13 Signs Your Ex Is Miserable

You’ve probably been looking out for signs that your ex is miserable without you since the moment your ex broke up with you. If you were, it’s not unusual and I don’t judge you at all.

At first, you’ve likely spent endless days and nights stalking your ex’s Facebook, Instagram and other social media accounts in hopes of finding some good news.

Or perhaps bad news. I suppose it really depends on the perspective you observe from.

If you’re hoping to find signs that your ex is miserable without you, I must first warn you. It doesn’t matter if it’s been a day since the breakup or 5 months.

What I’m going to tell you is true for all dumpees, regardless of how long it’s been since your breakup.

The truth is that as long as you are not over your breakup (read how long it could take) you should not look for signs that your ex is miserable without you or in his or her new relationship.

If you keep digging for answers, you will eventually come across something that ends up seriously harming you.

For example, if you discover that your ex is happy without you or that he or she entered a new relationship and appears happier than ever, you could be staring at a huge emotional setback.

We’re talking about regressing back emotionally close to the breakup, if not right back to day one.

This setback could take you anywhere from 1-7 days to recover from so think twice or rather thrice before you end up embarking on a quest to find your ex miserable.

I know that finding your ex miserable would empower you. But if you’re the one miserable, then my advice would be not to do anything reckless.

Further pain can be avoided if you just remain in indefinite no contact. It’s the best medicine for your ex and even better for your wounded heart.

1)Trash-talking

The clearest sign that your ex is miserable is when he or she goes the extra mile (or 10) to make you seem as horrible as possible.

A bitter and angry ex can show his or her vengeful side by talking badly about you:

• to his (mutual) friends
• on forums and social platforms
• to your family

In psychological terms, a person who puts someone else down does this to make himself look better. Little does that person know that he only ends up making himself look bad as a result.

Every educated person knows that when you deliberately try to devalue a person, you only end up revealing your true colors—your worst self.

In just a matter of seconds, you show who you really are and what you’re capable of.

So if you’re talking to your friends and confide in them, they immediately become aware of the belittlement they can expect from you the moment they get befriended.

When your ex is trash-talking you, whatever you do, don’t retaliate. Doing so would give your ex exactly what he or she wants as you’d be lowering yourself on his or her level.

Instead of fighting fire with fire, I have a better plan in mind.

If you really want to make your ex miserable, all you have to do is smile at his or her remarks. When he or she attacks, you, smile wider, laugh harder, post happier pictures and succeed in life.

There is no greater revenge on an ex-partner than enjoying your life in his or her absence.

2)Flaunting his/her new relationship

When your ex brags about the new relationship, he or she leaves behind one of the best signs of a miserable ex.

As you know, a person who doesn’t care about you wouldn’t even look your way. An unconcerned individual would just do his own things and enjoy his romantic relationship in peace.

There would be no need to flaunt his/her new relationship if your ex didn’t feel vengeful and genuinely didn’t care about your approval.

So if your ex exaggerates how happy he or she is, just remember that your ex is trying to evoke some sort of a negative reaction out of you.

Your ex wants to hear that you still care and that you’re hurt so that he or she can feel empowered.

When you respond in an insecure way to his or her provocations, your ex will feel unbelievably validated. And once your ex’s ego tank has been refilled, your former partner will reject you once more.

Please note that flaunting his or her new relationship in your face could also be a sign that your ex is pretending to be over you. Most of the time though, it’s merely a sign of being miserable.

3)Talking badly about your new partner

The only thing worse than talking badly about you is when your ex talks badly about your new partner.

This low and pitiful move is truly one of the worst signs that your ex is miserable.

When you’re minding your own business, trying to make your new relationship work and your ex verbally attacks your current partner, someone is not very happy. That someone is your ex.

A person who loves his or her life would never steep so low to point out another person’s weaknesses. Furthermore, what your ex knows about your new partner is so insignificant, he or she usually doesn’t know where to strike.

That’s why your miserable ex will attack only your partner’s external attributes, such as:

• looks
• words and actions
• money
• relationships
• the past

If your ex satirizes your new partner like crazy, it’s a huge sign of misery. Your ex knows literally nothing about your partner’s personality, therefore criticizing him or her is extremely pitiful.

Your ex acts nasty only because he or she is unhappy in his or her new relationship or perhaps as a single person. There’s no need to defend your partner and plot revenge. Just sit tight and let your ex destroy his or her image. ?

4)Dating, dating and more dating

When you find out your ex has been on dating apps on and off for a while and you’ve seen him or her with multiple partners within a short time span, you can be sure that your ex hasn’t had much luck in the dating world.

As you probably know, most people over-rely on external factors for their happiness. So if your ex is not very lucky with his or her new dating partners, you can consider it one of the signs that your ex is miserable.

You can find your ex unhappy when he or she:

• jumps from one dating app to another
• changes partners more often than socks
• spends more time dating than on oneself
• posts sad or frustrating relationship quotes
• talks badly about the people that he or she dated

5)Drugs and addictions

If your ex is doing drugs and became addicted to various unhealthy things, this is a huge sign of unhappiness.

A person who does drugs looks for internal fulfillment through an external source of pleasure. Furthermore, doing drugs temporarily uplifts a person’s spirits by making all concerns appear less severe.

So when the effects of this imaginary euphoria come to an end, the reality of the drug abuser sinks in that much harder.

The same applies to your ex.

Every time your ex sobers up from the drug effects, your ex is reminded of his or her current situation and experiences the pain that he or she was trying to hide from.

This transition from no pain to pain is bigger for drug abusers as their emotional mood fluctuates from extremely elated to very unhappy.

Furthermore, drug abusers also have various drug symptoms and other life issues to worry about on top of that.

That’s why you can be certain that an ex addicted to drugs doesn’t have it easy even if he or she is high 90% of the time.

Again, if your ex is doing drugs, you can rest assured that he or she is unhappy. Drugs are addictions and any person hooked up on them suffers from their over-reliance and withdrawals.

6)Depression, mental illnesses and diseases

It’s obvious that a depressed or ill ex is miserable. Although wishing illness on anybody is morally wrong, I just wanted to include it on this list.

7)Picking fights with others

People who keep getting themselves involved in drama and conflicts are by nature very miserable people. They do so to blatantly display their disapproval and feed their starving ego.

If your ex was or is one of those people who always needs to be right and can’t take no for an answer, you have a very miserable ex.

This person lacks the self-awareness every human being needs to develop to be respected. Without it, your ex is just an unoccupied human vessel waiting for the brain to arrive.

8)Envious of others’ success

Envy, just like jealousy can be one of the biggest signs your ex is miserable without you. You can be certain that’s the case when your ex criticizes you and other people for their accomplishments.

Signs of envy can be:

• competing against you
• gossiping behind your back
• insincere or false praise
• celebrating and announcing your failures
• mocking your passions

9)Weight gain or weight loss

This sign is a real doozy. I don’t know why, but many dumpers seem to gain weight after the breakup while dumpees initially lose some due to stress.

An ex that gains or loses weight shortly after the breakup clearly has something going on in his or her life.

Oftentimes, this happens because dumpers’ old patterns change to a great extent. As a result, they “forget” how to behave on their own and act erratically.

They stop looking after their bodies and become overly comfortable so they end up losing weight or putting it on.

Who knew that a breakup can have such a drastic effect on a person’s eating and exercising?

10)Pretending to be incredibly happy

Please note that a miserable ex-partner might not always show his or her sadness directly. Your ex will instead try to hide his or her emotions and pretend as if he or she is as happy as a clam.

Admitting a mistake would take a lot of courage and pride to share. This is the reason why he or she would rather stay far away from you than to tell you that he or she has made a bad decision.

People hate being told “I told you so,” hence why they instead pretend to be exhilarated. So when they pretend to be happy without you, they infatuate their amazing new lives and come off as inauthentic, fake, strange and weird.

Since you know your ex in and out, you can easily spot any fake acts and hopefully laugh about it too.

11)Continuous drunk dialing

When a person drunk dials, something’s clearly going on with his or her brain. Normally, when people are drunk, they care a lot less about what they say and do.

Since they don’t hold back on their emotions, they end up calling their exes and reveal their unhappiness.

For some people, alcohol seems to be the catalyst for their emotional breakdown.

So if your ex calls you in distress, crying, apologizing and talking positively about you, this could be a great sign your ex is miserable without you.

12)Becoming a shut-in

People who lock themselves up and refuse to leave the house are often incredibly depressed. They lack friends and motivation and get anxious very easily.

If your ex has been shutting himself or herself in for weeks, it’s an enormous sign that your ex is miserable.

Shutting ourselves in the house is often a symptom that dumpees are very familiar with.

Right after the breakup, dumpees tend to shut themselves in and grieve alone. But as time goes on, they get back on their feet and start enjoying their lives again.

That’s when roles sometimes reverse and it’s dumpers turn to suffer from grief and shut themselves in.

13)Loss of goals and ambitions

If your ex seems like he or she is prioritizing things that matter the least in life, he or she is clearly on the path to misery.

A person without a set goal or long-term destination is simply existing in the moment, riding the wave wherever it takes him or her.

When an ex has no goals, he or she does indeed enjoy riding the wave for a while, but that wave is fated to crash eventually.

Nobody knows where it’s headed, but it will definitely cease to exist at some point.

In Lead the Field, Earl Nightingale says, “We are at our very best, and we are happiest when we are fully engaged in work we enjoy on the journey toward the goal we’ve established for ourselves. It gives meaning to our time off and comfort to our sleep. It makes everything else in life so wonderful, so worthwhile.“

Did you enjoy reading about the 13 signs your ex is miserable.? Can you think of a 14th? Comment below. ?

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.