I Want My Family To Stop Talking To My Ex

Do you want your family to stop talking to your ex and reminding you about the past?

If you do, that’s perfectly understandable. You don’t want to know what your ex is doing and your ex to know what you’re doing. The relationship has ended, so all you want is to cut off the past and not think about your ex.

You want to let go of the unhappiness and embrace the happiness. And the best and quickest way to do that is to have your friends and family leave your ex in the past and let you process the breakup without making you think that your ex might learn something about you that you don’t want him or her to know.

Your ex isn’t someone you want close to you (at least not right now). You also don’t want your ex to communicate with people you trust and respect the most. Your family knows you and your ex very well and might say or do something you don’t want.

That’s why you feel apprehensive now that your ex is staying in touch with your family and telling them things that don’t concern him or her.

It’s probably not so much about the things your ex says but about the fact that your ex is still around, making you feel forced to think about your ex and wonder what his or her intentions are.

If you don’t want to worry about your ex, you should talk to your family about it. Tell them what bothers you and why it makes you feel that way. They should sympathize with you and stop talking or responding to your ex.

You can also tell them you’re okay with occasional communication but that you don’t want them to tell you about it.

That should keep your ex out of your head and give you plenty of space to keep moving forward.

If you got dumped, your family probably shouldn’t talk to your ex because it could make you extremely curious about what they’re saying and what it means. It could give you hope that you might get back together with the help of your family and that you could stop feeling rejected and hurt.

On the other hand, if you left your ex, then their interactions could give your ex hope and cause you discomfort. It could make you feel so uncomfortable that you feel pressured and stuck in the past with your ex.

No matter who dumped whom, this can probably be resolved by talking to your family (not your ex). Talk to the people closest to you and try to make them understand your thoughts and feelings. If they care about you (which they probably do), they’ll gladly distance themselves from your ex and erase your worries.

But if they’re super close (if they’re friends with your ex), then they might need an extra push. You can keep your distance for a while or encourage them to stop talking to your ex by spending more time with them and telling them what happened and how you feel.

Eventually, your family and your ex will probably drift apart. It happens to many people because they get busy with life, meet other people, and slowly fall out of touch.

In today’s article, we discuss what to do if you want your family to stop talking to your ex. We show you how to open up to your family in a way that doesn’t make you look demanding or weak.

I want my family to stop talking to my ex

It’s okay to want your family to stop talking to your ex. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person but that you’re tired of hurting or feeling pressured and stuck with your ex. Because you’re no longer together, you want your ex to exit your life completely.

This includes your friends and family’s life.

Not having your ex around would help you heal or make you happier faster than anything as you wouldn’t have to constantly think about your ex. You could just enjoy the space the breakup created.

Bear in mind that exes need to distance themselves from each other after the breakup. They need to get some space to focus on themselves and process the negative emotions created by the breakup. If they don’t get the space they need, they could feel uncomfortable, hurt, angry, or disrespected, and might even lash out at each other.

That would put them in a confrontational situation and cause them to misunderstand and hurt each other.

Luckily, this can be avoided by following the rules of no contact. These breakup rules include stopping all communication and leaving each other’s family members alone.

The problem is that ex-couples don’t always know about these rules or they don’t follow them. They think their situation is different and that they’re allowed to say or do what they want. Such beliefs make them do impulsive and selfish things and cause them to hurt each other.

If you’re hurting because of your ex’s impulsivity, you must find a way to stop hurting. You shouldn’t let your ex mess with your brain and keep you from being happy. The breakup happened so you could both be happy. Find a way to be happy now that you’re single.

Your ex shouldn’t be a part of your life anymore. He or she should respect breakup boundaries and do his or her best to disconnect from you and those who associate with you. A complete disconnection is necessary for you to forget about each other for a while and become emotionally independent. 

Once you’ve completely detached and fallen back in love with yourselves and your new lives, you can get back in touch and inquire about each other’s family members. But while you’re recovering (especially while you’re getting over a breakup), you should leave each other’s friends and family alone and focus on yourself.

Self-focus will help you get to a point where you accept the past and disassociate some bad thoughts and feelings from each other. It won’t fix all your problems, but generally speaking, the more time you give each other and the healthier thoughts you think, the better you’ll feel.

Give each other at least half a year (a year is even better) to stop getting affected by the breakup. You’ll know when you’re ready for friendship and communication with each other’s family.

How to make my family stop talking to my ex?

Since your ex isn’t directly reaching out to you, you shouldn’t reach out to your ex either. You shouldn’t be overprotective or possessive and tell your ex to leave your family alone. That would make you look crazy and weird.

Instead of telling your ex what to do and not to do, simply talk to your family. Tell them it’s hurting you when they speak to your ex and that you’d appreciate it if they stopped doing that.

Say you’re not jealous, but that it’s too soon for you to know your family is talking to someone who has hurt you or who makes you feel uncomfortable and trapped.

Make sure to explain things properly and tell them how you feel. Don’t just say you don’t want them to talk to your ex and that you prohibit them. That will probably make them want to talk to your ex even more.

If you voice your concerns respectfully, your family will probably understand where you’re coming from and do as you say. They’ll stop interacting with your ex and let you heal from the breakup.

If they don’t want to stop talking to your ex because they created a strong bond or because they believe your ex more than you, you can’t and shouldn’t force them to stop talking to your ex.

What they do is up to them. If they don’t see or care that you’re hurting, they’re not very empathetic people. They care about their right to converse with your ex more than how they’re making you feel.

In that case, you should consider not talking to them for a while or asking them to keep you in the dark about your ex. You need to do something otherwise you could keep hearing things about your ex you’re not ready to hear.

Always remember it has to be their idea to stop conversing with your ex. They have to see that it’s hurting your feelings and delaying your healing and that it’s in their best interest to help you recover emotionally and in every other way.

You can say something like:

• I get hurt when I see/hear that you still talk to my ex.
• It reminds me of the past and makes me angry/sad.
• I know I don’t have the right to tell you who to speak or not speak to, but I want you to know it doesn’t feel good when you talk to my ex.
• I don’t want my ex to know how I feel and what I do. Would it be okay if you guys didn’t communicate for a while? Or if you do talk, please don’t share my life with my ex. I would appreciate that a lot.

You basically need to:

1. Let your family know how you feel and why you feel that way.
2. Make them understand that keeping your ex completely out of your life is necessary for your healing.
3. Ask for their support.

When they know how you feel, they might sympathize with you and tell you they won’t speak to your ex anymore. That’s when you can create an appropriate way to respond if your ex reaches out to them in the future.

Before you jump to the conclusion that they don’t care about you, you need to talk to them about your feelings and expectations. People need to understand what’s going on with you emotionally before they can feel inspired to do the right thing.

And oftentimes, they understand you and feel inspired when you express yourself respectfully and help them see that you’re hurting.

Most people won’t keep hurting you if you express pain maturely and avoid blaming them. They will, however, keep hurting you if you call them unthoughtful, ungrateful, disrespectful, mean, and make other derogatory comments they don’t want to hear.

If you say nasty things, there’s a big chance they’ll take it personally and prioritize themselves over you.

So before you get angry with your loved ones and cut them off, talk to them about your feelings and only then about their behavior. They should see that you’re not attacking their choices and personality but asking for understanding and sympathy.

You could also come to terms with the fact that they’re still in touch with your ex, but that will be very hard to do – especially if you got dumped and still have feelings for your ex. It will be much easier if your family takes your side and responds empathetically.

Their supportive response can help you feel better or at least prevent you from feeling more hurt.

So if you want your family to stop talking to your ex and hurting/annoying you, leave your ex out of it and talk to your family. They remain in your life, so they’re the ones you need to talk about this. Make sure to express your pain patiently and respectfully and avoid making them feel responsible for your problems.

No one wants to be blamed for another person’s feelings.

With that said, here’s how to stop your family from talking to your ex.

What if my family chooses my ex over me?

If your family doesn’t care about your feelings and keeps talking to your ex even though nothing holds them to him or her (no kids or anything like that), you obviously shouldn’t keep talking to them.

Breakups are difficult enough. If you don’t get the support you need from people who mean the most to you, they’re either attached to your ex and/or side with your ex.

If you left your ex, they think you were a good match but that you stopped putting your best foot forward and fell out of love. You let the relationship deteriorate to the point where the thought of quitting became more tempting than working on it.

If your ex left you, however, then your family probably has a close bond with your ex and doesn’t see or care that you’re suffering. If you tried explaining it to them but they didn’t care, it might be better to get some space from all of them and get over your ex.

You won’t be able to heal if you’re surrounded by people who don’t support you. It doesn’t matter if you made some bad decisions and said or did mean things. Family members are supposed to be there for you unconditionally.

If they don’t help you when you’re suffering from heartbreak, they don’t have your best interests at heart. They have interests that concern them more than your problems.

Family members like that aren’t close or don’t see the need to help each other. You shouldn’t be around them or you could feel uncared for and fall into a severe depression.

So if your family is choosing your ex over you even though you’re struggling with the breakup, get some space from them after failing to obtain their sympathy and care. Make sure to also reflect on your choices and behaviors to see if you and your ex could benefit from an apology and a closure conversation.

Maybe all your ex wants is to talk about what went wrong and not feel so abandoned and worthless.

Cutting off family members isn’t easy, nor something you should do impulsively. You should think long and hard before you let go of people who appear not to have your back. Get to understand their reasons for choosing your ex over you.

It could help you avoid misunderstandings and family drama.

Do you want your family to stop talking to your ex? How does their post-breakup communication make you feel? Share your thoughts and feelings with us in the comments area below.

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Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Learn more about me or get in touch today.