Do Long-term Relationships Get Back Together?

Couples who end long-term relationships do get back together. They reconcile just as frequently as short-term couples. The only difference between long-term and short-term couples is that short-term couples get back together because they weren’t emotionally ready for a relationship (weren’t over their exes yet and/or needed more time to process the past), whereas long-term couples return because they ran into problems, got hurt, and realized they were compatible with each other.

It’s easier for short-term couples to reconcile because they don’t know each other that well yet. There’s still some mystery between them as they don’t know each other’s bad traits yet and aren’t bitter. That makes it much easier for them to respect each other and give the relationship another chance once they’ve solved their problems.

Long-term couples, however, need a whole different mentality and see things from a different perspective to get back together. They need to discern that they gave up on someone they love but that they took him or her for granted and thought they could be happier on their own or with someone else. Such couples must become miserable and realize they need to hurry up and reconcile or they’ll stay miserable.

Therefore, long-term dumpers are usually in pain and need to reconcile to ease pain whereas short-term dumpers process the past, deal with their problems, and feel ready or excited to get back with their ex. They can also feel anxious, of course, but normally, they don’t know each other that well, so they seldom feel like they’re missing out on the best person in the world.

They’re just missing out on someone they dated, got along with, but couldn’t emotionally bond with because they weren’t ready for it.

So if you’re trying to figure out if long-term relationships get back together, know that they do. They want what they had in the past. But before they can get back together, they need to go through certain breakup phases during which they run into problems, experience unwanted emotions, reflect, become nostalgic, question their decisions, direction in life, and worth, and only then want their ex back to get rid of all the problems they’ve encountered on their solo journey.

Exes don’t simply get back together without a reason. They reconcile because something goes wrong. And something goes wrong when they’re not prepared for the kind of lifestyle they envisioned before breaking up. Once the world comes crashing down on them, they come running back like greased lightning and try to get what they need out of their ex.

What they need can be reassurance, emotional support, understanding, love, and what they previously had and took for granted.

Sometimes dumpers frankly state they want these things again, but most of the time, they come back for them sneakily without their ex’s awareness by investing time and emotions in their ex and expecting their ex to do the same. That’s how they can start feeling important, validated, and in control of their emotions and life again.

The only thing you need to understand if you want your long-term ex to come back is that your ex needs some kind of failure in his or her life to want to feel loved again. The more painful the failure is, the higher the chances that your ex will ponder about you and want you back as a security blanket.

Now, most dumpees dread the idea of being their ex’s backup plan, but that’s what reconciliation is. It’s an emergency plan for dumpers who get hurt and realize they messed up with their ex. Dumpees should try to change the way they think of their ex coming back so they don’t shoo their ex away when their ex has failed and become ready to be the responsible person he or she should have been ages ago.

In today’s post, we’ll discuss if long-term relationships get back together after they’ve broken up.

Do long-term relationships get back together?

Long-term relationships get back together. But whether they get back together strongly depends on the dumper’s maturity, ability to reflect and process negative emotions, perceptions of the dumpee, beliefs about getting back together, and most importantly, the difficult, problematic, or troublesome situations the dumper gets himself or herself into.

If the dumper doesn’t hit a wall at fast speed, you can forget about your ex coming back. It won’t happen because your ex will just keep moving on and enjoying his or her life. Your ex needs to see that the path he or she is on is a dead end and that it’s too precarious to persevere. Only then will your ex decide to take a few steps back to consider taking another route or walking straight back to safety.

As we discussed, safety would be you because you made it safe for your ex to stay with. You supported your ex while you were together and made it extremely easy for your ex to feel validated, loved, and needed.

Now that your long-term relationship ended, you must step back and let your ex choose his/her own path. You can’t make your ex fail faster than life can teach your ex lessons because failure is something your ex must encounter on his or her own.

How your ex fails doesn’t matter. All that matters is that your ex’s post-breakup plan fails and that your ex thinks about you in a positive light, realizes the value you bring to the table, and develops the love and a desire to get back in touch.

Once your ex has developed an adoration for you, you can be certain that your ex will reach out. You don’t need to keep talking to your ex for your ex to do that. You just need to be patient and let your ex come to you. By waiting for your ex to make the first move, you will exude confidence and take back the power your ex took from you.

Power is very important after the breakup. Without power, you’ll be in trouble because your ex will be able to treat you however he or she wants. I’m not saying your ex will be mean to you, but the truth is that most people treat others the way others treat themselves.

If they don’t respect themselves, their (ex)partners don’t respect them either. Only the most mature and aware individuals support their partners when they struggle to see their value. This explains why so many people leave their partners when they’re depressed, stressed, needy, clingy, or demanding. They simply don’t have the strength to support their partners when they have their own problems to deal with.

So if you want to get back together with your long-term partner, make sure to retain your worth as a person. Don’t beg and plead or do anything unattractive that ruins your reputation as an ex-partner. That will only complicate things as it will make it harder for your ex to respect you and see a future with you.

As a dumpee, you must understand that your ex doesn’t want to be fought for. He or she gave up fighting for the relationship a long time ago and finds denial and persistence repulsive.

The best thing you can do when your ex dumps you is to immediately accept the breakup and do your best to avoid showing strong emotions. Crying a little bit is okay even though it makes your ex feel guilty. But getting angry, vengeful, or resisting the breakup is a big no-no.

The moment you show you lack control over your actions, it’s game over. Your ex won’t just pity you but also feel annoyed and trapped by you.

Here’s when long-term relationships get back together.

Not every long-term relationship deserves another chance. Many relationships end so that the people involved can grow and be better equipped for the next relationship with whomever that may be. I know it’s hard to think that your relationship has ended, but try to look at your failed relationship as a lesson for you and your ex to learn and grow from.

Don’t be like those people who immediately start looking for someone else to date. Your dumper ex may do that, but your ex won’t learn anything from it. He or she will take a few steps backward in terms of self-growth as your ex will ignore problems and shortcomings and do nothing to increase the chances of his or her next relationship working out.

Now that your ex rejected you, use this opportunity to improve your flaws. Not only will that keep you busy, but it will also help you detach and make your next relationship better.

What can you do to increase the chances of your long-term relationship getting another chance?

Friends and people on the internet may tell you that you need to do something to impress your ex and win him or her back, but don’t fall for advice that sounds too good to be true. Don’t listen to anyone who says you can get your ex back by saying or doing something your ex might appreciate.

You have to keep your expectations low and remember that your ex is in a detached state.

He or she doesn’t care if you were together for a year or ten years. The length of the relationship is just a number. What matters the most is how your ex perceives you and feels about you. If your ex thinks you’re not worth being with romantically, you need to stay far away from your ex. You don’t have a choice because that’s what your ex signed up for.

He or she may want to be your friend, but you can’t agree to it and start acting like a friend. Friendship will reduce the chances of your ex seeing your worth as your ex will friend-zone you and use you for all kinds of relationship benefits. In essence, you’ll become your ex’s go-to person and stay on that same level for a very long time. Maybe forever.

If you want your ex to respect you, you need to take care of yourself. Do that by spending time with your friends, family, and new people rather than your ex. You don’t even need to brag about your new social life every time you do something interesting.

Your ex will find out about it on his/her own when it’s time for your ex to find out about it. And as we’ve already mentioned, that time will be when your ex finds himself or herself in a difficult situation and needs you back for various reasons. All you need to impress your ex is to stay in no contact, heal, enjoy your life, and wait for the breakup to flip upside down.

Once it has flipped, you will be having fun and feel in control of your life and your ex will be anxious and need you back for love and reassurance.

Are you still wondering if long-term relationships get back together? Do you want to get back together with an ex who dumped you? Share your thoughts below the article.

And if you’d like to learn more about breakups, sign up for coaching with us or check out our book on breakup dynamics.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Learn more about me or get in touch today.