your broken heart.
Social media makes breakups hard
If your ex disappeared from social media and confused you in the process, your ex has actually done you a huge favor. You may not see it that way because you’re hurt and in the dark about your ex, but that’s exactly why you’re at an advantage.
In terms of healing and getting over your ex, nothing and no one will shorten your recovery time more than a disappearing ex.
Only an ex who stays out of your life will make you heal fast because your ex is the only one with the ability to give you pain or take your pain away.
The information your ex gives you or doesn’t give you is the number one factor in determining how you feel and how fast you heal. So try to see your ex’s disappearance in a positive way and be thankful that your ex left you completely alone.
You really don’t want your ex to torture you with an endless barrage of hope-inducing breadcrumbs and social media posts.
You want your ex to stop distracting you and make it possible for you to heal.
My ex disappeared from social media months after the breakup
If your ex disappeared from social media months after the breakup, your ex probably didn’t abandon social media because of you (unless you bothered your ex).
Your ex left it because your ex figured it’s time to focus on himself/herself and do things a bit differently.
People (not just dumpers) switch things up every now and then because they feel that social media is consuming too much of their time and/or that it’s allowing the wrong kind of people into their lives.
That’s why they sometimes decide to stop using it and direct their attention to different hobbies and people.
So if you found out that your ex disappeared from social media some time after the breakup, you probably shouldn’t worry too much. Your ex is probably just on a hiatus and is trying to make a few healthy adjustments.
Maybe your ex has got exams or something better than social media to worry about?
I don’t know why your ex went offline, but it doesn’t really matter. Whether you found out by accident or on purpose, you should unfollow your ex and do what it takes not to stumble across news like this in the future.
Did your ex disappear from social media after the breakup? Did it make you worry? Post your comment below.
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My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
I am a recent dumpee and decided to give a social media a break. I deactivated my Facebook account and deleted my instagram account. Pretty much for the reasons Zan mentioned in this post. I have been off of SM for two weeks and I can say I never realized how addictive it was. I would wake up each morning looking to check Facebook. I no longer do that which I consider to be healthy. My ex has a very unhealthy relationship with SM. She has an impulsive need to post everything. She presents as being the happiest person in the world on SM even though she presents as being utterly miserable in the real world. Her SM self and real world self are nothing alike. I never realized this disconnect until our breakup.
I don’t plan on returning to SM anytime soon. I may eventually do so but I’m very much enjoying this break. I am old enough to remember the pre SM days. They were good times.
Hi James.
I’m glad that taking a break from social media has had such a positive effect on you. Clearly, it’s helping you obsess and worry less and focus on yourself more. Your ex’s compulsion to present herself in the best way possible is no longer something you have to deal with daily, so keep it that way for a while. You can always return to social media after you’ve gotten over her and stopped caring about what she posts.
Kind regards,
Zan
It sometimes is not all about you. Maybe the dumper/dumpee stopped social media because he/she just needed a break like Zan said. Sometimes when you make big life changes like a break up the person needs to regather who they are. Social media is mainly full of fake people and friends. It is also very negative on our mental well being and relationships. I recommend everyone take a break from social media. I have been off it for over a year now and don’t miss it at all. If they are real friends they will call or text you in person.
Hi Nikki.
I agree with you. Social media can have a negative effect on relationships and dumpees. Sometimes taking a break from it can feel refreshing Thanks for commenting!
Zan
I like this article Zan! Thank you once again for all this 🤍
Thanks for reading, Linda! I appreciate it!