9 Signs Your Friend Doesn’t Respect You

A friend is a companion, a confidant, a shoulder to lean on, and your shelter in times of need.

He or she is someone who wants the best for you emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially, romantically, and in every possible way.

There’s nothing a true friend wants more than to be there for you when you’re struggling to cope with stress and self-doubt.

And that’s because offering an ear to listen without judgment gives you as well as your friend something to benefit from. You as a help-seeker feel understood and supported—whereas your friend as a listener feels helpful and important.

This mutual interdependence makes you and your friend feel positive emotions for each other and enables you to bond better.

Many psychologists have written that friends, family members, romantic partners, coworkers, acquaintances, and all duos who go through a difficult situation together create strong emotional bonds.

They grow their respect for each other because they heavily invest in each other’s lives.

Friends who don’t invest in each other, however, don’t bond with each other. They don’t develop feelings of mutual care and understanding, so they don’t get affected very much when one of them needs a shoulder to lean on.

They just don’t “care” enough to help a person that they don’t connect with/aren’t close to.

So if you have a feeling that your friend doesn’t care about you and you’re looking for signs that your friend doesn’t respect you, know that there are many ways to find out what your friend thinks about you and feels toward you.

It might take you some time, but you can test your friend for his or her loyalty and discern what kind of role you play in this person’s life.

That’s something this article will help you with. It will provide you with 9 signs your partner doesn’t respect you and consequently, help you decide whether your friend is a user, a manipulator, envious or jealous of your success, or a true friend.

Friends help each other

People are different in thousands of ways.

Some are very talkative and share every detail of their lives with one another while others prefer to hold back and let others do the talking.

But no matter how open and communicative a person is, communication alone is not a reliable indicator of friendship.

A good indicator of friendship is investment.

The more time and emotions people selflessly invest in their friends, the more they bond, and the better they get along.

This is true because actions in any kind of relationship prove loyalty, sincere intentions, and goodwill. Words and promises, on the other hand, don’t.

A friend may say that he and loves you and supports you, but if this friend of yours is nowhere to be seen when you could use this love and support, then this person is not really your friend.

At least not the kind of friend you can confide in and rely on.

He’s someone who’s around only when you’re happy because that’s when you don’t require him to (invest) give anything to you without getting anything in return.

So make sure to judge people’s commitment to you by observing their interest level. Pay close attention to their behavior, actions, non-verbal communication, and yes, even words.

Words matter as well because if they aren’t in perfect harmony with actions, they are completely meaningless.

If you’re still interested in reading about signs that your friend doesn’t respect you, let’s now start with one of the worst signs.

1)You friend is envious of your success

One of the most obvious signs your friend doesn’t respect you is if your friend envies your personal accomplishments and hates seeing you happy so much that he or she gets in your way.

Such self-centered behavior proves that your friend doesn’t support your endeavors and everything you’re going through. On the contrary, it proves that your friend competes with you.

He or she wants to be one step ahead of you because the thought of knowing that you’re somewhere in the back validates your friend’s position in life.

It reassures your friend that his or her life can’t be that bad if you’re doing worse than him or her.

But the truth is that your friend’s position in life is bad. Competing with a friend reveals that a person lacks faith in his or her abilities and proves that he or she relies on external validation for happiness.

It’s important to understand that a little bit of envy is perfectly normal. We’re all human beings who are biologically wired to feel this emotion when we want the best for ourselves.

But letting our envy consume us to the point where we act upon it is something we should never do.

2)Your friend puts you down

Friends are supposed to encourage personal growth, uplift each other, and boost each other’s morale. It’s what friends are for.

That’s why those people who do exactly the opposite and talk down to their friends, clearly don’t respect their friends.

They don’t care about their friends’ feelings because deep down, they’re interested only in displaying their authority.

By bullying their friends, they get to decide how their friends think and feel.

Having this power over their friends further empowers them with the reassurance that they are more valuable than their friends—and gives them the impression that they’re in control of their lives.

A friend who puts you down may not necessarily express his or her lack of respect outrightly. That would end badly for your friend as you would quickly figure out your friend’s malicious intentions.

To avoid this, a disrespectful friend prefers to indirectly show you how he or she feels toward you through subtle unfriendly actions—and by doing so, continue to put you down for a very long time.

Probably until he or she loses all respect for you or until you’ve had enough of your friend’s abuse.

On that note, bear in mind that there are many ways a friend could put you down.

Your friend could:

• belittle your work, passion, achievements
• trash-talk your romantic experiences and disapprove of your partner
• publicly humiliate you
• make fun of your mistakes, personality, shortcomings, disorders, or physical appearance
• and do anything that gives your friend the impression that he or she is better than you

3)Your friend lies to you

If you catch your friend lying, avoiding the truth, or deceiving you—your friend, unfortunately, doesn’t find you worthy of the truth.

And that’s because protecting his or her image is incredibly high up on your friend’s priority list. It’s so high up that your friend would rather keep you in the dark and save face than to own up to a mistake.

It’s common sense that people make occasional mistakes.

But those who don’t take responsibility for them and don’t learn much from them, regrettably, aren’t friendship material. They just aren’t trustworthy people.

And as you know, trust is essential in friendships.

So if you caught your friend lying to you not once but many times, you have one of the best signs that your friend doesn’t respect you. You have proof that your friend is the kind of person who avoids the truth for his or her personal gain.

4)Your friend doesn’t keep his/her promises

You can tell your friend doesn’t respect you if your friend is good at promising you things, but doesn’t follow through with them.

If he or she just ignores them or cancels them every time you need a favor, your friend isn’t the kind of person you want your friend to be. Your friend may think that he or she is, but his or her actions prove otherwise.

They prove that your friend isn’t consistent and reliable—and that you may not be able to count on your friend in times of need.

A friend who doesn’t respect you could:

• cancel projects, meetups, arrangements
• intentionally forget or refuse to carry out promises/favors
• tell others your secrets and personal information
• make you believe that circumstances behind his or her promises have changed

If you notice that your friend doesn’t take your relationship seriously and decides everything on his or her own, you have a sign that your friend doesn’t respect you.

He or she thinks it’s okay to go back on his or her word even if you end up getting hurt.

5)Your friend talks badly about you behind your back

Another obvious sign that your friend doesn’t respect you is if your friend compliments you in person, but speaks poorly of you when you’re not around.

Such cunning behavior indicates a lack of respect and confirms that your friend has an ulterior motive.

A motive that serves your friend (betters his or her image) by putting you down.

It’s obvious that a friend who trash-talks you isn’t your friend. He or she is a two-faced person who pretends to be your friend when you’re present and then starts calling you derogatory names as soon as you leave the room.

It’s possible that your so-called “friend” might just be your biggest hater hiding under an angelic mask.

Your friend might deliberately pretend to like you to gain your trust just so he or she can manipulate you, insult you, and criticize everything you’re good at later when you’ve lowered your defenses.

By telling others how weird, ugly, mean, poor, or disrespectful you are, your friend would essentially gain his or her conversationalists’ acknowledgment.

That’s when your friend would experience a sense of superiority and increase his or her hatred for you.

Keep in mind that hatred, jealousy, envy, contempt, and revulsion are the emotions that empower a friend who doesn’t respect you.

6)Your friend calls you only when he or she needs something from you

Another great example of disrespect is when your friend uses and abuses your friendship to suit his or her needs.

For example, a friend who doesn’t respect you may try to benefit from you by calling you only when he or she needs something from you.

Your friend may ask you for advice, opinion, an ear to listen to, or a favor—and pretend to be nice throughout the whole interaction. Maybe your user friend would also promise to repay your kindness back at a later date.

But when that later date would come, your user friend would simply not reply, say that he or she is busy, or come up with some kind of excuse.

To confirm whether your friend respects you, values you, cares about you, and is ready to help—simply ask your friend for a favor. Reach out at any time of the day and see if your friend is ready to come to the rescue.

If your problem is your friend’s problem and your friend cares about you, your friend will drop what he or she is doing and come to your aid.

7)Your friend started to pull away

One of the most obvious signs your friend’s lost respect for you is if your friend started to pull away from you.

This emotional detachment signifies a loss of interest, care, and respect, as it often occurs when people find someone else to get close to. Someone like a new friend or a new romantic partner.

Just how cheaters cheat on purpose, a friend who detaches himself or herself from you does so on purpose too. He or she decides to stop paying attention to you and deliberately distracts himself or herself with something or someone else.

This deliberate distraction allows your friend to detach himself or herself from you and reattach to something else without experiencing the fear of loss.

The only one who feels a void in the heart is you beause you’re the one who gets disrespected and abandoned.

8)Your friend is jealous of your romantic life

Some people get so jealous of their friend’s romance that they start to spread lies and try to meddle with their friend’s romantic life.

Some extremely jealous people even try to seduce their friend’s romantic partner just so they don’t have to see how happy their friend is.

Needless to say, such people aren’t friends material because they hate seeing someone so close to them happy. They want it all to themselves—and are willing to sabotage their friend’s happiness just to bring their friend’s happiness down to their misery.

9)Your friend doesn’t care about your feelings.

The last sign that your friend doesn’t respect you and your friendship is if your friend doesn’t care whenever he or she hurts you.

If he or she simply brushes it off and calls you weak, sensitive, or crazy—you have enough proof to conclude that your friend isn’t your friend.

Your friend may say that he or she is, but the truth is that friends don’t hurt each other. They make each other feel good emotions and are often even willing to sacrifice their happiness for their friends’.

What to do if your friend doesn’t respect you?

If you noticed that your friend doesn’t respect you, care about you, support you, and inspire you, you may first want to talk to your friend about it.

In a respectful manner, mention the things you don’t like in the relationship and say how your friend’s lack of respect affects you. Don’t forget to talk about your feelings.

Upon saying that, give your friend the time to respond and wait for an apology, an acknowledgment, or some sort of reassuring feedback.

If you receive it and your friend appears regretful about the way his or her behavior harmed you, you might want to give your friend an opportunity to evolve.

It’s possible that your friend wasn’t aware of his or her bad behavior and that with your help, your friend can grow inward.

But if your friend doesn’t acknowledge your pain, doesn’t want to change, and says that it’s all in your head, it might be for the best that you let your friend go.

Not all friends at meant to stay friends forever.

Some friends change for the worse over the years while others seem to come into your life just to teach you an important lesson.

A lesson to respect yourself and to treat people well. Even those who mistreat you and don’t deserve your kindness.

So remember to be mature and treat everyone with dignity regardless of how they’ve made you feel.

You can do so by ceasing all communication with them.

Simply stop seeking their care, love, attention, and approval—and move forward without them.

As long as they hurt you and make your life more painful than it would be without them, it’s best that you stay out of their way. You’re far better off supporting yourself or finding someone who can be a real friend to you.

As Walter Winchell said, “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.“

He couldn’t be more right.

You need to find someone who genuinely wants to be there for you and not hold on to a friend who doesn’t have your best interests at heart.

I hope you enjoyed reading this article. Have you ever been in a position where you doubted your friend’s respect and loyalty? How did that go for you? Share your thoughts below this post.

Angelie

I’m Angelie, a writer and a designer at Magnet of Success. Whether I’m writing compelling content or designing engaging pictures, I create content that resonates with our visitors and aids them on their self-improvement journey. I enjoy writing about relationship dynamics and the difficulties couples may face.