Many believe that female dumpers always come back, while others argue that once a woman makes up her mind, she moves on for good. In their mind, she sets her eyes on something or someone else and sees no reason to return. The best answer I found is that it depends on each dumper.
Some dumpers come back multiple times whereas others refuse to return even once. Instead, they continue to self-prioritize, feel victimized and relieved, and refuse to acknowledge their ex’s worth. This gives them power and control over the breakup and allows them to reach their goals.
It takes a certain kind of person to return once, let alone multiple times. The dumper must believe in second chances and be capable of reflection, regret, guilt, forgiveness, and starting anew. If she holds on to the past and blames the dumpee for everything, she fails to do the internal work required to return stolen power and reinvest emotionally.
So remember that for dumpers to come back once or many times, they must first of all have the right kind of personality traits that allow them to realize they were partially or fully responsible for the breakup and that their ex isn’t as bad as they made him out to be. When they believe that, they can reconnect intimately as soon as they get their expectations crushed and want their ex back to lean on and feel complete with.
It’s unfortunate, but many dumpers either aren’t capable of reflection and growth or don’t encounter a problem big enough to change their thinking. They have decent coping mechanisms and support systems that encourage them to push forward and avoid looking back.
All in all, female dumpers always come back only when they have reflective traits and lack the tools to cope with problems, pain, fear, anxiety, depression, and other difficult emotions. They come back not just because their ex is a decent person and the relationship was good but because they couldn’t make it on their own or with someone else.
Like it or not, reconciliations are dumpers’ backup plans. Dumpers go back to an ex but only when they’re unhappy and see no way to move forward in life. That’s when they contact an ex from the past and express their love and expectations.
Some dumpers do this once while others keep torturing their ex with false hope and promises. They think they love their ex when, in reality, they just struggle to love themselves. They use their ex to feel better or avoid feeling a certain way. Every time they rely on their ex for their personal problems, they make it easier to leave when they encounter a problem they associate with their ex.
Hence, it’s important not to keep getting back with exes. If the relationship doesn’t work on the first or second try, it probably won’t work on the third or fourth either. People tend to take the relationship for granted when they believe they can get back together anytime. Usually, they feel tempted to run away from problems and hold their ex accountable for them.
It’s not a good thing if your female dumper always comes back. Her lack of decisiveness shows that she has a quitting mentality and knows you’ll always take her back. This kind of thinking lowers her need to do her best and impress you. You don’t want such a dumper back. If she returns, she’ll soon find something that bothers her and leave when it’s time to communicate and compromise.
She’ll prove that she’s come back for herself rather than the relationship as a whole.
So do female dumpers always come back? They don’t. And neither do males. Dumpers come back only when they overestimate themselves, underestimate their ex, and realize their and their ex’s true worth. That enables them to redevelop feelings and want their ex back in their life.
They typically need to undergo something difficult to fall back in love. Something like a romantic rejection, breakup, fallout with friends or family, or loss of job. When they feel hurt and sorry for themselves, they’re more susceptible to nostalgia and making things right with their ex. Pain is dumpers’ biggest motivator.
It can quickly bring back dumpers’ lost respect and feelings and urge them to reconnect before their ex moves on and loses interest.
The interesting thing about reconciliations is that usually, nothing happens until it does. Most dumpers feel fine and keep their distance until they get in trouble and want their ex to patch their wounds. That’s when they make the necessary changes and want their ex close to them.
Dumpees expect their exes to come back to them slowly, but that seldom happens. When it does, they still love their ex but struggle to fully trust and let go of the past. It’s much more likely that your ex will come back quickly without communication, friendship, and wasted time.
In this post, we discuss whether female dumpers always come back and what you can do to improve your chances.
Do female dumpers always come back?
Female dumpers don’t always come back because they don’t always have a reason to come back. Oftentimes, they’re fine on their own and feel no desire or sense of urgency to reconnect. It’d be unreasonable to expect your ex to come back just because you got along for the most part and had a long-lasting relationship.
Dumpers tend not to care much about the quality of the relationship in the past. They care more about their quality of life in the present. If they’re not happy, they think about ways to become happy. This may lead them back to their ex – to times when life seemed easier.
You must remember that dumpers mustn’t be forced to come back. If they feel that the dumpee is deciding for them, they feel unheard, disrespected, and annoyed. So much so that they ignore or block their ex out of their life. It must always be the dumper’s idea to reconcile. The dumper must realize she stopped valuing the dumpee and chased the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
When the dumper understands this, she can willingly put in the effort and fear being rejected. A fear of rejection is necessary for the dumper to respect the dumpee, want him back, and invest in him.
So if you want to know if female dumpers come back, remember that it happens when personality and circumstances allow them to. When they get in trouble and understand their mistakes, they mature and run back to their ex for comfort and safety. Don’t expect them to return for no reason. There is no such thing as a reasonless reconciliation.
Your ex left you for a reason and must come back for one too.
If your ex doesn’t find a reason to return, she’ll make the breakup about herself, keep her distance, and perhaps even send breadcrumbs. Your job is to keep your hopes low until your ex contacts you, expresses pain and regret, and gives you something to work with. Don’t convince yourself that she wants you back before you hear it directly from her.
Female dumpers always or almost always come back when they fail to learn their breakup lessons, repeat their mistakes, and feel hurt. Mistakes and pain remind them that they won’t be happy until they work on themselves and resolve their issues. If they don’t like the idea of investing in themselves for a while, they may opt to skip their self-improvement phase by taking their ex back.
This is because their ex can instantly help them forget their troubles and make them feel loved.
Dumpers who despise self-work and feel scared of being alone go back to exes more often than those who feel comfortable on their own and willing to grow. They lack independence and tend to cling to people for guidance and support.
Likewise, dumpers with lots of issues and stress also come back. They’re tired of feeling hurt and depressed, so they consider going back to an ex who can take their pain away. The reasons for breaking up don’t matter when they’re dissatisfied with their lives and want to feel better.
When dumpers are in pain, they often doubt their decisions and behaviors. This makes them engage in reflection and see their ex’s good traits. If they’re hurt and miss their ex enough, they may come back when they convince themselves they’ve made a huge mistake.
So keep in mind that female dumpers always come back when they fail to find happiness without their ex. Unhappiness compels them to think about their ex and be with him. The more they need their ex, the quicker they learn their lessons and come running back.
Having said that, here’s when female dumpers come back.
When do female dumpers not come back?
Female dumpers usually don’t return when the relationship was abusive. If they have decent self-esteem, they understand that getting back with their ex would bring back old issues, trigger another breakup, and hurt them again. That’s why they tend not to go back to their ex when they know there’s a risk of getting stuck in an unhealthy situation.
The same goes for dumpers who were cheated on. They feel super betrayed and don’t want to open their heart to their ex. They can’t trust their ex with their happiness and safety anymore, so they think negatively of their ex and make themselves feel victimized.
By doing so, they justify their behavior and stay in control.
Women dumpers don’t come back when certain factors solidify their decisions to leave. This includes pre-breakup factors such as cheating and post-breakup factors like extreme begging and pleading. When dumpees present themselves as mean, desperate, cold, or unattractive individuals, dumpers laser focus on that side of their ex for months or years to come.
They have a hard time letting go of negative perceptions because dumpees make them feel uncomfortable, angry, guilty, or other unwanted emotions.
If they’re happy without their ex, they tend to stay far away from their ex. Happiness reminds them that leaving their ex liberated them and allowed them to reach new heights. They don’t come back because they don’t reflect and learn any important lessons. Only unhappy dumpers do that.
Happy ones continue to play the blame game, stay busy, and socialize with others. Reconciliation becomes possible when they’re out of options and consider their ex the option rather than an option.
Lastly, female dumpers don’t come back when they don’t believe in second chances. When they’re convinced the relationship deserves only one chance, they give up on it and move on for good. Nothing their ex says or does can change how they perceive relationships and their ex.
If you want your female ex to come back, you must respect her decision to leave and give her all the space she needs. Do that even if you’re anxious and scared she’ll find someone else. Many dumpers come back because of someone else. They compare the new person’s failures to their ex’s successes and realize they let go of someone good.
Regardless of what your ex needs to return, you must let your ex come to you. That’s the only way your ex will be able to redevelop respect and love.
Do you think female dumpers always come back? What do you think makes them come back the most? Share your views in the comments below.
And if you want to confide in us about your ex, reach out to us directly via our coaching page.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
