Interview With The Dumpee Who Got His Ex Back

This is an interview with the dumpee who got his ex back after 3.5 months—during which he was in no contact.

I hope the answers provided by the interviewee helps you better understand the things going on in the mind of the dumper.

1)Can you recall what happened on the day of the breakup?

We had an argument 2 days prior to the breakup. It honestly wasn’t that bad, but since she was basically looking for an opportunity to initiate the breakup, she finally took it.

On the day of the breakup, she came over with 2 friends and a big moving box. She packed her stuff, then came to my room to talk to me. I can’t quite recall what happened then and exactly what we talked about, but I remember that she was very emotional and so was I. I cried and she did as well. It seemed to me that she wasn’t 100% certain about the breakup.

Why do you think she wasn’t certain?

Because she didn’t hate me or anything like that. She still seemed to love me, but something made her doubt her decision.

Later, when we reconciled, she said it was her mom and her best friend who talked her into it.

2)How long after the breakup did your ex contact you?

She reached out like 1 week after the breakup, but it took us 3 weeks to set a date. She was very distant and cold and basically just wanted her stuff back and leave as quickly as she could. Fortunately, I convinced her to have a brief conversation but to no avail. During our short conversation, she told me only what I wanted to hear.

3)What did your ex do in your absence? Did she date anyone, drink or party?

Yep, all of that. She said she was happy for like 2-3 weeks after the breakup, but then it went into a downwards spiral. She indeed dated someone, only days after the breakup. They seemed to rush into a relationship and as soon as it turned sideways, she began drinking and partying a lot.

4)Did she post anything on social media?

At first, she tried to hide her new relationship from me, but it seemed odd since she somehow never had time anymore during weekends to pick up her stuff from my place. Because I knew her schedule and that she was free on the weekends, I got suspicious really fast. When she came over to get her stuff, I confronted her with my suspicion and she admitted it.

Afterwards, she uploaded a couple of pictures of him on all her social media accounts like within the next day.

How did it make you feel?

Of course, it felt horrible. The breakup basically hit me twice within a few weeks so I deleted her from all my social media accounts and tried to move on. Suddenly I had to deal with the fact that I simply got replaced by a new guy as if our relationship never mattered.

5)What did you do to cope with overwhelming anxiety?

Talking, talking, talking, but only to certain people. No family, no person that knows her, psychotherapy, reading and excessively hitting the gym. I prepared for every outcome that I could think of with my ex.

6)Did you experience depression, setbacks or panic attacks? Did you ever let go of hope?

Not really panic attacks, but definitely depression and loads of setbacks. I tried to let go of hope, but it never really worked 100% as there was always this small glimpse of hope that she would return.

7)What did your ex say when she broke no contact after 3.5 months? Did she want you back right away?

No, she thought I could never forgive her. All she wanted was to apologize for what she did to me. She broke no contact, saying that she found an old Gameboy of mine and wanted to return it. But it turned out to be a strategy.

What do you mean by strategy?

She used it as an excuse to reach out to me. Later, she told me she found the Gameboy weeks ago, but she knew she could use it sooner or later as a reason to reach out to me, to not directly have to approach me.

8)Did she ever want you to reach out to her during no contact by trying to lure you into messaging her?

I can’t answer that with 100% certainty, but she did send cryptic messages towards me indeed. Her WhatsApp status was one of them for example.

What did it say?

It said something like “time heals old wounds.” A friend of mine told me about it since I deleted her weeks ago. There was no way for me to see it.

9)Can you describe what happened when she contacted you about the Gameboy?

It basically came out of nowhere. She just said she still has my old Gameboy, and that she would like to give it back. I was actually pretty calm about the situation so I told her to keep it.

What happened then?

Then she said, “I can bring it over to your place.” From then on, I knew this is not about the Gameboy at all since she wouldn’t travel 40km just to drop off a Gameboy. Then I told her that she can drop it off at my place the next day. So she did. Her intention was to talk to me so she prepared an apology letter.

Did she appear anxious?

Yes, she was anxious. She tried to carry on with the conversation and I noticed her struggling, so I helped her out. I said: “Hey why don’t we go for a drink?” She instantly agreed.

At the table, she touched me a lot and complimented my looks. She noticed I put on a lot of muscle from going to the gym.

She said; “You knew I would come back, right?” I just replied with “Yep.” The next day, she asked me to meet up again.

10)Did she tell you what was on in her mind during no contact?

She said the first week was all fun and games and then she went neutral and thought a lot about me. Apparently, she accidentally said my name dozens of times and no one got her jokes so she couldn’t properly talk to anyone.

She also told me she woke up crying after dreaming of me. She said she was playing with the thought of contacting me for weeks and even tried to stalk me online, but I completely vanished while her rebound fell apart.

Since she felt anxious during no contact, she said she was intentionally driving past my neighborhood to see if my car was still there.

11)Did she say anything about the guy she was seeing?

Not really. I also told her she’s on probation as she needs to regain my trust. She agreed so I told her I want an honest, uprighteous apology and I want her to do therapy. She agreed to my requests.

She thought she can never get me back, but she wanted to apologize at least.

12)You said she uploaded a couple of pictures of him on social media. Did she remove them afterward?

Yes, she did. I don’t know when exactly though. As I mentioned already, I deleted her off of all my social media accounts.

13)Why do you think her rebound failed? What was the guy like?

Well, based on what she told me, he was so jealous he demanded to see a picture of me. He was really scared of me and had little emotional self-control. Plus, she never really loved him. It was mainly an attraction which faded quickly because she was still in love with me.

14)Do you have any words of advice for the dumpees struggling after the breakup?

Don’t compare your situation to someone else’s. You can’t plan the outcome and also, don’t demonize your ex. Don’t take everything you read or watch on the internet as facts either. Be careful who you listen to. Be careful who you talk to. 30 days NC is a myth. The new relationship is not always the better one and it can also fail just like any relationship. Listen to your belly feeling, work on yourself, but don’t get obsessed with it. Just keep going at a pace that feels good for you.

This is it the end of the interview with the dumpee who got his ex back.

As you can see from the interview, no contact has worked for him. It was the only way for him to wait for his ex’s rebound to fizzle out while he spent his time working on himself.

His ex also came back at incredible speed. She didn’t keep him around, messaging him and playing with his feelings. Instead, she contacted him, arranged a meeting and got together.

This is why you have nothing to prove to your ex by staying in contact with him or her. Go no contact forever and “wait” for things to change on your ex’s end. Once they do, you will likely hear from your ex.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.