When your ex gives you money, your ex sympathizes with your financial situation and feels bad for what you’re going through. Your ex wants you to know that he or she still cares about you and wants you to purchase the things you lack the funds to buy. If you stayed in touch after the breakup, your ex considers you a friend he or she must help when times get tough.
By helping you, your ex gets to see your thankful side and feel good for being a supportive and caring friend. Helping you pay your bills or necessities releases your ex’s feel-good hormones and eases your ex’s guilt for abandoning and hurting you.
If your ex is a guy, he probably considers himself a provider and thinks his role in society, a relationship, or after a relationship is to help women who lack the means to provide for themselves. He doesn’t want them to feel that they’re alone, especially after he left them and focused fully on himself.
However, if your ex is a woman, she likely feels the need to nurture and support the person she left. She likes you as a person and probably makes enough money to help you out now that you’re alone.
People with people-pleasing personalities tend to enjoy helping others. They like the feeling of being thanked and relied on by those in need. Whether it’s a family member, a friend, or an ex, they get pleasure from it and can’t get enough of it. They’d rather help, feel good, and know they did the right thing than deny their ex help and think they’re bad people.
So if you want to know what it means when your ex gives you money, know that it depends on what kind of person your ex is and who left who.
If your ex is the dumper, your ex probably wants to support you financially or perhaps even emotionally. Your ex likes you enough to share some of his or her money with you. Your ex probably feels good when he or she sees that you’re grateful for the money he or she provides.
If your ex is the dumpee, on the other hand, your ex either likes to help or hopes that by giving you money, you’ll redevelop feelings and change your mind about the breakup. He or she wishes that by being helpful and nice to you, you’ll see that he or she is reliable and capable of providing long-term support, safety, and stability.
Your ex may, of course, not want anything in return for his or her financial aid, but if the breakup happened recently, your ex probably still has strong feelings and wants to reattract you by demonstrating his or her kind personality and willingness to help despite not being your partner anymore.
Each person has a different reason for wanting to give his or her ex money. Some do it out of their kind heart whereas others expect their ex to help them back somehow. Usually, they want sex, another romantic opportunity, or friendship and validation. What your ex wants depends on how your ex feels about you and asks from you.
Most exes don’t directly say things like, “I’ll help you out, but in return, I want…” Most of them just hope that their ex will see them in a better light and return to them shortly.
Therefore, your ex may or may not want something from you. You’ll know that your ex wants you back if your ex keeps talking to you, appears apologetic, tries to impress you, and wants your recognition and love. Love will compel your ex to get on your good side and want you back right away. Your ex won’t be very patient. Regardless of whether your ex is a dumpee or a dumper, your ex will stay close to you and try to reconcile with you as quickly as possible.
It’s also possible that your ex wants to redeem him/herself after abandoning and mistreating you. Your ex may be counting on money to make it easier for you to feel cared for and supported. By feeling cared for, there’s a smaller chance that you’ll respond to pain and make your ex feel guilty for leaving and hurting you.
Many dumpers do nice things for their ex because they know they turned their ex’s life upside down. They know they hurt their ex badly and that they must make amends. That way, they can stop thinking negatively about themselves and move on with a clear conscience.
In this post, we discuss what it means when your ex gives you money and how you can keep your hopes low and protect yourself.
What does it mean when your ex gives you money?
It’s quite common for exes to help each other after the breakup. They may not be a couple anymore, but they feel connected enough to do each other favors. Favors often include emotional, physical, and even financial support. It doesn’t matter how they support each other as long as they show they have no hard feelings and that they want to stay in each other’s life.
Dumpers usually don’t understand that dumpees get their hopes up when dumpers are too friendly. They think dumpees appreciate their kind gestures and that it’s perfectly normal for exes to act like friends. Due to a lack of breakup knowledge and understanding of how their ex feels, they give or offer to give their ex money, give their ex false hope, and prevent their ex from letting go and moving on.
They constantly make their ex think it may be possible to get back together and start a new long-term relationship.
Dumpees, on the other hand, give their ex money to please their ex and have their ex thank them and/or take them back. They hope that money will buy their ex’s feelings and bring their ex back before they detach and lose interest. Little do they know that money can’t change how their ex feels unless their ex is in a tight financial situation and chooses security over feelings.
In that case, they could return to their ex, albeit for the wrong reasons. There’s a high chance that the dumper will leave when the dumper gets what he or she needs and reaches his or her goals. The dumper will likely leave when he or she gets back up on his or her own feet and realizes that the dumpee doesn’t fulfill him or her emotionally.
My advice is to never count on superficial things such as money and material things to keep the relationship afloat. It’s impossible for such things to keep a person emotionally fulfilled in a relationship and not gravitate toward someone who actually fulfills his or her romantic needs.
To be with someone long-term, you must feel emotionally connected and in love. Love is the adhesive that prevents couples from breaking up due to doubts, temptations, fears, and personal and relationship problems. If a couple isn’t in love, they break up and look for people they’re more compatible with and willing to invest in.
So if you want to know what it means when your ex gives you money, it means that your ex wants the best for you even if your ex doesn’t get to benefit from it financially. Your ex gets to benefit emotionally as it assuages your ex’s guilty conscience and/or assures your ex it’s the right thing to do. You used to help your ex in the past, so it may be your ex’s way of returning the favor.
Speaking of favors, your ex probably thinks that he or she owes you for breaking your heart. One way to win your trust and forgiveness is to make financial reparations to you. Many dumpees try to repay their debts financially or with kindness and favors. Usually, they contribute in ways that are most accessible or abundant to them.
If they have empathy and care, they’re nice and caring. If they want friendship, they offer their ex friendship. And if they have enough money to spare, they give their ex money and try to make their ex feel valued. Money doesn’t mean as much to them as it means to their ex, so they provide financial support to settle any remaining debts or obligations.
By helping their ex in ways their ex wants to be helped, they consider the breakup even and allow themselves to move forward with their life.
Having said that, here’s what it means when your ex gives you money.
What should you do when your ex gives you money?
If you need your ex’s money, by all means, accept it and use it for essential needs. If you need help, you need help, there’s no need to be ashamed. Just make sure to discuss your ex’s reasons for giving you money and whether it’s a loan or a gift. If it’s a loan, talk about when and how you’ll return the money. You don’t want to receive a call from your ex weeks later, demanding you return the “stolen” money.
When you receive or borrow money, thank your ex for being generous and reassure your ex that you’ll pay him or her back as soon as you can. If your ex wants you to keep it, your ex will tell you that when you promise to pay him or her back. Your ex will probably say something like, “You can keep the money, I don’t need it” or “No need to rush, I don’t need it right now.”
You shouldn’t stay indebted to your ex for long. As a dumpee, it’s extremely important to pay your ex back quickly and be done with your ex. The sooner you finish things with your ex, the sooner you can expect to find internal happiness and recover from heartbreak.
So try not to stay close to your ex after the breakup. The breakup happened because you couldn’t make things work romantically. You’ll also struggle to be friends as long as you have feelings for your ex and depend on your ex for recognition, purpose, and direction. You can be friends who talk to occasionally when you get over the breakup and let your ex process the separation.
But when it comes to helping each other financially, especially when you’re seeing other people, know that you’re entering dangerous waters. Most people will not be okay with their partner receiving or giving his or her ex money. They’ll think their partner is too close to the ex and that he or she should be investing in the new relationship rather than the previous one.
Hence, this financial support has to be a one-time thing. Don’t hide it from your new partner or expect him or her to be okay with it. Simply explain the situation as clearly as you can and say that you won’t accept financial help again. You must reassure your partner that he or she is your top priority and that you don’t consider your ex reliable for your problems.
Your ex isn’t your go-to person anymore. Your new partner is. If you don’t have a new partner, rely on friends, family, coworkers, or anyone willing to help. They’ll give you the support you need.
So if your ex gave you money, repay your ex and/or work on your financial independence. Consider your ex a person you can no longer depend on and start relying on yourself and others. Literally anyone but your ex is better than your ex. Your ex will give you hope whereas others will help you let go of the past and grow stronger.
What do you think it means when your ex gives you money? Do you think your ex still cares about you as a person or perhaps as a partner? Share your views below the post.
And if you’d like to further discuss your ex’s willingness to give you money, check out our coaching options. We provide services through email, phone calls, and text messaging.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
