What Is The Battered Woman Syndrome?

According to an academic journal of violence against women published by the University of Kentucky in 1995, about 30% of women worldwide experience intimate abuse at least once in their lives.

They suffer physical, emotional, psychological, cultural. financial, or sexual abuse—and tend to hide it. At least for a little while because they’re afraid of:

• the consequences of their actions (bringing a bad reaction out of their partner)
• judgment (what friends and family will think)
• losing what they currently have (shelter, food, clothes, financial security, children, their relationship, and current lifestyle)

The fear of starting over at a certain age on their own (or with their children) tends to be overwhelming for abused women because their male counterparts completely destroy their self-esteem and their confidence in their abilities.

They instill into their minds that they’re unworthy of love and incapable of surviving without a powerful figure in their lives (them). Thinking that they’re left with no choice but to persevere, abused women, as a result, grit their teeth and carry on despite the continuous barrage of abuse.

They say that “it’s not that bad” and sometimes even convince themselves that there is no love without suffering. Oftentimes, they also defend their abusive men to those who are concerned about their safety and well-being by saying that men beat them or emotionally abuse them because they love them.

Such women are confused, uneducated about relationships, or brainwashed—and endure pain either for themselves, their children, or for families’ sakes.

The sad thing is that many intimidating men don’t even understand how their behavior affects women. They don’t see (or care) that they’re gaslighting and brainwashing women and making them dependent on them for basic human needs.

They’re too power-hungry, self-centered, and too unempathic to put themselves in their partner’s shoes.

And there’s a reason they’re like that. That reason is that abusive men lack control of their lives. They feel insecure, so they hope to feel secure by taking control away from their partners and forcing them to tend to their needs.

One of the most common (and worst) things controlling men do is that they manipulate their girlfriends or wives into staying home with their children.

They do this by making them think that it’s best for the family, and by doing so, prevent their women from talking to other people and gaining experience in their field of study.

To abusers who are hungry for power and control, there’s nothing worse than seeing their partner grow as a person and be happy outside of the household. That would make their women less reliant on them and a lot more independent.

It would give them power and significance which would consequently make insecure men feel threatened.

You see, controlling or abusive men are also afraid of many things. They’re especially afraid of losing control of their lives. But the difference between their fear and their abused partner’s fear is that they dominate their partner and take control by force instead of gaining it with kindness and self-awareness.

Out of respect for abused women and to raise awareness of domestic abuse, The United Nations General Assembly has designated November 25th as the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women.

This article wishes to do just that. Thank you for reading.

What is the battered woman syndrome?

A battered woman syndrome, often known as the battered wife syndrome is a type of stress disorder battered women develop as a result of long-term domestic abuse.

It’s a feeling of extreme fear, guilt, shame, worthlessness, and helplessness, which makes it extremely difficult for battered women to walk away from their abusers.

There are many reasons why battered women don’t walk away from their abusers, but the most common reason seems to be that abusers isolate them from their friends and family and threaten to hurt them or their children.

They tell them that they’ll find them and do something that will ruin their lives.

Abusers basically trap women with fear and manipulation because that’s the only way they can keep their battered women. And they don’t just keep them. They get the most out of them as they turn them into modern slaves – into people who serve and obey.

Due to physical threats and continuous abuse, battered women feel that they can’t move forward, nor backward with their lives. The only path they see is the path they are currently on.

If they feel hopeless and continue to stay on the same path that leads nowhere, they sometimes even fall into depression. They lose the will to resist and as a result, contemplate committing suicide.

However, if they feel disrespected and possess the strength to fight, then they may even consider killing their husband.

In a case where they do end up murdering their husband, domestic abuse is usually taken into account at the trial. But claiming self-defense, provocation, or temporary insanity may not always prove successful in some countries and courts as these don’t seem to be cogent excuses battered women can rely on.

Crime is still a crime and is often severely punished unless a woman murders a man in a life or death situation.

Here are some battered women syndrome statistics you might find interesting.

What does a battered wife mean?

A battered wife means that a woman has experienced physical, emotional, or sexual abuse from her boyfriend, fiance, or husband not only once in her life, but that abuse is recurring on a regular basis.

Every time abuse occurs, a battered woman puts up with the abuse and continues to suffer in silence. Her confidence has been destroyed, so she doesn’t have the courage and the personal strength to separate herself from the abuser.

She’s extremely afraid of leaving her “comfort zone” and/or infuriating her partner.

This is why she prefers to stay in a toxic relationship and remains silent about her partner’s abuse and mistreatment.

Some abusers even promise their battered wives to never hit or hurt them again—and use their promises as a deception tactic. By telling their emotionally vulnerable women what they want to hear, they essentially get them to trust them again.

But unfortunately, trust usually doesn’t usually last very long because abusers almost never change. They normally stay exactly as they are because they don’t experience a lot of regret, pain, or fear of losing their partner.

On the contrary, they experience a surge of empowerment and feel no need to become kinder to their devoted partners.

The thing with abuse is that it gradually gets worse. It starts with a “harmless” joke or a remark, and over time, slowly escalates to the point where comments turn into insults and insults into abuse.

If you’re in a relationship with a man who just hit you or financially/emotionally abused you, you need to know that the guy likely won’t change very much if any at all. He feels empowered by his actions, so unless he truly regrets his behavior and makes a concrete plan to give his power back to you, he’ll likely hurt you again when he loses control of his emotions.

“Band-aids don’t fix bullet holes. You say sorry just for show,” says Taylor Swift.

Your partner will need to do a lot better than saying sorry otherwise your emotional and psychological scars could remain open for a very long time. Maybe forever if you and your partner do nothing about them.

Let me remind you that changing as a person takes time and effort and that unless you both try to overcome your problems and leave the past behind, your partner will continue to abuse you and cause you to be afraid of him.

The cycle of violence in the battered woman syndrome

According to Leonore Walker, a psychologist who founded the Domestic Violence Institute and wrote The Battered Woman, the cycles of violence in battered woman syndrome consist of 4 stages.

1. The tension-building stage: In this relationship stage, stress affects both parties. The couple may stop communicating and start ignoring each other, but due to unhealthy perceptions and bad attitudes, the person with a stronger personality is more likely to get upset, annoyed, and feel wronged or threatened. When that happens, the person with the most control in the relationship will start to take power by force and refuse to behave like an equal.
2. Incident abuse stage: This is the stage where things get out of control. Due to the tension created between a couple, the abuser loses emotional self-control and lashes out in anger. He screams, yells, throws objects, punches things, and/or hits his partner. The abuser makes sure to convey to the abused that she’s wrong and that he’s right. He feels empowered.
3. Reconciliation stage: In this stage, the abuser realizes that he went too far and sincerely apologizes to the victim. He begs for forgiveness and promises to never hurt the victim again. To win the victim’s trust back, he could even buy her gifts or do something she loves to prove his point.
4. Calm stage: In this final stage, the anger from the abuser completely subsides but he still feels guilty. That’s why he does his best to refrain from losing emotional control. He doesn’t work on himself enough to change, of course, but he does become aware of his behavior and makes sure not to abuse his partner before she’s forgiven him.

When the violence in a battered woman syndrome gets to the last stage, it’s only a matter of time before the couple encounters difficulties and starts to disagree and argue again. That’s when the abuser stops hiding his true characteristics and restarts the cycle of violence.

Stages of a battered woman syndrome

Before a woman seeks help and saves herself, her children, family, or friends from the abuse of her partner, she’ll typically go through 4 stages of abuse.

1. Denial: A battered woman convinces herself that the abuse was a one-time thing and that her partner will change on his own or with her help (this is because abused women often think of themselves as saviors).
2. Suffering: After a while, she realizes that her partner is not changing and that she is suffering a lot. This is when she starts feeling trapped in an unfulfilling relationship and often becomes miserable and depressed.
3. Realization: Many women who develop the battered wife syndrome never come to this stage because they never realize that they’re innocent and that their partner is responsible for their lack of kindness and self-control.
4. Escape: If a battered woman understands that she deserves better, she secretly looks for help. She intelligently understands that her partner has full control over her life and that she needs to leave him to regain happiness and independence.

It can take a woman with a battered wife syndrome years before she finally seeks help.

And that’s because her partner can be so good at manipulating her ways of thinking and feeling that she would keep running back to him for recognition for many years.

As for the women who can’t break free from their partner’s abuse, they usually require someone outside of the relationship to help them. It can be a friend, a neighbor, or a complete stranger. It doesn’t matter who it is as long as he or she encourages them to escape the toxic relationship.

Symptoms of a battered woman

There are many ways to spot a woman who has been emotionally, physically, sexually, or financially abused.

The most common sign to look out for is social isolation. If a woman is staying away from her friends and family and is staying at home most of the time, something is very alarming. She’s either severely unhappy or depressed or is being controlled and abused by her partner.

Some of the typical signs of social seclusion are:

• refusing to chat, talk, and meetup (especially it involves people who threaten her partner)
• dropping out of school
• not showing up for work
• showing no interest in hobbies and ambitions
• sudden removal of social media accounts
• a change in personality and looks
• being restricted from going places and doing things

Another symptom of a battered woman is bruises or injuries that a woman tries to cover up or can’t explain. This could mean that she’s ashamed of others’ reactions.

But even if she’s ashamed, embarrassed, or scared of others finding out, a battered woman still needs to be helped.

She may not like it and appreciate it at first, but after a while, she’ll notice how much happier and in control of her life she is.

How to help a woman with the battered woman syndrome?

If you think that someone has developed a battered woman syndrome, it’s crucial that you get help as quickly as possible.

Contact the domestic abuse hotline or better yet, encourage the victim to do so herself. They will advise her on how to get to safety and stay away from her abuser in case he contacts her and tries to make her feel guilty for leaving him.

If the victim has no way to contact anyone because she’s being completely isolated, however, then you (or someone else) will have to make the call for her. You can call the police and describe the situation to them.

If it’s urgent, they will dispatch police officers immediately and make sure she is rescued from the abuser right away.

Once she’s safe, your job is done but a battered woman’s work is far from over. She’ll likely be terrified (think that the abuser will return and take revenge) and will require therapy.

Depending on the emotional and psychological damage the perpetrator has caused, abuse is something that could take months or years for a battered woman to recover from.

It’s important for you to understand that she didn’t stay with an abuser because she wanted to. She had developed the battered women syndrome which prevented her from thinking clearly and running away when she had the chance.

So instead of judging her for lacking the strength, knowledge, or the ability to leave her abusive partner, be understanding of her situation and give her all the support she needs.

She could use someone to trust and confide in.

Do you know someone who went through the battered woman syndrome? How did it end for her? Leave your thoughts below.

Angelie

I’m Angelie, a writer and a designer at Magnet of Success. Whether I’m writing compelling content or designing engaging pictures, I create content that resonates with our visitors and aids them on their self-improvement journey. I enjoy writing about relationship dynamics and the difficulties couples may face.