Why Do Guys Like Their Exes’ Pictures?

Some girls think that guys like their exes’ pictures because they love their exes and want them back. But this is seldom the case.

Most of the time, guys like their exes’ pictures because they want to send their exes an indirect message that they like, appreciate, or respect what’s on the picture and that they support or encourage them to keep posting similar pictures.

At least that’s how guys see it. Girls (guys’ girlfriends), on the other hand, tend to see things differently. They consider the guys’ like as an actual like and as a result, feel uncomfortable or even insecure.

This sometimes makes them act on their insecure feelings and causes them to tell their boyfriends that they’re being inconsiderate of their feelings and disrespectful of their loyalty.

Why do guys like their exes’ pictures?

As you probably know, guys usually consider themselves as very logical and thoughtful people. That’s why if there’s one thing guys hate, it’s when they’re told that they’re wrong, uncaring, or insensitive.

Any kind of objection or disapproval of their goodwill essentially makes them feel disrespected and conveys to them that their girlfriend is controlling and preventing them from being friends with their ex-girlfriends.

If you’re a woman and you’re wondering why guys like their exes’ pictures, know that most guys’ understanding of right and wrong is different from girls’. I’m not saying that their morals are poor, but that they see things differently and usually find more behaviors acceptable than girls do.

This is because they make decisions purely from a rational standpoint (don’t put themselves in their girlfriends’ shoes) and tend to justify their behavior by sayings things like, “It’s okay to like ex-girlfriends’ pictures as long as I don’t get physically involved with them and do something to betray my girlfriend’s trust.”

Guys with this kind of thinking are only half right. Rationally, they aren’t cheating as they aren’t doing anything wrong. But emotionally, they’re being self-centered as they aren’t considering their partners’ feelings.

This is why women typically think that guys are insensitive whereas guys think that women are too sensitive. Even though there’s probably some truth to this, the biggest problem is that women and men lack gender difference knowledge.

They don’t understand each other because they don’t consider things from both rational and emotional perspectives.

Women don’t take a deep breath and try to understand why guys think that liking exes’ pictures is “a harmless gesture” and guys don’t empathize and sympathize—and reassure their partner in a collected manner.

When women express their worries in an emotional manner, many men take it as a personal attack and a complaint. When men express their frustrations or try to justify themselves, however, women perceive them as rude, insensitive, and defensive.

The key to dealing with such matters is to:

• learn more about yourself (grow your self-awareness, perceptions, expectations, patience, understanding)
• learn more about gender differences (how the opposite gender perceives surroundings and reacts to them)

You can improve these things simply by dedicating your time to self-improvement. Increase your relationship knowledge by reading a few good relationship books, starting with “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.”

What do guys get from liking their exes’ pictures?

Guys don’t really get much from liking their exes’ pictures. Sure, they get an enhanced sense of gratitude for being a decent person, but other than that, they don’t get much.

They don’t feel love-like feelings or anything their girlfriends think they do because most guys have no ulterior motives. Most guys genuinely want to be good people and think that it’s not wrong to talk to their exes while they’re in a new relationship.

They think they have the right to be friends with whomever and whenever they want. Even if that person is an ex whom they broke up with or got broken up by.

If you’re a girl and your boyfriend keeps liking his exes’ pictures on Facebook or other social media platforms, let me assure you that there’s probably no need to panic.

Your boyfriend is probably “just” being ignorant, defensive, and doesn’t know how he makes you feel.

I think you should raise a red flag only if your boyfriend recently got broken up with and/or if his likes and comments aren’t selfless but rather selfish.

What do I mean by that?

I mean that you should be suspicious of your boyfriend if he expects his (recent) ex-girlfriend to reciprocate and validate his efforts.

That would indicate that his ex-girlfriend’s reaction (attention) reassures him (eases his anxiety) and gives him hope for reconciliation.

But I suppose you’d know if your partner still likes his ex and feels dependent on her.

You’d notice that he:

• talks about his ex a lot (especially in a bad way)
• constantly compares her to you
• asks you to be more like her
• plans 1-on-1 time with her
• and appears to be emotionally unavailable

Is it wrong to like your exes’ pictures?

I’m a guy, so for me, liking exes’ pictures doesn’t “feel” wrong. To me, my exes are people from the past who create no positive emotions whatsoever.

So if I were to tag my exes, like them, or comment on their pictures, it wouldn’t make me feel like I’m getting close to them and that I’m disrespecting my partner. On the contrary, I’d feel that I’m a good person for giving my exes my approval even though my relationships with some of them didn’t have the happiest ending.

My girlfriend, on the other hand, doesn’t understand this logic. Although she trusts me, she explained to me that she wouldn’t appreciate “my generosity and kindness” because she’d find it “disrespectful and an inconsiderate thing to do.”

She said my interactions with my exes would tell her that I don’t care about her emotional and mental well-being and that I don’t value her as my partner.

Seeing me like my exes’ pictures would disturb her peace of mind and trigger jealousy, insecurity, self-doubt, fears, and even traumas from previous relationships. This is why I don’t communicate (directly or indirectly) with my exes unless I need to or if they message me.

I don’t want my partner to get hurt and have even the slightest bit of doubt. I made a promise to keep her happy when I asked her to be with me—so that’s what I do.

Some guys might think that I’m being a pushover or that I’m enabling my girlfriend instead of helping her, but I don’t see it that way. I see it as a necessity for making the relationship stronger.

Stronger in a healthy way and not in some codependent way.

I’ve noticed that lots of guys make the mistake of thinking that their girlfriends’ emotional difficulties are their girlfriends’ problems and not theirs. They think that those emotional difficulties are caused by their partners’ trust issues, a lack of confidence/self-control, poor self-esteem, possessiveness, and even envy and jealousy.

And because guys think this way, they often defend themselves, retaliate with anger, put the blame on their girlfriends for opposing “their free will,” and as a result, make their girlfriends feel even less secure than they did before.

When guys negatively react to their girlfriends’ negative reactions, guys affect girls a lot. They make them think that they wouldn’t get so upset if they had nothing to hide, which is why girls instinctually distance themselves a bit from their partners and protect themselves.

Their boyfriends aren’t helping them deal with anxiety, so they have no choice but to deal with it on their own in the only way they know how.

Not all women think, feel, and react this way, of course, but the truth is that the majority of them aren’t okay with guys liking their exes’ pictures. The majority don’t want their boyfriends to do that even if their boyfriends’ interactions with their exes are indirect and completely harmless.

They want to be the only ones who receive likes and comments from their boyfriends because they are their number one.

I suppose women are aware and bothered by the fact that one like can turn into a comment and that a comment can quickly lead to conversations, friendships, and eventually even more.

That’s why they’d rather be on the safe side.

And yes, women should trust the person they’re with as trust is fundamental to every relationship. But their partner should also be mindful of their feelings and do something to ease their worries.

So is it wrong to like your exes’ pictures while you’re in a new relationship?

It may not be wrong for guys (or even women) who have no feelings for their exes to like their exes’ pictures. But it’s definitely wrong when someone’s feelings get hurt.

It’s always best to discuss these matters with your partner and make a decision based on how your social media behavior affects your partner.

How to tell a guy to stop liking his exes’ pictures?

If you want to ask your boyfriend to stop liking his exes’ pictures, the first thing you need to understand is that telling your boyfriend to do something he hasn’t thought about or isn’t ready to change is not the right approach.

Your boyfriend has a mind of his own and the mental capacity to do as he wishes. That’s why telling him to do something only you want will be the same as giving him a peremptory order.

He’ll interpret that order in a nagging way and most likely feel just as disrespected as you do.

Possibly even more.

So don’t pretend to be your boyfriend’s mother and instead, make your idea your partner’s idea. I don’t mean that you need to manipulate him into agreeing with you, but do tell him that not liking his exes’ pictures will benefit him, you, and the relationship.

You can do that by choosing your words considerately.

He may be a man (a person who’s physically strong), but that doesn’t mean that his brain is strong enough to withstand sharp criticism and disapproval.

If you don’t express yourself effectively, you shouldn’t expect him not to get offended. He likely won’t be the bigger person unless you present your idea calmly and give him a reason to take you seriously – as an equal.

I don’t want to stereotype, but most guys hate overly emotional conversations. They especially hate it when their girlfriends appear out of control and tell them how things are supposed to be.

So start the conversation about him liking his exes’ pictures serenely by saying something like this.

“Can I talk to you about something? I know you’ve been very busy recently and that you have a lot on your mind right now, but I want you to know that I trust you as you haven’t given me a reason not to. You’ve been very kind and patient with me and I really like that about you.

I feel that we’re on the right path.

But there’s just one thing that bothers me, and I’d like to tell you about it. I noticed that you liked your exes’ pictures on (Instagram) and still continue to do so. I’m not accusing you of anything because I know you have my best interests at heart, but before you respond, I’d just like you to understand how it makes me feel.

When I see you like your exes’ posts, it gives me severe anxiety because you used to be intimate with them. It reminds me that it hasn’t been long since your relationships ended and that there are exes who get back together years after the breakup.

Again, it’s not that I don’t trust you because I do. Trust isn’t a problem. What bothers me is that it hurts me more than I care to admit.

Do you think we can talk about this and meet each other halfway? I’m more than willing to listen and consider any suggestion you may have.”

If you express yourself like this, a guy with decent emotional maturity will know where you’re coming from. He’ll know that you’re not looking to pick a fight with him, but that you’re searching for solutions to the problem.

If your boyfriend has below-average emotional intelligence, however, then he probably won’t understand how you feel no matter how you express yourself. He’ll probably see you as an insecure and possessive woman, say that your problems are deep-rooted, and tell you that you need to solve your problems on your own.

Needless to say, a guy like this may not possess the empathy to consider your hurt feelings. So you may want to think about his ability to make you happy now and in the future.

Do you agree with the reasons why guys like their exes’ pictures and statuses? Tell me what you think about it by commenting below.

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Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.