Apologizing to an ex after the breakup is one of the worst things you can do as a dumpee.
It’s so bad because apologizing is an instinctual act that shows your ex that you respect him or her more than yourself.
And that’s something your ex should never find out. If he or she does, however, your ex could quickly destroy your image and coincidentally, your self-esteem.
So be extremely careful who you give your heart to.
You must understand that your ex doesn’t really want, nor deserve to hear your heartfelt apologies. Your ex is just so done with the relationship that he or she mainly feels toxic emotions toward you.
That’s why apologizing to your ex will likely only make your ex feel even more negative emotions toward you—which will further empower him or her.
So gather the remnants of your self-esteem and start following the indefinite no contact rule.
When you do, you will avoid making a needy fool of yourself and—consequently prevent your ex’s ego from inflating.
If you’re still interested in learning about apologizing to your ex, keep reading. In this article, we’ll discuss what apologizing to an ex does and why you should avoid it at all costs.
Apologizing to an ex after the breakup
If you’re thinking of apologizing to your ex after the breakup, you need to stop and realize that what you’re about to do is self-destructive.
Your desire to apologize to your ex may be genuine, but it’s still coming from a very weak place due to your damaged self-esteem and hurt ego.
That’s why you must first realize, understand, and feel that you’re trying to apologize for the reasons that don’t even relate to your ex.
They are about you and the way you feel about yourself.
So instead of apologizing to your ex, save yourself the embarrassment and prohibit yourself from reaching out to your ex ever again.
This includes apologizing, begging, and even talking to your ex.
There really are no excuses in this world for you to reach out to your ex ever again.
I know that you may feel the need to apologize for something you may or may not have done, but apologizing late or more than once has the opposite of the desired effect.
When you apologize to an ex profusely, you only force your ex to relive the bad times—which coincidentally helps your ex associate more negative behavior to your persona.
And when your ex inadvertently thinks worse of you, he or she will feel that way too.
So give yourself some time to let go of your impulsive desires to confess your sins to your ex and you will soon live guilt-free again.
I can’t stop apologizing to my ex
If you can’t stop apologizing to your ex, it’s probably got more to do with you and the way you see yourself than it’s got to do with your ex.
It probably means that you can’t forgive yourself for acting irrationally so you’re now looking for forgiveness and sympathy from your ex.
But your ex likely doesn’t give you much or any of that at all because your ex just doesn’t care enough. He or she prefers peace and quiet—and absolutely expects it from the breakup.
But instead, your ex gets endless apologies which only makes him or her want to deal with you even less.
This is why it’s crucial for you to understand that your ex will eventually get tired of your never-ending apologies and could even start resenting and ignoring you.
You just need to annoy your ex long enough and push him or her over the edge first.
Unfortunately, this is something you can very easily do when you’re hurt and your ex is in a powerful state of mind. That’s because no matter how patient, kind, and understanding your ex is, he or she has a tipping point.
I believe everyone does. People just need to be bothered and annoyed long enough.
So if you’re wondering how you can do that, here’s how you can apologize to your ex and ruin your self-esteem even more.
If you’re doing this to your ex, do your very best to stop acting on impulse. Your ex likely won’t tolerate you forever no matter how patient he or she is.
When your ex snaps and shows his or her fangs, you will experience a huge emotional setback. And that’s when you’ll finally realize what your behavior has caused.
Keep this in mind as a precaution.
Apologizing to an ex is an insecurity
Endlessly apologizing to your ex comes from a lack of stability. It shows that you’re very unhappy with the separation and that you need your ex to be content.
And that’s not something that attracts your ex. He or she just doesn’t want to hear how sorry you are and how much you regret causing the breakup.
Your ex knows that you regret it very much but your ex just doesn’t care. He or she is too caught up in his or her own life.
Your ex is busy:
- prioritizing his or her own needs
- enjoying hobbies and activities that he or she likes
- spending time with friends and family
- dating others
- naturally forgiving and forgetting your mistakes/neediness
- moving on
Your ex doesn’t want to hear you apologize extensively because it gives your ex too much power. And when it gives your ex the power to feel stronger about himself or herself, it immediately makes you look weak.
That’s why you should never, ever apologize to your ex too much as it will give him or her the ability to control your well-being.
You must understand that your ex already possesses all the post-breakup power and control due to the breakup. So willingly giving up the remainder of your significance could cause a huge imbalance to your power-struggling relationship.
Apologizing profusely when you’re weak and miserable would prove to your ex that you don’t respect yourself enough.
And depending on how mature your ex is, he or she could use this opportunity to get back at you for everything you’d ever done.
Don’t overly apologize to an ex!
Never, ever let your ex know that you’re taking full responsibility for the breakup.
It’s okay to apologize for specific bad behavior, but not for everything you’d ever done wrong.
The pain from the breakup doesn’t give you the green light to apologize to your ex a million times no matter how badly you hurt your ex.
The time when you could have apologized was during the relationship. So now that your relationship with your ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriend, husband, wife, fiancé, or fiancée has ended, it’s too late to apologize for many months ago.
If you try your luck regardless of the warnings in this article, you’ll sound like a broken record to your ex.
You’ll apologize for the same thing over and over again and show how much the breakup has affected you.
Despite your best intentions, you’ll portray negativity and weakness—which your ex likely left you for.
So don’t apologize for something you’d done months or years ago and give your ex nothing but positivity from this day onward.
It’s the best way to get your ex to want you back.
Should I apologize to an ex years later?
The short answer is no. You shouldn’t apologize to an ex years later when you’ve both let go of the breakup already.
You don’t need to tell your ex that you regret doing certain things because it will either:
- Reopen his or her wound.
- Mean absolutely nothing to your ex because your ex has let go of your misdeed long ago.
Your ex hasn’t been waiting for your apology all these years as your ex isn’t dependent on it.
So there’s really no point in apologizing for something your ex has forgiven and forgotten you for.
Save your apologies and talk about the positive things instead. It’s much better than reminding your ex about the negatives.
This applies to every person and every case whether you’re the dumpee or the dumper.
When should I apologize to an ex then?
The one and only time when you should apologize to your ex is right after the breakup—preferably during the closure speech.
So if you happen to get an opportunity to say what’s on your mind, be brief and apologize only once.
Tell your ex (in a sentence or two) that you’ve realized your mistakes and that you now see the way your actions have hurt him or her. Once you’ve said that, wish your ex the best of luck on his or her journey and leave the conversation.
That’s it.
You shouldn’t burden your ex with life stories and various heavy topics your ex is far from ready to discuss.
Your ex is trusting you to be quick and to go straight to the point. In other words, “the what, when, and why” is all your ex wants to hear.
So don’t pester your ex when all he or she wants is to get it over with.
No closure from an ex
If you didn’t get closure from your ex, on the other hand, you mustn’t seek it! You won’t get it even if you cry for it and demand it.
You should instead save your apologies and give yourself the love that you deserve.
Remember that you don’t need your ex to feel better about yourself and your misconduct. Only you can give yourself the relief that you so badly crave.
So take a moment to truly forgive yourself for hurting your ex.
Do this multiple times a day and you’ll see that the past doesn’t definite you even if your ex still resents you.
Your ex holding a grudge against you is your ex’s problem. It really doesn’t interest you in the slightest.
You have enough of your own problems and concerns right now so I doubt you could use your ex’s as well.
How to apologize to an ex?
It’s humiliating to apologize and beg and plead after the breakup. It truly is. So if you’re fresh out of the breakup and you’re wondering how to apologize to an ex, here’s how you can do it.
Once you’ve told your ex that you’re sorry for x, y, and z, there’s no more apologizing.
You mustn’t apologize on your bad days and you mustn’t apologize if your ex verbally attacks you out of the blue.
You can’t hand over your previously-mentioned post-breakup power to a power-hungry ex-partner.
Under no circumstances should you give your ex more significance than he or she deserves. If you do, you would tell your ex that you weren’t worthy of his or her love.
And that’s very bad because your ex could use that newly gained strength to justify his or her reasons for leaving.
Examples on how to apologize to an ex
Here are a few things you can say to your ex when your ex breaks up with you.
- I see now that my actions have hurt you. It was wrong of me to ignore you.
- I understand how my lack of presence made you feel. You must have felt so neglected and belittled. I wish I had realized this sooner.
- I wasn’t completely happy with my circumstances (job, school, friends, addictions, etc.) I’m really sorry for projecting my own frustrations/insecurities onto you. I should have kept them away from home.
- My poor attitude had caused a lot of long-term damage and I realize this now. It must have been so difficult for you.
- I appreciate that you’re taking the time to hear me out so I’ll be quick. I just wanted to thank you in person for all these years as I had a lot of fun. Take care of yourself and I wish you the best of luck wherever your life takes you.
Have you tried apologizing to an ex after the breakup? How long after the breakup did you try and what was your ex’s reaction? Drop a comment below this article.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
My ex left me because of my behavior that was a result of a misdiagnosed mental health condition. After the breakup was when the proper diagnosis was determined. My ex held onto an item of mine after an exchange had already taken place weeks ago.. it was something I needed and therefore reached out (2 and a half months after breakup) asking for it back and wanted to catch up. She declined the offer to catch up, saying we both needed to continue healing so we can move on. I took that as closure.. however, she had pointed out in the relationship that what I ended up being diagnosed with was a distinct possibility and turned out she was right. I love her a lot and am very disappointed with how this ended up for me.. after she declined the meetup, I told her about the news and how life changing it was for me and how grateful I was to have met her and wished i had listened to her. I then apologized for my behavior and anything I had said or done that hurt her.in the relationship. She replied with a heart reaction. It hurts that I have to accept its over because of previous issues in my life that I felt were addressed, and it hurts even more knowing that apologizing for it only pushed her away more
Hi Anonymous.
When an ex breaks up with you, her perception of you is not that great. That’s why speaking with her and apologizing doesn’t make things any better. It shows her she was right about the way you are and dumping you. You need to take your power back by going no contact and leaving her alone for as long as it takes.
Stay strong!
Zan
Hi Zan,
My ex broke up with me months ago because I hurt her a lot with some things I did. I begged and pleaded and of course (knowing what I know now) nothing. She texted me 3 weeks later asking how I’ve been and if I had anyone. She later got cold because of a joke I said. She disappeared and appeared again every few days but I kept my composure and didn’t chase. Later she told me that despite being hurt she still misses me and if I had been with anyone else since then. I said to meetup and she said yes after her trip abroad that week. We were flirting and being very hot with each other. So far so good. However I was still extremely dependent of her and made every mistake in the book. We were having a video call and she made a fuss out of something I said that was harmless and said not to contact her. I tried to explain but she didn’t care and instead of putting my foot down, I begged her not to leave and told her how much I was hurt when she left. She calmed down and said to take things slow. The next days became hot and cold, one time being romantic and flirty the next cold and distant and teasing. A few days later I tried to arrange a date on a certain day and she told me she would see if she could or not. The day before she said she couldn’t and I pressured her to agree to another day. She said she was feeling smothered and I said that I just wanted to be sure I wasn´t being lead on. She said she would arrange something when she could. Nest week I went on a trip and we couldn´t meet up, I was still texting her and, twice or thrice, when she left me on seen, I acted on impulse and called her out on it. I know… I asked when she was free the next week and she said Tuesday but didn’t know the hour (she wasn´t usually in her home city back then). Monday she made a fuss about something I texted and said “goodbye” and I begged and pleaded again. She calmed down after that. Later that day I said that I didn´t want to smother but would like to meetup with her the next day. She promised she would try. Come Tuesday she only told me that same hour that she was free at her house after I told her I was nearby. I lied, I was far away but wanted to know if she was gonna give an excuse or not. I tried to get there on time but I ran out of fuel and couldn´t. I explained it and the next day I told her if we could meetup another day. She said that not that week, but she would see the next. She was being kinda distant and I asked her why on phone she said it was due to private reasons, and that she couldn´t talk about us because she was close to her friends. I insisted a bit on talking ( I know…) and she repeated she couldn´t. Later I apologized. Come Sunday I asked her if she already knew when she was free. She said she could on Friday and we kept texting. On Monday I asked her something about the meetup and she said we didn’t arrange anything. I asked her if she could, she said she would see. Thursday I asked if she had an answer about it and she said she could in the morning. Later that day she said we need to talk. She said she was still feeling smothered and that she didn’t like the sexual innuendos in some of our messages. I told her that maybe sometime I smothered because I liked her a lot. The next day I tried to explain myself and my behaviours. She changed the subject after a while and was talking in a joking teasing way. I tried to do the same but kinda felt like walking on thin ice. Se lay on the bed with the covers on and I lay next to her. She became cold after that. I asked what’s wrong and she said that I was very forceful in lying in her bed and that it reminded of the other things I did that hurt her ( she felt I had used her for sex). I said that I just wanted to be sweet and kiss her cheek. Se said that she couldn’t see me in a romantic way due to the hurt of the past, that she was willing to give me a chance but what I did only reminded her of those mistakes. I begged, pleaded and tried to explain my past action a little tearful ( I know…). Nothing. Sometimes later we talked on the phoned and I criticized her over somethings she did and her inconstant behaviour. I told her she couldn’t criticise me for seeming to only want sex because sometimes she seemed to be the one in it for it. She explained herself and said she war very hurt by me saying she never had feelings for me. I said it wasn’t the case, it just felt like it sometimes, but I knew it wasn’t the case. That I just wanted her to be as understanding of my doubts and insecurities as I was of hers. She said I was being agressive in the way I talked, but I just was trying to explain my side. I asked for another chance and she said “For now I can´t tell you I can”, I insisted and she said to not be insistint and that I was being a bit toxic. I accepted. We then said goodbye to eachother. It has been a week since then. Part of me wants to apologize for giving the idea that I told her she never had feelings and hurting her, because altough I said it wasn’t the case that I thought that, I don’t know if she understood that. And for appearing agressive. I know I appeared very weak and my chances are slim to none to having something with her in the future. But if there is I don’t know if I should remain in no contact, or apologise for appearing to give the idea she never had feelings and for my conduct.
Hi Jonathan.
Even though you made quite a few mistakes, they weren’t the reason you couldn’t start a new relationship. The problem was that he came back way too soon – before she processed the breakup and realized your worth. I think she came back just because she felt a bit guilty and nostalgic. It wasn’t good enough for the relationship to work.
Stay in contact this time, Jonathan. Let her go through the dumper stages.
Zan
Hi guys,
My wife walked out of me out the blue after an argument. We had been married for 11 months and together for 8 years (on and off). I was the one who always had control in terms of the power dynamics. She started a new job as a fitness instructor and since then our relationship went downhill. Constantly spending a crazy amount of time on her new job as well as always on her phone. I kept confronting her about it. She kept on telling me I was jealous of her and wasn’t supporting her dreams etc. we were talking about having kids so I didn’t understand what the preoccupation was about? Although I do suspect that the job is a bit of a cult. She went out of town for a “strat session” for a week ; she originally said only a 3 days then sneakily changed it to 7. When she got back she was acting very weird. We slept together that weekend and everything seemed fine. Then on the Monday we had another fight about her job and and she just left to her parents house. I apologized and said I wouldn’t bring it up again. The next day she came and packed up all her stuff. I was completely dumbfounded!!! Like it came out of nowhere. I asked her not to leave and promised I would change my tune. She said to little to late. I even said we can go to a marriage councilor as she previously requested but I told her we didn’t need it. Then she told me that it was a toxic abusive relationship for 9 years. Look I did say some stuff I’m not proud of but she’s also been very manipulative in her own right – bordering on sociopathic. She made me feel so guilty that for 2 days I profusely apologized- I felt so guilt and so much to blame. She went completely cold on me like 2 different ppl. I wrote her a letter confessing to my shortfalls and asked if we could still be friends. The week that followed we were on good amicable talking terms. That weekend I find out from a friend of mine that she had cheated on me when she went for this business trip and told everyone there that the relationship was over. Then proceeded to tell me how much she loved me and felt so safe when she got home. When I phoned her to confront her about it she first denied them said it was just flirting then later owned up – but then she said the relationship was over in her mind!! How is that ok!? She made me feel like I was this terrible person our whole relationship!! Got into a shouting match with her and told her she’s lost the best things she’s ever had among a few more things. She started crying and put the phone down on me and then blocked me on all forms of social media and WhatsApp. The next day she unblocked me on WhatsApp so I blocked her. Haven’t spoken to her since. NC … Did I ruin myself badly in terms of the power dynamics Zan?
Hi James.
You made some mistakes. The problem is that your ex had developed a negative opinion of you and that even if you did everything right after the breakup, it wouldn’t be enough to change her feelings for you. She’d made up her mind, so let her go. It seems that she feels victimized and wants different things from you. Let her and focus on yourself. Also, don’t talk to her unless you need to. You don’t have any kids, so you can just leave her alone.
Best regards,
Zan
It’s been two weeks since the girl of my dreams broke it off with me. Neither of us were looking for a relationship when we met, we just ended up falling into hanging out more and more then discovered we were the perfect match on love language. We love the same activities and she inspires me to be a better person. We vibe well together and immediately when we met. We told each other we were lucky to have met. However in this relationship I am anxious and she is avoidant. This caused some improper communication after we had our relationship and boundaries talk which allowed us to start dating and be on the same page. It was going perfectly and on the way to a long and loving relationship started from a genuine and budding friendship. After a few weeks of hanging out way too much she broke it off with me. I got needy from being confused by our miscommunication. She got pressured and turned off. Etc. I know I messed up but recently I’ve learned a lot about why exactly the things I said to her, that seemingly were harmless to me, pushed her away. I have reached a new level of understanding about how I messed up and why with avoidant types like her our interpretations of things said can be very different if I am not careful. I admitted my neediness and insecurity during the breakup talk. She said she likes me as a friend and that we would still hang out. She wished a happy 4th of July the next day over text. The following Thursday I asked her if she was still coming with me bio-luminescent kayaking that we had planned for months that Friday. “Im going to have to pass.” I said okay. “Where is it going to be?”…”nvm” I sent the location anyway and left it there. Saturday I told her I was going with my Aunt as it was my last chance and the offer was still open if she changed her mind. She said no thanks. I have not spoken to her since then but she has deleted me off social media. I feel like she is hurt that I do not see my mis steps. I want to go into no contact for as long as required but I want to start it with her knowing that I DO recognize some specific things messed up on and to apologize maturely for those, and that I understand now more than ever why it happened and I’m working on myself and wish her well. It just doesn’t feel right. Something is off.
Hi Steve.
Forget about showing your ex that you understand her and when you went wrong. She’s no receptive to you and these kinds of speeches, so just let her be. Let her figure out that she has attachment issues and that she needs to invest in herself before she can have a long-lasting relationship.
Yes, you may have been too needy, but if she had done the work on herself, this wouldn’t have been an issue. It was an issue only because she misperceived you, felt trapped, and fell out of love.
Best regards,
Zan
This is kind of horrible right? I wanted my ex to apologize to me so bad, instead I heard nothing from him for months until it was too late.
Hey, was about to apologize to my ex but then I guess I better save my self the embarrassment 😂😂🤗
My ex and I split back in november. She initiated and I hadn’t heard from her for weeks. There was a lot of things she did wrong. She was verbally abusive, lied about things, and had an addiction that I admittedly didnt do the best to fix(alcohol. I enjoy mine too, just not as much)Turns out she got in trouble and was locked up. I wanted to stay with her and support her but all of our family and friends just told me to let her go. I was going to tough it out, but I just never got any apologies really for all the things she put me through financially and emotionally. Once she started ignoring me while she was locked up, I started seeing someone else. It wasnt planned. It was just a friendship that turned into more. When she got out she was mad and sad, and I understand that. I eventually apologized for a few reasons. I felt bad because I wasnt there for her, even though she was bad to me, and eventually was ignoring me while she was locked up. Also because I was with someone. I felt like I was pressured from all sides to move on, and my ex wasnt doing anything to make me feel I should stay. The problem is I miss my ex like crazy. Even though I feel like I shouldnt. And by the end of the apology she just said I was toxic. Lesson learned. I thought I was being the bigger person, apologizing even though I felt she was more in the wrong. But it didnt make me feel better and it didnt get her back. Just hurt me more and made her more sure I’m the problem.
Hi Trevor.
A lot of people react poorly to apologies. They see it as an opportunity to batter a person to the ground.
That’s why I hope you’ve found a person who will treat you better.
Best regards,
Zan
I sent my ex a heartfelt apology letter and lots of apology message to her messenger account. Should I delete them? If I do she might notice that I deleted them and she might think I’m still affected by the breakup. It’s been almost a year since we broke up.
Hi Rico.
I suggest you leave them be. What’s done is done.
Best,
Zan
Apologizing doesn’t make you look weak if you’re ACTUALLY apologizing. If you’re genuinely just asking for forgiveness with no intention of ever hearing from them again, then there is no way you can look weak. You already look weak because you’re the ex. Your ex is no longer interested in you because you ALREADY DISPLAYED WEAK BEHAVIOR.
Apologizing and letting that sit with them and let them think about it for a months or years, maybe you will improve your chances of hearing from them some long time in the future. Time eventually will turn everything rose-colored.
However, constantly pestering your ex and whining to them every time you have one too many glasses of wine IS weak and you should stop that immediately.
He apologized to me and IT was the most profound and healing thing he ever did
Hey I had gone no contact for a mont after begging a day or two after the breakup, and then I told him happy thanksgiving to which he apologized for being rude to me our last convo. After that I felt shitty for reaching out because it made me disappointed and I was listening to dumb pages like brad browning and shot that you 30-45 days no contact. Well I made the dumb mistake of asking him if he was willing to try again twice after thanks giving (within 6 days). I was being nice at first but after a few days of being in contact with him I had a moment of weakness and even friend in front of him which made him cry and I got angry too it was just dumb. He was crying and saying he loves me but he just doesn’t want to be with me and doesn’t care if I date other people or not as long as I’m happy or whatever and he said he doesn’t have a problem without talking to me again. I know he doesn’t want to be with me but given the negative things he said I’m guessing this is because he is angry and things are still so fresh after the breakup so I’m trying not to take worlds like “forever” to heart. I don’t know what these pages really say 30 days is enough to w because he was acting like the same guy who was ignoring me towards the end of our relationship and who would avoid any conflict at all costs. Like 30 days wasn’t enough for him to change his mind and was definitely not enough for me to grow fully and not be needy around him. Talking to him and interrupting my no contact made me feel even more shifty and even though I apologized for acting angry on the phone with him and asking for him back, for some dumb reason I have the urge to call him and tell him I’m sorry again for telling jk that. But I don’t know why I feel the need to apologize to someone I sacrificed so much for in the last 2 1/2 years of our long distance relationship. We are each other’s first live so you can imagine how neither of us know how to handle this. In all honesty I’m 2 years older than him and I’m graduating college and he still has some years to go, so his maturity level is less than mine. He’s not a flirty type or anything so I’m not worried about him moving on fast, but it hurts that I put in so much effort and it wasn’t reciprocated towards the end like he just gave up because it got too hard. I guess our relationship started to get to toxic towards the end. First I had mental issues which caused me to lash out on him for a few months than it reversed to him spending most of his time online on a an app called periscope where we meant each other. This was like a app “girlfriend” because Instead of talking to me he would often ignore me and go on the app to y’all to his new online friends, mostly guys but still. He never made time for me. I really don’t know why I’m so upset when he thought being on a stupid app was more important than me at one point. I guess it’s because we were once so in love and we always had the best town with each other in person and on FaceTime. Anyways 30 says is shit. Seems like life has to throw some shit his way the next months for him to realize how much I have done for him and cared about him. I also think he has depression even though he wasn’t admit it and he uses his app as an escape. I’ve always wanted to be a counselor so I guess I was trying to fix him. But I realize I can’t help anyone who doesn’t want to be helped and I can’t be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me. Even though he said he still loves me, he didn’t know how to love I guess. So anyways no more apologizing right because it will just make the situation worse and a month was definitely not enough time. I’m going bAck into no contact, but indefinitely unless he contacts me first. It’s sucks not knowing if he will ever reach out or not but either way I know he will regret his decision one day because no one ever forgets their first love ( even lost virginity to each other). I guess I always wanted to be with my first love because that how my parents are (my sad broke up with my mom at one point and she got a new bc in between and 3 months later my dad vans crawling back) so it seems she implemented this rule at some point too. Only difference is she didn’t make the mistakes I did, but I hope i didn’t cause too much damage given I was making mistakes for long periods of time, only a few mistakes and it’s afterward the breakup so I guess it’s more understandable? I really want to get to a point where I don’t Care if he calls or not, but rn it’s so fresh so I will allow myself to hurt for a little bit. But boy do I regret reaching out and no matter how bad I feel I won’t apologize because I already did. Sorry for the long lost lol just need advice on how to keep pushing indefinitely even though I could fix everything (but a relationship takes two people so I can’t do that)
I was 38 days no contact before thanksgiving btw. He was positive when I was talking to him afterwards but still tense.
Month* cried in front of him*
There are so many spelling errors I’m sorry. I meant my dad broke up with my mom and she got a new boyfriend and he came crawling back 3 months later because she really moved on and that’s where I want to be
Hmm, I did apologize a lot at first but never begged her to take me back. I still feel regret.
She lived with me for three months past the breakup because her condo completion date kept getting pushed. I didn’t apologize the last two months. So not sure how that plays out. She did thank me on the last day for handling the breakup maturely. So what my breakup “score” is who knows.
Anyway, 8 weeks no contact and I’ve been a ghost. So hopefully a lot of my mistakes are getting erased by my absence.
Hi Trevor.
You probably didn’t do too much harm. As long as you’ve left you ex alone, you’ve maximized your chances.
That’s why you probably get an 8 or a 9 from me. 😁
Kind regards,
Zan