How Your Ex Feels When You Ignore Him?

Dumpers and dumpees feel differently when they’re ignored. Dumpees typically take the ignoring personally and feel rejected, unwanted, and unattractive. They feel anxious and want their ex to validate them and come back to them.

Dumpers, on the other hand, tend to feel disrespected and annoyed. They may not have any romantic expectations of the dumpee, but they nonetheless expect a timely response. They consider their reach-out civil and think they deserve a respectful response. If they don’t get it, they don’t feel rejected and worthless like dumpees.

More often than not, they feel irritated and tempted to ignore or block the dumpee. In some shape or form, they feel the need to escalate the situation and distance themselves from the dumpee.

Ignoring is generally regarded as disrespectful and bitter behavior. People don’t think very positively of it – especially emotionally charged and detached dumpers. Dumpers don’t have much patience toward their ex. They’re space-deprived and tired of feeling emotions they don’t want to feel, so they badly need their post-breakup life to improve.

The last thing they want is to encounter more issues with their ex. Issues such as getting ignored when they finally muster the courage to reach out.

I know some people on the internet advise you to ignore your ex, but ignoring won’t improve the situation between you and your ex. Ignoring will p*ss your ex off and reduce the chances of getting back with your ex (if that’s what you want). Reconciliation will become harder because you’ll show your ex you’ve become resentful and incapable of communicating.

The worse you react and present yourself, the less your ex will like you and regret breaking up.

Your dumper ex is not a dumpee. He doesn’t take ignoring to heart and crave recognition because of it. Unlike the dumpee who becomes desperate for validation, the dumper gets offended and typically commits to staying away from the dumpee. Distance lets the dumper avoid being reminded of you and feel uncomfortable.

So if you’re contemplating ignoring your ex to get your ex back, remember that ignoring will make things worse, not better. Ignoring will tell your ex that you haven’t accepted the breakup and forgiven your ex for hurting you. You still hold on to the past and wish to punish your ex.

Your ex obviously won’t like that. He will see that you’re vengeful and unsafe to be around. This will make your ex put his guard up and perhaps even talk badly about you.

There are no advantages to ignoring an ex who makes an effort to talk to you. I’m not saying you should entertain your ex. But if you don’t want to be friends and talk to your ex, you should say it. Express it politely to your ex so that your ex doesn’t keep thinking you feel similarly and want the same things after the breakup.

If you express what you want or don’t want, your ex will respect you more than if you resort to ignoring or blocking. That’s because you’ll be honest about your feelings and remain polite in how you express yourself.

Pretending not to care won’t make your ex care more. Your ex is your ex, not your partner. He doesn’t crave your validation and closeness. Hence why ignoring will make your ex feel stupid for trying to be “the bigger person.” It will make your ex wonder why he is even trying and destroy whats left of the relationship.

You should ignore your ex only when your ex leaves you no other option. Ignore when your ex oversteps your boundaries, doesn’t leave you alone after asking him to, treats you or your loved ones badly, or makes comments that give you hope and mess up your healing.

There are likely a few other situations where ignoring is acceptable, but you get the idea. Ignore not to reattract your ex but to protect yourself and those who matter to you. If you ignore your ex when he just says hi or asks for friendship, you’ll develop the belief that ignoring is perfectly acceptable when you’re not getting what you want from people.

In other words, your ex will turn you into someone who ignores anyone who causes unwanted emotions. That wouldn’t be good for your personal development and relationships.

Always remember that ignoring an ex who dumped you is counterproductive in every way and that it won’t trigger a powerful realization and regret. All it will do is show how you react to difficult emotions and what you’re like as a person. If this isn’t something you want your ex to think about, you shouldn’t ignore your ex.

You should use your communication skills to respectfully and concisely express your lack of interest in conversing. You don’t have to say that talking gives you hope and hurts you. You can just be vague and say you need some time to process things. If your ex was a dumper before and/or understands your feelings, your ex will gladly give you the space you need to self-prioritize.

Only immature and privileged dumpers who want to be friends with their ex throw a tantrum when the dumpee asks for space. Such dumpers tend to learn the hard way that they can’t hold on to their ex as friends or friends with special benefits. To stay close to their ex, they have to commit romantically and try harder to make their ex happy.

In this article, we discuss how your ex feels when you ignore him as a dumpee vs a dumper. We also share some alternative solutions to ignoring.

How your ex feels when you ignore him?

Whether your ex is a dumpee or a dumper, your ex doesn’t feel good when you ignore him. He thinks you’re not a very good person and that you don’t deserve his respect and recognition. He thinks ignoring is mean and that he shouldn’t have messaged you and expected you to reply.

Dumpees hate being ignored more than dumpers because they emotionally depend on their ex. They need their ex to validate their importance and help them love themselves. That’s why ignoring hurts them immensely and affects their self-esteem.

Every time they get ignored, they consider ignoring a rejection and suffer immensely. To feel better, they need their ex to respond and show them he cares enough to reply. A simple response doesn’t instantly fix their broken heart, but it does tell them their ex respects them and that they needn’t blame themselves.

If you ignore the person you dumped, you’ll indirectly tell him you’ve stopped caring about his feelings and that your new life is more important than his closure, acceptance, and recovery. Your ignoring behavior will cause your ex to put you on a pedestal and need your care and affection more than ever.

It will likely urge your ex to reach out over and over again until you recognize his emotional investment and effort and help him cope with the breakup. Dumpees can be very persistent. They often react to rejection pain and try to make their ex understand they’re hurt and need help. If their ex doesn’t help them, they tend to get emotional and do impulsive things.

Things that pressure their ex and make their ex even less interested in talking.

Dumpees shouldn’t be reaching out to their ex as they should be in no contact. But since we don’t live in a perfect world, they sometimes make mistakes. They either refuse to do no contact or break the rules of no contact. When they do that, the dumper needs to remind them it’s in everyone’s best interest to focus on themselves and avoid conversing for a while.

The dumper needs to be the rational person who sets the dumpee straight and prevents anger and resentment from piling up. If the dumper can empathetically explain why communication is bad for both parties, the dumpee may understand the dynamics of a breakup and not want to reach out anymore.

That means the dumper may not need to ignore the dumpee and hurt him further.

Moreover, if you’re a dumpee who wants or doesn’t want an ex back, then ignoring is also not recommended. Ignoring sends the message that your ex is doing something wrong and that you have no patience, time, or respect to explain it to him. You don’t find him worthy of an explanation and want him to go away.

Maybe he will go away. Maybe he’ll see that you’re not interested in what he has to say and that he should talk to someone else. But do keep in mind that he won’t respect you for it. He’ll probably find you beyond rude and ignore you back the next time you need something from him.

I don’t know your ex on a personal level to tell you how he’ll interpret your ignoring behavior and how he’ll respond to it, but if he’s like most dumpers, he won’t feel insignificant because of it.

Only forced dumpers and dumpers with mental health problems feel hurt and sad when their ex ignores them. Other dumpers get angry or feel neutral about it. They justify their reasons for leaving and their bad demeanor by pointing to their ex’s post-breakup behavior.

If your goal is to get back with your ex, you don’t want your ex to think you’re to blame for everything.

You want your ex to think you’re a decent person who responds to people even if the relationship didn’t have the best ending. The easiest way to do that is to respond and see what your ex wants. Your ex may just want to apologize or talk about some important subject. You won’t know why your ex reached out unless you respond.

Once your ex has responded, however, you can go back to no contact and keep healing.

Mind you, no contact doesn’t mean ignoring your ex. It means ignoring your urges to contact your ex and try to get back with him. If you handle the breakup maturely, you’ll give your ex space and time to explore his life, encounter problems, and determine if leaving you was the right decision.

Having said that, here’s how your ex feels when you ignore him.

The emotional impact of silence

No one says you must respond immediately and talk to your ex for hours. But you must understand that ignoring and staying silent are two different things. Ignoring is when you deliberately refuse to respond to your ex whereas silence is when you keep your distance from your ex and let your ex think, feel, and do what he wants.

If your ex is a dumpee, silence will let your ex process the breakup, regain his lost power, rebuild his self-esteem, and move on. It will help your ex forget about you and find different people and things to prioritize.

If your ex is a dumper, however, silence will make your ex free and enjoy life on his terms. It will allow your ex to stop feeling suffocated and encourage him to see what his new life is like. If his life is good, your ex won’t become nostalgic and regretful. He’ll stay on the path he’s on and find someone else to date.

But if your ex’s life is bad or not as he expected it to be, then chances are he’ll reflect and rediscover your romantic potential. This means he could come back and recommit to you.

It’s hard to say what he’ll do, but if you haven’t given up on him, you may want to treat him with respect. Treat everyone that way so that you develop positive habits and a good attitude. People aren’t born with a healthy attitude. They develop it over time through various challenges and experiences.

Silence from you could help your ex grow as a person provided he wants to or needs to grow. We grow the most when we make mistakes and fear it may be too late to go back. That’s when we suffer the most and also learn the most.

So try not to approach the breakup with your ego. Instead, remember that your actions constantly shape who you are. If you’re dismissive, you’ll stay or become dismissive and hurt your ex. And when your ex is hurt, your ex could decide to get back at you for embarrassing him and causing him pain.

The safest response is to reply and see why your ex wants to talk. You can ask your ex not to reach out afterward if you’re not happy with your ex’s words and expectations.

Are you still wondering how your ex feels when you ignore him? Are you a dumper or a dumpee? Let us know below the post.

However, if you need help responding to your ex, reach out for a private coaching session. We’ll create a plan suited to your needs.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.