Dumpees often have struggling days when they feel absolutely devastated and miss their ex more than ever.
I can sit here and tell you that time will heal all wounds or I can give you actual tips you should apply immediately after the breakup.
You likely feel inclined to “do something” to get your ex back to feel better right now, so here we go.
Here are 10 encouraging post-breakup tips to help you get over your breakup and maximize your chances with your ex.
1)Out of sight, out of mind
The best way to deal with a breakup is to completely remove your attention from your ex and make yourself a priority.
Instead of worrying about what your ex is thinking and doing, worry completely about yourself.
There is truly no better way to recover from post-breakup blues than to become selfish and genuinely interested in yourself.
To make sure you don’t get any reminders of your ex:
- unfollow your ex on social media
- put away harmful gifts
- tell your friends to keep you in the dark about your ex
2)Let the dead past bury its dead
Let go of your ex by leaving your past relationship in the past. Walk away from that which no longer serves you so that you can begin healing properly.
If you don’t do this, yesterday will continue being today’s problem and you will stay heart-broken for a long time.
When you earnestly hope and hold on to the past, you prolongate the time it takes for you to recover. Moreover, you deplete the essence of your soul and extract life from yourself.
Your happiness is in your hands. So don’t place it in your ex’s hands for him or her to play with!
3)In the middle of difficulty, lies opportunity
Your breakup happened for a reason, but that doesn’t mean everything has to stay the same. Believe it or not, but this is actually a golden opportunity for you to evolve into an even better person.
Instead of wallowing in despair, improve your:
- social circle
- body
- finances
- relationship skills
- education, knowledge
Don’t waste a second of your time and use your breakup to your advantage.
You will be surprised how quickly you learn and improve when you absolutely need to.
4)Getting busy is the best breakup medicine
This effective, yet neglected remedy cures the breakup better than anything else.
The power of distractions is so effective because the brain can’t think of more than one thing at the same time.
So when you’re out there enjoying yourself, you’re giving your overanalyzing brain a chance to recover.
Do what you truly love and you won’t have the time to think about your ex.
You will instead be thinking about yourself, your friends and your family—the people that deserve your attention.
5)Move your body to satisfy your mind
Getting enough physical exercise is not only good for your muscles but also for your lungs, heart and most importantly—the brain.
When you exercise or increase your heart rate enough, you release happy hormones—endorphins into your brains and force yourself to feel better.
Exercising is not useful just for getting rid of a few layers of fat, but also for burning stress.
I know it can be difficult to get out of bed when all you want to do is stay at home, eat ice cream and binge-watch Netflix all day long.
But if you push yourself to perspire for a little while, I promise you that the aftereffects are going to feel blissful.
6)Your ex’s business is not your business
How your ex acts or reacts is not your problem. Whatever he does or who she dates is also not your concern.
When you split from your partner, you divided just about everything there is to divide.
This includes:
- family matters
- health issues
- common interests
- behavior
Whether you’re the dumpee or the dumper, you likely have plenty of issues of your own to be concerned about.
That’s why I strongly doubt that you could use your ex’s too.
7)Control what is in your power to control
Your ex’s thoughts and feelings toward you may not be within your power to control.
You can, however, control your life—your thoughts, emotions and actions.
You may be thinking, “How is controlling my life going to bring my ex back?”
If you are, you’re absolutely right. It will not necessarily get you your ex back, but it will make sure your chances of reconciliation are the highest they can be.
Also, it will set you on the path you wish to be on—whether you get back together or not.
A person that is in control of his or her life is an attractive individual. Any ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend would be foolish to let go of such a stable, happy person.
8)Self-respect = respect from others
Turning inwardly after the breakup is essential and one of the best post-breakup tips anyone can give you.
The reason why it’s so valuable is that a person who takes care of himself or herself is a person worthy of respect.
Respecting yourself makes people respect you in return. It’s unfortunate that life almost seems to favor those who stand up for themselves and depict high confidence.
Contrarily, self-pity and low self-esteem usually produce the opposite results.
Low self-esteem is an antonym of confidence and therefore manifests the results you fear the most.
9)Don’t control or manipulate. Influence instead!
If you’re eager to impress your ex and show him or her the best version of yourself, you need to hold your horses.
Firstly, your ex is not in a receptive state of mind to take in everything you have to offer to him/her. Your ex doesn’t care if you’ve improved or not.
Secondly, don’t tell your ex that you’re different and improved. Influence your ex indirectly with consistency and actual self-improvement.
And lastly, give influencing time. Rushing is going to reveal your impatience and neediness—which is the opposite of what you’re trying to portray.
If there’s no way for your ex to see your personal improvements because of long-distance dynamics or something similar, you will just have to wait for your ex to contact you.
And remember, no contact is also a part of the influencing idea.
10)To give is to receive
Doing positive deeds for others is going to help you in return.
The happiest people aren’t the ones who take more, but the ones who give more.
This has been proven many times in numerous studies.
Sign up for volunteering. You can help around in animal shelters, art museums or your local libraries. Possibilities are nearly endless with all the ways you can contribute to a greater good.
Don’t underestimate this simple post-breakup tip. You will be surprised how satisfying helping those in need can feel.
Are you following these post-breakup tips? Do you have any to add to the list? Comment below.
