I Left My Wife For Someone Else And Regret It

Sometimes people develop feelings for someone else while they’re still in a committed relationship. They enjoy spending time with another individual so much that they take their focus off their partner and take their partner for granted.

As a result, they decide to monkey-branch to a person who makes them feel adored the most and try to replace their partner.

And for a while, they do just that. They focus on exchanging feelings with the new person and having fun. Everything is going smoothly. But when they get to know the new person and encounter communication problems, they often have an epiphany.

They realize that the new person has shortcomings just like their ex and that the relationship will need a lot of work. It will require immense willpower and relationship skills to maintain it and grow their love.

The more work the relationship needs and the less happy they are, the higher the chance that monkey-branchers will eventually become regretful and want their ex back. That’s because pain and unhappiness force them to reflect on their actions and think about the future.

Guys who leave their wives for someone else usually regret cheating and leaving because the new person is much worse in comparison to their wives.

The new person normally:

• argues a lot
• demands a lot of affection/attention or rejects it
• nags or disapproves of her partner’s behavior or attitude
• expresses her emotions strongly and poorly
• doesn’t listen or support her partner
• and wants different things in life

You’d think that guys know what they’re getting themselves into when they fall in love with another woman, but that’s seldom the case. Most of the time, they’re completely clueless as they’re so eager to be with their affair that they neglect common sense and act on their feelings.

They feel so good to be validated by someone new that they’re willing to abandon a stable relationship for someone they know only superficially. This explains why they need at least a few months to understand the new person’s personality, get annoyed or tired, and break up.

They can, of course, break up sooner, but something normally has to go horribly wrong for that to happen. The couple must be highly incompatible, get along extremely poorly, or be emotionally unavailable.

Even abusive couples often stay together for years, so keep in mind that accurately predicting the length of a couple’s relationship is impossible. All you can do is see how they deal with problems and based on that, determine whether their relationship is healthy or is prone to breaking up.

In this post, we talk about what to do if you left your wife for someone else and regret it. We’ll discuss how why you regret leaving your wife and give you some tips on asking your wife for forgiveness (if you want her back).

Why did I leave my wife for someone else?

Before we talk about what to do after leaving your wife, you should try to learn as much as you can from your ordeal. By understanding your reasons for cheating and leaving, you can begin working on them right away and making sure it doesn’t happen again in the future.

So without further ado, one of the main reasons you left your wife for practically a stranger is that you didn’t do anything about how you felt about the new person. Instead of realizing that you were getting too close and stopping it, you continued to enjoy her company and got attached to her.

You didn’t see anything wrong with it because it’s been a while since you felt valued by someone you didn’t know and felt connected with. You thought it was your right to talk to the opposite gender and get along with women. You thought it was normal to have female friends and confide in them about everyday things.

Although it’s okay to have women friends to talk to from time to time (not all the time), you need to understand that you had a wife waiting for you at home. Your wife was supposed to be your #1 person – the one you told the things you told your crush.

But because she wasn’t, you eventually crossed the friendship boundary with the new woman and created an opportunity to betray your wife. You already cheated on her emotionally, so all that was missing was a physical betrayal.

Sleeping with her made you feel even more connected with the new person and decreased your commitment and attraction to your wife.

Suddenly, you realized your wife was obsolete and that the new person is the one you wanted to be with.

After developing a connection, this person seemed perfect to you. She agreed with you, shared your humor, asked you questions (showed interest in you), flirted, appeared to be on the same wavelength, and most importantly, didn’t complain or make you feel the way peopleph who know you do.

Everything about her was pure, exciting, and fun.

Had you known that you were looking at an ideal image of her, you might have been able to step away from her and focus on your wife. But because you got caught up in a fantasy, you ignored your rationality and took a chance with her anyway.

We can say that you didn’t care about morals at that particular time and that you were acting selfishly. You also didn’t care if your wife would find out about it and feel betrayed. All you could think about was that you deserved happiness and everything life had to offer.

With that said, here are 5 reasons why you left your wife for someone else.

You essentially betrayed your wife for a chance with someone new and exciting. You thought you could get more out of your life by getting together with a person who presented herself in the best way possible.

Little did you know that this person was hiding her true personality and that she needed more time to get comfortable with you to show you her true colors.

Why do I regret leaving my wife?

The reason you regret leaving your wife likely has something to do with the quality of your new relationship. You probably noticed that your new girlfriend isn’t as great as you’d initially thought and that your life isn’t going to be any better than when you were with your wife.

Because of this realization, you’re now doubting your girlfriend’s ability to make you happy and wonder if you should have tried to fix things with your wife. By fixing the relationship when you still had a chance, you would have avoided getting involved with someone not meant for you.

You would not have gotten hurt and regretted leaving your wife.

So since things haven’t gone according to plan, you’re now finally thinking about your actions and wondering if you should have done things differently. Maybe you could have stayed with your wife and been happy with her.

It’s one of those “what if” questions.

Also, your wife probably didn’t beg or beg much after the breakup, so you haven’t lost respect for her. On the contrary, you see that she doesn’t need you and that she’s strong enough to move on and be happy.

This tells you that she loves herself and that the breakup is your loss, not hers.

Since you’re not happy with the way things turned out, your ego and self-esteem are now saying that you may have made a mistake with your wife and that it may not be possible to repair things with her anymore.

This further increases your wife’s value in your eyes and increases your fear of missing out.

It’s also possible that you finally feel guilty for leaving your wife and chasing the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Guilt doesn’t usually occur right away. It kicks in after a couple has gotten through the infatuation phase because that’s when people realize they’ve been unfair or mean to others.

So if you want to know why you regret leaving your wife, know that it’s probably because:

• the new person didn’t measure up to the standards your wife has set
• you’ve realized that the new person wouldn’t make a good wife
• you fell into depression or got hurt and anxious
• or you feel bad for hurting your wife and disappointing your family

You should try to figure out why you regret leaving your wife for someone else so you can make some healthy changes in your life. Changes that will require you to admit to cheating and motivate you to start improving yourself.

What to do when you regret leaving your wife for someone else?

Once you’ve learned why you left your wife and became regretful, you should commence your self-improvement process. You must identify your reasons for leaving your wife for another person and work on those reasons.

You can do that by thinking about them, journaling them, or talking about them with friends and therapists.

If you just feel sorry for yourself or your wife, you won’t grow much if at all. You’ll just sulk and leave things as they are.

So make sure to discover your reasons for cheating. By discovering them, you’ll be able to make the changes you needed to make a long time ago and forgive yourself for hurting your wife.

After that, you should ask yourself whether you want to be with your wife again. You clearly aren’t happy with your new partner, so the only question is if you were happy with your wife. If you were, you should break up with your new girlfriend and be honest about it.

Tell her you’re sorry for giving her hope and breaking her heart but that you shouldn’t have cheated on your wife and that you’ll try to make things right with her. It won’t be easy to say this because you’ll feel bad for telling her you’ll be going back to your wife, but you should try to be honest this time.

She may not be your ideal partner, but she deserves to know why you’re breaking up with her and what you’re going to do afterward.

If you discern you don’t want your wife back, however, then you should just break up with your partner. State the reasons for breaking up and say you’ll both be needing some space and time to yourselves. You can tell her she can reach out if she’s having a hard time coping with the breakup and that you’ll gladly help her find closure.

Sadly, you can’t keep talking to this person if you decide to get back with your wife. Your wife will need to see that your relationship has ended and that you’re committed to doing what’s best for her and the relationship.

She’ll probably be anxious and observant of your behavior for a few months, but you can’t blame her for needing time to trust you again.

To ask your wife to get back together, all you’ll have to do is reach out and talk with her. Make sure to do this after you’ve broken up with your girlfriend, though. You don’t want to keep her around as a backup plan as it’d be unfair to your wife and your girlfriend.

Anyway, you should immediately apologize for hurting her and say it was selfish of you to leave her for someone else. Tell her you have strong feelings for her and that if she takes you back that you’ll work hard to regain her forgiveness and trust.

Things will be difficult for a while but do reiterate that you’re prepared to put in the work as long as she can forgive you and is willing to work on being vulnerable around you.

If she says no, then there’s not much you can do. You should thank her for her time and keep in mind that the ball is in her court.

Did you leave your wife for someone else and regret it? Let us know what you’re going through in the comments below.

And if you want to confide in us about your wife and feelings of regret, sign up for coaching here.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.