Blocking an ex sends both a good and a bad message. On the one hand, it shows that you’re not interested in talking and staying friends. But on the other, it indicates that you’re incapable of dealing with rejection and anger and that you’ve become resentful.
It tells your ex that if you can’t have a romantic relationship with your ex, you don’t want any relationship at all. You’d rather show you’re offended by your ex’s decision to end the relationship and that the breakup hurt your ego and pride.
Blocking an ex essentially prohibits your ex from contacting you, apologizing, and giving you closure. It also prevents your ex from getting back together with you if he or she rediscovers your worth and wants to get back in touch.
When an ex reaches out and sees that he or she is blocked, the dumper might not look for other ways to contact you and tell you that he or she is in pain and regrets leaving.
This, of course, depends on how badly the dumper wants to be with you, but if the dumper’s pain is not super high, the dumper might deal with the pain on his or her own and consider you disinterested or bitter.
When you’re bitter and capable of rejecting and hurting the dumper, the dumper may decide not to force a conversation with you. It may be safer for him or her to deal with regrets and pain without your assistance and love.
So remember that blocking an ex after the breakup can send the message that you’re hurt but doing okay enough not to beg. It doesn’t make it any easier for your ex to contact you and express regrets and desires to reconnect.
If anything, blocking makes your ex think he or she is despised, which strongly dissuades your ex from looking for alternative communication channels to get back in touch with.
Sometimes dumpers reach out despite being blocked, but if your goal is to reconcile with your ex, you’re taking a big risk because blocking sends the message that you’re ‘butthurt’ and unwilling to chat.
If you don’t want to chat with the dumper (which you shouldn’t), it’s always better to just say it. Show you have control over your emotions, that you’re capable of expressing yourself, and that you don’t run away from difficult situations.
Your ex may not feel as ignored as your ex would otherwise, but that’s not the feeling you want your ex to feel anyway. Your ex has to love you to want you back. Feeling ignored won’t help your ex redevelop respect and love.
Most mature people will think you’re bitter or vengeful and incapable of managing your emotions when you think you deserve better treatment (feel victimized).
That will put them off and make it harder for them to respect and value you.
How you portray yourself after the breakup is very important. You don’t want your ex to perceive you as emotionally driven, especially if your relationship often involved heated arguments.
You want your ex to think you’ve got your emotions under control and that you’re doing well. Your happy life could make your ex envy and crave your happiness whereas a miserable life could repulse your ex and make your ex glad he or she dumped you.
When you first started dating, you didn’t attract your ex by being miserable and resenting your ex. On the contrary, you displayed positive habits and exuded confidence and healthy self-esteem.
If you try to be with your ex by blocking, ignoring, and posting depressing things on social media, you’ll send the message that you’re not doing okay and that you’re acting on hurt feelings and low self-esteem. Your ex won’t care enough to cry and want you to unblock him or her.
Your ex might feel disappointed if he or she intended to stay friends, but that’s about it.
Blocking an ex who needs space and lacks feelings won’t do you any good. It will just make you look unhappy and impulsive.
It will help you only if your ex keeps ignoring your need to heal by reaching out or if you lost hope and want to get over your ex. In such cases, you can block your ex and prevent your ex from making your healing difficult.
You’ll heal quicker when you stop interacting with your ex and give yourself a proper chance to detach and rebuild your self-love.
The best thing about blocking is that it lets you heal in peace. Blocking encourages detachment as it lets you avoid unwanted breadcrumbs from an ex. Breadcrumbs trigger emotional setbacks, so every missed text, call, like, or update from your ex helps you stay in control of your emotions longer.
Hence, blocking isn’t completely wrong. It’s a good idea when your ex keeps texting you and insisting on wanting to be your friend. It’s the best and only solution to unsolicited reachouts that confuse you, empower you with false hope, and hinder your healing.
When your ex doesn’t understand and care about how his or her actions make you feel, blocking is a must. It’s a means of protecting yourself, regaining your emotional independence, and living life on your terms.
Although many dumpees block their exes after the breakup and never regret blocking, many dumpees do regret it. Those dumpees who block on impulse tend to question their decisions as they wonder how their ex perceives them and whether their ex will want them back despite their blocking.
They don’t want a single decision to block to prevent them from reconciling in the future. That’s why they often unblock their ex and sometimes even reach out to say they hold no hard feelings toward their ex.
Such dumpees make the mistake of reaching out to their ex and risk pushing their ex away and making themselves vulnerable. They make their situation more complicated because they want to undo the damage caused by their breaking by force.
So if you’re thinking about blocking an ex and wonder what message blocking an ex sends, know that it usually doesn’t send a good message. If the dumper still talks to you—and you block your ex in response to a text or call, it makes the dumper think that you feel smothered, uncomfortable, and angry.
However, if your ex didn’t do anything to get blocked, then blocking shows that you’re hurt and bitter and that you want to move on.
In either case, blocking doesn’t demonstrate that you’re doing great. It shows that you’re avoiding uncomfortable emotions rather than dealing with them head-on – the way responsible people do.
In this post, we discuss what message blocking an ex sends and what you should do instead of blocking. For those of you who have already blocked your ex, we’ve got you covered as well.
What message does blocking an ex send?
Blocking an ex sends the message that you’re not happy with how things have turned out. It reveals that you’re unhappy with your ex’s decision to end the relationship or with your ex’s post-breakup behavior.
You expected your ex to treat you with love and respect and get back together. But because that didn’t happen, you felt hurt and angry and blocked your ex to preserve your dignity and regain your sense of control.
That showed you were in a lot of pain and that you couldn’t talk to your ex and receive updates on your ex’s life. If you constantly stalked your ex’s social profiles, you blocked your ex to avoid analyzing and getting hurt.
Of course, your ex didn’t know that. Your ex assumed you were having a hard time coping with the breakup and that you blocked to show how hurt and disappointed you were. Blocking told your ex that the breakup affected you deeply, that you felt victimized, and most importantly, that you wanted to leave the past behind and move on.
You haven’t moved on yet; you merely wished to leave the past behind.
And your ex is probably aware of that. He or she considers your decision to block highly emotional and a response to something he or she has done.
Whether it’s unsolicited texts or the breakup itself that made you resort to blocking, your ex thinks you want to block him or her out of your life to have an easier time coping with anger, anxiety, or depression.
Your ex probably won’t contact you after you’ve blocked him or her. Your ex will think that you need space and that you’re focusing on recovery and moving on. Your ex will contact you only if he or she has unfinished business to discuss, romantic feelings to express, or if your ex doesn’t know or care what you need and how you feel.
So bear in mind that blocking an ex sends the message that you’re not doing as great as you’d like and that you want to feel better than you currently do. You may not be desperate for recognition, but you are hurt enough to forcefully create some distance between you and your ex.
You want space to stop taking the breakup personally, seeing what your ex is up to, and thinking you’re undeserving of your ex’s love and commitment.
If you want to know how your ex perceives your decision to block, the best way to understand it is to put yourself in your ex’s shoes and ask yourself how you’d feel if you got blocked by a person you left.
If your ex blocked you right after the breakup, you’d see that your ex feels rejected and hurt and wants to stop feeling that way. If your ex blocked you after you reached out and said or did something your ex wasn’t ready for, you’d see that your ex wants you to respect his or her boundaries and desires to heal.
And if your ex blocked you some time after the breakup seemingly out of nowhere, you’d see that your ex has made enough emotional progress to think rationally and no longer need you in his or her life. You’d realize that due to detachment, your ex’s opinion of you has changed and forced your ex to leave you behind.
So put yourself in your dumper’s shoes and you’ll know what your ex thinks about blocking.
If you can’t figure it out, here’s a picture showing what message blocking an ex sends to the dumper.
Is there an alternative to blocking?
Instead of ignoring an ex that dumped you and blocking him or her, you can tell your ex you don’t want to be friends/stay in touch. Telling your ex you don’t want to chat may be harder than blocking and disappearing (ghosting), but it’s much more rewarding in the long run.
Not only will your ex understand how you think and feel—and respect you more than if you block, but you’ll also develop yourself in the right kind of way. You’ll learn to communicate difficult emotions, wants, and needs respectfully and empathetically and have better relationships because of it.
It may not help you with your ex, but the person you date after your ex will certainly appreciate it. He or she will see you deal with problems like an adult.
So keep your distance from your ex and tell your ex to not reach out anymore when or if he or she reaches out. Your ex needs to know that you need space and have priorities in life that don’t involve him or her.
When your ex understands that you’re choosing yourself over him or her and moving on, your ex will respect you more than if you converse with your ex. Your ex will also wonder about you at times and feel tempted to check up on you and ask others about you.
You should block your ex only if:
- You can’t stop stalking your ex’s profiles
- You don’t have children or financial obligations requiring you to communicate
- Your ex doesn’t give you the space you need to heal
- Your ex threatens you and your loved ones
- You don’t respect your ex and don’t want your ex back
What if I already blocked my ex? Should I unblock?
If you blocked your ex impulsively a day or two ago, you probably should unblock your ex. Your ex is likely enjoying his or her life and hasn’t realized that he or she got blocked. But if you blocked your ex a while ago, you shouldn’t unblock your ex.
Unblocking will make you appear volatile and unpredictable and show that you’re a danger to your ex’s safety. Your ex will think you might say or do something that pressures him or her.
In that case, you may as well keep your ex blocked and see if your ex discovers your worth and finds another way to reach out.
Some dumpers reach out despite being blocked on one platform. For example, if their ex blocks them on WhatsApp, they reach out on Facebook or via email. They block only partially – usually on the app they use the most.
They do this to avoid seeing reminders of their ex and to give their ex a chance to reach out in case of an emergency.
If you blocked your ex because your ex wouldn’t stop bothering you with things that don’t concern you, you shouldn’t unblock your ex. Unblocking would show that you’ve processed the hurt and that you’re ready to receive more breadcrumbs from your ex.
Unblock your ex only if you blocked recently and still hope your ex will one day reach out and want to be with you. Of course, your opinion of your ex will eventually change. But for now, you probably still feel hopeful and want your ex to validate you and patch your wounds.
It may be safer for you to leave things as they are and focus on healing. Avoid saying or doing things that bring negative reactions out of your ex and kill too much hope at once.
What do you think? What message does blocking an ex send? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
And if you want to talk to us about whether you should block your ex or what you should do if you’ve already blocked your dumper ex, reach out to us. We offer coaching services tailored to meet your needs.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
I blocked my ex-girlfriend on all social media two weeks ago because she always checks my Instagram story and posts and even seemed to copy my activities, like biking, running, and going to concerts. She was the one who broke up with me, found someone new, and is now engaged. She should be focusing on her new relationship, so I don’t understand why she would still want to keep up with my life. I feel blocking her was the right decision, as it allows me to fully focus on my future goals and becoming the best version of myself. If she wants to reach out, there are other ways, and she needs to earn my respect back first.
Hi Do San.
She left and is dating someone else, so I don’t think she’s looking for validation. A reaction from you wouldn’t empower her much or at all. I think she’s just curious about you. If blocking her hels, keep her blocked. She’ll find a way to reach out if she has something imporant to say.
Kind regards,
Zan
Changed number, wrote a script that automatically deleted emails and replied you’re blocked.
It wasn’t me incapable of dealing it was like flushing a toilet bowl. I wanted to be rid of it all.
Many months later we had a nice talk. My biggest regret was letting her back in. I have felt like a fallback position for years now. Can’t shake that feeling.
Hi DT.
If it worked, it worked. Blocking does help when you want to move on and avoid emotional setbacks. I hope life’s gotten much better!
Best wishes,
Zan