If He Has A Girlfriend, Why Does He Want Me?

If a guy has a girlfriend but wants you romantically or sexually, the reason he wants you is that he’s lost attraction to his girlfriend. He hasn’t paid his significant other enough attention to stay in love with her, so he found another person (you) to get close to.

Now that he has two women in his life, he wants to see which person makes him feel the strongest emotions. The one who makes him feel the desire to return love the most will become his new love interest and a person he commits to.

It’s unlikely that the guy will pursue both of you at the same time. Most people only have enough love in their hearts for one person. And that person is the man or woman they feel the strongest emotions for and can benefit from the most.

Since the guy doesn’t know you fully yet, it’s highly likely that he finds you many times more attractive than his partner. He finds conversations with you stimulating and the mutual attraction magnetizing. This kind of attraction occurs when a guy neglects his relationship and morals and opens his heart up to other women.

It happens when he doesn’t value his relationship and has no fear of losing his partner.

So if he has a girlfriend and wants to be with you, know that he’s planning on getting closer and closer to you. He may not plan on leaving his girlfriend for you just yet, but he won’t think twice about it when you guys start flirting and making him crave a deeper connection.

Once you get familiar with each other but not so familiar that you know everything about each other, the guy will probably dump his girlfriend, push her away, and focus entirely on you. Most guys do that because they can’t stop feeling attracted to the new person.

They could have stopped the attraction early on but they enjoyed it too much to do anything about it.

That’s why you can probably predict how things will unfold if you let a guy with a girlfriend keep getting close to you. At first, it will create more distance between him and his partner. Then, it will increase his connection with you and the amount of time you guys spend together.

And finally, you’ll captivate him so much that he decides to dump or perhaps even ghost his girlfriend.

If you don’t want to get caught in the crossfire, you don’t want to get any closer to the guy. You want to keep some distance so you can prevent him from neglecting his relationship and monkey-branching straight to you.

You see, men and women (regardless of gender) give up on their relationships quicker when they have backup plans (people lined up in case their relationship fails). That’s because they have one foot out of the door already and know they can be with someone new right away.

They can just replace their partner with a person who can make them feel loved and important again and skip the self-improvement phase.

In today’s post, we’ll discuss why a guy wants you when he has a girlfriend. We’ll talk about the reasons he finds you so captivating and what you can do about it.

Why won’t he let me go if he has a girlfriend?

If he has a girlfriend but wants you, the guy has stopped focusing on his girlfriend. He’s stopped valuing her and appreciating her commitment and everything she’s done for the relationship. It’s only a matter of time before he loses interest in her completely and finds someone else to date.

Someone who can fulfill his emotional and sexual cravings and make him feel excited to be in love.

A guy who fancies other women when he’s already with someone may not cheat the second he gets a chance to cheat. But because he doesn’t know how to maintain his romantic relationship, he’s going to keep getting closer to other women and eventually emotionally cheat with them.

This is as bad as physical cheating as micro-cheating leads to a loss of attraction, interest, and ultimately, commitment.

Any kind of cultivation of intimate connections outside of the relationship is considered cheating—and more often than not, destroys the relationship from within and causes the committed person pain, anxiety, a loss of self-esteem, and sometimes even trust issues.

So if you think that a guy with a girlfriend wants you intimately, give it some serious thought before you develop an intimate connection with him and get so attracted that you consider being with him and hurting his girlfriend.

It doesn’t matter if their relationship is working or not. If they’re still together, they’re in a committed relationship that should end first. Once it ends, they can then reflect on their shortcomings and mistakes and only then get involved with other people if they choose to do so.

This isn’t just some ideal scenario. It’s how things need to happen so that no one gets cheated on and that all the parties involved can grow in ways they need to.

Therefore, the reason he wants you when he has a girlfriend is that he finds you irresistible. His relationship isn’t working and making him as happy as he’d like to be, so he chose to ignore that part of his life and replace it with happier thoughts and feelings.

In essence, he’s running away from problems rather than dealing with them. If you get involved with him, you shouldn’t expect him to always be the person he is currently presenting himself as. Once things get old (and they always do), the guy will show you the same relationship-solving techniques and behaviors that he showed his girlfriend.

He’ll treat you well when he’s happy and when he feels that the relationship is heading in the right direction. But when the relationship loses momentum, he’ll show you his worst side and might do the same thing to you as he did to his girlfriend.

You should keep in mind that people grow when they regret certain behaviors and actions. Regret makes them feel so uncomfortable that they want to avoid the same feelings of regret in the future. They don’t, however, grow if they jump straight into another relationship and have fun with that person.

“Fun” thwarts growth and usually makes a person make the same mistakes when he or she encounters difficulties.

With that said, here are 6 reasons why he wants you if he has a girlfriend.

A guy with a girlfriend could do lots of things that make you feel special.

He could:

• text you a lot
• tell you you’re amazing, funny, smart, beautiful
• flirt with you
• ask you personal questions
• talk to your friends about you
• give you presents
• invite you out
• or even tell you that he doesn’t have any feelings for his girlfriend

No matter what he says and does, you should keep in mind that he has a girlfriend and that you need to be careful not to seduce him. If he falls for you, he could abandon his relationship just to be with you.

And that wouldn’t feel good.

It’d probably make you think of yourself as a relationship wrecker and an impulsive person. This depends on your morals. But the point is that just because you can get involved with a guy who has a girlfriend, it doesn’t mean that you should.

There’s a decent chance you won’t feel good about it and that the guy will cheat on you too once he gets bored, tired, or whatever he feels with his current girlfriend.

What to do when a guy with a girlfriend wants you?

When a guy who’s already in a relationship wants you, you have to remember that he wants to be with you to ignore and forget the problems in his current relationship. He doesn’t think anything’s wrong with that because he’s so tired of his relationship that he just wants to move forward.

Although he’s emotionally ready for a new relationship, this doesn’t mean he’s developed for it and going about it the right way. The guy will sooner than later encounter very similar problems and exhibit the same old behavioral patterns. And those patterns will cause the same old (as well as new) issues that put a strain on his relationship and put it to the test.

So what do you do if he has a girlfriend and wants you?

You run! Run far away from him and let him deal with his problems on his own. You don’t want him to drag you into the mess he created and force you to feel responsible for the end of his relationship. That will likely overburden you with guilt or shame and make you no better than him.

If you’re looking for a relationship, the best tip I can give you is to date single guys. Leave guys who are committed (although emotionally detached) alone. The likelihood of having a good long-lasting relationship with them isn’t very high.

You’ll have a much more successful relationship with a guy who has officially ended things with his partner and doesn’t have any baggage and drama with his exes.

So when you’re certain that a guy with a girlfriend wants you, tell him you respect his relationship and that you don’t want to cause any problems for anyone. That way, you’ll convey that you’re open to being in a new romantic relationship, but not in one that starts on cheating terms.

Cheaters have a lot of work to do. They shouldn’t be forgiven on the spot and encouraged to keep cheating.

So whatever you do, don’t give the guy an ultimatum to leave his girlfriend and then come see you. If you do that, he could abandon his relationship and immediately run to you. This won’t change anything.

The guy should either identify his problems and fix his relationship or leave his partner, work on himself, and wait for a while before he gets involved with you or someone else.

As I said before, he needs to reflect first and focus on himself to get to the bottom of his cheating tendencies. If he rushes into a relationship with you, you’ll be with someone who isn’t very respectable and trustworthy.

Not only that, but you’ll also wonder if he could do the same to you.

So let your morals guide you and see if the guy also takes the high road. He might not, but don’t let that affect your values and decisions. You’ve got to do what you believe in and what is best for you.

Are you still wondering why he wants you if he has a girlfriend? Let us know why you think a guy would pursue you when he’s already with someone else. Post your thoughts in the comments section below.

Or if you want to discuss it directly with us, sign up for coaching here.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.