My Ex Treats His New Girlfriend Better

Does your ex have a new girlfriend that he treats better than he treats or treated you?

If he does, don’t worry, this is completely normal. New relationships aren’t accurate representations of how things will look a year or two later. At first, couples are on their best behavior as they try to present themselves in the best way possible.

They go on tons of dates, profess their love, post their happiness on social media, and oftentimes go or appear to go through new relationship stages faster than in their previous relationship. They do this because they’re excited to be loved and eager to get the most out of each other.

They weren’t happy in their previous relationship or at the end of the relationship (hence the breakup), so they look for someone new to love and be loved by. Someone who can replace their ex and make them feel special again.

Don’t take that personally though.

Your ex may treat his new girlfriend better, but that doesn’t mean she deserves your ex’s love and you don’t. Your ex just loves the attention he’s getting and wants to impress the girl he’s with. The more he impresses her, the better she treats him, and the better the reward – the stronger love hormones his brain releases.

Therefore, your ex is merely doing what feels right and is best for him. He wants to treat his new girlfriend well because she has the ability to empower him and make him happy.

This means he currently likes her as a person and has certain expectations of her. He wouldn’t be treating her well if he thought she wasn’t worth the time and effort. He’d be single, looking for different ways and people to occupy his time with.

So if your ex treats his new girlfriend better, don’t immediately assume you weren’t worth your ex’s kindness, respect, and love. If you didn’t receive enough love when you were together, your ex probably neglected you and focused on different things.

In other words, your ex took you for granted and made it look like the new person is superhuman. Ex-partners are detached and over their ex. They don’t care much about their ex and how their ex perceives their new relationship.

They found a new person to date and feel great with, so they go through new love stages, particularly the infatuation stage.

During this stage, they feel elated and unstoppable. They can’t stop themselves from being their best selves as they still don’t know their partner. Secretly, they worry that by revealing their true personality, their partner will lose interest and leave (hurt them).

It normally takes new couples 3 – 4 months to fully accept each other and show how they act in relationships. Months into the relationship, they demonstrate how developed they are and what they’ve learned from their previous failures (breakups).

Bear in mind that your ex has nothing negative to reveal at the moment. Your ex can still control and hide his bad traits and habits. This comes naturally to your ex because your ex is still self-conscious and happy.

Happy people generally don’t look for problems. They just spread positivity and enjoy the moment. Problems arise later when they get comfortable (too comfortable). That’s when they begin to argue, experience power struggles, and unknowingly change the dynamics of the relationship.

In this post, we talk about why your ex treats his new girlfriend better than you and how you can handle the situation.

Why does my ex treat his new girlfriend better?

First of all, keep in mind that people behave differently around different people. If they feel loved and validated, they behave nicely. They try to keep things positive and worry-free for as long as they can.

And if they feel that their partner doesn’t give them enough love, attention, or respect, they bicker and/or try harder to get their partner to care about them. Care helps them stop hurting.

Typically, people feel neglected, unwanted, and disrespected when their partner shows his or her true colors (months into the relationship). That’s when they begin to experience relationship issues and express them too.

Some couples get angry and act impulsively whereas others express their wants, needs, and problems more patiently.

How they deal with problems depends on each person. But most people express them quite strongly. Especially dumpers because they blame their ex for their problems and lack of patience.

So if your ex’s relationship is new and you think that your ex treats his new girlfriend better, wait till he gets used to the benefits his new girlfriend provides him with and drops his guard.

If you still care about your ex when that happens, you’ll see that their dynamics have changed significantly and that their relationship isn’t as fairytale-like as it first seemed.

It’s got problems just like every relationship.

Personally, the relationships that worry me the most are those that seem flawless. In such relationships, someone is usually tolerating more than he or she should be and giving the other person tons of power and authority.

Too much power can make a person feel neglected and unvalued and cause him or her to fight and/or seek happiness elsewhere.

So if you wonder why your ex treats his new girlfriend better, remember it’s probably because they’re still getting to know each other. Your ex hasn’t had a chance to get stressed and pressured yet. Or if he did, he didn’t react negatively yet because your ex is still happy and able to control his impulses.

He needs more time to turn back into the person you remember.

The biggest mistake dumpees make is that they assume their ex will finally mature and be the person they wanted their ex to be. They fear that by starting a new romantic relationship, their ex will know what issues to avoid and have the emotional maturity to prevent those issues from resurfacing.

Little do they know that personal growth takes weeks or months to accomplish. Not only does it take time but it also requires a strong (emotional) incentive.

And dumpers (especially monkey-branchers don’t have the incentive to grow. They’re happy and relieved, so they do nothing to actually better themselves and be happier in their next relationship.

Yes, the dumper’s new partner is different and doesn’t have the same shortcomings as the dumpee, but if the dumper is mean, lazy, deceptive, immoral, or anything that takes months to change, the dumper remains exactly as he or she is.

Change takes more than time to change. It takes effort as well. Lots of it in fact. That’s why people don’t change easily.

Here’s why your ex treats his new girlfriend better.

I want you to know that what you see is just an illusion. Your ex may look happy and successful now that you’re gone, but that’s because your ex convinced himself you couldn’t make him happy and that the new person can make him feel better than you can.

Don’t be deceived, though. Your ex treated you well when the relationship was new as well. He probably took you out a lot, spent money and lots of time with you, told you sweet things, and made you feel special.

It’s probably been so long that you forgot all about it.

The reason you’re jealous is that your ex is building a connection with someone other than you. You want your ex to reassure you that you’re worthy of love and that everything’s going to be okay.

That’s completely understandable.

Just don’t forget that you feel rejected right now and that the things you hear from people and see on social media regarding your ex are heightened by your emotions. Emotions make you think that your ex is doing much better with his new girlfriend when in reality, you’re anxious and hoping he’ll come back to you.

You basically see things that are half true, temporarily true, or not true. I don’t know your ex and what his new relationship with his new partner is like, but if it looks like he’s on cloud nine, it’s because his relationship is fresh and exciting rather than because you were an awful partner.

It can feel tempting to think your ex’s happiness in his new relationship is somehow related to you, but that’s your self-esteem telling you that you’re not good enough.

Your ex destroyed your perception of yourself by leaving you and meeting someone else. You’ll need some time to detach and see things clearly.

The truth is that your ex is treating his new partner better than he treated you because your ex is acting on positive emotions. Positive emotions give your ex the motivation to be nice, approachable, and happy to try new things.

When those emotions wane, so too will your ex’s nice attitude.

Why did my ex change for his new girlfriend?

If it’s only been a few months and it seems that your ex has changed for his new girlfriend, know that he hasn’t. He may be doing things he didn’t do when he was with you, but that’s because he doesn’t want to say no to his new girlfriend.

He likes her, has respect for her, and wants to stay with her. That’s why he’s willing to sacrifice some of his happiness for her. New couples tend to be open to new ideas as they follow their emotions and avoid things that could hinder the progression of the relationship.

If they feel that saying no would make the other person sad or disappointed, they agree to it despite not wanting to. It depends on each person.

On the other hand, if a lot of time has gone by and your dumper ex has changed for his new girlfriend, then your ex has probably learned to compromise and matured a bit. People improve themselves the most when they fail painfully, but they also grow if the person they’re with inspires them or forces them to change.

For example, if a woman has power over a man or if she’s highly emotional, the man may let the woman control things. He could do this to avoid upsetting her and suffering as a result.

Typically, dumpees are the ones who change. They go through a heart-breaking rejection, so they have no choice but to evolve and be better equipped for future romantic relationships. They grow whereas dumpers focus on enjoying their relief stage and having fun.

Some things your ex might do to treat his new girlfriend are:

• take her out
• go on vacation with her
• express his love to her
• cook her meals
• buy her gifts
• agree to meet her family and friends
• help her at home
• make time for her
• support her emotionally
• and change his habits, clothing style, or behavior you wanted him to change

So has your ex changed for his new girlfriend? It’s unlikely. If their relationship is new, he’s probably just excited to love her and be loved by her. Things are still new and full of positive emotions, so he’s willing to listen and compromise.

It doesn’t take much effort to compromise when the relationship is new and practically self-maintained.

On the other hand, if it’s been years since they got together, then he’s probably found other ways to grow. Either he’s learned to compromise or his hobbies and behaviors have changed over the years. Healthy couples grow as they age.

That’s how they transition from one relationship stage to the next.

Will he eventually stop treating her nicely?

If their relationship is new, he’ll probably treat her super nicely for 3 – 4 months, nicely for 2, and normally (the way he treats his romantic partners (you)) for a long time. I don’t know his personality nor do I have the crystal ball to predict how he’ll act when his relationship gets old.

But I can tell you that if he was mean and uncaring toward you that he won’t treat his new girlfriend like a princess much longer.

The moment he reverts to his old self, you can expect him to act the way he acted around you. If he was manipulative, angry, vengeful, reactive, and disrespectful, it’s who he is. He’ll treat the new girl the same way.

You can be sure about that because romantic relationships bring the good and the worst out of people. They make them demonstrate their ability to control their negative emotions and skills to deal with problems.

Your ex probably hasn’t experienced any difficulties he couldn’t handle yet. He must still be feeling elated and think he’s on top of the world. Give him more time and he’ll treat the girl in question the way he treated you.

Sure, the problems he’ll face probably won’t be exactly the same, but he will respond to difficulties and stressors the same way. He’s wired to respond in certain ways, so don’t think he’ll be the perfect partner to his new girlfriend.

He’ll be more or less the same. The question is will he be able to grow if he stays with her? That’s not something I can predict because it depends on his experiences, lessons, and desires to be a better partner.

The best you can do right now is focus on yourself and let your ex treat his girlfriend any way he wants to.

Does your ex treat his new girlfriend better? How does he treat her? Share your observations and worries in the comment section underneath.

And if you’d like to discuss your ex’s relationship behavior with us, sign up for coaching here.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.