In this article, we will find out whether narcissists care if you move on. The next 6 signs they still care are quite apparent as narcissists are too self-centered and egoistic to hide them.
They constantly seek attention from you and try to prevent you from moving on.
It doesn’t matter whether you broke up with a narcissist or the other way around. Ignoring a narcissist is one of the most powerful techniques you can apply to keep one at bay.
So go indefinite no-contact as soon as the relationship ends, and don’t reach out under any circumstances.
In most cases, narcissists are only seeking validation by making you think they are madly in love with you. Unfortunately, that’s not the case, as narcissists only care about themselves and their feelings.
Narcissist’s priority list:
- Him
- Himself
- Only him
- Still him
- Just him
- The cat
- You
Do narcissists care if you move on? They still care to some degree. It may not be for the right reasons, but they are still emotionally invested, even if you have moved on. Here are 6 signs they still care.
1)Calling and texting
The first most common sign is calling and texting you non-stop. A narcissist is as starving for attention as a mosquito is thirsty for blood. He will call you out of the blue throughout the day, demanding attention and validation.
Narcissists exhibit this sort of behavior to hold on to their power and feed their diminished ego. You can expect late-night calls, texts, a ton of voicemail, voice messages, and in some cases, even videos.
Prevent yourself from getting spammed and annoyed by blocking the narcissist’s number. An even better option is to change yours and eliminate other possibilities of him reaching out to you, such as using his friends’ phone.
2)Social media
The second platform a narcissist will use to get in touch with you is social media. It’s fast, free and easy to exploitâwhich is exactly why a narcissistic person will use it. Sending more messages to you is going to be a piece of cake for himâbecause he will make sure you become aware of his perpetuating poking.
To him, it’s just another desperate attempt to shove his way into your lifeâwhen you clearly wish to stay away from him. The harder you try to get rid of him, the more he will force himself closer to you.
A narcissist does not take no for an answer.
Zan
It’s very likely a narcissist will check your online status on social media, like it, comment, and do other things to confuse you. What that does to you mentally, is it causes you to think about his actions and contemplate the reasons behind his actions. Needless to say, it’s just another way for a narcissist to elicit a reaction out of you.
Delete and block your ex narcissist from social media to move on properly.
3)Begging and pleading to reply/take a narcissist back
Another way to prove narcissists care if you move on is when they go through the humiliation of begging and pleading to get your attention. They will reduce their self-respect temporarily in order to get it back tenfold later. For them, worthwhile investment.
Don’t get begging and pleading confused with normal post-break up-mistakes because it’s different with narcissists. Narcissists do it only to feed their ego and to control you once again soon.
They will go to any lengths to prove to you how things will be different this time around. They will say and do what it takes for you to trust them againâuntil they win your trust, so they can revert back to their destructive ways.
4)Interfering with your new romantic life
Do narcissists care if you move on, you ask? Here’s a way to know for sure.
When you are seeing another person and appear happy without your ex, is when a narcissist will jump out of his hiding and interfere. Remember, a narcissist will try anything to seduce you and gain back control.
He simply wants what he can’t have. Now that you are interested in another person, he shows interest in you and wants to ruin your new relationship. Your happiness doesn’t matter to him because he’s full of conceit.
5)Stalking you
You may find yourself followed by a narcissist when you are out and about, doing your own things. All of a sudden he inadvertently “bumps” into you and is incredibly shocked to see you. In just two seconds, you can immediately tell he is faking his demeanor. He will likely try to make plans with you since it’s been “a while” when you “last spoke.”
All of a sudden he seems like a new personâor at least he wants you to think that. Using a false identity by portraying himself in the best light possible is what he thinks will reel you back into his hunting zone.
We all know people don’t change that quicklyâand especially that much. Don’t be deceived by his sudden transformation. Instead, be wary of his sly intentions.
If you assume you are being stalked by your narcissistic ex, avoid him like the plague and never talk to him even for a second. In case he takes it too far and threatens your privacy, you can always inform his friends and family.
And if that doesn’t work, you should involve the police and file for a restraining order. There is only so much stress you should tolerate in life.
6)Ranting to his or your friends
Often after a breakup, couples get themselves involved in some sort of post-breakup war. It’s basically a competition to see who is living a better life. They will put each other down to their friends by stating all the negatives and blame each other for their problems.
After a couple of weeks, this sort of behavior would normally stop. Not for a narcissist though. He is stuck in a loophole, unable to move on due to his bruised ego. Narcissists are like babies.
They throw tantrums when things don’t go the way they planned and start blaming others for their misfortunes. Your friends will hear all sorts of lies about you and maybe even some partial truths. The narcissist will try his hardest to win the sympathy from your common friends and turn them against you.
The best thing you can do is to ignore his provocations and avoid making any rude remarksâwhich could make you look bad. If you can, laugh it off and joke about it. The person who handles it better will appear as the person telling the truth. Don’t let his narcissistic traits get under your skin. Instead, act as if he never said anything. Ignoring a narcissist is the best gift you can give him.
Do narcissists care if you move on?
If you are looking for a short answer, then yes. Narcissists are all about them and nothing about you. They always put themselves first and you last. The same applies to when you move on.
They want to be the ones who “moved on first.” To be completely honest, they don’t want you to move on at all. You moving on first would mean they end up losing all the power they had over you.
Instead, they would rather string you along to satisfy their ego. They don’t want to see you move on, especially not before they doâwith a new person. Narcissists always want to be #1 and absolutely despise any sort of rejection.
You moving on would imply you are more important than them. A narcissist won’t tolerate that kind of
Frequently asked questions about narcissists
Are narcissists happy people?
Narcissists are happy with their way of living because they don’t realize what they’re doing to others. They are so self-absorbed, the world around them ceases to exist. Itâs all about âI this, I thatâ and never about you.Â
People are very prideful of themselves and their achievements, especially narcissists. They won’t acknowledge any flaws of theirs by making others take responsibility.
Itâs best to leave them alone and ignore them completely. Donât even look their way. They arenât worthy of your attention. Your happiness isn’t narcissist’s happiness and vice versa.
Will they be happy with someone else?
Narcissists will most likely go from one relationship to another, draining them of energy. They are thirsty vampires that never get enough. They suck and suck until there is nothing left to drain.
You wish you could be around when a narcissist meets another narcissist. Two narcissists would make quite a show. They wouldnât know how to take from one another, and would constantly quarrel. Eventually they would lose interest and part ways to seek new victims.
Do narcissists care about their family?
Narcissists care about their family, especially their children. They view their children as superior to others, and as
Can a narcissist change?
The problem with narcissism is that they are perfect in every shape and form (at least to themselves). They would need a really good incentive and a strong motivator to start a journey of personal transformation.
They are human beings, after all, so itâs possible for them to change at some point. It’s highly unlikely though because changing a personality trait of such difficulty would take great effort.
Are you positive you were involved with a narc? Here are 8 surefire ways to tell your ex is a narcissist.
What is your opinion? Do narcissists care if you move on? Have you got a story to tell? Write it in the comments below.
Is it normal for a vindictive ex wife to get involved in your dating life and then befriend your friends and spouses and invite them over?
It’s not normal for an ex to do that at all, Speeze.
Tread carefully.
Zan
I am in the ending stage or hope to be with a women i have been with for 2 going on 3 years, when things are good they are really good, we laugh and have fun, we go on dates and there is alot of fun and happiness, the problem is the problems and the gaslighting in them.. no matter what has happened and how wrong she has ever been in anything she has done, and beleive me she has been wrong, but even more than being wrong because we are all human and make mistakes.. i dont care about the mistakes i care about being seen through them, it hasnt mattered the actual mistakes, what matters to me is caring that my feelings have been hurt, appologizing for the actual action but more than anything saying im sorry that i hurt you.. no matter what she has never said sorry for a single thing and all that me saying i am hurt and just want an apology has done is turn into somehow me apologizing and working harder to try and be better for her, for whatever reasons she has given me during these fights ( i am young and have been blind, and more than anything hopeful) she has gaslighted me and made everyhting my fault with all of the accountability on my shoulders.. I do not know where the lines blur and i feel if i stay any longer to truly understand i will lose myself, so i just want to say this.. NPD is not something of a bully im the best force.. its routed in a complete lack of self confidence.. and it is a mental defense, even if she loves me and she does, her ego is fragile and any attack on her ego, if not defended in the way that narcs do, could cripple her self identity or probably would. Narcs do hurt us, but it is important to realize it is because they are also hurting in their self esteem more than we can realize or understand and that they mentally lack the ability to emphasize like me and you do.. I need to leave and i suggest you do to.. but dont leave hating this person, understand it comes from a place of deep deep lack of beleif in self and esteem.. you can have compassion and understand that it was never personal, but just a system developed in their mind for self protection and self preservation of ego.. you can understand them, and know they cant control it.. you can love them.. but you still need to leave.
I became friends with this older gentleman and he looked to be at first appearance a bit on the rough side with his large frame slicked back gray hair and his potbelly swaying lick a big woman from side to side when he walked. With that confidence that could butter bread with out even touching it. And who was looking at ME! He was SMIZING at me his cousin was between us and She introduced me to her cousin (we gone call him Bob ) so Bob is interested in me I’m keeping my cool. He asks me for my number, ok here you go.( Ladies watch who you give your number to) so we went to a restaurant the next morning and it was nice. some time after that we talked on the phone then he asked me over in his back yard to listen to music. (but he only listens to the blues…so if you never heard a blues song its mostly about how you want what you ain’t got what you looking for who done did you wrong you know country music for black people. so I watched him cut his grass tinker in the garage and that was fine. The same thing with conversation several times. and I noticed a bougie arrogance That was right there up front. but I thought to myself ok I know I see it but I’m gonna try. So one day we were sitting at the dinner table and enjoying ourselves and out of the blue he says “your VAIN”) I said VAIN no I’m not so he says Yes you are your vain so the type person I am is in no way Vain. I said maybe you should ask your cellphone exactly what vain is. He said its you No I beg to differ I am not. I said I am not vain not getting a bit heated. He shouts out Kimberly You are vain that’s why you have jewelry on your ankle I laughed, and that’s vain and by this time he is Irate so he pours his self a large drink and goes back to mowing grass I just left and didn’t come back so a year or two later. we spoke on Facebook and we started talking and I was noticing little things he would say or comment and I didn’t like it so at first I was ignoring him. then we went to Walmart and he says ok anything you see you want just put it in the buggy, Use me while you can… I said oh I would never do that I don’t use people and we go on shopping. and when we got back to his house he comes up to me and says I think you responded wrong I asked to what? he said when you said you would never use me….. I think you should have said OK thank you I can’ t respond like you I am quite capable of conveying what it is I want to say thank you So he Had a bad reaction to me saying that I WAS OUT OF MY MIND TO THINK THAT WAY I’M CRAZY IM INCAPABLE OF UNDERSTANDING I JUST BLUE IT (HE DO THINK THIS IS GOING TO WORK) he is frantic. Me how ever I’m just listening and watching him go from room to room cursing and calling me names wow that was a lot… So to keep the peace I apologized (yep me) and he goes into telling me how twisted and strange I am and I cant keep on doing this cause he is a peaceful man that is just trying to make me happy. He said you have to listen to me let me love you… So I apologized again and again like I am doing wrong so all night I had to hear it… Couple weeks later we are I’m listening I don’t try to have conversations anymore we might get in a{ I cant say argument because I would say nothin{ NOPE I’m wrong I listened to him for about 5 minutes tell me how great he is what he does for me how he does what if anything he does and how I feel about it…. So I didn’t answer He telling me off he was just having fun why can’t I just make him happy and go along with it and answer him the way he wanted me to answer. NO so I gave him back his key took all my things and left he bashed me about how I cant keep doing this because we ain’t go keep going like this I left and he calls telling me of, coming to where I ‘am to say this is you so knowing it’s now me I apologized anyway …. We talked and got back together I YES (I apologized again over and over like he likes) and he bashed me for not answering and telling him what he wanted to hear…so this time I stay away and he is still telling me off. NOW I comprehend IT’S NOT ME!!!!so he is talking to me about his Co worker (Jane now Jane is a truck driver to he calls her and tells her what she should do and how to do it I got yawl He is yelling about what he said and how he said it and I remembered a week back him doing the same thing to his ex’s granddaughter???? so he is telling me getting mad at her because Jane didn’t do exactly what he told her to do…(me and my big mouth.) because Jane stop answering the phone Well Baby How you telling this woman what to do that is her job she can do what ever she want… oh my Lord you could hear the ground shift. he lit into me I said. “isn’t she allowed to do what she wants It’s HER job it’s none of your business…..
that is the last time we said anything to one another…
because He got so mad he said he can’t talk to me if he does he gonna have to keep the conversations short so I can’t Talk He said I’m a difficult WOMAN, and he said he will call me when he gets home…
so he called when he got home some hours later and I said ohâŚ
I text him and told him I had to take my daughter a couple places and I just stayed home because I was tired of his NARCISSISISM…
Of course this is entirely directed at men…. man bad man bad… Ive seen woman be far more cunning then a man ever could… Especially with the love bombing and devaluation stage, cluster b personality disorders, it just seems more common with woman then men…
Thank you Debbie your so right we are better than that ! X
These are very extreme. Mine is much more suble. Simple one-line texts that mean really nothing after the breakup every few days. Sometimes he’ll text things that used to bother me when we were together (like cryptically implying we’d have no future) – then waiting for my respose. Normally I’d respond back with panic and trying to get reassurance that wasn’t what he meant. But I’m not playing now. Then he’ll text me me a few days later again with some sort of recommendation for stocks or something else trivial. He’s not begging me back but he did say he was going to change after he found out I was dating someone else. He weasled back into my heart enough to ruin the relattionship I was in, then told me he decided he didn’t want to date me again and ran off. Now he just texts every few days. I feel crazy.
I ended my relationship with the Narc almost two weeks ago. We had been dating for 2.5 yrs and i had walked away after his vile and nasty abuse got worse.
I previously left three times and he gaslighted me back with promises of Commitmment and change. The promises as empty as him! He sent a text last Summer out of the blue telling me its over and he cant do us anymore! Later that night he was seen arriving at the local club with a blonde woman on his arm who he later said was a woman who had forgot her membership!!! He sat chatting to her all evening apparently. Two days later he was love bombing me and begging to come back! I never met his Mother, he lied about his past and i recently found out from his ex wife that he had cheated several times on her during their marriage, once with her friend and once with a colleague of hers. He said it was her and he calls her âa pig in blanketâ as he does the mother of his 10 year old Daughter by one of his conquests/supplies!
The thought of him makes me cringe. He has love bombed me, called me no caller ID and telephoned from pay phones plus come around at several times of the day and evening calling through the letterbox to please let him ask me a Question!!!! He then says he will get out of my life. I wish he would. He sent my fsvourite fliwers( funny that, never has before…. left voicemails and even an email saying how much he is in love with me but wants closure please?
Please, if you are going through any of this too, know that you are a beautiful, desirable, lovable woman who can go on to find an amazing and healthy guy to love and who will love you back. Hold on to that thought, be strong and remember when your narc tries to get you back of all the rotten times and how you felt then and how you felt around him.
I am going to move on and trust me, so can you.
Good luck everyone x
Hi Debbie. Thank you very much for your empowering advice!
Your situation is a good example of what a narcissist will do to destroy a relationship. Once he or she has destroyed it to bits, the narcissist will then “attempt” to mend it. When a narc pumps you up with false hope, he will revert back to his old ways and repeat the same demeanour. The high-good and the low-bad moments in the relationship cause the victim to trauma bond and become emotionally reliant on a narcissist. By being exposed to narcissistic behaviour, one becomes emotionally addicted to good feelings. In a way, it’s similar to those situations where victims have fallen in love with a torturer. A lot of people will go through the worst of abuse for years in hopes of getting that fix on a regular basis (high-good feeling of reassurance and content).
Your comment will serve as a lesson to others to love themselves first, and to avoid falling for cheap tricks. Actions will always speak louder than words and empty promises when dealing with a narcissist. Everyone can get through the storm. You just have to really want to.
Zan