Breaking up with someone is no fun. I know it can be difficult to break up with your partner, but giving him a proper face-to-face explanation is the least he deserves. It doesn’t matter how badly he treated you or how guilty you feel for breaking his heart. It’s something you must do out of respect.
You may not love your boyfriend or girlfriend anymore, but you probably did in the past. Since he or she stuck around until the end, talking and discussing things with your partner is something you must do for him/her.
Every dumpee wants closure from the person they love. So if you’re going to leave your partner, treat your soon-to-be-ex with respect—even if he or she didn’t always deserve it. Be the better person and end the relationship in the right way.
Here are 8 bad ways you can possibly break up with someone you used to love.
1)Text & email
Trying to confront and break up with someone we don’t value as a romantic partner is a difficult task. As a matter of fact, it’s so difficult dumpers oftentimes start looking for ways to avoid the topic. They hold back for so long until they are at the end of their patience and start feeling really nervous.
When the time has finally come, they either gather up the courage and break up in person or they do what seems much easier. They text.
People that decide to break up over text feel guilty, stressed and scared, so they choose an easier alternative.
In their heads, they’re thinking, “If I choose a long-distance approach, I won’t have to deal with my uncomfortable situation.”
After some thinking, they decide to end things over text and expect their partner to accept their decision right away. Since the postponement of the breakup made them frustrated and extremely certain it’s the right choice, dumpers immediately distance themselves from the dumpees.
Breaking up over text is a bad way to break up with someone because it shows you prioritize your awkwardness way over your partner’s grief. Not only do you lack empathy, but you appear very selfish and disrespectful.
2)Asking your friend to deliver the bad news
Similarly to the previous point, having your friend do the ugly deed for you is also a horrible way to break up. By involving another person in your breakup, you demonstrate a big weakness. You tell the world two things:
- That you are too scared of your partner’s reaction.
- That you lack the ability to deal with difficult situations.
Unfortunately, relationships and breakups don’t work in threes or more so you can’t expect your mom or your best friend to hold your hand. You got in a relationship on your own accord and so you must, therefore, end it yourself.
If you’re ever tempted to have somebody break up for you in your stead, think about the kind of a person you will appear to be.
If you need help figuring it out, I can help you. You would appear as a cowardly, insecure and immature teenager that should not be dating.
3)Leaving a letter
Although leaving behind a letter doesn’t sound like the worst way to break up with someone, it’s not the best way either. Breaking up in this innocent-looking way may look like a thoughtful gesture in the movies, but not so much in real life.
It doesn’t matter if you’re going to chase after your dream to become a rockstar or if you’re permanently migrating to the other side of the world.
Anybody that has been in your life for a decent amount of time deserves a proper parting. You can and should at least give your partner some clarity by having a conversation which doesn’t have to be longer than an hour.
4)Skype & phone call
Breaking up over Skype might not be as horrible as breaking up over text, but it’s still a bad way to break up with someone you care about (or don’t). The person you’re breaking up with deserves to see you in person. Once you’ve said everything there is to say, he or she will leave peacefully.
On the other hand, if the dumpee gets broken up with over skype or phone call, he or she isn’t given the opportunity to say goodbye and obtain closure.
The dumpee is instead forced to move on without any information by going cold turkey, straight into the withdrawal stage of no contact.
5)Bringing your friends
If you really want to neglect and surpress your partner’s emotions and feelings, bring over your friends or even mutual friends and break up with your partner. It’s truly one of the best ways to confuse your soon-to-be-ex-partner and make him or her question your morality.
Before you bring your friends for backup, think about your partner’s feelings for a moment. Not only is he already at a breakup disadvantage as a dumpee, but he’s also severely outnumbered. In so doing, you make him or her look extremely bad.
6)Making the person you’re seeing call your partner
This is a bad way to break up with someone and happens more often than you may think. I suppose some dumpers are so angry and disconnected, they go the extra mile to hurt their “ex” as much as possible. Vengeful behavior is horrible on so many levels as it shows that the dumper wishes to completely destroy the dumpee for their satisfaction.
By putting down the dumpee and ruining his or her self-esteem, the dumper obtains a lot of power.
Knowing the dumpee is in pain empowers the dumper significantly. This is due to a false sense of justice—also known as the victim’s mentality.
Any dumpee that gets called by their ex’s new partner deserves way better and should rejoice when the dumper finally shows his or her true colors.
7)Ghosting
There’s no better way to ruin your good karma than by ghosting your partner. Ghosting means you disappear off the radar by ignoring calls and texts from your partner and act as if you were dead.
When you break up with someone in this horrible way, it shows you have no respect for your partner and at the same time—for yourself.
Anyone who ghosts his boyfriend or girlfriend is a spineless coward who shouldn’t be in a relationship until he or she learns how to love and be loved.
Empathy is free and helpful, yet so few people actually give any. It’s as if it costs people their dignity.
8)Manipulating your partner into breaking up with you
Some people are so afraid of pulling the trigger, they will do something outrageous to force their partner to break up with them.
They can say and do bad things, completely ignore their partner, incite jealousy, starve their partner for attention, etc.
There are hundreds of ways to deprive your partner of love and basic relationship needs. To hurt your partner just so he or she will break up with you though, doesn’t sound right. People that do this certainly don’t care very much about core values.
Did you get left behind any of these ways? Please leave a comment below.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
Hi Zan,
I have a question. Will the guy feel guilty or conscience after doing this? Or they’ll just ignore the girl they dumped?
My ex just text me. I feel im killed alive.
Hope to hear from you.
Thank you!