What makes a man commit isn’t a woman who tries to pressure him to commit, but rather a woman who inspires him to commit. He commits when he feels respected as a person and a partner and sees long-term romantic potential.
Long-term potential includes many relationship benefits such as healthy communication, emotional connection, support, love, stability, and happiness.
A man doesn’t typically decide to be with a woman just because a woman wants him to. Usually, he needs to see that the woman he likes shares similar values, goals, maturity, ability to grow, a compatible love language, and communication style. She has to be identical in ways that feel natural to him, bring out the best in him, and allow him and his girlfriend to grow together.
If he sees that his potential partner doesn’t understand him, fulfill him, or isn’t open to working together as a couple, he has no reason to stay and commit. Committing would make him feel trapped and exhausted. Ultimately, it would make him miserable and delay the inevitable – his departure.
To be frank, a man doesn’t commit when a woman tells him what to believe and how to behave. There may be room for growth, but he doesn’t want his potential partner to treat him like a child. He’s a grown man and wants to be treated as such even if he doesn’t always act maturely and make the best decisions.
When a woman strongly pushes her own opinion on him, the man perceives it as criticism. He thinks she dislikes him and doesn’t trust him with his decisions and behavior. That makes him feel controlled and scared of being in a committed romantic relationship with her. He fears that if he commits, she’ll become overly possessive and make his life even more difficult.
That’s just one reason a man refuses to commit to a woman. Another possibility is that he needs more time to get to know the woman. She may have developed feelings and become ready to commit, but that doesn’t mean he’s ready too. He may develop feelings at a slower rate due to his personality or negative things that happened to him.
If he was abandoned as a child or recently as a partner, he may have experienced strong feelings of rejection and needs to learn to trust again. This means he needs to work on himself and be 100% certain that he won’t get hurt by you. Because he’s not certain that you won’t disappoint and hurt him, he’s keeping his distance both emotionally and commitment-wise.
Distance lets him control his attachment to you and prevents him from experiencing gut-wrenching separation anxiety.
If a man isn’t emotionally ready to be in a relationship, he won’t commit to you no matter how nice and patient you are. He’ll think it’s unsafe to do that and that he first needs to feel a strong urge to be with you. If he doesn’t stop being afraid and develop strong feelings, he may eventually start to believe that the risks outweigh the rewards and that he needs to end his friendship with you.
Although some men give in to pressure and commit, they tend not to stay committed for long. When they grow tired of meeting their partner’s needs and expectations, they learn that they use way more energy than they gain and that they should cut their partner off to focus on themselves. They just need to be brave and state the reason for initiating the breakup.
Keep in mind that what makes a man commit is a woman who fulfills his relationship expectations and values his personality, time, money, and effort. Men may not be as emotionally and verbally expressive as women, but they nonetheless wish to be praised for their deeds. They want to know that the woman they’re with appreciates them and wants to do what’s best for the relationship.
It’s not just one factor that makes a man want to commit. Men have various qualities they look for in a partner. I can’t speak for all men, but they want a woman to look and act a certain way. She has to meet their standards and make them feel needed and important.
Men will not commit if they strongly believe that their partner isn’t attractive and/or can’t give them what they look for in romance. Instead of focusing on the positives and changing their beliefs, they’ll focus on reasons not to commit. They’ll commit only if they somehow manage to change their relationship standards and/or perception of the person they’re seeing.
That means that they’ll do what they want to do. If they want to stay with a woman and string her along for selfish benefits, they’ll string her along. They’ll do it because they’ll benefit from her. They’ll get sex, companionship, or other benefits she provides in hopes of receiving commitment.
Such men lose interest when a woman develops strong feelings and expectations and expresses unhappiness. That’s when they leave and claim that they’re not on the same wavelength. They make some kind of excuse and try to justify their lack of effort and commitment.
If you’ve been with someone for months without any progress, that person may not be the right person for you. He may not be ready to date you or anyone. Without pressuring the person you’re seeing, find out what he’s looking for in a partner and determine if you meet his criteria. You want to ensure that you both have feelings and expectations and that you’re both willing to put the work in.
You might learn that your dating candidate doesn’t want a serious relationship and that he just wants relationship perks for free. That would hurt you badly, but at least you’ll stop working on impressing this person and wasting your valuable time and feelings. Instead of staying hopeful, you’ll trigger a breakup and force yourself to stop fantasizing.
In this post, we discuss what makes a man commit.
What makes a man commit?
Simply put, what makes a man commit is genuine love. He needs to be mentally, physically, and emotionally invested in you and see the value you bring to the table. He needs to understand that you’re unique and that he could lose you (and suffer) if he doesn’t act quickly and secure a place in your heart.
He could lose your patience and interest and risk getting replaced by someone who sees the positives of being with you. Therefore, a sense of urgency is important. A guy must understand that he can’t stay uncommitted to you forever and expect you to happily give him what he wants.
He must know that healthy relationships progress and eventually lead to commitment. Those who don’t commit usually still have feelings for their ex or different priorities in life. Being in a committed relationship isn’t at the top of their priority list because they value different things or people. This is common for those who prioritize education, careers, friendships, or hobbies over dating and settling down.
You see, men who strongly love their partner don’t make their partner wait a year to commit. They understand that commitment gives them and their partner a sense of accomplishment and security. It makes them both happy, so they want to be in a committed relationship, do relationship things, and strive toward common relationship goals.
Therefore, a man must see the benefits of committing and be ready to commit. If he’s used to dating a new girl every week and being in non-committed friends-with-benefits relationships, he first needs to mature and want something serious. He must also care about his partner’s feelings and needs and understand that he must either commit or let her go.
He can’t continue to make her think that they’re on the same page about the relationship.
If he just needs a bit more time to get to know the woman he’s seeing, he mustn’t get pressured by her or his friends and family into making a decision sooner. If he feels pressured, he could get overwhelmed and run away to protect his thoughts and emotions.
Also, keep in mind that men usually aren’t the first ones to commit. Many times, they wait for their female partner to bring up exclusivity. I suppose they don’t want to come across as highly emotional, clingy, or needy—so they want the woman to express her emotions before they express theirs.
Many guys are scared of coming on too strong, so they choose to play it safe and wait for their partner to make the first move and do the hard work.
Although each man finds different values, personalities, traits, and looks attractive, it’s no secret that most men find femininity, emotional self-control, and independence attractive. They may not be against being with someone who needs physical or financial assistance, but they nonetheless admire women who don’t need but rather want a relationship.
They find such women attractive because they’re strong, independent, and committed to a cause beyond the relationship. For these women, a relationship is a meaningful addition to their life, not their sole focus. That makes guys want them more and treat them better.
A woman must be confident and have a fulfilling life outside of a romantic relationship. If she has things going on in her life, she appears more attractive and valuable to her potential long-term partner. That’s because she loves herself and has hobbies, knowledge, and experience to add to the relationship.
She’s less afraid of breaking up and being alone than someone who doesn’t have any hobbies or friends.
All in all, a man commits when he gets something out of commitment. Don’t expect him to commit just because others do it. If he doesn’t have feelings or doesn’t share the same values and vision, he’s with you for reasons that have nothing to do with love. He probably won’t fall in love because it was never his intention to do so.
Having said that, here are 7 things that make a man want to commit.
How to make a man want to commit?
Women can’t and shouldn’t try to make a man do something he doesn’t want to do. If he’s not ready or willing to be in a committed relationship, he shouldn’t be pressured to be in one. He should be considered a red flag and someone they are unlikely to end up with.
He could commit later if the issue is emotional unavailability. If he’s not unavailable, then the chances of that are slim. He’ll probably continue to self-prioritize and look for excuses not to commit.
You shouldn’t force an unavailable man to commit. Instead, you should accept that he’s not ready to be with you and that you must detach and look for happiness elsewhere. He can’t make you happy if he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings and want you in his life as a romantic partner.
So whatever you do, don’t try to make a man want to commit by force. Force will tell him you don’t care about him and want him to go against his feelings. When he knows that you only want what’s best for you, he’ll likely become angry and bitter and lose trust and respect.
If you hope to be with him in the future, you shouldn’t end things on a bad note. Instead of burning your bridges, you should part ways with respect and maturity and make it possible for him to return when/if he gets his life in order and feels ready to commit.
The decision to commit is his alone. No one can force him to be with you if he has unresolved issues and/or doesn’t want to be with you. He’s solely responsible for what he thinks and feels and what he must do to be with you. He’s well aware of that.
The problem is that he’s currently not where he needs to be to devote himself to being your exclusive partner. Whether he has feelings for a former partner or questions your ability to make him happy, he’s not worried about securing his future with you. For now, all he cares about is the present moment.
While his focus is solely on today, you should learn if his love for you is increasing, stagnating, or decreasing. His love, which can be measured by the direction in which the relationship is moving, will tell you how he feels and whether you should keep getting to know him.
If his adoration peaked weeks ago and he hasn’t shown any signs of improvement since, it probably won’t go back to how it was. It will stay the same or continue to decrease.
When a man is into you for the right reasons, he’s more than infatuated. He understands your value and wants you to make his life better. He expresses this desire by committing to you and making you the most important person in his life.
So if you’re not making any progress despite your best efforts, don’t waste any more of your time on him. Consider the guy unwilling to be exclusive and grow with you. He may want to explore other options or be single for a while before he decides to invest his energy and time into a new romantic relationship.
You need to end things with him, so you don’t fall deeper in love and experience gut-wrenching separation anxiety.
What do you think makes a man commit? Share your thoughts on this subject below. We’ll respond shortly.
However, if you need help with a man who won’t commit, feel free to reach out. We’ll figure out why he’s stringing you along and giving you false hope.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
