Although every breakup situation is different, most breakups still require dumpees to go no contact with their ex. They require dumpees to give the dumper some space and focus on themselves. That’s how they can learn to accept the breakup, show respect, display healthy self-esteem, and avoid pressuring the dumper.
If the dumpee doesn’t go no contact, he or she may portray him/herself as a desperate individual who doesn’t respect the dumper’s feelings and decision to leave. This may anger the dumper and bring a negative reaction out of him or her.
So bear in mind that you should go no contact with your ex if your ex left you to fend for yourself. No contact won’t just save face but also heal your wounds and give you a small sense of control. The longer you stay in no contact, the stronger you can expect to feel and the more your ex will process the negative parts of the breakup.
There’s no guarantee your ex will want you back, but no contact is your best bet. If no contact doesn’t bring the dumper back, nothing else will. No contact is the most powerful reattraction technique because it puts your ex in charge of his or her happiness and well-being. If your ex realizes that he or she isn’t happy, your ex will connect the dots and know it’s got nothing to do with you, but rather with his or her post-breakup decisions and actions.
Your ex must encounter problems without you so your ex can see that his or her life has worsened since the breakup. A bad post-breakup experience will open your ex’s eyes and urge your ex to do something about it.
Always remember that no contact isn’t optional. It’s a necessary post-breakup technique meant for you to retain your value and wait for your ex to have an epiphany. When your ex has one, chances are he or she won’t be able to blame you for his or her problems and unhappiness. Instead of putting the blame on you, your ex will see his or her flaws and be forced to take care of them.
If your ex doesn’t know how to take care of them, he or she could get hurt and ask you for help. You must stay patient until your ex rediscovers your worth and wants to be a part of your life again.
Don’t try to make your ex feel something for you without no contact – by talking to your ex like a friend. Friendship won’t bring your ex back because it will give your ex relationship benefits for free. It will show your ex he or she can get anything from you just by reaching out and asking for it.
That will significantly lower your ex’s respect for you and his or her ability to redevelop feelings.
Dumpers fall back in love when they have to work for their ex’s attention and recognition. Work makes them invest in their ex and see their ex’s potential. A lack of work, on the other hand, makes them take their ex for granted and prevents them from growing.
If you want your ex back, you’ll have to go no contact with your ex and let your ex come to you. By withdrawing your attention and letting your ex put the necessary work in, your ex will show that he or she finds you valuable, attractive, and worthy of recognition. Don’t think that your ex will move on and forget about you if you start no contact.
Things can’t possibly get any worse than they already are. No contact can only make your ex nostalgic and curious about you. For that to happen, though, your ex must be left to his or her devices, get in trouble, and question his or her self-worth. Your ex must essentially stop considering you the person responsible for his or her unhappiness and remember all the times you made him or her happy.
When your ex forgets about the bad times and gives you the credit you deserve, everything will fall into place on its own. You won’t have to beg your ex to care about you and be with you because your ex will show you care and love on his/her own.
When exes understand their ex’s worth and regret leaving, they take an active approach and do everything in their power to redeem themselves. The first thing they do is break the silence of no contact and reach out. Then, they ask some questions and break the ice. And finally, they express how they feel and try to get back with their ex.
If they love their ex, they don’t let their ex get away. They make sure their ex knows how they feel and what they’re prepared to do to fix the relationship.
In this post, we discuss whether you should go no contact with an ex and how you can reattract the dumper as quickly as possible.
Why should I go no contact with an ex?
No contact is an essential part of the breakup. It’s essential whether you want your ex back or just move on. Regardless of what you want, the relationship failed and requires some space to heal. You and your ex must get some distance from each other so you can detach, detox, improve, and regain your individuality.
Space will teach you that you don’t need each other to survive. You can be just as happy and healthy on your own and eventually with someone else. The reason you have trouble understanding this is that you’re attached and got used to relying on each other for various wants and needs.
It’s time to change that. As exes, you must disconnect from each other and rely on yourselves or others. You can ask anyone for help but each other. If you continue to interact and act like the breakup never happened, you’ll get false hope and stay attached for the wrong reasons.
You won’t only waste your recovery and self-improvement time but also prevent yourselves from opening your hearts to individuals who can give you more than friendship. You can consider giving friendship a try when you’re fully over each other and don’t want to be together. That’s when you may benefit from occasional conversations.
But while the breakup is fresh, it may be better to avoid conversing, seeing each other, and even hearing things about each other. Information gives you hope or takes it away, which makes it much harder for you to accept the breakup and let go.
Although you can move on without no contact, it will take much longer. Especially if you get rejected, blamed, ignored, hurt, or confused. If your ex does something you don’t understand or aren’t ready for, you’ll struggle to not take it personally. You may also retaliate and start a fight with your ex.
So avoid problems that can be avoided by starting no contact with your ex. You won’t get hurt when you have no idea what your ex is up to and how your ex thinks and feels about you. If you keep your distance, you may not have all the information you crave, but a least you’ll keep healing and working on yourself.
No contact will also help you heal and see the relationship from another perspective. Right now, you probably see it as the best thing that ever happened to you. But give it some time and your opinion will change. You’ll detach, heal, and notice that your ex has flaws too, and isn’t who you made him or her out to be.
It’s hard to see things rationally when every fiber in your body tells you to reconnect with your ex and feel accepted. You will be able to see things from a more rational standpoint when you stop feeling so rejected and unworthy of love.
I suppose you’ll understand that talking to your ex is unfair to your ex, disrespectful to yourself, and a waste of time for both parties.
If you broke up due to unhealthy patterns, no contact may be able to help you with them. It may force you and your ex to stop making the same mistakes and hurting each other over and over again. This means you may finally learn the things you need to learn and grow as people.
Post-breakup reflection and growth are essential, but they’re only truly possible with no contact. No contact allows both parties to step back, reflect on their actions, and take accountability. This process can foster self-awareness, maturity, and ultimately, self-forgiveness.
With that said, here’s why you should go no contact with your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend.
When should I not go no contact with my ex?
You should avoid starting no contact with your ex when your ex specifically tells you that he or she wants you to demonstrate your changes and win his or her trust back. In that case, no contact should be avoided because it will do more harm than good. It will show your ex you’re not willing to correct your mistakes and give him or her something to work with.
Needless to say, your ex will soon stop giving you a chance to showcase your improvements and let you do no contact all you want. Your ex won’t care when you don’t want to change anything he or she badly needs you to change.
So if your ex gave you a chance to change something about yourself that wasn’t working while you were together, remember that you shouldn’t ignore it with no contact. No contact is only for dumpees whose dumper doesn’t want them to put the work in and grow for the sake of the relationship.
Dumpees who receive instructions to evolve must take their ex’s final chance seriously and do their best to earn their ex’s trust and love.
Fortunately, this is probably the only time you shouldn’t go no contact with a former partner. Every other time, no contact is your savior. It’s the only thing left to do when the dumper loses romantic interest and the will to get back together. No contact can stop you from saying and doing mean and desperate things that scare your ex away and get you rejected.
Even if your ex doesn’t want to stop talking to you, no contact is the way to go. You must start it to restore the balance of power and improve your self-love and purpose in life. If you do no contact right, your ex may eventually see that leaving you was a bad idea and that he or she wants to get back together.
Until that happens, stick to no contact and wait for your ex’s perception of you to change.
Do you think you should go no contact with your ex? What makes you want to do that? Let us know in the comments below.
And if you want to chat with us about the effects of no contact, reach out via our coaching services.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
