Leaving A Long-term Relationship For Someone Else

If you’re thinking about leaving a long-term relationship for someone else, you’re basically getting ready to discard someone you’ve committed to and invested in. You’re telling yourself that the new relationship will bring you more joy and happiness than the potential one and that you have to listen to your heart more than anything and anyone else.

Your heart wouldn’t lie to you and deceive you, right?

Well, not exactly. The heart or emotions are oftentimes our biggest enemy. They tell us our partners don’t love us, respect us, or understand us. They get into our heads because we and/or our partner haven’t been happy or as happy as we thought we should have been.

And we haven’t been happy because we took each other for granted, communicated and bonded poorly, allowed intrusive thoughts to confuse us, and thought other people could do a better job than our partner.

Other people don’t make us experience the bad side of the relationship. They make us see only the good side, which is what we haven’t seen much of recently. This makes it very tempting for us to bond with them instead of our partner and cause us to consider leaving a long-term relationship for someone we practically know nothing about.

We know only what the new man or woman has allowed us to see. And he or she allowed us to see an easy-going, cheerful, non-problematic person who can add tons of happiness and value to our lives.

It’s not our crush’s fault for being on his or her best behavior and presenting his or her personality in the best way. It’s our fault for lacking relationship knowledge, overprioritizing emotions and cravings, and assuming our crush will always be this ideal person who can make us feel everything our partner couldn’t.

At first, he or she definitely will. Regardless of how compatible we are with the new person, we’ll be in this euphoric state where we develop expectations and grow attached.

We’ll crave this person’s validation so much that we’ll shower him or her with affection and everything we should have given our ex-partner. We’ll enjoy spending every second of our time with the new person because the beginning of any relationship (friendship or romance) is the most exciting.

A few months later, though, excitement will wane. We’ll get used to the new partner and start to experience differences of opinion and personality and see that the person we replaced our ex with has shortcomings too. And some of those shortcomings are bigger and more difficult to deal with than our ex-partner’s.

We may not admit it, but we need to open our eyes now and see that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Perfect relationships exist in fairy tales and Hollywood movies. In the real world, relationships are life-long projects that have ups and downs.

We decide how we perceive them and respond to them.

What couples tend not to realize is that their maturity determines the quality of their relationship and the happiness in it. They mustn’t blame incompatibilities, external issues, the universe, or God for its problems and demise. They are solely responsible for their successes and failures.

So if you’re contemplating leaving a long-term relationship for someone else, don’t assume that the new relationship will take care of itself. The new person may have different flaws and traits than your current partner, but the relationship will still require tons of work and commitment.

If you don’t think it will or simply don’t want to contribute to the relationship as much as you need to, it may be best not to date anyone at all. Taking some time off from dating is better than leading people on and hurting them.

Try not to be selfish right now. Just because you got close to someone else whilst in a relationship, it doesn’t mean you need to keep getting closer and closer to that person. You should instead reevaluate your relationship goals and moral values and determine what the problem is in your current relationship.

Ask yourself what the reason is for disconnecting from your partner. Did you neglect the relationship or did you develop a crush on the new person and lost sight of your partner? Get to the bottom of things and see what your options are.

In today’s article, we’ll talk about the consequences of leaving a long-term relationship for someone else. I’ll explain why you shouldn’t betray your partner and how you can fix the mess you’re in.

Leaving a long-term relationship for someone else

Leaving a long-term relationship for some other person can feel like the right thing to do when you lack love, respect, and patience toward your long-term partner. It can be the quickest way to stop feeling unimportant and start feeling desired and validated again.

Jumping from one relationship to the next (whether you were in a short-term or long-term relationship) feels empowering. The hormones released in your brain say you feel better than ever and that abandoning an unfulfilling relationship is a must.

What your brain doesn’t tell you, though is that leaving your partner for someone else is cheating and monkey-branching and that going through with it would show you lack relationship skills, moral values, determination, gratitude, respect, self-respect, and everything relationships need to weather the storm.

A person who understands what cheating is and cares about his partner and actions simply won’t cheat. It doesn’t matter what his partner does and how unhappy he is. He’ll know that abandoning his partner for someone else is wrong and that it will have devastating consequences.

He won’t necessarily be less satisfied with the new person than with the previous one, but he will be branded as a cheater by himself and those around him. If he has a decent moral compass, he’ll feel guilty and bad for hurting his faithful partner once he stops feeling infatuated with the new person.

That’s why people in an unfulfilling relationship should first try to fix their problems. There are plenty of self-help books, articles, and therapists available to prevent cheating. If these remedies don’t work because couples don’t want them to work, then couples are already too far gone and should terminate their relationship.

Once they’ve done that, they should take some time to process unwanted emotions, learn from relationship mistakes, improve their flaws, and only then find someone else to date. Under no circumstances should they ignore their problems and skip working on themselves.

If they skip self-reflection and self-improvement, they’ll face unresolved issues in their next relationship.

So keep in mind that a mature person either works on the relationship or ends it. He takes the high road because it’s best for him, his partner, and the new person. An immature/immoral one, on the other hand, ignores people’s feelings, hurts people, and stays undeveloped in the pursuit of his happiness.

Leaving a long-term relationship is a serious matter. But leaving a relationship for someone else is on a completely different level. It’s a painful slap in the face for the long-term partner who stayed devoted and disrespectful to the new partner.

You have to understand that your ex will find out about your cheating and get hurt (maybe even traumatized). Only emotionally detached people are okay with being cheated on and dumped as they don’t care what happens to their relationship.

If you haven’t cheated yet, you have to consider your partner’s feelings and be responsible. And if you already cheated (emotionally or physically), you should find an appropriate time to come clean and tell your partner what you wish to do.

You’ll know what to do regarding your relationship very quickly after you’ve spoken to your partner about the reasons you moved on.

Here are 5 reasons why you may be considering leaving a long-term relationship for someone else.

Things to think about if you’re considering leaving a long-term relationship for someone else

If you have children with your spouse and are thinking of leaving your spouse, I won’t tell you that you need to only think about them. Kids get attached and may experience confusion and separation anxiety, but if you’re not happy, forcing yourself to stay in a hopeless situation wouldn’t be fair to you.

The article may have come across differently, but your feelings are important too. You don’t want to stay with someone who hits you, cheats on you, and abuses you.

The only two questions I have for you are:

1. Did you start thinking about leaving your partner before you met this person?
2. And do you still love your partner and want to work on the relationship?

If you had one foot out the door prior to developing a crush on the person in question, your relationship needed work even before. The new person was merely the scapegoat for your and/or your partner’s neglect and should have been informed that you were already in a relationship.

Of course, not every person backs off when they learn their crush is already dating someone, but many people do. They’ve been cheated on before and don’t want to be the person their crush cheats with.

On the other hand, if your relationship was fine before the new person came along, then he or she most likely confused you and made you crave validation and support. The man or woman made you think that relationships don’t have to be as difficult, stagnant, or unfulfilling as yours and that you deserved more.

This was, of course, just an illusion. All relationships slow down with time and become a bit less exciting. That’s normal and expected as you can’t stay elated about people forever. Naturally, your enthusiasm decreases over time and puts your determination and commitment to the test.

From that moment onward, love is a choice, not a feeling. You need to deactivate autopilot and grab the steering wheel. The relationship can’t steer in the right direction without anyone navigating it.

So if you’re about to leave a long-term relationship for someone else, consider the pros and cons.

The pros I see are that you can avoid dealing with current relationship problems and perceptions of your partner. You can start anew and feel adored right away. The cons, on the other hand, are that you cheat, hurt your partner badly, feel guilty/ashamed afterward, and start a new relationship on cheating terms.

This isn’t the healthiest way to start a relationship. Not if you care about your conscience.

What if I already left a long-term relationship for someone else?

If you’ve already left your partner to be with someone new, it’s not too late to be with your ex. The problem is that you probably don’t want to be with your ex anymore. You like the way things are going with the new person, so you don’t want to end things on a high.

I get that. Emotionally, you’ve already connected to this person and like him/her. The last thing you want is to be with your ex-partner (someone you weren’t very happy with recently).

Right now, you should leave your ex alone and focus on the person you chose. Talk to your ex only if you need to or if your ex asks for closure.

You would want to know why you’re breakup up too if you were in your ex’s shoes. You’d want to know if it was something you did or if your ex fell out of love with you due to neglect.

If your ex reaches out after the breakup, don’t lie or give vague answers and hope. Try to answer as honestly and patiently as you can so that your ex can know the truth and accept the breakup.

Make sure not to reach out and breadcrumb your ex either. Your ex doesn’t need to be more confused than he or she already is. Your ex must get used to not having you around and start moving on.

Let us know what you think about leaving a long-term relationship for someone else. Do you think it’s justifiable? Comment below.

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Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Learn more about me or get in touch today.