The Difference Between Love You And I Love You

There’s a difference between “love you” and “I love you.” Love you is quite informal and is usually said out of habit or pride in a romantic relationship. It means that the person saying it doesn’t want to reveal emotions or connect on a deeper level.

Oftentimes, the person expressing love this way is prideful, hurt, or perhaps even angry with his or her partner. This is especially true if he or she says it during or after a disagreement.

I love you, on the other hand, is not habitual or automatic.

Couples normally say it when they feel emotional and loved or when they want to feel loved. It’s a profound, brave expression of love that aims to bring a couple closer.

There may be just a one-letter difference between these two statements, but the letter “I” in any sentence means that an individual is fully aware of what’s happening around him and to him. Not only is he aware, but he also feels a desire to communicate his thoughts and feelings.

When he says “I,” he speaks from his heart and is fully present. It’s hard for him not to mean what he says as “I” adds his personal opinion and feelings to his comment. It makes his listener see that he’s serious and honest.

So if you want to know what the difference is between love you and I love you, know that it may not seem like much, but the difference is huge. Both signify love, care, and commitment, but only one strives to express feelings from the heart and deepen the bond.

That’s the I love you one.

The other one (love you) isn’t bad or anything like that because it still expresses love. Couples sometimes just don’t feel the desire to get too deep. They’re tired or busy, so they say “love you” to focus on things that require their attention in the moment.

Things like overwhelming work, a tense football match, or sleep.

It’s not selfish to say “love you” instead of “I love you” when a situation allows it. It’s selfish and immature only if a person feels hurt during or after an argument and doesn’t want his partner to understand his feelings and feel loved.

That would be a very impersonal approach to a personal problem. An approach that would make his partner feel unloved and insignificant.

So before we talk about the differences between love you and I love you, here’s a little tip from me. Make sure to always say “I love you” when you argue or disagree with your partner.

I love you will show your partner that you lowered your pride and want to make things better whereas love you will show you’re not 100% focused on trying to fix the issue and overcoming your unwanted emotions.

This post is for those who are searching for the difference between I love you and love you.

What is the difference between love you and I love you?

The biggest difference between love you and I love you is that the former is a habitual, often emotionless response that doesn’t particularly look for an exchange of words and emotions. It’s an “out of principle” response that wants the other person to know that he or she is loved.

The I love you response, on the other hand, often shows a desire to bond as it’s a highly expressive response that is much more open to deep emotional discussions and bonding.

That’s because a person who says “I love you” wants or perhaps even needs to hear “I love you back.” He or she expects love in the highest form his or her partner can verbally reciprocate.

A person who says “love you” before turning away from you in bed and nodding off, probably isn’t in the mood for romance and intimacy. He or she feels too tired and/or sleepy to talk about emotions he or she doesn’t feel in that particular moment.

Emotions require energy—one that a sleepy person may not have or be willing to gather. Sleep is more important to him. This is especially true if a couple is past the infatuation phase and operates on autopilot.

So know that the difference between love you and I love you is often in the kind and amount of energy a person feels and wants to feel. If a person is fully conscious, ready for intimacy, and willing to reciprocate love, a person will usually respond with the full version of the line.

But if a person isn’t in the mood, then he or she may opt for a quicker response that decreases his or her partner’s energy levels and takes away the opportunity to bond. By doing so, he or she can focus on more important tasks at hand.

Of course, a person doesn’t necessarily intentionally make the other person feel rejected, but it happens from time to time because people have expectations.

People expect their partner to invest in them as much as they invest in him.

If their partner doesn’t put in the effort (especially when he has the time to do it), they get upset and hurt—and may say or do something that hurts their partner back.

With that said, here are some differences between love you and I love you.

Times when people say love you and I love you

It’s normal to say I love you and love you interchangeably. But most people tend to use these lines in some special cases.

For example, they tend to say love you a bit more often when they’re:

• in a hurry
• sleepy or tired
• bad-tempered
• prideful
• shy
• scared or uncomfortable showing emotions
• responding to love you

This means they tend to say love you after an argument, when they’re not sure about their or their partner’s feelings, and when they have something they want to do more than converse and bond.

People also say love you randomly, but they do this because it’s turned into a habit (a part of who they are). They don’t want to reveal their emotions and seem too eager to connect, so they make their responses impersonal and short.

When people say “I love you,” however, they normally want to make their partner feel special. And just like they want to make their partner feel special, they want to feel special in return. They expect a response that validates their feelings and increases the love in the relationship.

People tend to say “I love you” when they:

• feel a desire to give and receive love
• want to know how their partner feels about them
• want to talk, connect, and plan the future
• and express themselves openly and fearlessly

The “I love you” statement doesn’t require an explanation. We all know how we feel when we say it and what we expect from our partner in return. But if we understand that we indeed expect something, we should also understand that our partner wants some kind of emotional investment back.

So if you’re trying to learn the difference between love you and I love you, bear in mind that I love you requires more courage, effort, and openness, whereas love you is a shorter response said routinely with the intention to focus on something else.

Difference between love you and I love you over text

It doesn’t matter whether you tell a person you love him/her over text, call, or in person. As long as you say “love you,” you show that you’re shy, prideful, in a rush, tired, unsure of your partner’s feelings, or that you need to work on something you haven’t realized yet.

If you need to work on yourself, you probably don’t need to put in a lot of work. Just a little bit of self-awareness and understanding will probably do as it should help you become more expressive.

You can include the “I” by rewiring your brain in such a way that you want to say it. And to want to say it, you have to understand that your partner will appreciate you more if your words come from the heart.

So no matter how you tell your partner that you love him or her, remain open-minded, listen to your partner’s interpretation of the way you express love, and everything will work out in the end.

Should you talk to your partner about the way he/she expresses love?

If you feel that your partner isn’t paying you enough attention or that you’d be happier with full responses, by all means, talk to your partner about it. Tell him you appreciate him telling you he loves you, but that you’d like it even more if he told you he loves you the way you say it to him.

You can converse with him about this any time he gives you the “love you” response. He shouldn’t feel criticized and get defensive because deep inside, he probably already knows that a dismissive “love you” doesn’t feel good.

He wouldn’t like it either if you said it to him.

You should be able to talk to your partner about anything. This includes things you like and things you don’t like. It doesn’t matter what you need to converse about because couples discuss things, compromise, and find ways to be on the same page. If you feel that you can’t do that with your partner, your communication needs to improve.

You should focus on that so you can feel listened to by your partner.

Some time ago, I was in a hurry and told my partner “love you” and she just repeated what she’d initially said (I love you). That’s how I knew that she wanted to hear the full line and that I needed to be more expressive next time.

You can do what my partner did, but if your partner doesn’t understand what you meant by it, you should probably talk about it and make sure you both communicate in ways that make you feel special.

This “love you stuff” isn’t a dealbreaker for most people, but it’s something you should probably be aware of if you want your partner to feel loved and respected. You should keep in mind that your partner isn’t you and that he or she wants to feel the same kind of love that he or she sends out.

So give your partner the full response if she gives you the full response. But if you’re super busy and don’t feel fully present, then “love you” might be okay too. It depends on each couple as some (oftentimes busy) couples are okay with quick love yous.

They don’t take them personally, so they don’t get offended or hurt by them.

I can’t tell you specifically what to do because I don’t know what works for you and your partner, but you should definitely reciprocate your partner’s words and make your partner feel valued.

Here’s how you can respond to your partner’s I/love yous.

You’ve probably noticed that I love you comments demand an “I” response. They need the letter I so they can showcase care and appreciation.

Therefore, if you want your partner to feel loved and love you back, you should express your love in ways that he or she wants and expects to receive it. By doing so, you’ll speak in your partner’s love language and make it easier for your relationship to blossom.

I hope you’ve learned the difference between love you and I love you. Let us know what you think about the differences in the comments section below.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.