Ex-girlfriend Still Wears The Jewelry I Gave Her. Why?

Ex girlfriend still wears the jewelry I gave her

Does your ex-girlfriend still wear the jewelry you gave her? Does it make you wonder why she wouldn’t just stop wearing it, give to someone else, or sell it?

If it does, know that there are several possible explanations for her behavior.

The most probable explanation is that she’s the dumper and doesn’t associate the unhappiness from the end of the relationship with the jewelry. She doesn’t feel the negative emotions that caused the breakup because she’s in control of her emotions and associations.

She isn’t holding any grudges.

If she’s the dumpee, however, then she probably feels attached to you and wears the jewelry out of love and commitment to you. She hasn’t quite given up on the relationship yet, so she wears the jewelry in hopes that she will reconcile with you and prove that she stayed loyal.

Another reasonable explanation as to why your ex-girlfriend wears the jewelry you gave her is that she likes the jewelry and just doesn’t care that you’re her ex-boyfriend. She wants to wear it because wearing it became a habit and looks good on her.

She doesn’t want to stop wearing it just because you’re no longer a couple. For her to do that, she would need to despise you or feel so hurt by you that seeing the jewelry would bring out unwanted reminders of the past and make her feel extremely angry, sad, or uncomfortable.

So if your ex-girlfriend still wears the jewelry you gave her, bear in mind that she doesn’t despise you nor think badly of you. If she’s the dumper, she may have fallen out of love with you, but she doesn’t associate her lack of love with the bracelet, ring, chain, necklace, earrings, piercing, or pendant.

If she’s the dumpee, however, and the breakup occurred not too long ago, then she may still have some feelings for you and holds on to the jewelry with the expectation that she may reconcile with you one day. Either that or she likes the jewelry and wants to wear it because she likes wearing it.

Today, we’ll discuss why your ex-girlfriend still wears the jewelry, gifts, or clothes you got her prior to the breakup.

Ex girlfriend still wears the jewelry I gave her

Why does my ex still wear the jewelry I got her?

Some people (usually dumpees) keep the jewelry they received from their exes because they attach sentimental value to it. They feel emotional after the breakup, so they keep their ex’s gifts to remember their ex. But of course, this isn’t the case for every person out there. Sometimes people continue to wear jewelry after the breakup because they’re used to wearing it and like wearing it.

They like how it looks, but most importantly, how it feels.

The act of wearing something they like helps them express themselves. It completes their outfit, so they hold on to it because letting go of it would feel like they’re letting go of a part of their identity.

Just how you wear your clothes because you like wearing them, your ex-girlfriend wears the jewelry you got her because she likes wearing it. She isn’t concerned about who gave her the gift and what the story behind it is.

She just knows that she feels good wearing it and that she won’t let the breakup change how she feels about it.

Your ex-girlfriend basically found a piece of jewelry that she likes, so she’s probably going to keep wearing it for as long as her taste in fashion remains the same. If at any point in the future her fashion changes, she might put it away, sell it, give it to a friend, or get it replaced.

There’s no telling what she’ll do about it in the future, but right now, she wants to wear it because wearing it gives her the emotional response she wants.

As a guy, you should probably be happy that your ex-girlfriend still wears your gift. It’s a little strange, but try to be thankful that she decided to keep and wear something that came from you. It might help you see your ex-girlfriend in a different light.

Think about it this way. Would it make you feel better if she didn’t wear your gifts anymore? Would that kill your false hope and give you the satisfaction that you and she are over for good?

What if she smashed your jewelry to pieces and posted it on Instagram for everyone to see? Would that demonstrate that she’s never coming back?

It might. But something tells me you don’t want your gift to go to complete waste because your gift came from the heart. You don’t want your ex-girlfriend to show you how little you mean to her. Especially not if she dumped you because in that case, her harmful post-breakup behavior could kill your hope for reconciliation faster than it’s safe for you to lose it.

It could hurt you a lot.

Even as a dumper, you probably want your ex to show some appreciation for the gift. You may not like her romantically and care about what exactly she does with all the things you got her, but deep inside, you still care a little bit because you took the time to pick her gift and spent some money on it.

So if you’re wondering why your ex-girlfriend still wears the jewelry or other gifts you got her, don’t overanalyze the meaning behind your ex’s actions. All her actions mean is that she doesn’t think so poorly of you that she can’t stand wearing the jewelry you got her.

It likely means that she will take care of your jewelry for a while. At least until she gets bored of it and wants something new or different.

If you got dumped, this information should reassure you that your ex is in control of her most dangerous breakup emotions and that she’s taking the high road about it.

However, if you did the dumping yourself, then you’re probably confused as to why your ex would keep wearing your rings, bracelets, or necklaces—and why not just get angry or upset with you and take them off. If this is what you’re wondering, you need to understand that not all dumpees get so frustrated with the breakup that they do impulsive things.

Some dumpees keep their ex’s gifts (even when they’re in the angry stage of a breakup for the dumpee) and hold on to the gifts for as long as they like the gifts and have respect for their ex. I said “as long” because many dumpees initially think highly of their ex and keep their ex’s gifts for a possible future reconciliation.

They’re afraid of throwing them away and deleting pictures and other reminders on social media because they still want their ex back. But when they move on (and possibly met someone new), their mentality changes and they begin to see things more rationally.

They notice that holding on to the past is bad for their happiness and well-being and that they need to get rid of their ex’s gifts once and for all.

Some dumpees realize this a month after the breakup, some months later, and some after years. When exactly they realize this depends on their self-esteem and their ability to process the breakup.

In essence, both dumpees and dumpers keep each other’s gifts for one reason – because they like it. But dumpees tend to wear them because they’re hurt and still crave their ex-boyfriend’s presence whereas dumpers tend to be in a position of power and wear them because wearing them doesn’t hurt them or stop them from moving on.

Is it ok for my ex to wear the things I gave her?

Technically, if your ex wants to wear the jewelry you got her, she can wear it. You gave it to her as a gift, so she can do what she wants with it. She can even pawn it or give it to her new boyfriend if she wants to.

But should she do that? Is it the morally right thing to do?

Pawning it or using it herself may not be unethical, but giving something with sentimental value to her new boyfriend and having you find out about it probably is.

I’m not sure why people give their exes’ gifts to their new partners, but I think it’s because they themselves don’t want to wear or use the gifts, so they say to themselves, “It’s better to give them to someone who will use them than to throw them away or not use them at all.”

This thinking probably makes some sense. If someone else can benefit from something your ex gave you and you don’t want to use it, I suppose giving it to someone who’ll appreciate it more than you doesn’t hurt. It hurts only when you get rid of a present that still means a lot to your ex. A present that’s unique and/or has sentimental value.

Furthermore, I don’t think it’s wrong to keep using gifts our exes gave us. Gifts for me personally quickly lose their nostalgic value when the person who gave me the gift no longer cares about me. It may take me some time to disassociate the person from the gift, but eventually, I stop connecting the gift with my ex-partner and just enjoy the gift.

When my ex left me, I kept wearing the bracelet she got me. I didn’t want to not wear it just because she broke up with me and hurt me. The bracelet didn’t do anything to me, so there was no point in taking it out on the bracelet (or on my ex for that matter).

I would have removed it if wearing it hurt me. But it didn’t, so I kept it on.

My new girlfriend didn’t like that I still wore that bracelet at first, but after talking about it, she became ok with it. She saw that I didn’t care where the gift came from and that I just liked wearing it.

I wore that bracelet for about two years until it broke. But since it had no sentimental value to me, I never bothered to get it fixed. It’s been sitting in my drawer for quite some time now. I’m not sure if I’m ever going to get it fixed. I’ll probably just replace it or ask someone to do it for me (to connect it with someone I care about).

If your ex-girlfriend is wearing your promise/wedding/engagement ring, however, then that’s a completely different story. She probably won’t wear it much longer unless she likes the ring and doesn’t care that the ring symbolizes the relationship that she’s no longer committed to.

It’s best not to worry about it too much as the ring doesn’t indicate that she’s thinking about giving the relationship another chance.

Does your ex-girlfriend still wear the jewelry you gave her? Does it make you feel uncomfortable? Let me know how you feel about it by posting a comment below this article.

Also, if you’re looking for 1-on-1 private coaching, click here to learn more.

9 thoughts on “Ex-girlfriend Still Wears The Jewelry I Gave Her. Why?”

  1. My ex was at a christmas party at the restaurant i own. I bartend there. She stood by the bar most of the night and we talked for the first time in two years. Light, casual conversations between me serving drinks. I never noticed the neckless she was wearing but later she pointed it out to me. The one i bought her in Hawaii. I smirked and asked her where she got that? Haha. She looked incredible. She dumped me two years ago but it was great to see her smiling and to hear her voice again. I don’t think the meckless meant anything. Just wanted to share my story

    1. Hi Jake.

      Thanks for sharing your story. Your ex likes the necklace and doesn’t associate negative feelings with it because of the breakup. That’s good as it shows she’s not bitter about it.

      Zan

  2. My ex still wares my ring around her neck on the chain and pendants I bought her she even kept my new track pants and one of my favourite shirts wt .

    1. Hi Stephen.

      Try not to look into it too much. She probably likes the things you got her and doesn’t associate pain with them.

      Sincerely,
      Zan

  3. Hey Zan,

    You helped me a lot during my breakup and I wouldn’t be able to go through everything without you advices! So I’m extremely grateful!
    About the gifts that I give to my dumper ex, he still wears them and I didn’t get it till now
    I don’t wear anything that my ex give me because I connect the gift with my ex-partner…

    Thank you million times,
    Linda 🤍

    1. Hi Linda.

      I’m happy I was able to help you find closure. And don’t worry, it’s okay if you don’t want to wear the gifts your ex got you. If they make you feel uncomfortable, it’s better not to.

      Best,
      Zan

  4. I had my first counseling session with Zan this afternoon via Discord. He talked to me over and beyond the 1 hour I paid for. He was very professional and asked probing questions that were non-judgmental—I was very nervous and afraid he was going to think I was the one at fault for being the dumpee. He made me realize that I was dumped about 8 months ago even though the guy who dumped me kept texting every 2 weeks with pointless questions about my job, which didn’t allow me my space to move on.
    Zan also gave me a strategy for coping with my embarrassment and grief now that I realize how I was being used by this guy for an ego boost. I feel so much stronger and more resilient after speaking with Zan—he’s not the hardass I thought he would be—he’s very chill and listens intently. Worth every penny.
    Keep doing your thing Zan you are helping all of us!

    1. Hi Claire.

      Thank you for writing this comment. I enjoyed speaking with you too—and I’m glad our short conversation helped you see things more clearly. The guy really was stringing you along for his own satisfaction, so it’s good that you put an end to his breadcrumbs and manipulation/power techniques. You deserve someone much, much better.

      Don’t hesitate to message me on Discord if you have any questions or concerns.

      Thank you,
      Zan

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