Not all men beg their ex for forgiveness and another chance. Many men know their worth because they’ve been through a difficult breakup before or did the self-work, so they simply walk away and never look back. They understand that begging is self-degrading and that couples should work on issues while they’re together.
When they become exes, they should give each other some space and focus on reflection and growth. By focusing on themselves rather than each other, they can outgrow their old selves and prepare themselves for new romantic opportunities.
If your ex let you walk away, your ex must have been partially detached or mentally prepared for a breakup. He must have grown his self-esteem and understood that a potential breakup isn’t the end of the world.
It’s a sign that the relationship was struggling and couldn’t overcome its problems. Your ex now knows that chasing you is unfair to him and that it’s the quitter’s job to express regret and the desire to work on the relationship.
Dumpees mustn’t pester the dumper and give him or her remaining power and control. When the dumpee runs after the dumper and shows he or she is willing to do anything to be a couple again, the dumpee not only becomes unattractive but also annoying. That’s because the dumper feels unheard and disrespected and gains total control of the breakup.
The dumper feels pressured and thinks the dumpee is in complete denial.
Dumpees with healthy self-love don’t beg for second chances. They don’t do it even if they made big mistakes and “deserved” to get dumped. As worthy people, they love themselves too much to cling to their ex and put their ex in charge of their health and well-being.
So if you’re wondering why your ex let you walk away so easily, remember that your ex might have seen the breakup coming, had decent self-esteem, or went through an agonizing breakup before and understood it was pointless to beg and plead. It made more sense to walk away and exude high self-esteem. By projecting acceptance and strength, your ex protected his image and had fewer reasons to think poorly of himself.
You shouldn’t assume that every person will discard his or her dignity and insist on getting back together. You should consider the possibility that they’ll walk away and never look back, especially if you broke up with them before. By keeping the fragility of a relationship in mind, you can avoid abandoning a relationship before it’s fully over and expecting your partner to do the hard work.
If you’re not happy with your partner’s relationship performance, you should look for healthy solutions to resolve difficulties. Leaving a relationship should be considered an option only when you’ve tried everything to make it work. “Everything” includes respectful conversations, therapy, and ultimatums to leave if things don’t change.
Once you initiate a breakup, that’s it. Your actions show that you’ve given up on communication and trying to make things work. They show that you’re frustrated with your ex, which further discourages your ex from wanting to solve problems.
You see, quitters don’t get much sympathy and understanding. They offend people and make them react negatively.
That’s why you shouldn’t expect someone you left to care about you suddenly. Mainly if not only those who experience a shock and have poor self-esteem chase after their ex and try to reason with their ex. Most of the time, they fail to bring their ex back because their ex feels offended that they’re trying to fix things so late. The dumper expected to be fought for during the relationship, not after when things already fell apart.
So if your ex-boyfriend let you walk away easily, remember that he likely didn’t feel the desire to fight for the relationship after you’ve given up. He must have felt disrespected by how quickly you gave up and decided to let you be. Space prevented him from desperately chasing your recognition and allowed him to retain his value as a person.
Had he begged and pleaded and talked to you frequently, he would have risked getting rejected again and lost respect for himself. To avoid getting hurt further, he concluded that walking away with his head held high would bring the most stability to his life. It would let him think positively about himself and make you curious about him.
Simply put, your ex let you go because:
- It’s what you asked for.
- It was the safest thing your ex could have done.
The alternative would have made your ex look insecure, weak, and desperate for your attention and love.
In today’s article, we discuss why your ex let you walk away so easily and what you can do if you regret breaking up with your ex.
He let me walk away so easily
When a guy doesn’t oppose the breakup, he understands that opposing it would be unfair to his values and the work he’s put into the relationship. He wasn’t perfect, but he stayed committed even though he wasn’t happy all the time. Despite being unhappy at times, he stayed loyal and kept the relationship going.
That’s why the breakup pushed him over the edge, destroyed his relationship commitment, and made him let you walk away as if you didn’t matter. He figured that since you expressed the desire to walk away, he had no right to stop you and prevent you from being happy. All he could do was open the doors for you and let you get closer to your goals, whatever they may be.
Bear in mind that your ex had no fight left in him. He was tired of the relationship not working, so he accepted the breakup and focused on things that were in his power to control. Things like his friends, hobbies, and ambitions.
So don’t be surprised if your ex let you walk easily. He probably didn’t want to break up but felt he had no choice but to respect your decision and himself. If he refused to let you go, he would have made breakup mistakes, looked desperate, and struggled to think positively about himself.
Since you threw in the towel, your ex didn’t see the point in fighting for the relationship. It made more sense to go along with the breakup and let you do what you want.
This is especially the case if the relationship had problems because that would imply your ex thought about breaking up before, felt detached, and saw the breakup coming. He prepared himself for the possibility that you’d fall out of love and initiate the breakup.
The same applies if you’ve broken up before. Multiple breakups make couples get used to rejection and make them feel less scared of not getting back together. If you broke up a least once, your ex may have stopped being afraid of being broken up with and accepted the possibility of staying broken up and ending up with someone else.
That’s why you should never threaten a breakup. You should stay committed until you’re certain you can’t achieve your relationship goals with your partner. That’s when you can give ultimatums or simply pull the plug.
Your ex should feel inspired to work on himself and the relationship. If you can’t inspire your ex with kind words and actions, you shouldn’t rely on a breakup to scare and shock your ex to change. Although many dumpees become better versions of themselves after the breakup, they need months to change permanently and risk detaching.
Emotionally strong dumpees usually don’t change, nor beg their ex to reconsider because they don’t get their self-esteem crushed. Most of them hold their ex responsible for abandoning them and move on with their lives. Keep that in mind the next time you contemplate breaking up with someone just to make him take you seriously and change.
People will change in a relationship if they value their partner, fear breaking up, and truly want to change. If they don’t care what happens to the relationship and take their partner for granted, they usually take a passive approach and wait for karma to hit them. Basically, they fail to evolve and face the consequences of their actions and inactions.
Having said that, here are 7 different reasons why your ex let you walk away so easily.
What should I do if I regret breaking up with my ex?
If you regret leaving your ex, your task is simple. All you have to do is reach out to your ex and apologize for making a selfish/unpremeditated decision. You have to let your ex know you’re sorry for leaving and that you want to get back together to address the issues that broke you up.
Your ex should understand why you left and how you intend to fix the problems. By understanding these important matters, he may be able to restore his trust in you and give the broken relationship another chance. There’s no guarantee your ex will take you back, especially if the relationship had an ugly ending. But if you love your ex and want to give him another try, you should take the initiative.
This means you should contact your ex and take responsibility for your actions. Don’t expect your ex to chase you and beg you to take him back. Depending on your ex’s self-esteem, personality, and perception of you, your ex may not do that. He may just keep his feelings to himself and work on letting go.
It’s the dumper’s job to fix what he or she broke. The dumper should show the dumpee that he or she is in pain and regrets leaving the relationship. If the dumpee still loves the dumper, he or she may be willing to forgive the dumper and take him or her back.
The dumper should never assume that the dumpee will fight for the relationship and refuse to let go if he truly loves the dumper. Only dumpees who lack love for themselves put their ex so high up on a pedestal and in a position to reject them. Such dumpees suffer immensely because they expect their ex to fix their problems for them. They don’t have what it takes to self-prioritize and get out of denial.
So if you wish you hadn’t broken up with your ex, put in the effort you wanted your ex to put in. Give your ex his power back so your ex has something to work with. Without returning your ex’s power, your ex can’t feel respected as an equal and feel inspired to invest in you.
There’s a chance your ex will reject you and ask for space. But that’s a risk you decided to take when you left your ex. Back then, you were okay with breaking up and losing your ex forever. You were emotional, so you didn’t think much about the future.
My advice is not to overthink things. If you truly want to be with your ex, you must be brave and tell your ex how you feel. Your ex will accept and reciprocate your feelings unless you hurt your ex too much and/or waited too long for your ex to detach.
Did your ex let you walk away easily? Why do you think he did that? Post your thoughts below.
And if you’re looking for help with your ex, consider signing up for private coaching. At Magnet of Success, we help both dumpees and dumpers understand breakups and reconciliations.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
