Why Does My Ex Look Mad When He Sees Me?

If your ex looks mad when he sees you, he probably doesn’t want to be around you. The guy gets reminded of the bad times or the breakup itself and thinks that you’re invading his space and privacy. He considers you dangerous or annoying and wants you not to look at him, let alone interact with him.

Your ex would rather not run into you or be forced to interact with you, even if it’s about work or personal belongings.

Now that you’ve broken up, your ex needs space to think, feel, and do what he wants. If you get near him, he doesn’t know how to react (thinks that he’s losing control over his emotions and actions) and feels tempted to get rid of you in the quickest way possible.

The quickest way possible includes walking away, ignoring you, and giving you an angry look.

Anger is a form of self-defense. It helps your ex protect himself from people or things he considers a threat to his health and well-being. Mind you, you’re probably not doing anything to make your ex mad. It’s your presence alone that breaches his comfort zone and triggers his negative perceptions, thoughts, and feelings.

Your body (not your behavior) brings back unhealthy reminders of the past and makes him feel and look mad.

Whatever you do, don’t take his grumpiness personally. His irritation and resentment have nothing to do with who you are as a person. He may have blamed you for the end of the relationship, but his emotions are his problems, not yours. They indicate that he feels victimized and that he has some internal matters to resolve.

If he dumped you, he probably needs some time away from you to process the separation. He needs to forget about you for a while so he can do what he wants and feel in control of his life and emotions. If he can’t get the space he needs (let’s say because you work together), he gets frustrated and may appear mad, cold, mean, or avoidant.

How he acts depends on his personality, maturity, mood, and perception of you.

The situation between you and him will be awkward for a while, but that’s how things usually are between exes. They (typically dumpers) hold grudges and have difficulty hiding them. They hold their ex responsible for their difficult emotions and wish they could teleport away from their ex and be left alone to process the breakup.

Strange couples’ or ex-couples’ behavior is one of the main reasons companies have a strict no-dating policy. They don’t want any distractions and drama at a place of work. It’s unproductive for the company to have partners or former partners quarrel and waste time and energy on non-work-related matters.

It’s a shame that people’s anger, resentment, and lack of understanding of themselves affect others. If they understood where their irritation comes from and worked on improving their self-control and emotions in general, they wouldn’t make others’ lives so difficult.

They’d be able to control and process their negative emotions in healthy ways and reduce people’s negative thoughts and feelings.

Some people grew up with controlling parents or went through various traumatizing experiences due to others’ lack of morality and emotional self-control.

As a result of angry people, they’re now scared of people who exude angry tendencies and get triggered by them. This tends to happen when their ex gets mad because they get reminded of the traumatizing past and think they’re not good enough.

Such people need to distance themselves from people who criticize and despise them. Instead of analyzing their vexation and wondering how they contributed to it, they must get space from them and work on their self-esteem problems.

And that’s what you should do as well; focus on yourself and others. Heal from the past and do your best not to assume that your ex looks mad when he sees you because of who you are or what you’ve done. Your ex looks mad because he associates negative thoughts and feelings with you and isn’t able or willing to disassociate them.

He prefers to view you in a negative light because it makes him feel victimized and gives him power and control.

Of course, a person’s facial expressions and body language aren’t the most accurate ways to judge a person’s feelings and intentions. If you judge someone purely by his non-verbal communication, you could make a mistake and brand him as a vengeful ex who wants to punish you for your past mistakes.

That could make you fight back and cause unnecessary problems.

So just like shy people often get confused for being rude, you could also confuse your ex for being something he’s not. It may be best not to jump to conclusions before you see your ex look mad multiple times and confirm that he’s mad and resentful.

One occurrence could be a coincidence, but multiple similar events could be a pattern.

Also, every person displays emotions slightly differently. Some get visibly mad whereas others hide their emotions from their ex and others. They don’t want people to read their emotions because they’re afraid they’ll look impulsive and weak.

However, if you know your ex and have seen him angry and frustrated many times, then you probably know what your mad ex looks like. You know when he’s sad, disappointed, mad, or furious.

You’ve known him long enough to understand when you’re respected and wanted and when you’re not.

As long as he merely looks mad, he’s probably not going to complicate your healing. He may confuse you and make you wonder about his anger, but he shouldn’t damage your self-esteem and cause you to blame yourself for the breakup.

Not unless you have self-esteem issues and he acts on his emotions, spreads rumors about you, and takes his anger out on you. That could hurt you badly and make you obsessed with him.

In today’s post, we discuss why your ex looks so mad when he sees you and what you should do about it.

Why does my ex look mad when he sees me?

If your ex looks mad when he sees you, whether at work, school, store, or anywhere in public, you have a sign that your ex hasn’t processed the breakup yet. Your ex still holds you responsible for his negative emotions and the breakup itself and doesn’t want you close to him.

His anger is a warning sign that you’re not welcome/allowed close and that he’ll shove you away if you do something he’s not ready for. Your ex is basically in guard mode, ready to defend himself if you cross his boundaries. And you could cross his boundaries by starting a conversation with him and disrespecting his need for space.

The fact that he’s ready to fight for space and push you away the moment you say hello shows that he’s not ready to talk about random things, let alone the breakup. The guy needs to deal with unhealthy perceptions and let go of anger before he can greet you and engage in small talk.

Exes feel, look, and act mad because they view their ex negatively and aren’t emotionally ready to be near their ex. They feel a lot of raw emotions they lack the tools to control.

If you talk to them and try to help them cool off when they can barely look at you, you’ll bring out their repressed thoughts and feelings, feel their wrath, and regret saying anything. That’s why it may be best to let your ex think and feel what he wants.

If he’s angry and miserable after dumping you, let him be angry and miserable. Don’t offer to help him calm down when he’s not ready to calm down. He’ll take a chill pill when he’s processed the separation and realized that he wasn’t perfect either.

It may take him many months or even years to fully let go of the past and acknowledge his mistakes, but that’s his choice. If he doesn’t get help and stop being mad, he doesn’t want to. He enjoys feeling angry, being in control, and ruining his happiness and future relationships.

Prolonged anger is not good for his health. It’s self-destructive and growth-preventing. As long as he’s angry, he thinks he’s right and you’re wrong. This mentality stops him from reflecting and seeing the bigger picture (that you both made mistakes and need to learn from them).

A mad person considers himself a victim and can’t outgrow his problems. He can only blame the person who hurt him (his ex) and expect his ex and the world to change to his liking. That’s obviously not a healthy expectation. It’s emotionally immature and repulsive to any other person who may be interested in him.

So if you’re wondering why your ex looks mad when he sees you, he’s mad because he doesn’t know how to or want to control the image he projects. The breakup made him feel a strong need to distance himself from you, so he feels trapped and vulnerable when he runs into you.

To feel in control, he puts on his brave face and prepares himself for something unpredictable and unwanted. Something like a potential interaction.

The good thing is that he merely looks mad and doesn’t actually get mad at you. If he were to explode at you simply for looking at him, you’d feel horrified, judged, and overwhelmed. You’d probably think he’s mad and mean because you weren’t a good partner.

Having said that, here are different reasons why your ex looks mad when he sees you.

How should I act if my ex looks mad?

Whether your ex looks mad or is mad, you shouldn’t take the liberty to soothe his anger. You should keep in mind that he’s your ex, not an ex-partner who loves you and wants to look for solutions with you. Your ex can’t be placated and doesn’t want your help. If he wanted your understanding and emotional support, he would have come to you or at the very least looked more receptive.

At the moment, your ex isn’t receptive to anything. He finds you 100% responsible for the breakup and the emotions that ensued. He doesn’t want you anywhere near him. His gestures show that he’s not interested in talking about his feelings and that he wants you to leave him to his devices.

And that’s exactly what you should do. Let him feel, look, and act any way he wants because his emotions and problems no longer concern you. They may feel uncomfortable, but they’re not your responsibility. Your ex isn’t helping you with your breakup problems, so you needn’t help him either.

He can deal with them on his own if he wants to. The problem is that he doesn’t want to let go of his anger right now. He likes holding on to it for determination and control. And he’ll keep doing that until he processes his negative feelings and realizes that anger doesn’t serve him anymore.

Until then, expect him to look mad when he sees you. If his self-control is lacking, he could also project his anger onto you and make his problems your problems. If that happens, get away from your ex as quickly as possible. Don’t apologize and make him feel in control of your emotions too.

Simply cut your ex off and let his outburst be the last time he disrespects you. Your ex needs to learn to respect you. That’s the only way he’ll ever feel something for you again.

Why do you think your ex looks mad when he sees you? Share your views and ask questions below the post.

And if you want our take on your relationship or breakup, subscribe to coaching with us. You can do that on his link.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.