Going Through A Breakup Alone

Going through a breakup alone can be one of the hardest experiences you’ll ever face. People cope with grief way better when surrounded by understanding and supportive family members and friends. This is because they don’t feel alone in the breakup and have someone to rely on when things get tough.

And things get tough quite often. Breakups trigger people’s insecurities and fears and make them want their ex’s attention and love. They hurt their self-esteem so badly that they become dependent on their ex for validation and healing. But because their ex no longer wants to provide them with relationship benefits, they feel alone and have no choice but to find an alternative way to obtain positive feelings and wean off their ex.

The best way to do that is to have someone to talk to.

If you have no one to confide in, you should talk to a mental health expert. Talking to a therapist (someone who listens and understands you) will make your separation anxiety, insecurities, and suffering in general much better. It won’t eliminate your problems completely and right away, but it will let you express yourself, which is necessary for detaching from your ex and falling back in love with yourself.

If you live in a place where therapy is unavailable or too expensive, you can always open up to someone else. This can be your boss, a coworker, a teacher, a mentor, or someone you know enough not to come across as weird and oversharing. You probably have at least one person in your life who will listen to your story and offer sympathy and care.

Someone who will hear you out simply because you’re going through a lot and need help.

Try contacting your social media friends and the people you interacted with in the past. This could be your friends, coworkers, or schoolmates you fell out of touch with. Someone will agree to meet up with you and lend you an ear. Of course, you shouldn’t just dump all your problems on the new person and come across as a user. But do be honest and say that the breakup has made you realize the importance of catching up with people you used to be close to.

I don’t think anyone will feel used when you appear honest, vulnerable, and interested in their life. They’ll probably find your story interesting and express their opinion and wish to help.

I reiterate that it’s super important to talk to someone/anyone who listens and cares. Don’t just hold your breakup pain inside and suffer alone. You shouldn’t go through something as difficult as a breakup completely alone. It’s not healthy to ignore your pain and anxiety and simply wait for it to go away. Although it will eventually subside, it will be much more painful and take much longer than if you find someone to confide in.

If you can’t find anyone to talk to no matter where you look, it’s a sign that you prioritized other things in life and that your social life could use some improvement. You should spend your energy and time learning why things are the way they are and making new connections.

You can download apps to connect with people who are into the same things as you and join local activities that interest you. Even if you’re not very interested in them, you can join them just to give them a try, keep yourself busy, and surround yourself with people. You’ll have an easier time coping with the breakup when you’re physically close to others.

The reason for that is that you’ll force yourself to interact with others and have less time to think about your ex.

So if you’re going through a breakup alone, know that you have some work to do. You have to discover your reasons for being alone and put yourself in social situations where you don’t have to be alone. You should have done this sooner so you wouldn’t have to feel alone, but since you haven’t, this is your time to change things. Find a way to keep yourself busy with the help of other people.

That way, you’ll think less about your ex and more about yourself.

In this article, we shed some light on what to do if you’re going through a breakup alone.

A strong social life can make a significant difference

When you’re going through a breakup alone, especially a tough breakup, it’s important not to resign to your circumstances and settle for a life of complete solitude. Dealing with the breakup alone could make you feel lonely and scared and prolong your anxiety and depression. It could make you feel sorry for yourself and force you to think of your ex as the only person in the world who could make your problems and pain go away.

As a dumpee, you will often think about your ex. Thinking about the person who left you will give you a tiny sense of control and ease your pain a little bit. It won’t, however, make you let go of your ex. To let go, you’ll need to find ways to distract yourself and get your ex out of your system. This means you’ll have to accept the possibility that your ex might not return and that the best thing to do is to get over your ex.

Recovering from the breakup takes time, but it gets easier when you feel socially fulfilled. Social fulfillment is one of the most important factors in getting over an ex who left you. I’m not saying it’s impossible to recover from heartbreak without friends and people to confide in, but it is significantly easier. The better your social life is, the more support you will have and the better you will feel.

If you suffer from clinical depression, panic attacks, or various mental health issues, your life will be much easier with people to lean on. Not only will support be much more available to you, but you’ll also have less time to obsess over your ex and have fewer setbacks.

So don’t take a poor social life lightly. If you’re alone, there’s a risk of shutting yourself in and thinking about your ex obsessively rather than keeping yourself busy with people who listen. A lack of social life could complicate your recovery process and cause you long-term problems such as trust issues and depression.

Hence, it may be best to do something about it now that you’re hurting. If you acknowledge your lackings and do things right, you’ll expand your social circle and be happier as a result. Like it or not, people are happier when they interact with others. Some of the happiest people are those who connect with others. Connections make them feel heard and important and improve various aspects of their life, not just their emotional well-being.

If you have friends, they could help you get a job when a new position opens up. They could also give honest feedback and encourage you to invest in yourself and things that could help you in the long run.

I know it’s hard to meet like-minded people you can trust and befriend, but try not to be afraid of putting yourself back out there. Be scared of ignoring the need to evolve from the breakup and not getting the most out of life. If you do nothing now that you know what you need to improve, you can expect the next breakup or difficult situation to affect you similarly.

With that in mind, here are some potential downsides to facing a breakup on your own.

Other things to do when you’re going through a breakup alone

While you’re working on improving your social life, there are a few other things you can do to avoid pain and maximize healing. Besides therapy (which is great by the way), you should start journaling. When you’re all alone, journaling can serve as a substitute for talking to someone. It won’t be quite the same (nothing beats talking to a person about your problems), but journaling will help you express yourself and get some difficult thoughts out of your head and emotions under control.

I suggest journaling on paper. I don’t know what it is, but there’s something special about putting your thoughts and feelings down on paper. Yes, there’s the physical aspect to it (people like tangible things), but it may also feel better because it’s your handwriting. Every time you see it, you know that you’re working toward a pre-determined goal and feel accomplished.

Also, writing by hand is better for memory and takes longer, which means it lets you express yourself longer. Putting your writings close to you can serve both as a tool to cope with anxiety and a reminder to work on yourself.

I don’t care which method of journaling you choose as long as it helps you feel less alone, anxious, scared, insecure, and depressed. Journal whenever you feel the need to talk to someone about your problems but can’t because you don’t have anyone to talk to.

Journaling is one of many great healing methods, but it’s not the only thing you can do to feel better. You can (and should) also exercise frequently. A few times a week is recommended, but every or every second day is even better. Exercising will help in many ways.

It will:

• increase the release of happy hormones in your brain
• lower your stress
• improve your mood
• help you relax and sleep better
• lower the risk of heart disease
• improve your physique and self-esteem
• and distract you from thinking about your ex

It won’t help you forget about your ex overnight, especially if the breakup just happened, but it will better your life slowly and benefit you long-term. It may be difficult to notice life getting better in the moment when you’re hurting, but stay physically active and your obsession with your ex will continue to wane. When you detach a bit and see physical improvements, you’ll like yourself more and feel more motivated to keep exercising.

Speaking about motivation, it can be hard to come by when you get dumped by someone you love. But despite it being hard, you must force yourself to work on all kinds of goals. Work on your hobbies, interests, finances, education, knowledge, and things that make you happy and give your life meaning.

You’ll suffer less if you do well and know your purpose and worth. If you know what makes you happy and where you’re going, you’ll recover quicker than someone who relied on his or her ex for happiness and survival.

So if you’re going through a breakup alone and you’re working on making some new friends and people to confide in, don’t forget to also invest in other parts of your life. Invest in things that give your life meaning. That way, loneliness will impact you less.

Make sure to also join breakup communities. This blog has a Discord community where you can talk to other dumpees going through similar situations. They may give you some useful advice and console you when you’re having a hard time coping with the post-breakup blues. Feel free to contact us directly if you need answers and advice from us.

There’s a lot of help available to you if you feel alone. You don’t even have to leave your house (although you should go out and change the scenery) as much as possible. You can simply talk to people online and confide in them. They’ll give you the emotional support you need to deal with rejection and get your happy self back.

Try not to set any deadlines for your healing. You’ll heal when you’ve processed the breakup and rediscovered your worth. If you have low self-esteem, unprocessed childhood traumas, and a lack of means to support yourself on top of no one to talk to about your problems, it will likely take you longer to recover. This is because you’ll have to improve other aspects of your life before you feel happy with who you are.

My advice is to focus hard on your flaws and lackings. Consider the breakup a kick in the butt you need to grow and have a better life because of it. A better life means being independent and better prepared for unpredictable and painful things.

And remember. Even if you do everything right, it may be hard to notice any short-term improvements. The breakup pain can sometimes feel endless, but stay consistent and you’ll eventually grow stronger and notice your interest in your ex starting to fade. You’ll notice that despite being alone, you don’t care about your ex as much as you did when you got dumped and felt lost and unsupported.

Try to stay optimistic. Remind yourself that you won’t always feel so hurt and that your life will keep getting better as long as you actively work on it.

Are you going through a breakup alone? What are your plans to not feel so alone? Share your plans and goals in the comments below.

And if you’re looking for 1-on-1 help with your breakup, subscribe to a breakup coaching session with us. We’re here to support you so you feel less alone.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.