If a girl left you for someone else and hurt your feelings, you probably compare yourself to the new person and want to know if her new relationship will last. You don’t want her fling to turn long-term and think she has more in common with her new boyfriend than she does with you.
That would further damage your fragile self-esteem and impact your recovery rate.
Before you drive yourself crazy with questions no one can answer (not even your ex-girlfriend), you must understand that most new relationships last a while. Dumpers feel relieved due to the breakup and are excited to be adored. They go through new relationship stages, feeling empowered and thinking they should have left their ex much sooner.
In their minds, they could have avoided dealing with problems and stressors created by their ex and feel in total control of the breakup. The last thing they think about when they’re bonding with someone new is reconnecting with their ex and returning to a relationship that makes them unhappy.
The only time they consider going back days or weeks after leaving their ex for someone else is when they’re still in love with their ex or when the new person disappoints, hurts, or annoys them. That makes them see they’re incompatible and that they better run back to their ex before their ex detaches, moves on, and finds someone new.
If you want your ex’s new relationship to end, know that it probably won’t happen while they’re still getting to know each other. Their relationship is too new to encounter difficulties communicating and working together as a couple. They’ll need to get used to each other first, get comfortable, and show their true colors. This tends to happen a few months into the new relationship when problems start to show.
Problems tell them their new relationship is far from perfect and that, like any relationship, it will require ongoing effort and commitment to succeed.
It’s hard to predict if your ex’s new relationship will last because it depends on their personality and maturity. If they’re capable of communicating their stressors efficiently, they won’t be in a hurry to break up. Instead, they’ll express what they like about each other, bond, justify their monkey-branching, and look for reasons to stay together.
Couples break up when they’re unwilling to grow and adapt—and feel unhappy and unfulfilled. They don’t break up just because they cheated on their previous partners. Cheating doesn’t look good on their relationship record as it increases their risk of falling into temptation again, but it’s usually not an issue (at least not at first). They may realize what they’ve done later when they get through the infatuation phase.
Anyway, bear in mind that her new relationship will have to encounter unresolvable problems for it to end. It will have to trigger painful emotions, stop boosting their egos, and show them they’re not a match made in heaven. They’re just two people who bonded outside of their previous relationship and rushed into a new relationship without fully understanding the work their new relationship will take.
We could say they acted instinctively and entered a new commitment by betraying their ex-partners. If the new person didn’t cheat but is aware of what your ex did, this could later become a problem. It could make him question his girlfriend’s loyalty and ability to stay in a healthy, long-term relationship.
Doubt and fear could trigger his insecurities and make him extra cautious. This could drive a wedge between them and make them break up if no solution is found.
Whether he’s in on your ex’s cheating or not, they’ll have to deal with the karma of cheating one way or another. Your ex will remember what she did to you when you were in love with her and perhaps even feel guilty or ashamed.
Guilt or shame won’t make them break up, but it will stay with them for a very long time. It may take them years to let go of the past, forgive themselves for betraying you, and fully trust each other.
Of course, you don’t want their relationship to last for years. But you must consider the possibility that their new relationship is not a rebound. Most new relationships aren’t rebounds, even if they started on cheating terms. Rebounds occur when dumpers or dumpees still have feelings for their former partner and fail to establish a new connection with another person.
Sometimes they completely lack feelings for their partner, but they soon redevelop them because they realize the new person isn’t a good fit for them. A lack of happiness, followed by reflection, forces them to open their eyes and see that they left a good partner. Such a realization brings back their romantic feelings and urges them to reconnect with their partner.
So if she left you for someone else and you’re wondering if their relationship will last, know that it’s hard, if not impossible, to predict. It all depends on how they communicate and get along. The stronger their communication skills, the less likely they are to become unhappy, resentful, or emotionally distant during conflicts.
Your relationship with her plays almost no role in whether they stay together or break up. Even if your relationship was great, her new relationship must first experience problems that make her stop fighting for it. When she stops maintaining it, she might think deeply about the relationship and happiness she abandoned and decide to come back for them.
She undoubtedly thinks about you at times, even now, but it’s not enough to leave a relationship that makes her happy. To leave, she must change her perception of the new person and conclude that she can be happier on her own or with someone else. She must see that dating him is a mistake and that she must look for happiness elsewhere.
In this article, we discuss why she left you for someone else and if her new relationship will last.
Why did she leave me for someone else?
It’s unlikely that your ex-girlfriend left you because you were a bad partner. If you were a bad partner, she would probably have left you before she started seeing another guy. She would have explained why she was breaking up with you and stated that she didn’t see things changing for the better.
Since she left you for someone else, it’s clear that she developed a strong bond with the other person behind your back. She got close to him and felt an overwhelming temptation to be with him. When that temptation became too strong to resist, she gave in and started to pursue it fully.
She felt relieved because she no longer had to hide her true feelings and intentions. She could just focus on the other person and enjoy the excitement of getting to know someone new.
Therefore, she left you for someone else because she connected with him and craved his recognition. She knew it was wrong to connect with another person, but she got closer and closer to him anyway. She probably convinced herself that she deserved strong friendships and happiness.
Once she crossed the friendship boundary, however, it was too late to do anything about it. She didn’t even feel like resisting the new person’s charm because he infatuated her immensely and made her feel important. The new guy showed her she could monkey-branch and gain relationship benefits from him instead of you.
It’s no secret that she lacked the gratitude, morals, and willpower to stop herself from falling for the superficial traits of another person. If she valued you and feared losing you, she would have pulled away before things got too far and proved her commitment to the relationship. Your ex would have done everything in her power to make the relationship work.
She wouldn’t have cheated and monkey-branched if she had the skills necessary for dealing with temptations. She might develop them later, but at the moment, she’s incapable of resisting them. She’s emotion-driven and unwilling to learn and improve.
When your ex-girlfriend cheats and leaves you for someone else, her actions show that she’s taken you for granted. The excitement of her commitment to you waned, so she sought external excitement. Unfortunately, she found it with someone new and got physically and emotionally attracted to him.
It doesn’t matter if your relationship lacked excitement or had problems. All relationships have problems. But only couples who work on them deal with them successfully and stay together long-term. Such couples remain emotionally connected and know that their lives will worsen significantly if they happen to break up. Deep inside, they appreciate their partner and despise going their separate ways.
Cheaters don’t think/feel that way. They entertain the idea of breaking up and choosing someone else. Because they think they aren’t getting the treatment they deserve and/or that they can be happier with another person, they allow themselves to continue to detach and idealize their crush. Their crush appears to have no major flaws because major flaws are noticeable only when their relationship slows down.
So bear in mind that she left you for another person because she found someone she thought would make her happier. She completely forgot your good traits and everything you did for her and the relationship. Such things stopped mattering because she had her eyes set on someone who made her feel extremely desirable.
She prioritized him over you because she made the mistake of allowing herself to get closer to him than her actual partner. She could have prevented all of this if she realized what was happening to her emotionally and gathered the strength to push the new guy away. But instead, she chose to keep talking, flirting, and perhaps even physically cheating.
Eventually, she got tired of hiding it from you and decided to leave you for him.
Again, this doesn’t mean you weren’t good enough and that you don’t deserve love. It means that the new partner triggered cravings that only new partners can trigger. He presented himself as a desirable romantic partner and made her obsessed with him.
I’m not saying it’s his fault she left you. She was in a relationship with you and needed to protect it. She was the one who decided to invest outside of the relationship and in another person. Even if the guy told her everything she wanted to hear, you should be upset with your ex, not him. He might not even have been aware of your existence and assumed she was single.
Whatever the case may be, your ex betrayed you and showed you how little your commitment meant to her. You need to remember this if you can’t stop thinking about her and wanting her back.
That said, here’s why she left you for someone else.
Will her monkey-branching relationship last?
Ah, the million-dollar question, something no one really has a clear answer to. The fate of your ex’s relationship is incredibly hard to predict. Not only are you not a part of it, but not even your ex knows if her relationship will last. She might think that it will, especially if things are progressing smoothly at the moment, but it won’t always feel that way.
One day, she’ll encounter problems, feel stressed, and might even end the relationship.
Many relationships end when things get serious and demand commitment and investment. This often happens to couples who aren’t emotionally ready for a new relationship or don’t want anything serious.
Anything can happen, so don’t assume they’re a perfect couple and that they’ll stay together forever. 80% of couples break up. Some break up during the dating period, while others part ways after getting to know each other, experiencing stress, and running out of patience.
It’s in your best interest not to keep checking up on them and waiting for the perfect chance to strike. If your ex breaks up and regrets leaving you, your ex knows where to find you. She knows that she’s responsible for expressing regret, feelings, and desire to make things right. You don’t have to impress her when your ex appears to be the most vulnerable.
Remember, whether their relationship lasts depends on many factors. The biggest ones include their compatibility, emotional availability, self-awareness, communication, consistency, and external stressors. If they aren’t ready to put the work in, chances are they’ll break up when problems overwhelm them and force negative reactions out of them.
Did your ex-girlfriend leave you for someone else and force you to ruminate on whether they will last? Are you trying to get back with her? Post your thoughts and feelings in the comments below.
However, if you need more clarity about your ex’s rebound or monkey-branching relationship, feel free to reach out to us. We’ll work through the breakup together and create a personalized plan for your situation.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
