The decision to block or ignore an ex is never simple. It’s usually a complex decision that depends on multiple factors, such as who dumped who, what your ex is saying or doing, how your ex makes you feel, and what you’ve tried to stop your ex from interacting with you or bothering/hurting you.
If your ex is just contacting you (not threatening you) and you haven’t asked your ex for space, you obviously shouldn’t do either. You shouldn’t block or ignore your ex before you’ve tried to explain that you’re not ready for communication and that you want some space to focus on yourself.
Healthy communication after the breakup is just as important as healthy communication before the breakup. If you don’t express yourself properly, your ex won’t know how you feel and what you want. Your ex will assume that you want to talk/be friends and that you’re ready for the same type of relationship as him.
Always remember that your ex doesn’t feel how you feel. Whether your ex is a dumper or a dumpee, his feelings, problems, and expectations differ from yours. I would say that they’re completely opposite and that your ex won’t understand you or perhaps even care about you until your ex has processed negative breakup emotions and considered you an equal.
You could force your ex to respect you by ignoring and/or blocking your ex, but you might not get the desired results.
If you ignore your ex, your ex won’t know why you’re ignoring him. Your ex could assume you’re angry or busy and try reaching out days or weeks later. The communication will be postponed and continue for as long as your ex thinks that talking to you is worth his time and effort and that you might come back around.
Ignore your ex only in the sense of not walking up to your ex and starting a conversation. Your ex probably doesn’t want to see you and be forced to talk to you.
Not unless you see him looking at you for a prolonged period or walking up to you.
If you block your ex, on the other hand, you’ll cut your ex off completely. You won’t receive any more texts and calls from your dumper ex—and will be allowed to heal. The only problem is that your ex will likely completely give up on you and move forward with his life.
Your ex won’t contact you or be able to contact you if he has a change of heart.
Both ignoring and blocking should be your last resort. They should be considered only when communication has failed and you have no choice but to force your ex out of your life. If your ex isn’t listening and respecting your space, privacy, and healing, you can ignore your ex and give him no choice but to give you the space and respect you need.
You don’t have to keep talking to your ex and explaining yourself when your ex doesn’t see that talking to you is confusing you, giving you hope, and making you overthink.
You also don’t have to keep talking to your ex if your ex is verbally abusive and dangerous to you and your loved ones. You can just block your ex and be done with your ex. Blocking will help you keep your ex away from you and help you feel safe.
Another time you can block your ex is when you can’t avoid stalking your ex online and overanalyzing his behavior. Whether your ex is posting happy posts or looking depressed and giving you hope, blocking could help you filter out unnecessary information and avoid hurting you.
It could help you avoid emotional setbacks caused by your ex’s breadcrumbs and online posts.
But if you want your ex back and have enough self-control not to feel depressed and obsessed over your ex’s social media, then blocking isn’t the best thing to do. As I’ve mentioned before, it could make your ex negatively interpret your behavior and prevent your ex from respecting you and coming back.
Block your dumper ex only if you’re done with your ex and want to be left alone or if you can’t stop stalking your ex and analyzing his social media posts (old or recent). Blocking will help you feel better, but it will likely cost you your ex’s respect and a potential relationship that may or may not develop from it.
As you can see, ignoring and blocking have both pros and cons. The pros are that they tell your ex you value yourself, give you a temporary sense of empowerment, and let you deal with the breakup. The cons, however, are that they aren’t appropriate for all situations.
They’re final (often immoral) courses of action that annoy the other party and significantly lower your chances of getting back together.
Due to different views and feelings, your ex likely won’t understand them and feel tempted to contact you and reconcile. On the contrary, your ex will probably think more negatively of you and focus on other people and things.
So don’t ignore or block your ex if you want your ex back. Don’t do it unless your ex keeps reaching out, saying mean or confusing things, and ignoring your need to heal. In that case, you can ignore or better yet, block your ex and stop him from messing with your head.
Ignoring and blocking are available to you when communication is impossible, and your safety is on the line.
Don’t ignore or block your ex just because you’re hurt by your ex’s decisions, lack of feelings, and post-breakup happiness. Your ex may no longer want to be with you (and may even be with someone else), but that is not a good reason to block your ex. Your ex deserves to make his own choices and be happy (even if it’s not with you).
He’s allowed to focus on things and people who interest him and make him feel good.
If you ignore or block your ex just because your ego got hurt, you’ll act on your anxiety, pain, and insecurity and push your ex away solely because you hate seeing your ex happy and want your ex to fail and validate you. You won’t distance yourself from your ex because you want to learn, grow, and succeed in life.
Look, it’s okay to feel hurt and angry. Your ex rejected you and made your love and efforts seem irrelevant. He wasted a lot of your time and forced you to find a different path in life. Despite that, you don’t want to punish your ex directly by ignoring him. Believe it or not, but you’ll hurt yourself more than your ex.
Not only will your ex not get as hurt as you want him to, but your ex will also confirm his reasons for dumping you. Your ex will see that you resolve problems and difficult emotions by avoiding them rather than confronting them.
Moreover, you’ll develop a pattern of ignoring or blocking people who don’t give you what you want.
You want to avoid going backwards because of your ex by understanding that ignoring and blocking isn’t the most moral thing to do. It’s your last-ditch effort to break free from your ex when you’ve tried everything else.
So try not to ignore your ex or block your ex unless you need to. Try to resolve different needs and expectations verbally before you resort to desperate measures.
In this post, we discuss when you should block and ignore your ex.
Should I block my ex or ignore him if I was dumped?
If you’re looking for information on whether you should ignore your ex or just block him, you need to know that it’s not a simple do this or do that kind of answer. As a dumpee, the most important thing is your health. If your ex keeps ignoring your requests for space by reaching out and making your healing difficult, you can block your ex as soon as you know your ex doesn’t care about your health.
This will let you focus on yourself without constant reminders of your ex and emotional setbacks.
But if your ex is drunk-dialing or booty-calling you (something your ex typically doesn’t do), then you can ignore your ex and show him you won’t entertain him. Your ex needs to see that he needs to respect your boundaries otherwise he’ll get ignored or blocked.
Sometimes dumpers overstep their ex’s boundaries and say or do stupid things. In those cases, you can tell them they went too far or ignore them if they call you (late at night) and annoy you with their (sexual) cravings.
If your ex expects relationship benefits and friendship for free, you must tell your ex you’re no longer together and that he must give you space to focus on your own life. You shouldn’t let him contact you and demand things from you whenever he wants. As a dumpee, you must keep your ex physically and emotionally away from you.
Don’t let him say and do things that are meant for couples.
If you can’t stop your ex from doing that the nice way (by talking about it), you can do it the hard way (by ignoring or blocking him). You can first try to ignore your ex and/or warn your ex to see how your ex responds to it. And if things don’t change after that, you can block your ex and force your ex to respect you.
You don’t have to (and shouldn’t) tolerate breadcrumbs and disrespectful behavior. Politeness is expected of you only when your ex understands and cares about your health, feelings, and happiness. When your ex doesn’t respect you and care about you, you must prioritize your safety and well-being by keeping your ex so far away from you that your ex can’t hurt you.
Whether you should block or ignore your ex depends on your ex’s behavior toward you and his understanding of what he’s doing to you mentally and emotionally. If your ex is doing something disrespectful and crossing your boundaries for the first time, blocking may not be necessary.
You can either ignore your ex and let it slide or tell your ex he went too far.
But if you’ve warned your ex not to do certain things and your ex kept doing them anyway, then you can block your ex and enjoy the peace and quiet. You don’t need to feel bad because your ex doesn’t feel bad either. Your ex lacks self-awareness, empathy, or understanding of breakups. Whatever the case may be, blocking will help you feel better and regain control of your emotions.
It won’t, however, bring your ex back. It doesn’t have that kind of power because your ex lacks feelings and romantic expectations. He needs to first fail in some way that makes him rediscover your romantic value.
If you block your ex for no reason (just because the relationship didn’t go your way), your ex will find you impulsive and have fewer reasons to want to be with you. Keep that in mind before you block your ex and be done with him for good.
All in all, ignoring and blocking are difficult choices to make. Both could lead to a loss of respect and prevent your ex from rediscovering your worth. Make sure to understand the effects they could have on your ex if you still have feelings for your ex and want your ex to come back.
Having said that, here’s an infographic showing when you should ignore or block your ex.
In simple words, ignore your ex if your ex did something disrespectful once, and block your ex if he keeps doing it or makes you lose feelings and/or respect.
Should I ignore or block my ex if I dumped my ex?
If you left your ex, you should avoid ignoring and blocking your ex and remember that your ex has feelings and expectations that will take him a while to get rid of. It’s impossible to say how long it will take your ex, but if your ex was with you for months, he probably developed romantic feelings and saw himself staying with you long-term.
He’ll need to process the separation and deepen his self-love to stop relying on you. He’ll be able to do that quicker if you give him closure (answer his questions – multiple times if necessary), support him emotionally, and show him you respect him as a person.
You’d want to receive a response too if the situation was reversed.
Your ex doesn’t expect, nor deserve to get ignored and blocked. Not unless he’s disrespectful, aggressive, and dangerous—and doesn’t see or care how his words and actions make you feel. I know that talking to an ex who suffocates and angers you isn’t on top of your priority list, but you’ve got to understand that your ex is going through an extremely difficult experience.
It may be the hardest predicament of his life. Not only does he feel rejected, but he also feels lost, confused, and worthless. He’ll have to rebuild his self-esteem from the ground up and find different support systems and life goals.
Try not to feel pressured, but you must help him get back on his feet. Talk to him when he’s struggling and leave him alone when he’s not. If he’s doing fine, you can just say that you should both get some space from each other and focus on moving forward with your lives.
You don’t need to be friends with him and introduce him to the people you date after him (that would be really weird). If you broke up with him, let him go and allow him to find someone else when he’s ready.
If he begs for love and forgiveness, explain to him that the relationship has ended and that you’ll talk to him when he needs you. When he doesn’t need you, however, you’ll be giving him space and letting him regain his strength and independence.
Ignore or block him only if he becomes aggressive, violent, flirtatious, manipulative, too friendly, or a nuisance to your new partner. You shouldn’t start a new relationship so quickly, but if you do, keep your ex out of it. Give enough space to each other to leave the past behind and recover emotionally.
Make rational decisions
If your ex did something to hurt you, you likely feel emotional and tempted to ignore or block your ex. You want your ex not to mess with your feelings and either take you back or leave you alone. You don’t want your ex to keep texting or calling you and affecting your healing process.
Unsolicited reach-outs don’t help you feel better because they’re not about getting back together and easing your pain. They’re about your ex’s wants, needs, and expectations.
Sometimes ignoring and blocking an ex seems like the right thing to do, but most of the time, it’s far from it. It’s purely an emotional decision that helps you feel a tiny bit of control. Ignoring and blocking could make you question your morality and chances of getting back together with your ex.
When you cool off and crave validation and control again, you could regret acting on emotions and contact your ex to see if your chances of reconciliation have changed.
If you don’t want that to happen, I urge you not to take any drastic actions. Remember that ignoring and blocking could make your ex feel disrespected and that he could lose respect and punish you. Your ex could react to your emotion-driven behavior and destroy your hope for reconciliation.
Resort to drastic measures only when you don’t have any other choice and are willing to lose or risk losing your ex forever. If you’re okay with that, it means that you know what’s best for you and that you have the strength not to communicate anymore.
Some dumpees ignore or block to teach their ex a lesson. They want to show their ex they love themselves more than their ex and that they can be happy without their ex.
But because their emotions and self-love fluctuate daily, they often unblock their ex and message their ex back. They show their ex they weren’t in their right mind and that they still need their ex to validate them. Their indecisiveness makes them look emotionally unbalanced, unpredictable, and perhaps even dangerous.
It makes their ex want to stay away and talk to safer and more reliable people.
So take the advice in this article into consideration and figure out whether you should block your ex, ignore him, or explain why you don’t want to talk (ask for space). Soon, you’ll know what is best for you as well as your ex.
Let us know what you’ve decided in the comments below. We love hearing from you.
And lastly, if you need help with ignoring, blocking, or communicating with your ex, feel free to reach out to us. We can help you make a moral decision that aligns with your needs and expectations.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
I removed my ex off insta after making it clear that i dont want friendship and i still love her, i went no contact… 2 months after she followed my public account again… she also sent an accidental text… I never responded to either (her following me liking all my posts, watching stories and the text) and chose to remove her once again off my insta since I never got a proper reach out… I’m not sure if what I did was right. I’m the dumpee btw. I really do wish we could reconcile…
Hi Caleb.
You’ve made it clear you’re not interested in friendship, so she has to reach out and express the wish to reconcile. Don’t unblock her now that she knows she’s blocked. It could just give her the wrong idea.
Sincerely,
Zan
I removed my ex from all social media 3 weeks after the breakup, when I found out she monkeybranched just a week after our breakup. To this dude she had known for a while.
At first I was genuine for us to be able to continue as friends, we have our mutual friends and gatherings and we promised them to keep it cordial. And also, she and I were good friends before becoming a couple and I also had a great connection with her kids, dog and cat.
When I finally got a reply from her (after being ignored and stonewalled for several days)I told her that I removed her from social media because it was too difficult for me. She said that I didn’t have to remove her for her sake (don’t know what she meant by that) and she told me she understood that it hurts and that I could call her if I needed to. After that I was completely ignored again, when I tried to call once she didn’t even answer and called back many hours later, and she sounded cold. That was when I started no contact. The only reach out was 3 months later when she wished me happy birthday in a group chat with our friends, along with everyone else. I kept it short and just replied with a happy smiley to the whole chat. After that, not a word.
Right now I am happy I removed her. Even though I was hurt I seemed to be the only one who valued the connection. I didn’t want to loose the gatherings with our friends, the connection with her kids etc. But I see that I was alone with those thoughts.
She still has my number and she still has our mutual friends if she ever has to reach out, so I haven’t completely blocked her.
Her oldest son recently added me on instagram but I never added him back. He never seemed to like or comment any of my posts so I completely removed him a few weeks later.
I have nothing against her kids, but I have to remove myself from a situation I am not welcomed in.
Hi Gordon.
Cutting off her family must have been hard, but it was necessary. Distancing yourself from the past helped you focus on the present and allowed you to heal. You must keep doing that. Don’t get curious about her, unblock her, and reach out, thinking she might think differently about you. Dumpees who do that reopen their wounds, regret breaking no contact, and go silent again. They see that reaching out was pointless and that they must ignore the temptation to contact their ex.
I don’t think you’ll do that after everything you’ve been that. But if you ever hear someone say he or she reached out, don’t assume it will work for you. Your situation is different and probably won’t go well if you try to control it by force.
Sincerely,
Zan
I blocked my dumper ex over a year ago on just about everything I could. Sadly, I can’t block her entirely as we both have kids together so I left a single line of communication open. I found blocking her to be very helpful with adhering to no contact. She used to send me rambling grievance-laden tirades via email which I can no longer receive. It is comforting to know that I can’t receive such garbage anymore. I have no desire to ever reconcile with her after what she did to me and my children so I have no regrets with having blocked her. One day I even hope to be able to block the sole remaining line of communication I’ve left open.
Hi Damien.
If blocking helps, it helps. Your happiness matters more than anything your ex wants. You can’t block her out completely while kids are young, but when they grow up, things might change. You never know, you might fully leave the past behind by then.
Kind regards,
Zan