If I Stop Chasing Him, Will He Notice?

If you’ve been chasing a guy (a guy you want to date, already date, or used to date – an ex), he’ll definitely notice if you stop chasing him. He’ll see that you’ve stopped putting time and energy into him and that you’ve finally developed self-respect and dignity.

He won’t miss your attention and desire for validation, but he will realize that your priorities have shifted and might wonder why you’ve stopped running after him.

If he’s someone you like but never had a relationship with, what he thinks and does depends on how he perceives you. If he thinks of you as a friend or someone he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with, he probably won’t react or react strongly to you.

He’ll be glad you’ve stopped chasing him and let him find a more compatible partner.

But if he has feelings for you and is hoping to build something meaningful with you, then he’ll likely reach out to you when he doesn’t hear from you. Power will shift in your favor as he’ll wonder if he did something to disappoint you and lose your interest in him.

Mind you, there’s no need to play power games with someone who wants to be with you. A guy who likes you will pursue you and want to be with you whether you pretend to be busy or not. Only guys who want superficial things from you will be bothered by your lack of attention when you pull away and stop paying attention to them.

Such guys have unresolved problems and aren’t ready for a serious relationship. They need to work on themselves and learn to appreciate people who give them attention and care.

You should stop chasing a guy like that and keep in mind that he could come back for validation when he realizes you’re not talking to him or treating him the same way anymore. He could even tell you how amazing you are before he gets what he needs and abandons you again.

Only take him seriously if your absence makes him realize that he loves you and wants to be with you. If he realizes he has feelings for you, he’ll want to spend a lot of time with you and ask for or hint at exclusivity.

What about someone you’re dating? Will he notice if you stop chasing him?

If you’re doing too much and he’s doing too little, he’ll notice the shift in interest and power when you pull away and start taking care of yourself. The real question is will he care about it?

If he detached (and fell in love with someone else), he probably won’t care.

He’ll appreciate you giving him the space he needs to focus on himself or someone else. You’ll be doing him a favor because you’ll allow him to walk away from the relationship (and possibly into another relationship) with a clear conscience.

However, if he has feelings for you but has taken you for granted because you do most of the work, then he’ll notice and care about your change in behavior as soon as you stop chasing him and start taking care of your own wants and needs.

He’ll notice that he’s not the most important person in your life anymore and that your love for yourself comes first. That could make him respect you a lot, threaten his safety, and cause him to check up on you and find out if you’re okay and still in love with him.

Some guys don’t appreciate what they have. They receive more than they give, so they’re happy to keep taking. They stop taking and start giving only when their partner stands up for him/herself and stops handing them everything on a silver platter.

That’s when they feel scared for their safety and wonder what they can do to fix the situation.

If your boyfriend listens only when you stop caring, he’s obviously not a very good listener. He pays attention to what you have to say only when he feels hurt because that’s when his own safety and happiness are at risk.

You may not be able to inspire this person to work on himself and become more attentive and caring. This depends mainly on his capacity and willingness to grow and have a fulfilling relationship with you.

Don’t think you’re entirely responsible for making him want to self-improve and be with you. If he doesn’t have his priorities straight, he’ll likely ignore you no matter what you say and make you look like the person who needs to change.

So if your boyfriend isn’t giving you what you want from the relationship, talk to him about it. Tell him (don’t blame him) what you hope to achieve together and throw a few compliments in the mix as well.

See if he’s open to helping you reach your relationship goals and make you feel important. If he is, you don’t have to do anything else. You can just communicate about the things you don’t like and work on them together.

However, if you try to communicate important matters in polite ways numerous times but fail each time, then it’s safe to conclude that your partner isn’t taking you seriously at the moment.

He thinks everything is fine because he’s happy and in control and that he’s safe because you have a tendency to put his wants and needs before yours. He’s essentially taking you for granted and thinks he doesn’t need to change anything in his life.

Not when he’s fine with the way things are. In this case, you can only try one final thing before you break up with him.

Since he doesn’t care about your feelings and isn’t ready to communicate and change the nice way, you need to take relationship matters into your own hands and stop chasing him.

Stop treating him like a God and focus on yourself instead. Get busy and live for yourself rather than him. I assure you he’ll notice that you’ve stopped chasing him and making your life all about him.

Not only will he notice it, but he’ll start chasing you because he’ll fear that you’ve lost interest in him and fallen in love with someone else.

When he comes to you, you must be straightforward and tell him you’ve tried to make him listen but that he didn’t. Add that if he wants to be with you, he has to make some changes otherwise the relationship won’t work.

In a functional relationship, ultimatums should be avoided. But when you’ve tried everything and nothing’s changed for the better, you don’t have a choice.

Either he changes or you leave.

Couples must be open to positive change. If they aren’t self-aware and work on their flaws, they don’t make each other happy. And if they’re not happy, they shouldn’t be together. They should break up and find ways to evolve and be happy without each other.

Lastly, if the person in question is someone you dated (your ex), you should also stop chasing him. No dumper deserves to be chased after he’s lost feelings and ended a relationship. No matter why the breakup happened, the dumper must be left alone to live life the way he wanted.

If you’ve been reaching out and communicating, hoping he would realize your worth, you’ve been wasting your time and effort.

You’ve been giving him unnecessary attention and power to decide what to do with you. This needs to stop immediately. When it does, he’ll notice that you respect yourself and his need for space.

The sooner you stop chasing him, the sooner you can expect him to recover and perceive you in a better light.

In this post, we shed some light on whether he will notice you if you stop chasing him. We discuss why and when guys notice that you’ve stopped chasing them.

If I stop chasing him, will he notice?

If you stop chasing someone who isn’t giving you the attention you crave, he’ll notice it. It might take him a while to see that you’ve pulled away, but eventually, he’ll see that you’re no longer running after him and expecting him to validate you.

The guy will eventually turn around and notice that you’re gone and that you have no expectations of him. Your lack of presence and one-sided expectations will show him he needn’t keep running away from you and that he can finally enjoy his space and freedom.

Keep in mind though that your absence likely won’t fix the reasons he feels the way he does. Even if he gets curious and misses you, it won’t be enough to love you and want to be with you.

For things to improve, he’ll have to learn or re-learn your importance and want to change.

And he’ll want to change only if he has something to lose.

At the moment, he probably has nothing to lose. He feels in total control of the situation. He’ll feel he could become unhappy when he thinks his lack of happiness is directly related to your absence. When he’s convinced you make him happy and improve the quality of his life, he’ll notice he needs you and loves you.

That’s when he’ll initiate conversations and put in the actual effort.

Until then, he’ll appreciate your space whether he’s a random person, an ex, or your partner. No matter what he is or was to you, he’ll prioritize space over communication.

You need to give him time and space so he can breathe and focus on things he wants to focus on. There’s no guarantee that he’ll rediscover your worth (especially without failure), but you need to leave him alone for a while.

If you’re important to him, space and time will show him he’s not getting what he wants or needs elsewhere and that it’s in his best interest to reconnect with you.

If he lost interest early on before you became a couple, it’s unlikely that your pulling away will make him want to be with you. The guy either got overwhelmed with stressors or depression, realized he wasn’t ready for a new relationship, thought you weren’t a good match, got back with an ex, or found someone else to date.

For some reason, he stopped pursuing you and lost interest. You must stop chasing him and show him you respect his feelings, decisions, and boundaries. If you do that, you’ll preserve your value and encourage him to come back when he deals with his issues and/or encounters problems.

He’ll probably need to get hurt to start missing you and wanting to continue to get to know you.

If you dated him and got broken up with, he’ll also need to get hurt to appreciate you and want you back. He’ll need to discover your worth through pain and misery. Without failure and pain, it’s unlikely that he’ll realize your worth.

He’ll notice you’ve stopped chasing, but he won’t start chasing himself. To chase you, he’ll need regret and love.

So keep in mind that he’ll notice your change in behavior if you stop chasing. He’ll see that you respect his opinion and feelings as well as yourself. You need to let him see you won’t chase him right after the breakup (or as soon as you can) so that he doesn’t resent you and treat you badly.

As a dumper, he needs to feel in control of the breakup. If he feels in control, he’ll know he’s responsible for all his failures, unhappiness, and pain he encounters after the breakup.

Moreover, if you’re not getting what you want from someone you’re currently seeing, then you need to do the following things chronologically.

1. Stop chasing him and talk to him. Express your feelings, goals, wants, and needs respectfully. Encourage him to see things from your perspective and want to change for the sake of the relationship.
2. Wait for him to grow and/or notice you’ve stopped chasing.
3. If he notices you’re keeping your distance and wants to invest in you, tell him what he needs to change.
4. If he doesn’t notice or doesn’t care, give him an ultimatum and leave if nothing changes.

Don’t chase a guy who doesn’t see your potential and invest in you. If you’re not getting what you want, forcing yourself into his life won’t make him want you more. If anything, it will reduce his interest and respect and get your friend-zoned, ignored, or blocked.

People only respect those who respect themselves. So stop chasing and let him come to you. Whether you broke up, dated for a while, or never dated, he needs to want you much more than you want him.

That’s the only way you’ll regain lost power and give him a reason to want to talk and reconnect.

With that said, here’s when a guy will notice you’ve stopped chasing.

Can I make him start chasing me?

You can’t force a guy to start chasing you. You especially can’t do that if you kept pestering and chasing him for weeks. The guy has to see your value on his own. And he’ll see it only if his personality, maturity, and circumstances allow him to.

Something or someone will probably have to open his eyes, allow or force him to grow, and encourage him to see you differently. This could be a failed relationship or some kind of issue he can’t resolve without you.

That doesn’t mean you can’t do anything to help him realize your worth. The guy will never respect you and want to be with you if you don’t handle things well.

If you chase him, talk to him, or in any shape or form show him you’re overly available to him, he’ll feel validated and discouraged from reflecting and investing in himself.

Your best chance of making him interested in you is to decrease your interest in him. Instead of telling or showing him how important he is to you, show him you can support yourself and live happily without him. Show him you’ll be fine or even better off without him.

This could make him doubt his importance and try harder to obtain your recognition.

A good rule of thumb is that you should never give a person (doesn’t matter who) significantly more than he gives you. If you overinvest, he could take you for granted, get scared and overwhelmed, call you needy or demanding, and consider you unworthy of his time and affection.

A relationship will never be entirely balanced, but when it’s 70/30, it won’t last long. Your partner will sooner than later lose respect or interest and leave you (for someone else). He’ll get tired of being with you because the relationship will become a chore for him.

So stop chasing a guy who doesn’t deserve you. Stop asking him for time when he doesn’t willingly give it to you. He’ll think more positively about you because he’ll see that you don’t depend on him and think of him as a perfect being.

The key to making a person want you is to want a healthy relationship with yourself more than a relationship with him. When you’re happy with yourself, he’ll see you have something positive to add to his life. Something he can’t get on his own.

I hope you’ve learned that a guy will notice you if you stop chasing him. He may not fall in love with you, but at least he won’t feel pressured and repulsed. Leave your comments below the post.

However, if you want to discuss power dynamics before, during, or after a relationship, feel free to reach out for private coaching.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.