Decoding Female Behavior After The Breakup

If your ex-girlfriend is acting strange or different after the breakup, this is completely normal. Most dumpers feel a surge of energy and relief after the breakup. They’re so happy to be out of the relationship and on their own that they immediately engage in activities they previously didn’t engage in or like.

This can be anything that keeps them busy, entertained, happy, or validated as these things take their attention off their ex and put it onto something or someone else. By diverting their attention away from their ex, they disassociate from their dumpee, get rid of behavioral patterns that were unique to the relationship, erase guilt, and regain their identity.

They have a fresh start—and it feels great to them. They’ve been waiting a long time to leave their ex, so they suddenly have a lot of energy to spare. They feel like they’re on cloud nine and that they must act on their emotions.

Female dumpers often seem like they’ve changed after the breakup. They make their dumpees wonder what happened to them and if they ever even knew them. The truth is that dumpees indeed knew their dumpers. They just never saw the side of them that felt smothered and wanted nothing to do with them.

Most of the time, they saw only the side of them that loved them and appreciated them. After the breakup, however, that changed quickly. Dumpers stopped being afraid of showing their true colors and acting out of character as they felt it was time to prioritize their needs and be happy. That’s why they started doing things that were new to them even if they previously disapproved of them.

Some dumpers are simply tired of playing by the book. They think they had a very restrictive relationship, so they let loose after the breakup and experience “true freedom.” They start dating, drinking, partying, meeting new people, and living their best life.

In their minds, they need to reinvent themselves and be the people they should have been while they were with their ex. If only they knew they’re not actually improving themselves. Engaging in new, strange, yet fun activities may teach them a few different ways of living life and expressing themselves, but personality-wise, they don’t change at all.

Dumpers can’t change by ignoring the past and focusing on having fun. The only way they can grow is if they don’t have fun and do the hard work. And hard work requires them to engage in introspection and regret making certain decisions.

Sadly, relieved dumpers don’t regret anything other than not leaving their relationship sooner. They want to have fun. That’s why they tend to learn valuable lessons many, many months later when they get their hearts broken by someone they like. That’s when they finally think about their behavior and decide to do something about it.

This article is for male dumpees who are interested in learning more about breakups and decoding female behavior after the breakup.

Decoding female behavior after the breakup

For some reason, women tend to get out of character after the breakup more often than guys. Perhaps they think they were controlled and couldn’t be themselves throughout the relationship and that they need to find themselves. Or maybe they’re just more emotional than guys and do more emotional things.

I’m not sure, but many female dumpers do the opposite of what they said they’d do or wouldn’t do. They quickly change their opinions and beliefs (especially if they meet someone else) and turn into people dumpees have never seen before.

This is why they confuse dumpees, affect dumpees’ self-esteem, and make them wonder if they weren’t good enough.

If your ex-girlfriend is acting differently than you’re used to and you’re trying to decode her behavior, don’t let her behavior affect you emotionally as well as rationally (the way you think). Bear in mind that if the breakup just happened that your ex currently feels empowered by the breakup. She’d been looking forward to the breakup, so she’s now experiencing post-breakup relief and elation.

These emotions are normal and expected as they’re a part of the dumper’s moving-on process. How strong these emotions are, however, depends on each individual. Broadly speaking, the more victimized, pressured, and smothered the dumper feels, the stronger emotions the dumper feels and the longer she’ll need to get through the stages of a breakup for the dumper.

The reason female behavior after the breakup is so difficult to decode is that dumpees are brokenhearted and extremely vulnerable to seeing behavior they aren’t familiar with. They are quick to take their ex’s behavior personally and think it has something to do with them being bad partners.

Although that can be the case if they were abusive, it’s much more likely that their ex just perceives them in a bad light and that she couldn’t wait to escape the relationship and focus on herself. Days and days of negative perceptions and emotions essentially transformed dumpers’ emotions into relief and made them act on it.

You shouldn’t blame yourself for this, though. Sure, you could have made fewer mistakes if you were more self-aware and mindful, but you were just being you. Your ex was still responsible for making sure her thoughts and emotions were healthy. If she didn’t do that and blamed you instead, she likely feels very relieved now and wants to enjoy her life as much as possible.

If she’s immature and vengeful, she may even post how happy she is on social media and try to hurt you.

What you need to understand is that you didn’t make your ex behave this way. People behave according to their personalities. And their personalities compose of maturity, self-esteem, ego, pride, self-control, self-awareness, morals, and the work they’d done on themselves.

If these things are not very good, you could see your ex say and do some really mean things. Things that attack you as a person and affect your self-esteem. You mustn’t take the things your ex does after the breakup to heart. Of course, listen to her feedback so you can improve, but don’t let her (behavior) criticize you and put you down.

The time after the breakup is meant for you to learn and grow. Don’t waste all your precious time analyzing your ex and decoding her post-breakup behavior. Make sure you do a little bit of both. The reason you need to “waste” your time on your ex a bit is so that you can understand what went wrong and why your ex is behaving the way she does.

If you decode her behavior quickly and efficiently, you should ease your anxiety and understand that her behavior has nothing to do with what you’re like as a person. It has everything to do with her relief, elation, and desire to do things differently.

Here are some things you should keep in mind when you’re decoding female behavior after the breakup.

Many dumpees expect breakups to work the same way as relationships, but those dumpees quickly learn that breakups are different in many ways. The biggest difference is that dumpers can’t be reasoned with anymore. They’re no longer interested in resolving relationship matters through communication. There is no more relationship to discuss, so they want to focus on themselves and do things that distract them and bring them joy.

If you stick around and try to make your ex invest energy and time that she doesn’t have, you could see a very angry ex-girlfriend. You could see that her patience is gone and that she won’t hesitate to do what feels right and is best for her.

You better give her space or she could hurt you badly.

Confusing things dumpers do after a breakup

We’ve already mentioned that dumpers often focus on having fun and doing things that give them instant satisfaction. They aren’t thinking about the future or the past very much because they feel empowered and want to make use of their empowerment in the present moment.

That’s why they tend to stay busy and leave their exes alone for quite some time.

This, unfortunately, isn’t true for all dumpers. Many dumpers don’t want to leave their exes alone because they feel guilty or attached to their exes. They want to keep their exes around for convenience and self-forgiveness, so they occasionally reach out and appear to be friendly with their exes.

Such dumpers confuse their exes and give them loads of false hope. They make their exes think the relationship is salvageable and that they need to do their best to impress their dumpers and win them back. Little do they know that there is no such thing as “winning an ex back.” Dumpees like to think that there is, but the truth is that there isn’t as they can’t reattract their exes emotionally.

They can’t make their exes forget the past, disassociate negative emotions from their persona, and create an incentive for their exes that would make their exes excited or desperate for love and connection.

Their exes are more often than not emotionally burnt out and can’t give an exhausting relationship another chance. In all fairness, they don’t want to even consider it as the thought of reconnecting with an ex smothers them and makes them feel uncomfortable.

They’d rather just stay friends or settle for friendship with benefits if they still find their exes physically attractive.

You mustn’t assume that an ex who reaches out wants you back or is coming back. If things are going fine for your ex emotionally, she probably just wants to know you don’t have any hard feelings and that you’re okay with talking once in a while.

She wants to see that she hasn’t wasted years of her life with you and that she can move on without guilt, shame, or indignation.

Apart from breadcrumbing, your ex might also post various things online. She could post happy selfies, pictures with other guys, places she visits, and the things she’s realized since the breakup. Whatever you do, don’t decode her behavior in a way that makes you doubt your worth as a person.

If she’s having fun and appears to be moving on, she’s just enjoying her relief phase and doing what she’s been wanting to do for a long time. The most important thing you need to understand is that decoding female behavior post-breakup won’t help you get your ex back nor change your ex’s behavior.

Obsessing will only make you feel a little better (more hopeful) as you’ll feel more in control after you’ve found out something you shouldn’t have.

So if your ex’s behavior is hurting you, stop checking up on your ex. Unfollow or delete her if you need to. When you do, your irresistible urge to understand her behavior will wane as you won’t keep getting hurt and confused. You’ll slowly put your focus back on yourself.

It can be painful to see your ex dress up, use makeup, go out more, and do all the things you wanted her to do with you. That’s why the key to resolving this matter is to push your ex out of sight. That will keep her out of your mind as much as possible and allow you to keep detaching and getting over her.

My advice is to decode her behavior only when you’re anxious and need to analyze her behavior to ease your anxiety.

How to decode female behavior after the breakup?

The easiest way to decode your ex’s behavior after the breakup is to put yourself in your ex’s shoes and ask yourself why you would do what your ex is doing if you were her.

Try to look at her behavior from different angles and learn why dumpers do the things they do. People in the Magnet of Success Discord channel may be able to help you with some of your burning questions as they’ve been through all sorts of confusing scenarios.

Anyway, you should soon understand that your ex is just being herself and that if she wanted you back that she would have done more than disorient you. She would have shown romantic interest in you, appeared desperate for validation, and asked you back.

If you’re not sure how to decode your ex’s post-breakup behavior, you can always ask your friends about it. They’ll be able to see things more clearly than you. Just make sure to ask those who have breakup experience and know why dumpers act unpredictably. If you ask the wrong person, he or she could advise you to contact your ex and tell her you love her.

That obviously won’t work, so be careful. Don’t do anything that shows you’re thinking about your ex and want to communicate.

Something that may help you process the breakup faster is journaling your observations. This is because journaling will help you express yourself and calm down. It will allow you to detach and see that your ex’s behavior most likely lacks interest, enthusiasm, or concern.

Always keep your expectations and hope low so that you don’t think your ex wants love from you. If she’s messaging you, she likely just wants support, friendship, or information that you’re doing okay and that she can date another person with a clear conscience.

Are you intent on decoding female behavior after the breakup? How are you doing that? Let us know below the post.

And if you want our help decoding female behavior after the breakup, get in touch with us here.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.