If your ex left you for someone else, you must be in unimaginable pain. You’re suffering like never before and in ways you didn’t even know was possible. The main questions on your mind are when the pain will stop and if your ex will ever regret leaving you for someone else.
Although you’ll definitely feel better as you detach, evolve, and rebuild your self-esteem, your ex’s return and love for you may remain uncertain. It’s nearly impossible to predict whether and when your ex will regret dumping you for another person because you don’t know what kind of life or relationship problems your ex will encounter.
If your ex is immature and incapable of maintaining a relationship, you can deduce that your ex’s relationship or relationships after you won’t be successful and long-lasting. They’ll likely fail when your ex encounters relationship challenges and responds to them similarly to how he or she responded during the relationship with you.
It’d be unreasonable to assume that your ex will do better simply because he or she has left you for someone else. Whether your ex comes back when the relationship ends, however, is another story.
It depends on many uncontrollable factors, such as:
- How your ex perceives you (does your ex even respect and like you)?
- Is your ex capable of reflection and growth?
- Can your ex let go of resentment and difficult emotions from the past?
- Can your ex deal with new relationship challenges?
- What is your ex’s new relationship like?
- What will your ex realize when his/her relationship ends?
All these things determine whether your ex becomes nostalgic and regretful when things go south in your ex’s new relationship. The most important thing that needs to happen is for your ex to fail, get hurt, and become miserable. General unhappiness could lead to important reflections and realizations necessary for coming back after leaving you for someone else.
Your behavior is important, but it’s not as important as the kind of people your ex and his or her new partner are, how developed and compatible they are, and how prepared they are for a new serious relationship. Dumpers tend not to rebound after leaving their ex for someone else. But some do experience problems with patience as their new partner’s negative traits and behaviors remind them of their previous partner (the things they didn’t like).
They think their new partner has flaws, insecurities, and a personality too similar to their ex and that it may be better for them to find someone totally opposite of their ex. Someone who doesn’t remind them of their recent ex.
So remember that your ex will regret leaving you for someone else only if the new person is too similar to you or if they face problems they lack the tools or willpower to resolve. Of course, your ex will also have to be capable of engaging in productive self-reflection and understanding that the relationship he or she had with you was fulfilling but that he or she (emotionally) cheated and left when the temptation to bond with someone else got out of control.
When your ex understands the severity of his or her faulty thinking and emotionally driven behavior, your ex could rediscover your romantic worth and come back to give the abandoned relationship another chance. Just remember that something will have to go wrong in the new relationship and that your ex will have to experience a lot of regret, pain, and anxiety.
He or she will have to feel so miserable that the only thing that can patch his or her wounds is safety and comfort in a relationship with you. Your ex won’t come back after leaving you for someone else just because the relationship with you was decent or great—even. Your ex will come back if the new person uses, abuses, hurts, or disappoints your ex and makes your ex realize that life was way better when he or she was with you.
The realization that you used to provide various relationship perks could suddenly dawn on your ex and entice your ex to reconnect with you before it’s too late.
So if you want to know if your ex will regret leaving you for someone else, bear in mind that it depends on how they get along and how ready and willing they are to maintain the relationship. Many couples start well and appear inseparable 3 or 4 months into the relationship. But then something unpredictable like an argument happens and breaks them up, forcing them to look for validation and happiness elsewhere.
Oftentimes, they look for it from their exes as their exes were the ones who made them feel accepted and needed.
You have to understand that if your ex comes back after leaving you for someone else, it will be because your ex will fail to find happiness with the new person. He or she will consider you a backup plan for his or her lack of success and a person who could quickly ease his or her anxiety. It won’t be a fairytale story. It will be a relationship that gets another chance because the end of the previous relationship triggered pain and various needs.
In this post, we answer the question “Will my ex come back after leaving me for someone else” and give you some necessary tips for handling the abandonment confidently.
Will my ex regret leaving me for someone else?
If you want your ex back after he or she has left you for someone else, you’ve got to understand that your ex developed feelings for someone else. Your ex developed a tight emotional bond that will need to break before your ex can even think about being with you.
This means your ex’s feelings and relationship goals will need to cease to exist. This will happen only if the relationship fails to give your ex the satisfaction he or she expects from the relationship and forces your ex to give up altogether.
At the moment, your ex probably doesn’t feel like giving up. If the relationship is new, your ex is able to extract various benefits and feelings from the relationship and thinks the new person is the best romantic partner he or she could have asked for. Your ex doesn’t yet see, nor care about the issues he or she will encounter when the relationship progresses.
All your ex cares about is the love hormones the relationship provides to him or her on a daily basis.
Eventually, though, your ex won’t feel validated and elated just for being loved and feeling desired. Your ex will actually have to work on the relationship and bonding and communicate properly to feel that his or her partner is a good romantic match.
That’s when the relationship will get out of the infatuation stage and require your ex to maintain the relationship like any other couple. Your ex will basically put his or her relationship skills to the test and see if they’re compatible as a couple long-term.
That’s why it’s hard to say if your ex will regret leaving you for someone else. Not only is the longevity of his/her relationship difficult to predict but so is your ex’s thinking after the relationship has ended. No one can guarantee what your ex will do because it depends on who breaks up with who, how your ex copes with rejections or stressful situations, what your ex’s policy about getting back with ex-partners is, and most importantly, how your ex perceives you.
If you begged and pleaded for months on end, your ex probably doesn’t see you as an equal who can provide validation and get rid of his or her rejection pain. At best, your ex considers you a person he or she can rely on for emotional support and various relationship perks your ex can’t get without you. This includes perks that help your ex cope with certain issues but don’t encourage your ex to get back into a relationship with you.
It’s important to remember that how you present yourself as a dumpee is extremely important. Begging, sending love letters, and showing up at your ex’s house unannounced obviously won’t help your ex regret losing you. Such behaviors will make your ex think you’re desperate for love and that he or she should appreciate the person he or she is with much more.
So try to understand that your job as a person who was left for someone else is to avoid making things worse. Instead of trying to control the situation by force and appearing validation-starved, you must give your ex the space he or she needs to date the new person. This may be the last thing you want your ex to do, but you don’t have a choice. You must let your ex date the new person and let them figure out if they have enough in common to stay together in the long run.
At first, it may seem that they do, but things may fall apart when they get to know each other. When that happens, your ex’s coping mechanism and perception of you will determine whether your ex comes back or moves on and finds someone else.
If your ex has a tendency to come back to exes (especially due to an anxious attachment style), your ex could run back to you when your ex experiences pain and runs out of people to be with. Anxiety and other unpleasant emotions associated with regret could cause your ex to miss the good times from the past and urge your ex to experience them again.
Having said that, here are some things that determine if your ex will regret leaving you for someone else.
How to steal your ex from another person?
You can’t steal your ex from another person, especially when your ex is in love and determined to keep getting to know his or her new partner. If you contact your ex and tell your ex you can make him or her happier, you’ll only make yourself look obsessed and unattractive. This is because you’ll compete with your ex and tell your ex he or she has made the wrong decision.
As far as your ex is concerned, he or she has made the right decision. Your ex is certain the new person evokes stronger feelings and that the relationship has the potential to be long-term. As long as your ex believes that, you shouldn’t be anywhere near your ex. You should be giving your ex space and keeping your heart protected.
Your ex must see on his or her own that the new person isn’t a good match for him or her and that you were a much better partner. When your ex sees this, your ex could come back, provided he or she believes in second chances and wants your love and recognition badly enough. A desire to be in a meaningful relationship could cause your ex to reach out and ask for forgiveness.
You don’t have to wait for your ex’s new relationship to fail. You also don’t have to talk to your ex all the time. You just have to be mindful of your ex’s new relationship and give your ex a chance to explore the new relationship. Now, there’s no guarantee that your ex’s new relationship will fail and trigger all the fears necessary for your ex to come back.
But if you want to try despite a lack of guarantee, you have to be patient and avoid telling your ex you want to be with him or her. Your insecurities may be emotionally draining and constantly telling you to try to win your ex back with determination and love, but do your best not to listen to them. As difficult as it may be, listen to the rational voices in your head.
Your logic and emotional self-control could be the deciding factor in whether your ex regains respect and feelings for you or moves on to another person.
So if you want your ex back even though he or she is with someone else, remember that your ex will regret leaving you only if things go really bad for your ex and make your ex realize:
- You were a better partner.
- You’re the only person available to your ex, willing to give him or her another chance.
Hopefully, your ex will realize the relationship with you was fulfilling and is worth giving another chance. When your ex reaches that conclusion, expect your ex to contact you and get back together with you very quickly. Your ex won’t wait long because your ex will be in a regretful state of mind and in a hurry to feel validated and loved.
My advice is to give up on your ex for now and avoid trying to manipulate your ex to come back to you. Avoid posting jealousy-evoking posts on social media and things that could annoy or hurt your ex. If you post too much and too many provocative things on social media, your ex could get irritated and mute, delete, or block you.
It’s best to decrease the risk of pushing your ex away by posting no more than before. Show your ex you’re moving on and that you’re not bragging or pretending your new life is so much better than the life with your ex. If your ex comes back, it will be when the new relationship fails and triggers a desire for love and commitment.
You must wait for life to give your ex lemons and make your ex realize he or she took you for granted. Everything will fall into place on its own when your ex runs into relationship difficulties and learns your romantic value because of it.
Are you still wondering when your ex will regret leaving you for someone else? Share your thoughts and worries in the comments area below. We’ll reply shortly.
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My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
Well I like to think she does, but again it might just be wishful thinking.
Thank you, Zan, for always helping me go through the healing process!
Forever grateful for your help 💌