Let’s face it guys. Everyone has a little bit of narcissism in them. We may not be fully narcissistic, but we have a few traits here and there. Sometimes we act a bit selfish, arrogant, demanding, and that doesn’t necessarily mean we’re narcissistic. No, far from that. What that means is that we’re human and that we care about ourselves to a healthy degree.
Narcissists, on the other hand, know no boundaries. They are absolutely ruthless at what they do. They are so self-absorbed and void of empathy, they will go to great lengths to make themselves feel amazing.
A narcissist will do what it takes to satisfy his own needs and completely disregard yours. Your existence is not important to him because he simply doesn’t care enough—or at all. Narcissists have a relationship with themselves. When it comes to others, they form relationships only to take, steal and destroy.
If you’re asking yourself “is my ex a narcissist and how do I know for sure,” this article is for you. When you’ve finished reading, you will be able to see whether your ex is a narc and learn what signs to look out for when you’re dating one.
1)Desperate attempts for attention
A narcissistic person is someone who is exceptionally good at making himself better. 99% of the time, everything he says and does is meant to evoke some sort of a reaction. A person with narcissistic disorder thinks very highly of himself and poorly of others. Everything a skilled individual does, a narcissist can do better. He would be the smartest, the prettiest, the wises, the healthiest, the most important and definitely the most desirable person on the planet.
Because of the narcissist’s unimaginable high sense of self-importance, a person with such beliefs acts as if he is the only person on the planet. No matter what he says and does, the world always revolves around him.
Every single encounter with a narcissist is about him—for him. His sole existence on this planet is to take and use. Things such as helping and caring for others doesn’t exist in the narcissist’s world. He is too preoccupied living in a bubble—under the rock, to actually express compassion and interest in others.
Although people find narcissists’ desperate attempts to seek attention amusing at first, they soon start avoiding and ignoring them. The reasons for ignoring a narcissist are very straightforward. Anyone who distances himself from a narcissist does so out of annoyance and frustrations. It can become very emotionally draining to listen to someone ramble about himself all day, every day. People also get fairly quickly tired of being used by narcissists because they notice their true intentions.
You can tell your ex is a narcissist if his whole perception of himself and his significance is tremendously distorted. Whenever you conversed with him in the past, the conversation quickly jumped back to him and the things he’s good at. One way to tell your ex is a narcissist is by analyzing his attention span. Was he able to talk about you and other people, rather than just about himself?
If your ex had a narcissistic disorder, it means he was more often than not, stuck in “me, me, me” cycle. This mental blockage prevented your ex narcissist from having decent conversations with you—as well as with others.
When you were dating a narcissist, was he in charge of things, such as what movie to watch, what to eat, when to go out, who you should talk to? If he was desperate for authority and control over you, his insecure and jealous behavior proves he’s narcissistic.
2)Excessive pride
When your ex seemed narcissistic, you likely saw and heard him brag about various accomplishments and skills. There was no end to everything your ex achieved and everything he could do. He probably fooled you about all the things he was capable of because you weren’t aware that your ex is a narcissist. If he wanted to put all his traits on his CV, he would have run out of space decades before he was actually born.
A narcissist knows and understands everything—especially when he has no clue what’s actually going on. Despite him having absolutely no idea, he will turn words around so you end up believing him anyway. He will manipulate you into trusting him so he can trap you in his cobweb and devour you slowly and thoroughly. A narcissist will play with his victim and torture her endlessly. To him, it’s just a game.
To be a narcissist means to be conceited beyond belief. If you’re wondering “is my ex a narcissist,” one of the best ways is to think back on your ex’s life. Did he spend countless days and nights admiring himself in front of a mirror? There’s no better way to tell if your ex is a narcissist other than to look at the way he viewed himself and the way he behaved on a daily basis.
3)An exaggerated sense of privilege
A narcissistic person thinks he’s high and mighty. In spite of others telling him he’s not the only person in this world, a true narcissist will arrogantly disagree. In his mind, he doesn’t have to wait in line, let others finish talking, listen to their advice, be patient with others and empathize with people. If only it were that simple for him. Instead, a narc will always do what he thinks is right and best for him—and not what others think.
Since narcissists think and act based on their own thoughts and emotions, they assume they are entitled to everything nice and sweet. They truly believe know they are right. Just how a normal person receives signals to the brain that he or she is hungry, a narcissist will get notified he’s 100% right. The feeling in the narcissist’s gut is telling him to act based on what he feels. Unfortunately, his conceited self feels he’s right about everything, 100% of the time.
4)Superiority complex
Narcissists are envious and jealous creatures by nature. Everything you have and want, they will want too. Sadly, they won’t be satisfied just by possessing what you do. Narcissists need to have more than you because it feels empowering to them. After they’ve obtained more of what you have, showing off and rubbing it in your face will come next. If your ex is a narcissist, you will likely see these signs all over the place.
An important way to tell if your ex is a narcissist is by examining the way he treats others. We can always judge a “normal” person by the way he or she treats others. A narcissist will make a great example of what a conceited person looks like. Did your ex treat the people he encountered poorly with bad temper? If he treated workers, bus drivers, waitresses, hotel receptionists and commoners he encountered in public badly, your ex clearly has a narcissistic trait. This appalling trait is not often visible in the early stages of the relationship as even narcissists try to be on their best behavior for a while.
Narcissists always walk with their head held high. They make themselves stand out from the crowd by pulling the attention on them—and keep it there for as long as they can.
If they don’t get what they want, they act similarly to babies. What do babies do when they can’t reach for their toy, you ask? They kick, scream and shout at the top of their lungs.
Narcissists’ superiority complex is no laughing matter. It’s in their character to step on the pedestal under the spotlight and act as if they are better than everybody else. Regrettably, they don’t just act that way. They actually believe they are.
5)Abuse and manipulation
Are you still not convinced your ex is a narcissist? This chapter will help you come to a conclusion.
A narcissist will use words, such as please and thank you, only when he absolutely has to. He will put on an act solely to secure and obtain the services people provide. Once he’s received the benefits, a narcissist will quickly discard the people he can’t use anymore.
If your ex is a narcissist, he probably used and abused you until you no longer served him. When he felt he could no longer gain anything from you, he discarded you cold-heartedly and left you to fend off for yourself. A real narcissist is a person who lacks empathy and a basic understanding of human needs. If your ex was a narcissist whilst in a relationship with you, he likely abandoned you in the worst, cruelest way when you needed him the most.
Whether you were going through a difficult ordeal or simply craved emotional support, your ex wasn’t able, or better yet—wasn’t willing to provide. He cut you off like you meant nothing to him by caring only about his happiness.
Narcissists will strategically squeeze everything out of you by first gaining your trust, develop a connection with you, and then suck the life force out of you. They are leeches that feed off your good points and the biggest users of society and everything positive. They are like ticks. Once narcissists attach to their victim, they don’t let go under any condition.
6)Emotional instability
Narcissists tend to have love-hate relationships with their romantic partners. Because they go to great lengths to prove a point, they will often find ways to bring their partner to the ground. And once his partner is grounded, weak and unable to protect herself, a narcissist will offer support and care. He abuses the push-pull technique to make his partner experience a rollercoaster of emotions.
Most narcissists experience deadly emotional swings and extremely explosive, uncontrollable anger. They often show a complete lack of self-control by acting entirely on impulse.
If your ex is a narcissist, he is likely guilty of this sin. It’s easier to tell if he was a narcissist now that he’s an ex, rather than when you were with this person. Back then, you were too emotionally involved to see things from a clear perspective. Now, you can finally overlook your ex for the person he really was—and still is.
Your ex is a narcissist if he took advantage of your kindness, played with your emotions and destroyed your self-esteem. It’s likely you felt powerless and often out of control whilst you were in a relationship with your narc. This is not uncommon because narcissists seek power and control to better manipulate their relationships.
Narcissists are also very impatient and intolerant towards others—whether it’s their partners or friends. Instead of solving problems efficiently, they quickly resort to anger and destruction. Their lack of ability to approach problems and difficulties in a calm, collected manner is very apparent in people with narcissistic disorder.
7)Vengeful impulses
If you are no longer in a relationship with your ex narcissist, you likely see clues he’s trying to get even with you. He either wants to hurt you for leaving him or hurt you by discarding you. Narcissists see their former romantic partners as competition, Because of that, they may go to great lengths to win the “post-breakup war.”
After they discard you, they will very frequently do various destructive acts to bring you down further and burn all bridges. You could find your ex narcissist talking badly about you, sharing your secrets, laughing at you, completely disregarding your existence, bragging about breaking up with you, rubbing his new relationship in your face and much more.
This is just the beginning of narcissist’s retribution for getting involved with him. His wicked touch with reality tells him he should punish you for dating him and deliver a slow, painful death.
When your narcissist becomes an ex, he is going to stop putting on a positive persona and show you what he’s truly capable of. Once narcissists are no longer in a relationship with their prey, they strongly rely on their exes’ validation.
Knowing they are able to hurt vulnerable people is a huge ego boost to ex narcissists—as it tells them they still care. Narcs know they can keep you hooked and they will definitely hurt you for as long as they can. Even if they find someone else, narcissists will still appreciate your moral support. They might not ask for it, but they will still crave it.
8)Discarding
Narcissists always think they deserve better. This implies to relationships, health, wealth, and just about anything. Their GIGS: Grass is greener syndrome is constantly present and never truly disappears. The thought of abandoning people is steadily on their mind until they feel completely detached and finally discard. Narcissists strip people of their value by making themselves seem better in every possible way.
They strongly covet what their friends have and will often express it too. It’s not just a wish to boost their happiness. Because they genuinely don’t care, they are able to discard and replace in a matter of seconds. Narcissists don’t bond and attach to people. As previously mentioned in the earlier chapters, narcissists use and abuse—steal and gain for their own selfish reasons.
Narcs are so selfish they will get rid of people in the most inhumane way. The history doesn’t matter to them as they are too preoccupied with the present moment. It’s all about here and now to them, so judge them by what they are showing you today—and not who they portrayed to be in the past.
Is your ex a narcissist or did he exhibit narcissistic traits in his relationship with you? Keep healing from the narcissistic abuse and comment below the article.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
I swear, the ideas of what a narcissist are continue to balloon. Now everyone on the internet was in a relationship with one.
They will push you away because of their ego… They will get into an normal relationship argument to utterly control you… They will lovebomb you…. They will starve you of attention.
It seems like ‘Emotional Abuse’ and ‘My Ex is a Narcissist’ have become over-blown terms of confirmation bias for anyone who has had any difficulty in their relationship that they cannot/will not figure out.
Not to say that tjose things do not exist. But they are definitely Egregore terms as a social sickness to embolden people to destroy their relationships.
Hi A.
You’re right. Not every ex is a narcissist. Dumpees like to think that their ex is a narc so they can justify their ex’s sudden abandonment and behavior.
Kind regards,
Zan
Oh my god what you’ve been through sounds exactly like me. I’m currently in the no contact stage and not responding to his messages but I still do love him and desperate to know where he is and what he’s doing. He texted he’d come tomorrow and clean up some of his stuff he left in the yard. I haven’t responded and as much as I crave a hug from him I know I shouldn’t be engaging in any contact. He really turned me from a very accomplished and independent woman into a shell of a person who relied on him for everything. I actually miss the hundreds of texts every day. Feeling lost with no contact.
Boy Am I glad I found this article. I met this terrific woman about 5 yrs ago and things were great. Her narcistic traits were very subtle. So much so that I never picked up on it. But these past 3 months became unbearable for me. I was ” making one mistake after another “, and I started hearing words that only a narc would say… ” You cant live without me”, ” I was the best thing that ever came into your life”, ” You do not appreciate anything I did for you”.
It was crazy. So even though I walked away recently, I am reeling with sadness and heartbreak. I know it had nothing to do with anything I did or said. It was her all along.
During one of my panic attacks last week, she called me and the words she was saying over the phone did not only not help.. but it made it a lot worst. When I tried to explain to her that she should never talk to anyone in that manner, she exploded .. and it was all my fault.
I have realized now that the woman I met, fell in love with was not the person I thought she was. Right after I walked away, I blocked her number, deleted every reminder and am now working on self healing.
Unfortunately my phone service provider displays when a blocked number calls and she called me this afternoon.
Her silly tacrtics wont work on me.. and now she knows it. . there was a part of me that she could not get her hands around.
Because the both of narcissists are usually male, A lot of articles tend to focus on that type.I believe female narcissists behave somewhat differently, but the relationships are still extremely toxic. Mine spent months convincing me I was the only man in the world for her. She had never love like that before. All day texting me with little hearts and emojis. Just so much affection. I did not experience the degrading and other things that are mentioned typically about male Narcissist. Makes me question if she even is one, or just something close to it. Because she seems to be empathetic to other people. She cook food for Thanksgiving and take it and give it out to the homeless, she hit an owl once And took it to the bird sanctuary to save it.. Just generally a very caring and loving person. But some thing would click in her mind. And she would dump me brutally and without hesitation. She went back to her ex-husband three times on me over about two years. Then she would come back with the love bombing, and how much she missed me, and all the same crap over and over again. I just never had as good of a relationship with any woman.Everything was good. We got along well, lots of love and affection, always snuggled up on the couch together in the evenings. Incredible sex for both of us. But then she could just cut it off like I switch. I guess that’s where the part comes in, where they actually don’t love you at all. And that is the part where a female Narcissist can do so much emotional damage to a man, without the typical mean spiritedness and a degrading the relationship itself. I think in a way, it may almost be worse, because you never see it coming. Do you think you’re living in this fairytale wonderful loving relationship. Which they have no problem destroying without hesitation.. The disrespect and and treating me like crap, Really only seems to come at the very end. As I think she was one of those it actually does Love in her own mind, but if there’s some issues she doesn’t want to deal with, my feelings don’t really matter at all. It’s ultimately all about her emotions at the moment. It is just so damaging psychologically, it’s beyond description
My ex broke up with me in May of 2020 and i wont deny that the relationship started to become toxic but i still tried my best to fix things repeatedly and put in effort, it was my ex who was repeating the same cycle of drinking, drugs and lying.
I found out after breaking up that he was already talking to a new girl 3 months before me and him broke up and started seeing this girl in June. Throughout June to about October my ex kept flaunting his shit in my face with her and yet they werent dating. My ex came back begging for me in october and i decided to give him a chance.
In december, i made one tiny mistake and my ex said i wasnt changing and has gone back to that girl. Since going back, hes done everything possible to hurt me. He’s been gaslighting me where he throws the blame on me and doesn’t accept responsibility for the things hes done wrong, he’s been name calling me behind my back, he’s even allowed this new girl to abuse me so much when I tried to get clarity from my ex.
He’s also gone to the extent of disregarding my feelings and that we shared special moments together over 6 years. He showed up at an event on my birthday with her, saw me and didn’t wish me. Has started to take her to clubs that we used to frequent and even cut me off social media.
His friends and our mutual friends have tried talking sense into him that what he’s done is wrong, and he’s really hurt me but he wont listen to reason.
After reading your post, i started to realize that my ex is a full on narcissist and really has GIGS because this girl already showed him her toxic side and yet he’s still blinded and chooses her.
I really love my ex, and i dont know what to do. Everyday feels like a struggle, he’s doing more hurtful things to me for her and i dont know how to get him to stop or how to get him to understand how much he’s hurt me.
I definitely noticed narcissistic traits in my past “situationship”. He love bombed me like crazy for a couple months. Even though he at first said he wasn’t looking to be in a relationship, he totally dangled the “hope” of one in front of my nose. I totally fell for it. Then he changed – he would constantly seek validation from me and would “reward” me with a little attention if I gave him my emotional energy. It was all about what I thought of his accomplishments. He rarely praised me for my achievements after the love bombing phase. Then he would go after other women and barely give me attention. Little did I know he was searching for a new supply. I was anxious all the time and blamed myself for his lack of interest. Finally I stopped talking to him and he started making passive aggressive comments on social media about how I “abandoned” him and accused me of falling for another guy (who was always just a friend). It was so hurtful, but I realize now he was projecting his own twisted character onto me. I took a hiatus from it all just to get away and heal. He’s love bombing another female now so while I’m still hurt, part of me is relieved he has someone else to occupy him. Hopefully that means he’ll leave me alone. Narcissists are such bullies. I learned a lot.
I have realized that my ex is a narc. He thinks he is getting back with me. He’s not, clearly, but he already has his next “supply” set up. I’m lucky. We live in different states. He lost his car and was evicted. I broke up with him a long time ago. Right after I did, he told about the pending eviction. He claimed he hid it from me because he “knew our relationship wasn’t right, cuz I said I wasn’t going to move in with him.” I think it was to save face.
I refused to move in with him because of my chronic mental health issues. I knew he was chaotic and I need stability – I’ve had depression for 25 years – but the narcissism piece…. I just figured that out because I am coming OFF of my psych meds. I got MY damn mind back!! Now I can see wtf HE has been doing!! He admitted he baits me into arguments on purpose, then blames me for it – he claims it “turns him on.” He questions and challenges my reality, then blames my when I get irritated and frustrated. That is gas-lighting and emotional abuse. And the love bombing is like nothing I’ve ever seen. Constant I love you, you’re awesome, you’re the smartest woman I’ve ever met. Like he’s affirming to me, rather than being genuine. Bombing is especially apparent after an argument. “You know I really love you, right?”
I want to cut off contact…. but no. I will NOT let him lead another woman into his nightmare!! I’ve been through this before, and YES!! I got the woman to GO!! To walk away from the toxic man!!
Where do I meet these toxic men?? On the effing internet. This ex I met several years ago. The relationship was so emotionally draining I’ve been single ever since. He’s like an emotional vampire. I’ve been working on myself and truly enjoying being an independent woman for the first time in my life. He started hooking himself into me again – and I started to feel his chaos. So. I will stop that right now. The minute the chaos starts, I will shut him down. No more “hoovering” off me.
Seriously. If you are on psych meds and you think your brain is working right – it is not. They make you MORE sick. I am 100 mg down and MORE stable. I am saving my damn SELF from mental disability cuz I didn’t stop researching until I found facts to prove what I knew – the drugs don’t fucking work. There is A LOT of proof – it just isn’t published by the MSM, or BigPharma would quit selling billions of drugs every year. Any questions – check our Robert Whitaker, Mad in America. That is his YouTube channel and Podcast, internet is madinamerica.com. He brought the ideas of “tardive dysphoria” and “oppositional tolerance” into the online conversation of people who are getting OFF their drugs and making better lives for themselves living WITH real, human emotions. When used on a long term basis, psych drugs, street drugs, alcohol, tobacco, or ANY addictive substance – will suppress a human being’s ability to feel their emotions and CAUSE chronic inability to manage / stabilize the natural chemicals in their brain.
Laura Manville, the belief that one has gained newfound stability by going off their meds is as common amongst mental health patients as patouchili and dreads are amongst white neo hippie stoners. I sincerely hope, for your sake, that you haven’t crashed so hard you’re no longer with us by now. You did say you’ve had depression for 25 years, though, and as far as mental illness goes, that’s not one of the big ones. Sucks ass for the person experiencing it and their loved ones, for sure, but it’s not up there with, say, schizophrenia or bipolar when it comes to destruction and functionality. Watch a true bipolar or schizophrenic go off their meds and see if you still think meds don’t work. Also, maybe you were misdiagnosed all along and your problem was/is something else.
You have no idea how thankful I am that you commented here and that I just happen to be so lucky to find this. What you are saying about your depression and the medications they put you on for it, for the most part I have to agree with you. I was what Is considered one of the rare lucky ones because after trying several failed antidepessant meds on me they actually found one that felt like a miracle drug to me. I’d never felt so clear minded and all my unexplainable constant fear that I had always lived with was finally after a lifetime lifted and gone. I still suffered with some serious bouts of depression from time to time but it was no longer constant. And I was no longer completely self conscious or so negative about myself that I’d let myself slide into abussive relationships just to keep from being alone. For once I felt alive and like I might actually have a chance of surviving this strange world. The catch was that I had a very understanding doctor and instead of writing me a prescription for my pills he was supplying me with his samples every month. So when he was offered a chance to retire and travel speaking to college kids around the world that were studying to become doctors and surgeons he sold his practice and the doctor that bought the practice told me that he doesn’t give out samples and pretty much ignored me and wouldn’t even write out a prescription. And mind you, the antidepressant I was taking as far as I know is not addictive, what I was worried about was the withdrawls I know that you go through when you suddenly stop taking them after taking them for a even a few months and nope, doctor could care less. Fortunately someone heard what was happening and he just so happened to have a couple of his own prescriptions of the same thing that he never took and he gave them to me. So I was able to ween myself off of them very slowly by decreasing the dosage just a little bit every week until I was completely off of them. Yes, of course I’ve got the wonderful joy of my constant depression back and the constant feel of devastation for no reason that I can find. And ive since then heard that the antidepressants that I was taking was removed from the market because of sevre side affects which I never had any at all, only the withdrawls if I ran out unexpectedly and didnt have my next dose right on the dot when it was due. what worries me is what being on them for years might have done to me, if there might have been some unreparable damage to my system ot mind if id stayed on them. im so thankful that i always loved reading. i started digging and reading about depresssion at the age of 15 in hopes that somewhere out there was some kind of cure for what was wrong with me. i was already suicidal and had been for as long back as i could remember, yes, clear back to childhood. Through the years ive learned that there really is no cure but that there are ways to try and head off most of the worst spells if you catch them in time. there are so many things you can do to help yourself and make surviving a little easier. i no longer hide my problem with depression from anyone. im completely open about it. i now know that im not alone and not a freak, there are people around me everyday that i meet that are sufferering from the same desiese, theyre just very good at hiding it just as many have told me that i was so good they never noticed at all. the best thing I’ve found about being open about it is that ive found a few friends and family members that have confessed that theyve been living with the same fear all their lives but just like me they were afraid to talk to anyone about it for fear that theyd be locked away for they rest of their life. so now we have each other to lean on and try to drag each other out of it when needed and we fullly understand what the other is going through. i still miss the feel of my antidepressnts, they did feel like life savers but the idea of being on them for the rest of my life just doesnt jive with me. i can only hope that more peope can learn to start opening up that theyre suffering from constant severe depression. im dead serious when i say that everyone needs to be better educated about it especially with todays society with more and more peoole than ever before are suffing with it.
You are absolutely correct in saying you do not realize your ex is a narcissist until after the break-up. I started to see signs he was a narc about 4 months before everything finally ended and I went no contact for good. The love bombing, the gas lighting, the discarding, and how he began to act when I lead on that I knew he was a narc. That’s when he projected his actions onto me, called ME a narc, and his anger got so violent that I would sleep for hours after an argument due to how exhausting they were. He had a new supply a month after we broke up, but I am sure he had her in the wings well before our relationship ended. They have been dating for 3 months and he just made it public that they are now engaged. The new supply has no clue because, like me, she is so blinded by the love bombing that she cannot see the real person my ex is. He is also paranoid that I am going to share with her what he was doing for the first month and a half they were together when he was still sending me inappropriate texts, videos, messages, and chats. I believe this is why he felt the need to lay it on thick with the new supply and trap her as tightly as possible. I considered sending her all of this solid proof of how slimy my ex really is, but I just figure she wouldn’t believe the black-and-white evidence staring right back at her in the face. I have read that this is typical narc behavior, to quickly find a new supply and propose in order to really “stick it to” the ex-victim. I admit I felt like I was stabbed into the heart with a hot poker for a few hours but then realized he is HER problem now. This means, I can grab a bowl of popcorn and watch the insanity unfold right in front of my eyes while celebrating my escape from such a disease that was slowly killing my soul.
I know I shouldn’t be laughing at your line about sitting back with a bowl of popcorn and enjoying while watching it unfold but I know that feeling oh so well, have been through it myself, its a nightmare to live and try to survive if you can. And I also know that its not at all enjoyable to watch it unfold on the next victim. I had to sadly go through that too. Even though she didnt know me I seriously felt the need and almost contacted her to warn her of what he really is. But I knew she would think I’m just the angry ex trying to get even with him. And guess what, she is now his ex too and yeah, she agreed that thats exactly what she would have thought. She ended up contacting me while they’re relationship was ending to ask if I noticed this and that about him while we were married. I was thankful she contacted me because not only did that mean she might come out of it without too much damage serious damage but it also confirmed that I wasnt just imagining things and that it wasnt all my fault that the marriage failed. She lost an awful lot to that relationship that i didnt think she should have given up but I do understand why she did it, letting him take with him all the outragiously expensive things that he had convinced her to buy him so thatb they would and could live their lives at the happiest, boat and brand new pick up truck, and on and on, was well worth the loss to get him out of her life as fast as possible. Though her and I live several states apart we became very good friends online and still hope that some day we’ll have the chance to meet each other in person. Trust me when I say we both are able somehow to laugh about some of it now and so thankful that she did reach out to me.
I have recently come to accept that my ex girlfriend was a narcissist. I was love bombed in the first few months, giving her a constant stream of attention and buying into her long term romantic plans. I believe I was sucked in as I am naturally an empathetic person. There were no signs of it ending but I was discarded in a brutal way recently after 7 months when I was struggling with burn out and depression. There was no empathy or emotional awareness from her, it came crashing down in the space of 3 weeks out of nowhere. She had started to get her emotional supply from another guy and I found it hard to get my head around. I challenged her and something immediately changed because I think she was unable to deal with the criticism and accept my boundaries. I finished things for the sake of my well being and am now doing wide scale reading to ensure I am more aware in the future. Thanks for the great article Zan!
my ex was deffinately a narc….he showed all those traits and now the divorce is ongoing because he refuses to disclose his and his fiances(engaged within 6 weeks of booting him out) finances….now he has a new feed i wonder how long before he shows his true colours to her
Hi Jay.
It takes most people 4-6 months to show their true colors.
I hope that during this time you gather your strength and distance yourself from your narc.
Best regards,
Zan
At the end of the relationship, I ask questions and the response was gibberish. I did not know what they were trying to say, when I asked my question. It was as if they were in an alternate universe.
Hi Jimmy.
I think your ex was past the point of caring, hence why you got an avoidant response. Needless to say, she was acting very selfishly as she only cared about her own feelings and couldn’t care any less about your closure.
Kind regards,
Zan