How long you should give your ex to move out is a complex question. The answer depends on many factors, such as who broke up with whom, who owns/rents the place, what the nature of the breakup is, and whether your ex has anyone to stay with or can find a new place quickly.
If you’re both on the lease and neither of you can afford a new place yet, it may be best to stay together until the lease expires. That is, if you broke up amicably and have no hard feelings. If someone cheated or did something equally hurtful, staying under the same roof will be extremely difficult. For your sake, it’s better to consider moving out as soon as possible. Reach out to friends, family, or trusted people in your life for support while you figure out your next steps.
They may offer to let you stay at their place for a while.
Some countries require a 30-day notice period. Make sure to comply with the law and give your ex a reasonable amount of time to leave. Don’t pressure your ex to leave, especially if you broke up with your ex and hurt his or her feelings. If you ignore your ex’s feelings after rejection, your ex could choose to fight back and make the breakup a nightmare for both of you.
He or she could intentionally delay moving out or try to pressure you into moving out instead.
In my opinion, if neither the dumpee nor the dumper pays the mortgage or owns the place, the dumper should be the one to move out. The dumper ended the relationship on his/her own terms and should make things easier for the dumpee by finding a new place to stay. This isn’t about doing the dumpee a favor. It’s about taking accountability for falling out of love and deciding to quit.
If the dumper hadn’t lost feelings, the dumpee would have gladly stayed in the relationship and the same home. That means the dumpee shouldn’t have to relocate because of a decision the dumper made. The dumpee has enough on his or her plate already and must spend his or her energy and time processing the breakup rather than worrying about moving out.
Of course, there are exceptions such as ugly breakups and monkey-branching situations. But generally speaking, it’s the dumper’s responsibility to move out and find a new place to stay. The dumper shouldn’t have a problem with it because physical distance allows him or her to be free, relieved, and guilt-free.
The sooner the dumper gets space, the sooner he or she can be independent and happy.
Every situation is unique, so there’s no one-size-fits-all formula. If you moved abroad and rented a place, the situation obviously requires a lot of understanding and compromise. It’s unrealistic that either of you can just pack up and move out the next day.
Maybe you can if you have friends you’re super close to. But if you don’t, you’ll need to be considerate of each other and find a way to cohabitate until you get a chance to move out. You’ll need to cooperate at times while also giving each other the space needed to heal and move forward.
It won’t be easy to stay so physically close after the breakup. The dumpee will continuously crave explanations and affection, whereas the dumper will feel smothered, disrespected, and angry.
In simple words, you’ll make each other think unhealthy thoughts and feel unhealthy emotions. The longer your behavior or presence triggers unwanted reminders, thoughts, and feelings, the longer you’ll delay your healing.
So if you’re wondering how long you should give your ex to move out, you should give as long as needed. If your ex needs a week to find a new place, give your ex a week. But if your ex needs longer than that, give your ex more time.
Say you understand that it’s not easy to find a new home and that you’re willing to wait for him or her to be able to move out. This should help your ex feel respected as an ex-partner and a person, and encourage your ex to keep looking for new places.
You should be patient and avoid pressuring your ex to leave. Pressure your ex only if your ex refuses to move out due to denial, false hope, a desire for revenge, or a sense of entitlement.
In such cases, you can tell your ex that you both need space and that he or she must find a new place to stay by a certain date. You can give your ex two weeks to move or give your ex an eviction notice.
You want to avoid going down this path if possible, as people don’t react well to confrontation and pressure. They interpret them as threats, suffer a blow to their egos, and feel the urge to stand up for themselves.
They think they’re being taken advantage of and that they should retaliate and fight for what they deserve and believe in.
Regardless of why you broke up, it’s important to remember that shared accommodations are for couples who love each other. They’re not for ex-couples with opposing views, feelings, and expectations.
When someone loses feelings and has no intention to regain them, the ex-couple must part ways (preferably amicably) and give each other space to heal. They can heal the fastest when they avoid seeing each other and being forced to interact.
If they can’t move out right away, they must separate their lives as much as possible. They must sleep in different beds, rooms, or places, prepare their own meals, and avoid talking unless it’s absolutely needed.
By creating some space, they can start to disconnect emotionally, regain their identities, and see their purpose outside of the relationship.
In this post, we discuss how long you should give your ex to move out under different circumstances.
How long should I give my ex to move out if I was the one who left?
If you left your ex, you should remember that the breakup most likely shocked your ex, destroyed your ex’s self-love, and disoriented him or her. It made your ex engage in self-blame and forced your ex to start accepting a breakup he or she didn’t want.
Because your ex, up until the breakup, envisioned a life with you, your ex will have a hard time letting go of that vision and creating goals unrelated to you. It won’t be impossible, but your ex will need time to detach, perceive you differently, and see that life goes on without you.
If you get angry with your ex and dismiss your ex’s questions and feelings, your ex will take the breakup personally and need even longer to recover.
Your ex will probably resent you for being mean, selfish, uncaring, and unwilling to give closure. And when your ex resents you, chances are you will fight unhealthily or see each other in court.
That’s why it’s best for both parties to communicate patiently and empathetically when the topic of conversation is about closure, kids, finances, and moving out. Talk like adults who failed romantically, but can still part on a positive and respectful note.
You don’t need to be friends, but you can be respectful even if you no longer benefit from each other.
So how long should you give your ex to move out if you left your ex and managed to keep things respectful? Give your ex at least two weeks. You may be exes, but you’re not enemies. If your ex is a responsible and emotionally strong person, your ex will respect your decision and immediately begin looking for a place to stay.
Your ex will likely move out before the deadline.
Speaking about deadlines, they often don’t work well for dumpees. Most of the time, they add unnecessary pressure and make an already difficult situation feel even more overwhelming.
Instead of imposing strict deadlines, it’s better to approach the situation with patience and understanding. Raw emotions make that hard to do, but your conscience will appreciate it once your ex has moved out/on.
What if your ex cheated, lied to you about important things, or used you?
That changes things a lot. Your ex may not have a place to stay, but your ex disrespected you and risked losing you anyway. It says a lot about your ex’s self-awareness, gratitude, maturity, and preparedness for a serious long-term relationship.
If your ex treated you badly, such as stealing from you or dating someone else behind your back despite not having a place to stay, you’ll be more than generous if you give your ex a few days to find a new place.
This is especially true if your ex denies any wrongdoing, blames you for everything, and takes no accountability whatsoever. When an ex makes you look like the problem and shows no consideration for your feelings, commitment, and place to stay, you can kick your ex out very quickly, if not right away.
You can morally justify your decision by remembering that your ex doesn’t care about you or the material things you provided to him or her throughout the relationship. Some victims of abuse and cheatees (those who get cheated on) throw their ex out, including his or her stuff right away.
They don’t care where their ex goes and how he or she feels.
Things get a bit more complicated when the ex owns or co-owns furniture, electronics, and items that are too big to carry out on the same day. In such cases, the person responsible for the breakup should take the initiative to hire movers and handle the logistics.
It doesn’t have to be done on the same day, but it should be scheduled and completed within a reasonable timeframe to avoid unnecessary tension or confusion.
If it were me, I’d stay with my family and give my ex a few days to take everything she owns. After that, I’d cut her out of my life and communicate about her belongings via mutual friends.
That’s assuming I trusted her. If I didn’t, I’d have a friend or family member present to oversee what she takes.
If she had friends, family, or the funds to book a hotel, I’d probably ask her to move out immediately. That’s as considerate as I’d be after she disrupted my life to benefit hers. But if I merely lost feelings due to neglect or incompatibility, then I’d let her stay until she found a new place and realized that staying under the same roof was hurting her.
What if my ex doesn’t want to move out or keeps delaying it?
If your ex keeps delaying the move-out, gently remind your ex why it’s important that he or she leaves. Start with a patient approach, but be more direct every time you bring it up. Eventually, your ex should understand that staying in the same house prevents you both from moving on.
Your ex won’t stay at your place forever. If your ex still hasn’t moved out after you’ve brought it up multiple times, consider reaching out to his or her family and friends. Your ex won’t appreciate you involving other people, but they might knock some sense into your ex and possibly even offer him/her a place to stay.
They might convince your ex that staying with you won’t bring back your feelings and change your mind.
If that doesn’t work, your last resort is to serve your ex a 30-day eviction notice, after which you can start eviction proceedings.
How long should I give my dumpee ex to move out?
If you both own or rent a place, you’re equally entitled to stay there, so one of you will have to make a compromise. It should be the person who left the relationship. In this case, it’s you. You should apologize for ending the relationship and volunteer to find a new place. It’s the least you can do for breaking your ex’s heart and turning his or her world upside down.
However, if you own the place, then give your ex a reasonable amount of time to find an affordable/convenient place. A few weeks should probably be enough. If your ex doesn’t find a place in time but is actively looking, you can extend the deadline a little. Give your ex more time to leave.
Also, if one person invested significantly more money and time into the home, the other should offer compensation. This could be financial or in the form of letting him or her keep certain belongings or stay longer during the transition.
Whoever decides to move out should keep the other person updated on his or her progress in finding a new place. It’s important to have a moving-out plan/dialogue to avoid wasting time and causing resentment.
As you can see, every situation is different and requires at least some patience and understanding. Try putting yourself in your ex’s shoes and asking yourself what you’d do if the roles were reversed.
You might realize that a different approach is more suitable than the one that initially came to mind.
So as badly as you want your ex to move out, remember that your ex is a person too, and that he or she might need some time to find a new place to stay. How much time is anyone’s guess. But a few weeks should probably suffice.
Should I help my ex move out?
You can help your ex move out if you’re on good terms and neither of you feels bitter or overwhelmed around each other. You don’t need to go out of your way to assist with everything, but do offer to move a few (big) things if you’re free.
Your ex will appreciate your help and think more positively about you.
If you owe your ex money and have kids with your ex, this is the time to repay your debts and discuss future payments and obligations. Make plans for how you intend to do your part and put those agreements in writing.
It will prevent misunderstandings when your ex moves out and needs your cooperation.
All in all, you can help your ex with moving out, including money. Just make sure to mention whether your help comes with any expectations. You don’t want to argue about it months later.
I hope we answered how long you should give your ex to move out. If we did, post your thoughts below.
However, if your situation doesn’t match any of the scenarios mentioned in this article and you need guidance, consider signing up for private coaching. We’ll navigate your breakup together and create a clear plan.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
My dumper (f45) first gave me 2,5 month silent treatment and in February 2025 told me it’s over. She started to dress like 20, uses 3x as much makeup, started to smoke (which she always detested) and started to go out like crazy. So your perfect description of female dumper behavior.
The official reason for breakup was our crisis resulting from the development of our younges (6) daughter, but I strongly suspect GIGS. She badmouthed me behind my back to create the facade that I’m the guilty party.
Now, we’ve been together for 20 years and have 3 kids – 2 of them with autism, one of them additionaly with diabetes 1. So we’re still living together (rent), but she hinted that until the next year she wants to move out.
I’m still dumbfounded that a person with wich you were for 20 years and have 3 kids can change her behavior like flick of the switch. I couldn’t. I know.
So living like that is a torture – mostly for me I suppose. First because it creates some appearance of “normality” and strong hope of reconciliation. And I somehow believe that it’s not unusual for couples living together to reach that. Second because the interest in my dumper is strong indeed and one has 1000 things in mind that she does/could do and I could do.
But she seems distant like a moon and now for nearly 5 months. How could one keep such behavior is beyond my comprehension. There must be times where guilt or remorse set in – even if for short periods.