10 Biggest Relationship Killers

Relationships require conscious effort to make them work. We need to flourish them to keep the romance going. Simply going with the flow doesn’t work in most cases. All relationships have issues and arguments that need to be taken care of. Here are the biggest relationship killers that can separate happy couples.

1)Neediness

One of the biggest relationship killers is neediness. It means to constantly seek affection and reassurance to the point of suffocating the other person. An exhibition of this behavior is extremely revolting and unattractive.

It makes the other person wonder why they are with such a person. They subconsciously think to themselves: “my value is way higher than yours and I want to be with someone who has an equal or higher value.”

2)Insecurity

Showing insecurities is such a turn off because it portrays a lack of self-confidence and self-respect. Some of the most common insecurities in relationships are:

• lacking confidence
• constantly seeking approval
• jealousy
• beta behavior
• untrusting behavior
• false accusations
• constant reliance on the partner

3)Lack of relationship knowledge

This is so important because we, as human beings don’t know how to express ourselves without coming off too strongly. We end up hurting our partner not because we intend to, but because the way we convey our messages is done in the wrong way.

Read “How to Win Friends & Influence People“. We can achieve our goal by saying things either in a hurtful or respectful way.

You can say to your partner: “clean the dishes please” or you can say: “hey, I know you’ve been busy recently with your new job and you’ve been taking care of the children as well, but I have to head out now. I would really appreciate if you could do the dishes while I am out. I’ll grab takeaway on the way back”.

Two messages that yield two different results. Communication is key in relationships, hence why it’s one of the most common relationship killers.

4)Lack of self-control

When emotions run high, logic runs low. Bad things can happen when two people are acting on emotion. Words are shouted out loud and things can fly across the room. Remember to find the right relaxation technique to stop feeling angry.

Anger can be very destructive if not properly maintained and controlled. If nothing is done to keep anger at bay, it can become one of the ugliest relationship killers.

Depression can also be repulsive and destructive as people can only sympathize with one for so long before they get fed up. If you are depressed, seek professional help so you don’t drag your partner around for years. Do it for them if not for yourself and show them that you too care about them.

5)Money

Money arguments are more common in marriages when partners cannot agree on equality. It can be due to different pay grades or by disagreeing on what to buy and where to invest. Sharing money is no easy task. Both partners need to be mature and share common goals before opening a shared account.

6)Controlling behavior

Controlling is a form of insecurity, but I thought I should put it under a separate category since it’s so common. It portrays a lack of self-worth. A good example would be constantly questioning your partner “where are you heading, who are you talking to” or restricting him from doing certain things.

7)Arguments

Both resolved and unresolved leave scars that need to be healed. For every negative experience, there should be at least 5 positive ones, I have read somewhere. I’m not sure if this is something that works, but try to solve arguments in a healthy manner, before it gets to the point of no return. Arguments are huge relationship killers as they almost always lead to a breakup.

7)Drug abuse

Has your partner been giving you hints to stop drinking, excessive smoking or taking drugs and other illegal substances without doctor’s approval? There is only so long he will stick around before he pulls the plug. Beat your addiction and break free if you truly value yourself and your partner.

8)Different goals and ambitions

Does your partner want children and you don’t? Do they want to move to a different city to work? These are the things that need to be discussed before moving in together and planning a united future.

9)Not enough alone time

As much as you should invest in your partner, you should also invest in yourself. They should not be your only source of happiness. Instead, sign up for a gym, go camping with your friends and have ambitions that don’t involve your partner. It’s extremely attractive and can only contribute to the blooming of the relationship. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

10)Incompatibilities

I am personally not a believer of this as I think a lot of couples find each other and end up together because they are compatible to some degree. It starts with hobbies and ends up with personality adjustments.

Compatibility is something that is developed and not “predetermined”. The only thing that matters is whether you like the person for who he is. Can you put up with his bad habits or does it annoy you? Most of these habits can be changed and adjusted. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

What are your personal biggest relationship killers? Post your experience in the comments below.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.